by Nancy Barone
But then, a sudden instinct, a burst of energy from within, gave me the strength to fight back and get up. And I knew that the moment I was on my feet again, I could fight the vegetation and be back on my way, scarred and afraid, but alive. Which was all that counted.
‘Cheer up, Nina,’ Luke said over breakfast the next morning. ‘You’re a free woman now – Emma didn’t mean all those nasty things she said, I’m sure.’
‘Oh, you don’t know Emma,’ I countered. ‘When Emma’s mad, she’s mad.’
‘Do you want to tell me what it was about? Me?’
‘You? No.’ But in a way, I guess it was. ‘She and Jack were my two best friends besides Alice, and now she’s mad at me and Jack…’ I swallowed. ‘Jack is moving away.’
‘Really? What’s happening to Crooked Hill, then?’
I shrugged. ‘Dunno… but I’ll never see either of them again.’
He chuckled. ‘I think you’re exaggerating. If they really love you, you’ll see them again. Now come on. I’ve got a surprise for you.’
‘Sorry, but I’m not in the mood for surprises.’
He looked at me. ‘Oh, come on, sweets. We’ve got an invitation to a really posh party. I’ve already asked Deirdre to babysit, and if the Versace dress I got you doesn’t cheer you up, nothing will.’
Cheer me up? I had lost my two best friends, and I was supposed to smile?
‘Luke, I’m really not up for a party. You go.’
‘Uh-uh. If you don’t go, I don’t go.’
I sighed. ‘How do you even know my size?’
He turned to look at me as if to say Get real. ‘Now get going. The party’s at three.’
‘So early?’
‘It’s a black and white charity ball,’ he said. ‘I want you to look fabulous. Hair, make-up. Everything.’
Fabulous? Oh, goody. Just the way I was feeling.
‘Chop chop, the clock is ticking,’ he said, clapping his hands. I didn’t like him when he got bossy like this.
I groaned and got to my feet. ‘I’m going, I’m going.’
Upstairs, I stared at the black dream of organza. It must have cost a fortune. When had he had it delivered? I slipped out of my clothes and tried it on. It fit like a glove. Luke really did have a good eye, in every way.
I threw myself in and out of the shower and in twenty minutes I was finishing my make-up while sticking my tongue out at myself in the mirror. I was not my favourite person at the moment.
Luke called up the stairs. ‘You ready, Nina? It’s time to go.’
I stared again at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like the miserable cat from Breakfast at Tiffany’s when Holly Golightly abandons him in the rain. The last thing I needed was to attend a party and pretend I was happy.
Already anticipating the moment I’d come back through the door and slip back into my jeans I gathered my skirts, checked my boobs were inside the scanty bodice, and waved my reflection goodbye.
‘I need to call another babysitter to be here when Deirdre drops the kids off,’ I said once we were in the car. ‘I can’t expect her to stay too long. She’ll be wanting to get home and cook Alf’s dinner.’
‘Good idea,’ Luke agreed as the car rounded the bend, Saint Piran’s church coming into view at the top of the hill that dominate the village and countryside. Today it was festooned for a wedding celebration.
‘Why are we here?’ I asked. ‘Didn’t you say we were going to an important party?’
‘I did,’ he said, pulling me out of the car. ‘But first, a little detour.’
There were white calla lilies in pots on each tread leading to the open front door of the church, everywhere and bows on benches and practically everyone I knew was there, including Alf and the Ice Cream Ladies, including Deirdre. What about my children? Wasn’t she supposed to be with them?
‘Who’s getting married?’ I asked, but Luke just smiled.
‘Someone very important. You’ll see.’
And then, I saw her. Emma, coming towards me in a dream of pearl grey silk. She was radiant, absolutely stunning and laughing with the guests. She was getting married! Here, today, in this fantastic setting, and hadn’t bothered to invite me. Granted, I hadn’t been around lately, but to completely bypass me like this? Did our friendship really mean nothing to her anymore? If so, it was really the end of an era. And where was Jack? Why wasn’t the groom there? Shouldn’t he precede the bride?
I stepped towards her, feeling myself going. She may not have wanted to talk to me, but I still loved her. ‘Hi…’
She turned to me, still smiling. ‘Hey…’ she whispered, hugging me, her eyes moist.
