I returned my attention to him. “Watch what you say. People can misinterpret it.”
“There’s nuthin’ to misinterpret.” He removed a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up. “I meant it how it sounded. Do you know what they do to people like you in prison?”
“You’ve come to the wrong conclusion about me,” I said, willing myself not to shake, because somehow he knew, somehow he’d come to the right conclusion about me and Dante.
“Oh, no, I know exactly what kind of woman you are.” He slipped his lighter back into his pocket and took a puff of his cigarette, blowing smoke in my face.
I waved at the air, dispelling it. “Please leave.”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere until I’m finished. And I’ll answer my question for you. Paedos get the shit beat outta them in prison.”
“I’m not a—”
“Don’t bother lying to me, I know what you are.” His large lips curled up into a cruel smile. “By the way, I’ve taken part in a paedo bashing once, enjoyed it immensely. That li’l weasel crumpled under my fists. You people aren’t so tough when you’re up against adults, are ya?” He took another puff of his cigarette, his eyes wandering down me. “But a woman paedo... I wouldn’t bash you.” He bit his bottom lip. “I’d give you back exactly what you dealt out.” His gaze landed on my crotch. “I’d show you what a man feels like.” His eyes rose back to my face. “Not a boy.”
My heartrate picked up dramatically, his threat of rape loosening my tongue. “I didn’t do what you think—”
“Not think,” he cut me off, “know.”
“I’m telling you the truth. I only went to Dante’s house to help him—”
“Out of his pants.” He sneered at me. “God, you’re sick.”
“I’m telling you—”
“And I’m tellin’ you—” he jabbed a finger at me “—that I don’t believe you, so quit making excuses for what you did, or who you did. By the way, you haven’t asked how I know.”
“You’re assuming. Wrongly.”
“There’s no assumption here. You acted skittish as fuck when I saw you. I could’ve easily passed that off as you bein’ scared of me. I do freak women out, but the smell of pot in your hair.” He indicated to it with his cigarette. “Now, that bugged me, cos Dante’s father only lets the li’l bugger smoke it in his room, which meant you went in there.”
“Only to talk him into coming out,” I replied, going with as much truth as possible. “Dante got upset and ran in there after I arrived.”
He sneered at me. “You’re so good with explaining everything away, aren’t cha?”
“Because it’s the truth. I was there purely to talk Dante into returning to school, something his father asked me to do.”
“Then why did you go along with my Jehovah assumption?”
I clenched my hands. “I already explained that. I was tired and just wanted to get home, and yes, you did scare me. I also wasn’t going to explain something that doesn’t concern you.”
“Everything ’bout the Ratas concerns me. We’re whānau, which means family.”
“I know what it means, and again, I was only there on Mr. Rata’s wishes.”
“Then why did Dante bite my head off when I said I wanted to fuck you?”
“I’m his teacher. Of course he’ll defend me.”
He made a derisive sound. “Doubt it. Dante’s a disrespectful li’l bastard. I expected him to say he wanted to fuck you too, joking ’bout it. But what I didn’t expect, was him jumping down my throat. It smacked of a guy defendin’ his woman.”
I started shaking. “He has a crush on me, that’s all.”
“Stop lying,” he spat.
“I’m not!”
He glared at me. “If you were Pinocchio your nose would be longer than my massive woody.”
“Just leave,” I hissed, now shaking uncontrollably.
“You can’t tell me what to do, bitch. I’m not some boy you can order around. Is that why you like ’em so young? They do what you want?”
“It’s not like that.”
“I bet it is. Do you like pretending your students are naughty li’l boys who need a spanking?”
“No,” I ground out, forcing myself not to blurt out anything that could garner more attention. At least he was keeping his voice down, low enough for me to hear alone. Still, what he was saying... “You’re disgusting.”
He sniffed derisively. “Oh, I’m not the disgusting one ’ere. You’re the one who lets boys play hide the dick in you.”
“I told you, it’s not like that—”
“Is that what you tell yourself to make you feel better?”
“I haven’t had sex with him,” I said, keeping my voice even lower than his.
“I bet you have. Did Dante smoke some pot after he fucked you? Is that why your hair smelt of it?”
“No!”
“You paedos are all liars, plus you lot know how to sniff out easy prey—until you become the prey.”
Having heard enough, I went to step around him. He mirrored me again, stopping me from leaving. “Move!”
He shook his head. “Am I upsetting you with the truth?”
“It’s not true.”
He sneered at me. “You lying cunt. You took advantage of a damaged boy just to get off. You make me sick.” He spat at my feet, causing me to jump back.
“I didn’t take advantage of him,” I said, glancing around, double-checking that no one was within earshot. The boys were still the only ones looking our way, but again, weren’t close enough to hear what we were saying. “I was helping Dante, nothing more. And he’s not damaged.”
“He definitely is. He’s a looney tune like his dad.”
“Don’t insult him!”
“I’m not. Just cos I don’t use PC words doesn’t mean it’s not true, or that I don’t care for the boy and his dad. I love those bastards and will do anything to protect them. You hear me?” He took a drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke in my face again.
I waved it away. “Stop it!”
