by Nash, Jean
People milled about, drinking champagne, nibbling on savory hors d’oeuvres, lavishly praising the happy proprietor. Susanna, at his side, was even happier than he. The success of the Excelsior was only half the source of her joy. She suspected—no, she was sure—that she was carrying Jay’s child.
This past summer spent with Jay had been the most glorious period of Susanna’s life. Ever since that night at Absecon Inlet, he rarely let her out of his sight. He insisted that she spend her days with him, whether working at the Sea Star or overseeing the completion of the Excelsior. With Teddy gone to Boston, it was like the old days, working side by side, each day a precious jewel because she was sharing it with the man she loved.
And the nights—ah, the nights! They would stroll on the Boardwalk or on the moonlit beach. They would talk or be silent, whichever mood struck them, but always they would touch, as if one could not exist without the life force of the other. Later, they’d retire to Jay’s suite at the Brighton, using the private entrance reserved for special guests. They would have some light refreshment, then, by silent agreement, they would move into the bedroom and leisurely disrobe, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
With each piece of clothing Susanna shed, Jay would kiss the warm skin she exposed for his view. His eyes would explore her, his hands would chart his progress, his mouth would stake claim on his priceless possession. Aching with desire, Susanna would twine her arms around him and press burning kisses to his plundering mouth. He would crush her to his heart, then take her to bed, and for hours on end he would make love to her.
She never spoke to him of marriage. She felt more like his wife than if their union had been sanctified by a dozen clergymen. No religious or civil ceremony could have bound them more absolutely than their physical love. The coming child was their pledge, proof of their mutual promise. For weeks Susanna had kept her blessed secret in a special corner of her heart. But today, the hour of Jay’s triumph, she would make him a gift of it.
Augusta and Ford had come down from New York to join in the festivities. Dallas was with them at the buffet, looking as smart as any New Yorker in a stylishly cut blue suit with a blue silk tie pierced by a platinum-based sapphire.
“You’ve lost weight,” he said to Susanna after she drifted away from Jay to spend time with her family.
“No, I haven’t,” she said, when in truth, morning sickness had taken its toll on her. Her tone was sharper than intended. She was on the outs with Dallas. For months now, at regular intervals, he’d been borrowing money from her. She was both angry and worried that he was in some sort of trouble.
“You have, darling,” Augusta chimed in, surveying Susanna’s figure with maternal concern. “Jay must keep you so busy that you haven’t time to eat a proper meal. Ford, what do you think?”
Ford looked not at Susanna’s figure but at the secret that glimmered in her eyes. “You do look thinner than when I last saw you. Is Jay overworking you?”
Susanna’s cheeks flooded with color. Surely Ford knew what she was trying to conceal. “I have been working hard,” she admitted, “but no more so than usual. Jay and I do a lot of walking. Perhaps that’s why I’ve lost a few pounds.”
Augusta caught sight of some old friends across the room. “There are the Ballards! Let’s say hello to them.”
“You go on,” Ford said. “I’d like a word with Susanna first.”
Augusta didn’t press the issue. She linked her arm through Dallas’s, and they went off to greet the Ballards.
Ford said after they left, “Now tell me the truth, Susanna. Is everything all right?”
“Yes, of course it is,” Susanna said cautiously.
“You’re sure?” Ford regarded her keenly. “There isn’t something you want to tell me?”
She very nearly said, “I’m carrying Jay’s child.” She wasn’t ashamed of it. She was happy and proud. But she couldn’t very well tell Ford when she hadn’t yet told Jay. “No, Ford, there isn’t.” She lowered her gaze.
“Susanna.” He cupped her chin with a hand. “Look at me, trust me. I’m your mother’s husband. I feel as if you were my own child. Jay can be unpredictable at times, even...volatile. I know how much that business in Baltimore bothered him. I hope he hasn’t done anything rash.”
Susanna was relieved. Ford knew nothing of her condition. He was simply worried about Jay. Oh, how kind he was! She had to restrain herself from throwing her arms around his neck.