‘I’m sorry we quarrelled, Em. I’m so, so sorry. You are my BFF on this whole earth and I never want to quarrel with you again.’
‘Ditto,’ she said, dabbing at her eyes.
‘See, I told you they’d be friends again!’ Deirdre cried to everyone, clutching her handkerchief.
‘Where’s the uh, lucky man?’ I asked. I couldn’t see him anywhere.
‘Here he is,’ came Luke’s voice at my side, and to my shock, he bent down on one knee in his Brioni suit and proffered me a Tiffany ring box. I knew that it was Tiffany because I’d seen it on TV and in the movies a thousand times.
‘What… Luke?’
‘Marry me, Nina! Marry me now!’
40
Breakfast At Tiffany’s
I swallowed, looking around for any indications of a Candid Camera crew. There were none.
He was serious, and so, apparently, was the entire village who had dressed up for a wedding. Our wedding.
‘What? You want to marry me? Now…?’ I croaked. ‘Here?’
He took my hands. ‘Yes, Nina. Here. Now.’
I was aware of everyone watching me, and caught sight of, oh my goodness, Chloe with Jessica and Chanel, all decked out in pastel colours. They were all so beautiful! Were they… my bridesmaids? And Ben, bearing a ring cushion? It was all too much!
‘But I only got my divorce papers yesterday…’ I mumbled.
Luke nodded. ‘Yes, well, I gave Phil a little incentive, and we were all on stand-by for the minute the papers arrived. The whole village was waiting for this moment, Nina!’
The whole village had been keeping this secret from me, including my best friends? And Alf, and my Ice Cream Ladies? And even my own children? Had they all gone mad?
‘But… but, I can’t marry you just like that, Luke,’ I whispered.
‘Why not, Nina? I love you and you love me, right?’
‘But… but… I don’t even have a wedding dress…’ I stammered. You’d think I’d come up with something better than that, right?
‘No problem,’ he said. ‘Emma’s got one for you, haven’t you, Emma?’
I turned to her. ‘What? Emma…?’
‘Say hi to your personal wedding planner,’ Luke said. ‘She thought of everything – the invitations, and the wedding reception. And—’ he raised his eyebrows repeatedly ‘—even the honeymoon. Surprised?’
‘Gobsmacked is more like it.’ I stared at her, expecting some help, but there was none. ‘Seriously? What were you thinking, Emma?’
The whole mood suddenly changed from festive to hushed. By now everyone’s eyes were trained on us, as if watching some Hollywood romcom that I, incidentally had had no part in writing.
‘I was thinking that was what you wanted,’ Emma said. ‘A fairy-tale wedding.’ She took my hand solemnly while swallowing and darting her eyes to Luke. ‘But now I’m begging you not to go ahead with it. Don’t marry Luke.’
Luke’s mouth fell open. ‘Emma, what the fuck…?’
‘Language, my son,’ Father Briarley chided as he approached us.
Emma’s face was contrite and pleading. ‘Sorry, mate,’ she said. ‘Turns out I made a mistake.’ And then suddenly, without a word, she dragged me inside the church.
‘What the hell is going on here?’ I hissed, my voice echoing. ‘And how wa
s it possible for you to organise a wedding in the three weeks Luke’s been back? And why not warn me? And now you’re asking me to not marry him after all this?’
She huffed. ‘Luke hired me a few months ago, on condition that I wouldn’t tell you.’
I couldn’t believe my ears. ‘Months? He was so sure I’d say yes that he actually hired you to organise my wedding before he even proposed?’
‘He was sure you would say yes. We all were. But now I’m begging you, Nina. Don’t! I don’t care about my bloody commission! Jack is more important!’
Good God, had she found out about our kiss? Was that why she had been distant all this time?
Tears welled into my eyes. ‘I’m sorry,’ I sobbed. ‘It was all my fault. I know the three of us had agreed to be friends forever, but it just happened. Give him a chance.’
Her jaw dropped. ‘What happened?’
‘I know, blame me. We kissed, and it was horrible. Not the kiss, I mean, which was actually the best I’ve ever had – lucky you – but the fact that we kissed is horrible, because we betrayed you! But it just happened, Em! And it will never ever happen again. I promise you. Please forgive him…’
‘Oh, my bloody God!’ she cried. ‘You think that Jack and I… Are you crazy? What’s the matter with you?’
