New Hope for the Little Cornish Farmhouse

by Nancy Barone

  I stared at him. ‘You want us to move… to California? With you and Jess?’

  ‘Yes, I do! We can finish the script there, sort Ben’s leg out and enrol them into their new schools.’

  ‘But… but… what about everything here? All our friends, the children’s friends, and Northwood Academy?’ I’d nearly killed myself to keep them there, and they loved it. How could I just let them leave it after all that?

  ‘But I’ve found a fantastic new school for them, you’ll see.’

  He’d found a fantastic new school for my kids? There he went again, making my decisions for me. ‘But… I can’t do that to the kids. They’d miss Cornwall terribly. They’re English through and through, and adapting to a new life would destabilise them, especially at this age…’

  ‘Well, then why don’t we take it in stages? Why don’t you move for only, say a year? We’ll see how it goes, and if they don’t like it, you can come back.’

  That was a very generous offer, despite my views on it. But where did it leave us, as a couple? He was asking me to go and live with him. I had made that mistake the first time with Phil. For my children, I needed to make the right decision this time.

  ‘But if we don’t like it and come back after a year, what does that mean for you and me, Luke?’

  He frowned. ‘I think by then that we’d know what was what. You wouldn’t be my prisoner, Nina.’

  Meaning that he wasn’t asking me to marry him, thank God. But I had to ask myself if I truly was relieved. Had I expected more from him – a true commitment – or was it wiser to just go with the flow, move lock, stock and barrel to California, and be free to come back if it all went pear-shaped? I had already made that mistake of tying myself to a man and look how that had gone.

  ‘What about Cornflower Cottage? And Minnie and Callie? Is there a quarantine? I couldn’t put them through that.’

  His smile faded as he took my hands. ‘Nina, do you want to come with me or not? I’m offering you a life of luxury, free of financial worries and the best of everything. Are you seriously considering staying here? Think about the opportunities for your kids!’

  ‘Yes, I know and I truly appreciate the offer. But there are some things I would need to do first. I want to sort out Ben’s leg, and Chloe and Chanel are still having a difficult time in their friendship, and Emma still won’t admit—’

  I stopped myself as his eyebrows raised. ‘You’re right, you’re right. The kids would benefit tremendously. But it’s a huge decision, Luke, too big to make on two feet. Can I mull it over for a bit at least?’

  He shook his head, but he was chuckling. ‘That’s what I love about you, Nina. Everyone else always comes before you. I’ve never known anyone as selfless as you.’ He kissed me. ‘Okay. Take some time to think about it – but not forever! I want to leave at the end of the month. Now get everyone ready – I’ve booked a restaurant for lunch. I want the kids to know and be part of this decision.’

  But there was one thing I had to do first.

  As Luke was showering upstairs, I called Jack’s mobile. I needed to tell him in person, before anyone else found out. I owed him that much to say the least. And I needed to make sure he was still on my side.

  ‘Come on, come on, pick up…’ I begged, but voicemail kicked in. I took a deep breath and said, ‘Hey, Jack, I need to talk to you, Can you call me back? Bye…’

  That would at least give me some time to think of how to word it. And beg him to back me up, because I needed my friends.

  When the doorbell rang, I was relieved to see it was him, and just in time. With Luke upstairs, minutes away from leaving for the restaurant where we would discuss it with the kids, I still had a tiny and distinct margin to save both Jack’s and my own dignity while trying to do as little damage as possible to our friendship.

  ‘Hey,’ he said softly, eyeing me, sizing me up, wondering what could be so urgent when I had already told him to stay away in that sense.

  I took a deep breath. It was time to make things clear for all of us, so we could hope to go back to the way we were. If that was even possible after that kiss.

  ‘Luke’s back…’ I stammered, unable to look him in the eye. It was, oddly, as if I’d betrayed him in the worst way possible, when I knew that couldn’t be further from the truth, because Jack had Emma.

  He just stood there, dumbfounded. I wrung my hands, helpless. ‘Jack, I told you, you need to – to forget about what happened between us.’

  And that was when, like in the cheesiest of movies, Luke came whistling down the stairs. In his bathrobe, to boot, towelling his floppy hair dry.