“Ford, I’m grateful for your concern, but I think Jay’s over that now. I really do. He never talks about it. But then again, he rarely talks to me about things that bother him deeply.”
“Don’t take that to heart,” Ford said. “I’m his attorney, and there are matters he sees fit to keep secret even from me.”
“How odd,” she said, surprised. “Jay trusts you implicitly. He once told me that you were so rich he never had to worry you might betray him.”
Ford smiled thinly. “He said that, did he? How like him. I can count the people he trusts on the fingers of one hand.”
“How did you meet?” Susanna asked. “Jay never told me.”
“Under unfortunate circumstances,” Ford said. “Jay and my brother were co-owners of a hotel in Hartford. Bobby was fond of the pasteboards—much like your brother,” he added gently when Susanna gave him a sympathetic look. “He wasn’t the businessman Jay is. In fact, he wasn’t a businessman at all. His father-in-law had left him the hotel, and he promptly made a shambles of it. Jay bought a piece of the hotel, saved it from ruin, then he eventually eased Bobby out.”
Susanna was mystified. “Weren’t you angry with Jay?”
“No, I wasn’t. It was my brother I was enraged at. Bobby brought about his own downfall. I had lent him countless thousands of dollars before I realized I was pouring money down a sinkhole. When Jay restored the hotel, I had nothing but admiration for him. I’ve been his friend and attorney ever since.”
“What an extraordinary story!”
Ford smiled and pinched her cheek. “You think anything concerning Jay is extraordinary.”
Susanna frowned a denial, then returned Ford’s smile.
“In any case,” he said, “I consider myself more Jay’s friend than his attorney. That’s why I was concerned about his reaction to the trouble in Baltimore. He won’t discuss it with me. He keeps saying, ‘It’s a dead issue; it’s over. Forget it.’”
“But the police haven’t learned who killed Alan Devlin, have they? Don’t you think Jay would want to know that?”
“I don’t know what he thinks anymore, Susanna. He no longer confides in me. I don’t know what I’ve done to lose his trust.”
The injury in Ford’s tone reminded Susanna of a similar situation. “Ford, you haven’t done anything. Jay behaved the same way with Teddy Addison. He never told him about the embezzlement, or that Alan was dead.”
“That doesn’t surprise me,” Ford said. “Where is Teddy, by the way? I haven’t seen him.”
“Jay sent him to Boston to manage the Fenway.”
“The Fenway? What about Tony Adams?”
“He’s been sent to Baltimore.”
“Why all the maneuvering? Why didn’t Jay keep Tony in Boston and send Teddy to Baltimore?”
“Ford, if you don’t know Jay’s reasons, I certainly don’t. He’s as much an enigma to me as when I first met him.”
“Susanna, do me a service,” Ford said abruptly. “Don’t tell Jay we had this conversation.”
At first she was mystified, but then she quickly agreed. Though their conversation had been innocent, she had a guilty suspicion that if Jay should learn of it, he would be very displeased that they had discussed him.
The celebration went on all day and far into the night. For a select number of guests, a lavish dinner, compliments of the management, was served in the grand dining room. Susanna sat at Jay’s side, resplendent in jade green silk, wearing an emerald necklace he had given her for the occasion.
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After dinner, there was dancing. While Jay charmed the ladies, Susanna danced with the mayor, the governor, and even the boisterous Vice President, who bounced her around the dance floor like one of the broncos he liked to ride. At midnight, when she was finally alone with Jay, standing on the ballroom balcony, she rested her head wearily on his chest and was grateful that the day was nearly over.
“Are you tired?” he asked softly.
“I’m exhausted,” she said. “I can’t wait to go to bed.”
“I wish I could tuck you in,” he murmured against her hair.
She looked up at him questioningly. “But you will, won’t you? I had planned—“ She bit back the words, not wanting to spoil her surprise. “I especially wanted to be with you tonight...to celebrate the opening of the hotel.”