He pointed the cigarette at me. “No, bitch, you stop it, cos I won’t stand around and do nuthin’ while you continue to kiddie-fiddle Dante.”
“Don’t make out like he’s a small child,” I hissed. “He’s bigger than me. If I didn’t know his age, I would’ve thought he was knocking on twenty.”
“So, you did fuck him.”
“No!”
“Why do you persist in lying? I can read you like a Hustler mag. And despite what Dante looks like, he’s still got the mind of a boy, one who’s been severely traumatised. If Jasper fucked you, I could’ve overlooked that, maybe even patted him on the back and said well done, son, but not Dante. He ain’t right in the head. I’ve seen him lose it after some bitch used him. He totally went berko, tore his room up and had to be physically restrained to stop him from harming himself. He got two weeks in the psych ward all cos some chick couldn’t keep her legs closed around him. It broke his father’s heart. And you—” he pointed at me “—are capable of doin’ worse to him. You paedos use boys until they look too old, then throw them away like used condoms. I won’t let you do that to Dante. So break it off with him, or I might pay you a visit and do a bit of paedo-fiddling myself.” He leaned his face down to mine, causing me to shrink back. “I’ll come over when your husband ain’t home. Or maybe I’ll get a few of my mates and have a wee gangbang with you. Nuthin’ like shooting my load over a dirty bitch.” Not taking his eyes off me, he stuck his tongue out and stubbed his cigarette out on it, then flicked the stub at me. “I bet you’re a screamer. I like screamers. Gets me rock hard.” He grabbed his crotch. “If you fuck that boy again, be prepared to scream your lungs out, cos I will have you.”
“Y-you’ll go to-to prison if you touch me.”
“Only if you talk. Then I’ll talk. And we’ll both end up behind bars. I’ll be fine, been in jail before, know the deal, but you... Do you really want people knowing you’re
a kiddie-fiddler?”
“Stop saying that!”
“I will—as long as you stay away from the boy. I’ll also make sure his father doesn’t find out what you did, cos unlike me, he doesn’t think, he reacts, and I don’t want him ending up in the slammer cos of you.”
“I can’t avoid Dante, he’s in my class.”
“You truly are blonde. I meant outside of class.”
I set my jaw.
“Understand?”
I nodded.
“Good wee paedo.” He patted my cheek, causing me to jerk my head away from his touch.
He blew me a kiss, then headed back to his car, squeezing behind the wheel. He reversed out of the driveway, leaving me standing in the same spot, trembling uncontrollably.
The kids who’d been watching him hollered at Jasper’s father to rev his car. He did, getting excited yells in response, the boys oblivious to the rape threat the man had just given me. He planted his foot on the accelerator and took off, his car shooting forward, getting more excited yells from the boys.
I remained where I was for a few more minutes, unable to move even if I wanted to, what had happened too much for me to deal with. A car door slammed, jolting me out of my frozen state of terror. Not seeing me, Lindy McNee ran for the main building like a loping gazelle, just without the grace, the tall emo girl from the juvie class all legs.
Still shaking, I turned back to my car, ready to jump back in, but instead I tilted my head up, squinting at the intense bright blue New Zealand sky. I inhaled and exhaled, willing myself to calm down, to get a hold of myself. I had classes to teach, a whole day planned out, one I couldn’t just wag like a school kid who wanted to skive off. Plus, I needed to talk to Dante, so I could tell him about what Jasper’s father had said.
Clenching my keys tighter, I forced myself forward, walking across the grass and into the main building, heading for my first lesson in the library. I came to a stop partway down the corridor, the figure standing outside my classroom grabbing my full attention. Dante was leaning against the wall next to my door, with his head hanging down, staring at the floor. I hadn’t expected to see him this morning, his class not until after lunch. But seeing him now...
I resumed walking, all the students swarming the corridor disappearing into nothing, my sole focus on Dante. He looked up as I neared him, straightening in response. He was tidy for once, his black pants and grey shirt appearing to have been ironed. His hair was also brushed back, or maybe he’d just worried his fingers through his black mop, like he was doing now.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked, looking at me almost pleadingly.
I nodded and indicated to my classroom, unable to stop my hand from shaking, the run in with Mr. Rakete still affecting me badly. Dante looked down at my hand, a frown crinkling his normally smooth brow. But instead of pointing it out, he headed through the doorway. I followed him inside the classroom, closing the door behind me. Since my first lesson was in the library again, the room was empty. Though, students walked past the window outside, not giving us the privacy we needed.
Dante turned to me. “I—”
I cut him off. “We’ll talk in my office,” I said, my words coming out a bit harsher than intended, Jasper’s father having put me on edge.
Dante frowned. “You shouldn’t be pissed off at me for fucking Phelia, we—”
“My office!” I snapped, this time on purpose, his comment angering me. I’d put my neck on the line for him, while he went off, fucking other girls without a second thought to how I’d feel about it.
He didn’t move. Instead, he went to open his mouth again, probably to make an excuse for what he’d done.
“Now,” I bit out.
His expression hardened, but instead of answering back, he spun around and stormed towards my office, shoving the door so hard it hit the wall. I followed him in, preparing to be yelled at, Dante’s expression no longer apologetic.