  ‘Hi, Jack!’ he said cheerfully as I wanted to bury myself under the floorboards and die. ‘Good to see you again. How are your apples doing?’

  Both Jack and I stared at him.

  ‘Good, thanks,’ Jack answered politely, although I could see his jaw muscle twitching.

  ‘Nina, did you tell him?’ Luke asked as he threw the towel onto the back of the chair.

  I bit my lip and shook my head, my eyes swinging to Jack’s.

  ‘We were gonna tell the kids tonight at dinner first, but what the hell, you’re like family anyway, right? Can you believe our girl’s agreed to move to California with me?’

  Jack’s eyes widened and his jaw tightened. ‘Is this true, Nina?’ he whispered.

  ‘I haven’t quite decided yet,’ I stammered.

  Luke put his arm around my neck and pulled me to him. ‘You know Nina – always thinking about everyone else first,’ he said. ‘Naturally I’ll sell my house and we’ll choose a new one together.’

  I could hear, rather than see, Jack’s intake of breath. But his face remained completely impassive. He cleared his throat. ‘Well, then it seems that congratulations are in order.’

  ‘Thanks, man.’

  And then Jack’s eyes swung to me as he murmured, ‘I hope you’ll be happy, Nina…’ And with that, he turned on his heel and marched out the door.

  ‘Well, that oughta make things clear for him, once and for all,’ Luke said.

  ‘What?’ I whispered.

  ‘Oh, come on, Nina, the guy’s gaga over you. All these years and you haven’t noticed? You really are naïve.’

  I cleared my throat. ‘Naïve? Yes, it would seem so. There was no need to say anything to Jack yet. I haven’t even made my decision. We were supposed to discuss this over lunch with the kids. Plus there are so many things I want to do first, like finish my renovations with my movie royalties.’

  ‘Sure, you can renovate your farmhouse and then sell it once you’ve decided to stay in California.’

  ‘Whoa, what? Sell Cornflower Cottage? Why would I do that?’

  He shrugged. ‘Why would you need it? If you ever want to come back, there are tons of beautiful hotels.’

  ‘But we agreed we’d try it first, for a year, did we not? I told you I don’t know if I could raise the kids there.’

  He shrugged. ‘I did.’

  ‘But I can’t! Chloe and Ben were born and bred here. I can’t just drag them across the world.’

  ‘But I can do that to Jessica?’

  I bristled. ‘No. Of course not. But is it my fault if I prefer Cornwall to California? Holywell Bay to Hollywood?’

  He chuckled. ‘You’ll change your mind.’

  I moved away. ‘I don’t think so, Luke.’

  ‘Nina, think of all that they’d be gaining in LA. A mansion, great schools, the best restaurants.’

  ‘And absolutely no heritage. We both know Hollywood is dubbed Tinseltown. And FYI, we have amazing schools here. Northwood is number one in the Southwest and we have museums, heritage sites, excellent restaurants. And culture, loads of it.’

  ‘So? Hollywood’s an industry, a business like any other. Which, incidentally, has changed your life.’

  Maybe so, but I hadn’t as of yet seen a single penny from his production company.

  ‘Yes, but I don’t want it to change my life that much.
’

  He sighed. ‘Nina – if you come with me, your life is going to change for the better. Accept it and let’s move on, okay?’

  For the better? With this weight on my heart, how did I even know that?

  *

  At the Post Of ice for a packet of crumpets, I parked and yanked on the brakes lever so hard I almost pulled it out.

  ‘Evening,’ I sighed to Alf as I approached the counter.

  ‘Evenin’ Emma!’ he greeted me. I eyed him. He seemed all right, though.

  Deirdre saw me from her ice cream parlour across the street and hurried over. ‘Hullo, pet,’ she said breathless. ‘Alf here seems to think that Jack is doing the right thing. What do you think?’

  ‘About what?’ I asked as I pulled some mint candies off the rack. Let him be with Emma, if he wanted. I was sick and tired of all this subterfuge.

  ‘About going. We all think he’s barmy. Don’t you?’