“That’s very tempting, Susanna, but have you forgotten Augusta and Ford are lodging at the Sea Star? How would it look if you creep up to your room in the wee hours of the morning and your formidable mother is waiting up for you?”
“Oh, bother my mother!” she said crossly. “Why does she have to spoil everything?”
“It’s just as well.” Jay released her and lighted a cigarette. “I have to leave early tomorrow morning.”
“You’re leaving? What are you talking about?”
“There’s some unfinished business I’ve been putting off,” he explained. “Now that the Excelsior’s been launched, I have no reason to stay here any longer.”
“Did I hear you correctly?” Susanna went rigid. “Did you say there was no reason to stay in Atlantic City?”
“Yes,” he said, misunderstanding her. “You don’t need me at the moment. The Sea Star is out of trouble. In any case, I’ll write to you regularly.”
“And when will you deign to see me again? When you decide to build another hotel here?”
Her sharp tone caught him off guard. “What the devil’s wrong with you? You knew I couldn’t stay here indefinitely.”
“I’m wearing your betrothal ring,” she said, white with rage, “I’ve shared your bed. How can you say you’re leaving as casually as if you were discussing room rates? Have you no intention of setting a wedding date?”
“Ah, a wedding date.” He tossed his cigarette over the rail and watched its arcing light until it hit the ground.
“Well?” she demanded. “When are we getting married?”
“Susanna, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t thought of a wedding date. The hotel opening has been monopolizing my thoughts. Why don’t we wait until—”
“Until when?” she said evenly, though her eyes stung with angry tears. “Until March or April, when our child is born?”
“Our what?”
“Our child.” Her voice was hard. “The child conceived while you were biding your time here, waiting until it convenienced you to leave.”
He stared at her silently, his face very still. Then: “Are you sure? Have you seen a doctor?”
“No,” she said, “but I’m sure.”
Susanna tried to but couldn’t interpret the conflicting emotions that blazed in his eyes.
“My God, I’m speechless!” he said, so suddenly that she jumped. “I can’t begin to tell you what I’m feeling right now. A child! I can hardly believe it.”
He took her in his arms. She was stiffly unsubmissive. He was aware of the anger he had aroused in her. “Susanna, forgive me,” he said sincerely. “I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry. What a bloody fool I’ve been. We must marry at once—here or in New York, wherever you choose.”
She had been yearning to hear those words for longer than she cared to remember, but by no means was she ready to forgive him. “If you’re marrying me just to give the child a name, you needn’t bother,” she said coldly. “I can manage very well without your charity.”
He stared at her fiercely, his mouth curving downward in that stern look she knew so well. Then his mouth came down on hers, so passionately, so possessively, that had he taken her right there, she would have had neither the strength nor the will to resist him. She could feel his vibrant excitement as he pressed her close to his body. She could feel his desire, no less tumultuous than her own. When at last he raised his head, her senses were reeling. His arms held her fast, his hand pressed her head to his hammering heart.
“That’s not why I’m marrying you,” he said hoarsely, “just to give my child a name.”
“Then why?” she asked, breathless.
“Because I love you, Susanna. You’re in my blood, my heart, my very soul. If ever I lost you, I wouldn’t want to live. Haven’t you known that all along, you little sea-witch?”
She wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry. Her heart ached with love for him.
“Yes I’ve known it,” she said, barely able to contain her joy. “There was never a single moment when I doubted it.”
Events moved so quickly after that night that Susanna had hardly a moment to catch her breath. Jay didn’t leave Atlantic City the next morning. He moved out of the Brighton, took a suite at the Excelsior, and made arrangements to marry Susanna the following week. Jay’s sisters and their families were abroad, so only Ford, Augusta, and Dallas would be attending the ceremony at the Episcopal Church of the Ascension. This meager guest list had been insisted on by the bride’s outraged mother.