I stared at her. ‘You and Jack are not… he’s not your secret bloke?’
Father Briarley appeared again at the end of the aisle in my line of vision, followed by the crowd that had migrated inside to listen in.
‘Ladies?’ he whispered. ‘So sorry to interrupt, but I have another wedding in Marazion in an hour…’
‘No, Jack’s not my secret bloke!’ Emma yelled, ignoring him. ‘I was shagging Paul Carruthers, you daft cow!’
Our audience snickered.
‘Paul Carr— one of the Northwood Dads?’
‘Yes!’ she said, slapping her thigh in frustration.
‘But Jack – I saw him come out of your house one morning.’
‘That’s because he was in pieces after Luke returned! And FYI, he slept on the settee!’
‘In pieces? I don’t—’
‘Ladies, please – it’s getting late,’ Father Briarley reminded us.
‘Just a minute more, Father, please?’ I begged before turning back to Em. ‘But Alf said you and he were an item…’
All of the faces that had been glued to us, now swung to Alf accusatorily.
‘He said that Jack was in love with you.’
‘What?’ Emma crowed. ‘Rubbish!’
‘That’s exactly what he said, “Jack’s sweet on Emma”!’
Alf looked around him in a panic, raising his hands. ‘Emma, Nina… what do I know? These girl names are all the same!’
Beverly, Deirdre’s sister, put her hands on her wide hips in a teapot stance. ‘Oh, Alf, how could you?’
‘So what, I got confused!’ he shouted. ‘Can’t a man at my age make a mistake?’
‘But why didn’t you tell me you were dating Paul?’ I cried.
‘Shagging – not dating!’
Someone behind me gasped, while someone else hissed ‘I told you so!’
‘What? What do you mean? Are you not an item, then?’
‘Not really. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you wouldn’t approve because basically, I’m the reason he and his wife split up. And Jack was furious with me. But he has been very supportive while I was ending it.’
‘Bloody hell, Em,’ I said. ‘You could have told me! I would have helped you, too! And all this time I thought you and Jack… First I thought that you and he had problems, and then I thought that you and he were seeing each other in secret, and that he didn’t care anymore and… What are you going to do now?’
Emma’s eyes popped open wide. ‘You’re standing in a church with a man waiting at the altar, and you’re asking me what I’m going to do?’
And then it dawned on me. ‘So all those times you asked for my opinion on your pop star’s wedding, it was actually mine…?’
‘Exactly!’ she cried. ‘It was killing me to keep it a secret!’
‘Ladies, please…’ Father Briarley insisted. ‘Tempus Fugit.’
‘In a minute!’ everyone roared at him, sending him scurrying down the aisle again, hopefully for good this time.
‘Nina, you can’t marry Luke. Jack’s in love with you!’
My hand shot to my heart. ‘Me?’
‘Yes, you, you muppet!’
Jack was in love with me? Real love?
‘But that night when you got drunk and started to kiss him, you said he had a very huge—’
‘Crush! He had a very huge crush! On you! And I’m sick and tired of hearing him bang on about it, so get your arse down to Crooked Hill, already!’
‘Nina!’ came a familiar voice, and we turned to see Alice scrabbling up the aisle in a cloud of yellow. ‘Sorry I’m late! Don’t listen to her! You have to marry Luke. He is so the guy for you!’
‘Shut up, Alice!’ Emma shouted. ‘Jack is the one for her! It’s always been him!’
‘Absolutely not!’ Alice proclaimed. ‘Luke O’Hara—’
‘Shut up, Alice!’ the crowd echoed.
I couldn’t believe my ears. How the heck did I get caught in the middle of all this?
Suddenly, exclamations and expletives erupted in the church, topped by Father Briarley’s voice. ‘Folks, please watch your language, this is holy ground! Take your swear words down to the Bobbin’ Buoy, for heaven’s sake!’
I turned to Luke who was hovering just outside the church doors, eyeing me every now and then anxiously. I left Emma and Alice and reached him. ‘Luke? Can we talk? In private?’ I whispered as the entire village of Penworth Ford watched the exchange, some oblivious to my predicament (at least I hoped my love life wasn’t completely public) some waiting for the bomb to explode.