  I turned around. ‘Going? Going where?’

  ‘To London. You didn’t know?’

  I shook my head. ‘No. When’s he coming back?’

  Deirdre removed her glasses. ‘Well, pet. I suppose never. He’s accepted an offer on Crooked Hill.’

  I almost dropped my mints. ‘What? He can’t! His place is here! It was his great, great-grandfather’s!’

  ‘We think so, too, pet. But he’s not having any of it. He’s moving to London. Got a fancy engineering job there already.’

  London? That was a whole world away!

  ‘The lad is definitely moving on with his life,’ Alf said.

  ‘But… but… he always said he was happy here!’ I countered. ‘That this was his place!’ And moreover, what about Emma? He was leaving her, too? Or was she going and didn’t want to tell me? Chanel would have said. How complicated relationships were. Why couldn’t we all just be honest with each other?

  ‘I don’t know what to tell you, Nina,’ Deirdre said, shaking her head.

  *

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me Jack was moving to London?’ I asked Emma on speakerphone as I drove back home in a panic.

  ‘Because he asked me not to, Nina.’

  ‘What? Why? Am I so out of our circle that I’m supposed to find out he’s gone only if I go over there and ring the doorbell?’

  ‘Not that you would,’ she said. ‘Seeing as you’re so wrapped up in your script and your actor boyfriend.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  ‘That you no longer have time for anyone anymore. He has totally enwrapped you in his charm, and all you can think about is that bloody script.’

  ‘That bloody script, as you call it, is my one chance at getting out of the mess my life is in! I can’t afford Ben’s surgery unless we make this movie. So you’ll all have to forgive me if my priority is my son!’

  ‘What about us?’ she said.

  ‘Us? You pretty much have all moved on from our friendship. You have secrets you don’t trust me with and Jack hasn’t even bothered to tell me he’s moving away.’

  ‘Because you don’t deserve our confidence!’ she cried. ‘You are not the same person we used to know.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean? I only want you to be happy, Emma.’

  She snorted as she inhaled.

  ‘Oh, Em! You haven’t started smoking again…?’

  ‘You know what, Nina? Get off my back!’

  ‘Em, what’s happening to you?’

  ‘I am sick and tired of everything, and I’m sick and tired of you!’ she shouted and I listened to her angry breathing. Was this really the end of a long friendship?

  Once home, I wiped my eyes and stuffed my hands into my pockets as I marched up the road to Crooked Hill Farm.

  Jack’s SUV wasn’t there, nor was there any sign he’d slept at home, as all the shutters were closed. He always opened them first thing in the morning. Was he ill? I hated to think he was inside, sprawled on the floor or in bed, unable to help himself, so I called him on my mobile. And on the third ring, he hung up. Okay. He wasn’t in the mood for any conversation. But if he had made a mistake, it was only right that I should clear the air with my friends – leaving out, of course, Jack and my little moment of weakness.

  So the next morning, I baked some Peace Muffins and drove to Truro to see Emma, hoping she’d calmed down a bit. If she was working with a client, I’d wait in a café or something. On the way, I thought about Jack, and his kiss. How could he do that to his best friends, kiss me while he was seeing her?

  I parked in front of Emma’s flat and was about to call her when the front door opened, and out came Jack, still throwing his shirt on. His hair was sticking out in every direction and there was a look of bed in his eyes. I sank back against the wall, my heart beating a trillion beats a second.

  I made to move away, but he turned his head in my direction and did a double take and our eyes met and locked, but only for a moment, because Jack nodded briskly and went the other way, his shoulders stiff with indignity.

  I could have gone up the steps and rung the bell to Emma’s flat, but suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so talkative anymore.

  When I got home, Luke was tapping away at his laptop and I poured us a cup of coffee, when really what I needed was a double chamomile.

  ‘Hey, hon,’ Luke said, not looking up. ‘My lawyer just called. He wants you to sign a cohabitation agreement.’

  ‘Oh yeah, what’s that?’ I asked distractedly as I kicked my shoes off and into the hall closet, followed by my bag.

  ‘It’s something similar to a pre-nup, only for unmarried couples.’

