“Lucy, can you put your back pack away please?” I ask as I hold it out to her.
“Can I go shower, ‘cause I had track today and I sweated really bad.”
“Okay, don’t take too long. Do you want me to order pizza in or do you want to go there and have dinner?”
“Go there please,” Lucy says as she walks to her room with her backpack in her hand.
“I like her quite a lot,” Stella says as she saunters to me.
“I like you quite a lot.”
“And there’s nothing not to like, now I need you to kiss me.”
Fucking gladly.
I pounce on her the moment the words pass her lips and without stopping I slide my hand behind her neck and to the base of her hair as I bring her head to me and my other hand drops to her hip.
But I don’t go for her mouth, instead I glide my nose over her throat and just smell the tantalizing Stella scent. I dart my tongue out and dip it into the hollow of her neck not allowing my lips to contact her inflamed skin, in fear that I won’t be able to stop with just a kiss.
“Kiss me,” she huskily moans as her own hands grip the back of my head and pull me further into her.
I break away from her neck and look into Stella’s aroused green orbs, the color’s almost taken over with black and lust but a tiny amount is still visible coating the dilated pupil.
Without a moment’s hesitation I nip her bottom lip between my teeth and pull on it, hard. Stella lets out a low rumble from her chest as she starts pushing me and we end up against the wall.
“Tell me what you want,” Stella says as she entwines our fingers and bites my nipple through my shirt.
“I want you.”
“That’s not an answer.” She moves to the other nipple and bites that one harder. It’s damn painful but I want more.
“I want you to hurt me.” The pain’s exquisite and wrong but so fucking right. Stella bites my nipple again and this time the pain shoots straight through my body and causes me to straighten my back and hold my breath.
Yes.
The dark demons scream at me telling me he used to do these things to me and I hated when he made me hurt so much that I’d cry.
“Harder,” I growl.
Stella lifts my shirt and bites my chest with force causing a sharp pain, making me flinch in agony. Her bite is quickly replaced with her mouth sucking on the same spot and that’s when the pleasure’s chased the pain away.
“Come here and let me fuck your mouth, boy.”
The angry beasts are yelling at me and trying to force themselves to be heard, they’re fighting because they want to come to the surface.
Stella bites me again and the pain’s almost unbearable as I squint my eyes closed and fight that one damn lonely fucking stupid ass tear from leaving my eye.
Her tongue licks the spot she bit and she gently tweaks the other nipple with her fingers.
The demons return to hiding as bliss over takes my body again.
Stella’s lips come to mine and she forces her tongue into my mouth, I give her control and let her dominate and explore.
She pulls away from me and I instantly crave her body and her warmth. But when I look at her she’s smiling and brings her hand up to caress my face.
“I’m proud of you, Ryan. You fought the evil inside and sent them back to where they came from. With time you’ll no longer associate pain with your past. You’ll anticipate the enjoyment and satisfaction of the pleasure that will follow.”
How did she know the storm that was taking place inside my head?
“You knew?”
“Your body told me. The way you held your breath and the noises that were coming from you were sounds of a broken man going through pain, not expecting the high that would follow. The way your lips tightened and pursed together and your eyebrows knitted as one, told me you were trying to put out the intense and destructive flames.”
Looking at Stella I do the only thing I can, I embrace her and bury my head in her hair. Her aroma even follows through to her long tresses as the subtle vanilla calms me.
“I never realized just how much I need you until this moment,” I say as I hold her tight to me.
“We’re…”
“Dad?” We both look over to see Lucy standing just inside the family room. With a towel wrapped around her hair like a turban and dressed in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. “What’s going on?” she asks standing there with a huge smile taking residence on the bottom half of her angelic face.
Chapter 24
“Well it’s kind of like this,” I start as I hold Stella closer to me.
“You two are boyfriend and girlfriend, right?” Lucy asks as she walks to us.
“We certainly are.” Stella beams to Lucy as she gives me a small sideways glance.
We are?
“I knew it. Can we go now, ‘cause I’m hungry,” Lucy says as she unwraps the towel from her hair.
“Sure, I just need to get changed, give me a minute.” I go into my room and change into jeans and a button up shirt. When I go back to my girls, Lucy’s combing her hair as they’re talking about the movie and this Channing guy.
“He’s really cute,” Lucy says.
“Oh I know. I really liked him in White House Down.”
“I loved him in Step Up. Did you know the girl in Step Up is actually his wife in real life?”
“You ladies ready to go?” I ask ending this conversation about Charlie Chaplin, or whatever his name is.
“Yep,” they both answer in unison.
On the way to Pizza Hut, I zone out to the conversation that my girls are having. I hear the odd ‘he’s so cute’ and ‘I love the way he talks’ but for the rest of it I try and not listen.