Reading what was next, he reluctantly followed me outside to the church steps.
‘Are you dumping me for Jack? Are you giving up California and Hollywood, for an apple farmer?’
‘A Cornish apple farmer,’ Alf corrected him from just inside the door.
We turned around to see that everyone had followed us again, and were now all lined up in rows like the church choir, the little ones in front, and Alf and the Ice Cream Ladies, Annie and Old Nellie bringing up the rear, all hands clasped to their breasts in anticipation as if their very life depended on my answer.
You’d think my fellow villagers would have some more respect for our privacy, but then again, I was reborn here and they were fiercely protective of me. Plus, they always loved a bit of drama.
‘Folks, would you mind?’ I pleaded.
Beverly studied me, almost as if to read my mind. ‘Come on, then,’ she said, shooing everyone out the door again amidst “awhs” and “just a minutes”.
When the door closed behind them with a loud echo, I turned to Luke, overwhelmed by the sudden silence, and the enormity of what was happening to us.
‘Please, Luke, forgive me, but I can’t accept your marriage proposal.’
‘Oh, thank God,’ I heard Old Nellie from behind the door. ‘I was hoping she’d finally pull her head out of her arse and see the light!’
‘Nana!’ Annie half-hissed, half-wailed, but everyone burst into a hearty laughter. Feeling my ears burning, I ignored them. ‘You’re fantastic, Luke, and Jess – you’re both practically perfect and I truly, truly love you both! And I want you in our lives. But not in the way I thought. I’m so so sorry for not being the woman you really need in your life, Luke, but it’s better this way!’
‘You call that acceptable?’ he croaked.
My heart went out to him. I would have never in my life wanted to hurt Luke. ‘I’m terrible, I know, but you just sprung this on me, and I haven’t even had the time to think about it when only yesterday we were still talking about moving to California…’
‘So then think about it, Nina. I’m offering you another chance.’
/>
Another chance to grab at Hollywood. Who wouldn’t go for it?
But I shook my head. ‘I’m so sorry, Luke. I can’t ruin your life. Or anyone else’s…’
‘Mum! Mum!’ Chloe thundered, emerging from the church and pounding down the stone steps in a blue dress I’d never seen before. ‘You have got to come and see this!’
We exchanged glances and dashed out through the side door of the church where everyone had assembled, craning their necks, all looking at the other side of the valley, across the fields to where Crooked Hill lay. The farm he was abandoning to its own destiny.
And then I stopped, dead cold, as something rushed from my calves up my legs, settling into my stomach. Something between ice and fire. In any case, it mollified me and froze me to the spot and all I could do was stare out at Jack’s fields, unable to speak as my heart leapt into my mouth.
Alice followed my gaze and jumped. ‘Holy fuck!’
‘Nina, please!’ Father Briarley shrieked, grabbing the few hairs left on his head in desperation.
‘Yay!’ Emma cried, jumping up and down and almost tripping in her heels. ‘I knew he’d find the balls to do it!’
I could feel the tears sliding down my face as I fought to catch my breath.
‘Is he fuckin’ kiddin’ me?’ Luke wailed.
‘Holy shit!’ Ben said for the first time ever.
‘Ben, watch your language! We’re in church,’ Chloe said, much to my surprise.
‘What is it, Chloe?’ Jess asked. ‘What’s happening?’
There, in the square field, was Jack, on his tractor, ploughing, carving actual letters. I (heart) you Nina. And so I lost it. I couldn’t stop the silent tears, no matter how hard I shoved my fists into my eyes. I had to take a deep breath because the pain in my heart was so wrenching that I could barely stand. Jack really did love me after all. Jack, who had always been there for me, selfless and dependable, loved me.
Luke turned to me and his face softened. ‘Bloody hell, Nina,’ he whispered as he caressed my wet cheeks. ‘I knew I had a rival in him, and that you both had chemistry, but this? There’s just no contest. So just go to him already.’
‘What?’ I wiped my eyes with my indexes and they came away black and runny. I didn’t know I was supposed to wear waterproof mascara today.