“What?” Augusta gasped, when Jay told her of the coming child. “You compromised my daughter? Have you no conscience, no sense of honor?” And when Jay quietly admitted he had wronged Susanna but that he intended to marry her, Augusta said severely, “You most assuredly will marry her—as quickly as possible and with no publicity. You’ll not broadcast the wedding date for the world to take note of. I’m extremely angry with you, sir. If your marriage isn’t a happy one, if Susanna has even the smallest complaint, you’ll have to answer to me, I give you my promise.”
To Augusta, Jay was appropriately respectful and contrite. Later, in private with Susanna, he vented his frustration in no uncertain terms.
“That viper-tongued harpy!” he said as they strolled on the deserted Boardwalk. “I’d like to wring her neck.”
“I told you not to tell her,” Susanna said glumly.
“I had to tell her. Can you imagine her reaction if I said nothing, and then a child appears five months after the wedding?”
Susanna shuddered at the thought, but still she said, “I don’t care. You shouldn’t have told her.”
“I know I was wrong to take advantage of you,” Jay raged on, “but she’s got the devil of a nerve censuring my actions when her own life has been far from simon-pure.”
“What do you mean?” Susanna stopped in her tracks and halted Jay’s stride with a hand on his arm. “Did Ford find out something about her past?”
“Ford,” Jay echoed scornfully. “Since Ford married the Lily Maid of Astolat, she doesn’t even have a past. No, Susanna, I hired an investigator and found out what your mother was doing all those years.”
“Tell me!” she said at once, but she didn’t want to know. Whatever misdeeds Augusta may have committed, Susanna, in her present condition, felt unqualified to pass judgment.
Jay’s anger faded as he took note of the apprehension in Susanna’s eyes.
“Do you really want to know?” His hard tone gentled. “It’s not a pretty story.”
“Tell me,” she said staunchly. “I’m not a child, Jay.”
He eyed her closely, trying to gauge the extent of her resolve. “So you’ve already told me. But perhaps tonight isn’t the best time to unearth ghosts from the past.”
“It’s as good a time as any,” she maintained, though she wished with all her heart that she’d left well enough alone.
“Let’s sit down.” Jay led her to a bench facing the ocean and spread his handkerchief on the damp wooden slats. When they were seated, he said, “I don’t know what your father told you, but I assume from what you’ve said that you think your mother left him. The truth is, your father turned her out.”
Susanna was shocked. “But he always said she abandoned us.”
“That may have been the way he perceived it, Susanna. You see, there was another man, an actor by the name of Sean Kelly. Your mother and he were lovers.”
“She had a lover?” Susanna gasped. “Oh, how despicable.”
Jay paused a moment, then said, “To be fair to your mother, I must tell you that she probably had cause to take a lover. You see, your father....” He paused again, then went on. “Your father, on occasion, used to beat your mother.”
“I don’t believe you!”
“Susanna, it’s true. My investigator was very thorough. There was a violent side to your father that few people were aware of. Those who knew about it kept quiet, perhaps in fear that your father would turn his violence on them. Your mother never spoke about his abuse of her. I daresay she was ashamed, and felt somehow to blame for it. In any case, when your father found out Augusta was carrying Kelly’s child, he banished her from the house.”
“A child?” Susanna stared at him numbly, trying to assimilate this disturbing information and the even more appalling revelation about her father.
“Your mother and Kelly went to New York,” Jay said. “He had the lead role in a play that opened to great acclaim and he became quite the matinee idol. Then, as your mother’s pregnancy progressed, he began to look around for greener pastures.”
Susanna remained silent. It was too much to absorb. Her father had been a wife-beater. And her mother....she didn’t know what to think about her mother.
“Your mother found out Kelly was seeing another woman,” Jay went on. “She intended to confront her, to demand that she give him up. One afternoon, she started out on foot to Union Square, where the woman lived. It had been snowing all day, but Augusta wasn’t deterred. It was the day of the great blizzard of ‘88. The snow was so heavy and the winds so intense that your mother fainted along the way and might have frozen to death if two teamsters hadn’t seen her lying in the street. They brought her to a nearby house. The people who took her in made her as comfortable as they could, but that night, she went into premature labor, and the child was stillborn.”