When we get to Pizza Hut, I run around to the other side of the car and open the door for both my girls. Stella takes my hand in hers as we walk into the pizzeria.
“Hi, table for three please,” I say to the waiter ready to seat us.
“This way please.” He leads us to the back of the restaurant where we’re seated at a booth.
When we sit down he places the large pizza menu in front of us and leaves.
“Dad, how long have you and Stella been together?”
Shit, I wasn’t expecting this from her.
“About a week.” Stella sit’s opposite me with Lucy beside me on the left.
“Do you love each other?” Is it really hot in here?
“We like each other a lot, Lani,” I answer.
“Are you two gonna get married?”
Really? Now you decide to ask these questions in Stella’s presence?
“I don’t know what the future will hold for us. We’ll see what happens over time.”
“Well, Elizabeth at school says you don’t have to be married to have babies.”
Just stop talking please, Lucy.
I look at Stella and she’s sitting with a bemused look as I squirm in my seat with the things that Lucy’s asking.
“And Melissa says you don’t have to have a mom and a dad, actually she has two moms. Dad, if you and Stella get married does that mean I’ll have two moms?”
I’m sweating and my damn heart’s beating out of my chest ready to take off. I can feel beads of sweat starting to gather at the nape of my neck and suddenly my throat’s completely parched.
“Are you ready to order?” The waiter’s back at just the right moment, saving me from hyperventilating in front of my daughter.
“Do you ladies know what you want?” I ask them but really I’m deflecting from the questions Lucy was rapidly and innocently firing at me.
“I want stuffed crust.”
“I’m fine with that, too,” Stella adds.
“Cheese?” I ask them both?
“Pepperoni,” the both say together.
“You heard the ladies, and tap water please.”
The waiter takes the pizza menu away and goes to put our order in for dinner.
“I need t
o go to the bathroom,” Lucy says.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I ask.
“No it’s okay. I’ll be back in a moment.”
I watch as Lucy walks down the long corridor and enters the female bathroom.
“I’m so sorry about that.”
“You mean when Lucy was making you sweat by asking you all those questions?” Stella says as the waiter sets three glasses down and a tall jug of iced water.
“I didn’t know what to say to her.”
“No lies, ever. Not to me, not to Lucy and not to yourself.”
“I know.” I pause for a moment, “Actually there’s something I’ve been thinking and I wanted to talk to you about it.”
“What’s that?” Stella takes a sip of her water.
“I’ve got two years left in the army but I’ve been considering taking early retirement and going to study at university.”
“And what is it you want to study?”
“I’ve been thinking that I want to study, well the technical name for it is, Master of Social Work.”
“You want to get into psychology?” She swirls the water around in her cheap plastic tumbler.
Lucy comes back and silently slides in next to Stella.
“Not quite, I want to help kids that have come from an abused background.”
“What’s abused mean, Dad?” Lucy asks as she reaches for her tumbler to pour some water into it.
“Abused is where someone either hits or says really horrible things to someone else that keeps going on for a while.”
“So like bullying?”
“Yeah, along the same lines as bullying but it can be worse.”
“Why do you want to help kids that have been abused then?” Lucy questions me.
“Because I think I can help boys and girls that have had problems in their life that they can’t turn to their parents for help.”
“Why can’t they ask their own mom’s and dad’s to help them?”
“Sometimes it’s their parents that are hurting them and the kids don’t know how to speak up. I want to learn how to help so kids can come to me for support.”
“I don’t get it, Dad.” Lucy says looking at me with such honesty and vulnerability.
“What is it that you don’t get?”
“Why do you want to help kids? Do you know someone that needs help?”
My shoulders immediately tighten but I resign to the fact that one day, in the very near future, I’ll have to tell Lucy about what happened to me.
“I do, Lucy. But in order for me to help that little boy find his way, I need to understand him better. And to do that, I need to educate myself. And this education could save a child’s life.”
“Okay, well I’m hungry I hope the pizza comes soon.” Lucy easily switches topics without even realizing.
Stella remains quiet as I sit and look at my glass of water.
I need to save myself before I can help anyone else and I really believe the tidal waves of self-hatred may finally ease.
Yes, this is my next step and future path to salvation.
Lost in thought I feel something tap me on my calf which immediately snaps me out of the all-consuming thoughts I’m having.
I look up and Stella winks at me as she takes a bite of her slice of pizza that’s been placed in front of us.
My attention is solely on her foot running the length of my calf, and I’m suddenly consumed with a need to slide under the table and lick her sweet and tasty pussy.
“I think that’s a terrific idea, Ryan. Especially if you can help that child you mentioned. I’m sure he’d be grateful for you to understand what’s going on in his head without him needing the words to communicate it,” Stella says between bites not even being aware of the impact she has on me.