He spun around on me. “I’m not a small kid you can scold! Treat me like an equal. It’s the least you can do after we fucked.”
I quickly shut the door and moved up to him. “Keep your voice down,” I hissed, placing a hand over his mouth.
He wrenched his head away from me. “No. What I did with Phelia happened before our relationship started.”
I blinked, the realisation he thought we were in a relationship hitting me. But then again, I had thought it too, or on the crest of it, my feelings for him growing far too fast.
He continued, “And it’s hypocritical of you to lecture me ’bout Phelia when you’re still with your husband.”
“I—”
He cut me off, “No! Lemme finish before you push me away over someone I don’t even fuckin’ care ’bout. I couldn’t give a toss if I never saw Phelia again, but I would for you. I wanna see you. I wanna be with you. No one else.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it, his words stunning me into silence.
He closed his eyes for a moment, then reopened them, his upset gaze moving away from me, focusing on anything but my face. “You don’t want the same, do you?”
“I—”
He cut me off again, “I can’t do this, I just can’t.” He went to move around me, looking like he thought I’d rejected him.
I rushed in front of him, stopping him from leaving the room. “You’re not giving me a chance to speak.”
His hurt gaze went to me. “Cos you’re gonna brush me off like all those other times. Fuck that shit, I’m outta ’ere.”
I blocked him again. “No! Let me speak!”
He went still. “Then spit it out!”
“I didn’t pull you in here just to push you away. Yes, I’m mad about what you did with Phelia, but only because I care about you. I wish I didn’t. It would be so much easier if what we have was purely physical, but it isn’t, and no matter what I do, I can’t change that. You’ve gotten under my skin, Dante, totally and utterly.” I took in a deep breath, knowing I was opening myself up to heartbreak. Because this boy would break me. It might not happen today, but it would happen, Jasper’s father proving just how doomed our relationship was. But I couldn’t stop myself, Dante’s upset expression getting to me. Everything about him getting to me.
I continued, “Even though I shouldn’t, I want to be with you too. I really do care about you.”
A smile pulled at his lips.
I pressed on. “But what I feel isn’t the issue.”
The smile dropped, worry once again clouding his expression. “I promise I won’t do Phelia again. Ever.”
“I know.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“Jasper’s father.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “What about him?”
“He...” I swallowed. “He threatened to have me gang raped if I didn’t stop seeing you.”
Dante jerked his head back, his face shocked. “What?”
I wrapped my arms around myself, unable to stop the tremble running through me. “He blocked my car in and said that if I didn’t stop seeing you, he would come over to my house with some of his mates when my husband’s out.”
Fear passed over his features. “Did he say anything ’bout my dad? Does he know?”
I shook my head. “He said he wouldn’t tell him.”
Dante exhaled loudly, his expression relieved. “I’ll talk to Hemi, get him to back off.”
I shook my head vigorously. “No, don’t. He’ll know I’ve spoken to you.”
“I can’t let this slide.”
“But he’ll come after me.”
“No he won’t. He’s just tryna scare ya, cos there’s no way he’d attack you. He wouldn’t risk gettin’ thrown into jail for me.”
“He would, he even said so. And I believe him. You didn’t see how he was looking at me.” The image of Jasper’s father returned. The way he’d stood over me, the way his eyes had consumed my body, anger simmering beneath it all. He hadn’t made idle threats. He was willing to hurt me. That mu
ch I knew.
I continued, “And he knows I wouldn’t go to the police if he did anything. I’d be prosecuted for what I’ve done with you. If he goes down, he’ll drag me with him.”
Dante’s face hardened. “He won’t go near you again. I have sumpthin’ on him that’ll make my dad go ballistic, way more than bein’ with you. There’s no way Hemi will risk lettin’ this get out.”
A slice of hope filtered in. “What is it?”
“Sumpthin’ you don’t needa know ’bout. Just believe me when I say, he won’t be bugging you anymore if he wants this person to remain safe. Cos my dad would kill the bitch, wouldn’t even think twice ’bout it.”
Concern rushed through me. “If you threaten someone he loves, he could hurt you.”
Dante shook his head. “He won’t lay a finger on me, my dad would pulverise him if he did. Hemi ain’t that stupid, plus he loves my dad like a bro. I think he even cares ’bout me and I’m a right bastard to him. And don’t feel sorry for this person he knows.” He sneered. “She deserves a lot more than bein’ threatened.”
“You sure it’ll work?”
“One hundred percent.” He placed his hands on my hips. “So, don’t worry ’bout it. I’ll make sure you’re safe, babe.” He leaned forward to kiss me.
I stepped away from him, getting a scowl in return.
“Why the fuck did’ja do that for?” he snapped. “I said I’d protect you.”
I grimaced. “He scared me.”
“I know, and, again, I’ll sort it out for you.”
I shook my head. “You don’t get it. Seeing the disgust on his face, it made me...” I scrubbed a hand down my face. “It made me feel repulsive, like I was the lowest of the low. He made me feel like a paedophile.”
Shattered Poetry (Broken Lives #2) Page 21