  I padded into the dining room and fell onto a chair, forcing myself to calm down. I’d had enough of being talked down to and pushed and pulled in every direction. This was all I needed. I took a deep breath, and shifted my mind to this new issue. There was always something.

  ‘Ah. And… what do you think?’ I asked.

  ‘I think it’s a good idea.’ He shrugged. ‘After all, anything could happen. We are all Under the Sky, Nina. Good quote, huh?’

  Under the Sky being one of his earlier movies, I’d learned from Google. Which had absolutely nothing to do with our conversation. Was he actually contemplating the end of us before we even started?

  ‘Luke, be serious.’

  He sat back from his laptop and folded his arms. ‘I am being serious. Listen, it’s no biggie, really. Everyone in the business has them.’

  ‘That’s because in the business, almost everyone’s relationships fall apart,’ I countered. ‘Or is that what you’re envisaging?’

  ‘Of course not,’ he assured me.

  ‘How can you be so sure? Look at us both, with failed marriages behind us.’

  ‘Hey, why are you all so doom and gloom now? It’ll be fine. Just relax and go with the flow.’

  ‘I can’t just go with the flow, Luke. This is not a simple matter between you and me.’

  ‘I thought it was, actually.’

  ‘You know exactly what I mean. There are three children to consider. Have you actually asked Jess if she’s happy with this arrangement? Did you consider that maybe she’s wondering what life would be like if she could actually spend time with her mum?’

  ‘Yes, but that has nothing to do with us, Nina.’

  ‘Doesn’t it? I think that Jess would be thrilled if you and Lauren patched things up again, at least as friends, so she could see her. She is her mother, after all.’

  Luke snorted. ‘Like Phil is the father of your kids, you mean?’

  I bristled. ‘That’s different. Phil has had years and years to change, but he’s refused to.’

  ‘Yeah, well at least Phil tried for a few years. Lauren left us the second we realised that Jess was blind. And, as opposed to Phil, she never returned, never looked back. So you’ll excuse me for thinking they’re not the same.’ And with that, he got up, sauntered into the living room and turned on the TV. Loud. Our first non-script-related quarrel?

  I followed hi
m in there. ‘Luke, can we please not argue? I quarrelled with Emma last night and don’t have the strength for another fall-out.’

  He jabbed the remote towards the TV set to mute it. ‘Why, what happened?’ he asked.

  ‘I’d rather not talk about it.’ I really didn’t want to relive the ghastly conversation, nor what was happening in my trio.

  At that moment, the doorbell rang. It was a courier with a large envelope.

  ‘Is that for me?’ Luke asked, getting up and peering behind me as I signed for it.

  I turned it over, and almost froze. Oh God. Smythe and Associates.

  ‘What is it?’ Luke wanted to know, following me as I carried the envelope horizontally into the dining room like it was the sacred ark.

  I sat down, still unable to let it go. ‘M-my divorce lawyers,’ I stammered as I carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the contents. They were, oh my God, my divorce papers – signed by Mr Philip Jenkins himself. Finally!

  I dropped the papers onto the table and threw back my head. ‘I’m free…’ I breathed. ‘I’m finally free…’

  ‘You mean your divorce went through? Oh my God, Nina, that’s fantastic, sweetheart! It’s a sign, you see?’

  And before I knew it, tears of joy (in case you had any doubts) were sliding down my face.

  39

  My Best Friend’s Wedding

  That night, I had a dream. I didn’t know what it meant, but it was quietly horrific.

  I had gone walking and found myself in a clearing with a small path leading down into the woods.

  This path was overgrown with juniper and all sorts of clinging vines and suffocating plants that had soon pulled me to my knees.

  I had no reason to go in there whatsoever. I wasn’t searching for anything, but I found myself, within seconds, lying supine on the bed of the forest, plants closing in on me, and in my mouth and nostrils. I had no willpower, no strength to get to my feet and fight my way out of the woods. I knew I was going to die, and the worst part was that the plants were going to continue to grow and cover me so that no one would ever find me. They’d look and look and even dogs wouldn’t be able to catch my scent as I lay dead, putrefying on my own.