I take a piece of pizza and bite into it, not really paying attention to the taste or even the texture because I’m caught in a concoction of arousal for Stella and uncertainty with excitement to finally start living.
“How was track today?” I ask trying to assimilate back into the present and not worry about anything else.
“I beat all the girls and Macy Parker said I cheated, but she only said that because I won and most times she wins. She even said to her friends to call me a cheater, but Melissa told her to get lost. She actually said that to Macy and you know what Macy did?” She looks between Stella and myself.
“No,” I answer for both of us.
“Macy did nothing. I mean nothing at all, Dad. She just huffed and walked away. Usually she says something horrible and tries to make other kids cry. But this time, Melissa must’ve shocked her ‘cause she didn’t say a peep.”
“Does this Macy girl usually cause you problems?”
“Not me because I just stay away from her, but she’s nasty to other kids all the time. She even hit a girl once because they were fighting over something dumb, and the other girl told Macy that she’s ugly. Macy started screaming at her and hitting her saying that her daddy says she’s his pretty girl. She was so upset, but I usually stay away from her because she can be really mean.”
My eyes immediately fly to Stella and she nods her head in the smallest most discreet ways.
To me it sounds like Macy has her own demons attacking her. But her evil is close to her, in the form of her father.
“Is Macy in your class, Lucy?” Stella casually asks.
“Yeah but I don’t sit with her. She sits in the back with her friends and she’s always disrupting the class. I’ve just learned to ignore her now.”
“Has she ever asked you to go over to her house?” Stella asks.
“Just once at the end of the day, she was walking in front of me and went to get in the car with her dad, and she came over and said she wanted to be friends and if I wanted to go to her house. But I don’t like her, so I said I was busy.”
Stella and I again exchange glances and this time I’m certain he was trying to groom my daughter for his own perverted sexual fantasy.
Mason said he’ll pick Lucy up from school when he next comes back, I think I’ll join him and find this predator.
“I’m finished can we go to the movie now?”
“You done, Stella?” I ask her as I pick up the check to go pay for it.
“Sure am. Come on, Lucy, let’s go check out Channing.” Stella says as Lucy takes my hand and walks next to her.
The cinema’s on the same street and down half a block, so the three of us walk together heading to see some chick flick when Stella side steps and comes to be on the other side of me.
“I’ve got a contact with Child Protection Services, I’ll call him when I get home tonight. Can you text me the school name please?” she whispers so Lucy can’t hear us.
“I was planning on taking Mason down there, so you don’t need to worry about Child Protection Services.”
Stella abruptly stops walking which in turn causes both Lucy and I to stop.
“Listen here, this will be handled by the law and not by two vigilantes that think they know best. Am I understood?”
“If he’s tampering with her, then he deserves to be punished,” I angrily say through my clenched jaw.
“You’re absolutely right and I don’t disagree with you. That’s if he’s interfering with her. What if he’s not? You don’t know the entire back story, yes it sounds like he is which is why I have a duty of care to report it. But you aren’t to go near him.”
“But…”
“There’s no but. We live in a country where we abide by presumption of innocence not presumption of guilt. This will go through the proper channels and be handled by the authorities. Like I said, I know someone from Child Protection Services and he’s quite high up so I can get it looked into by Monday.”
“What are you two whispering about? We’re going to be late for the movie.”
I entwine Stella’s hand with mine and wrap my free arm around Lucy’s shoulders and lead my girls to the cinema.
“Sorr
y, we were just talking about something.”
“Well it looks like Stella’s angry at you. Are you angry at daddy?” she looks around me to ask Stella.
“How can I be angry at your dad? He loves you so much, so I can’t be mad at him.”
“Come on, Stella, let’s go get popcorn.” How quickly kids drift from one subject to the other without a care in the world, as we adults ponder and itemize every single spoken detail trying to stick together the pieces of the puzzle.
“Dad, this way.” Lucy tugs me up the stairs and into a cinema.
When we find our seats I sit between my two girls. As I watch them watch the movie, I can’t help but think I’d do anything to protect them both.
Their safety means more to me than anything else in the world.
I’d kill to protect my girls.
Chapter 25
“Hey, we’re leaving now, we won’t be too long.”
“Okay, see you soon, Ryan.” Joanna says then hangs up.
“Come on, Lani, we’ve got to go,” I call from the front door.
Lucy doesn’t answer but I hear her stomping down the hall to me. She looks agitated and angry with something.
“What’s wrong?”
“I really don’t want to go to Aunt Colleen’s birthday, I want to stay here and spend the day with you and Stella.”
“Mom said it was important to her to have you there, so you’re going.”
“I don’t want to,” she says as she stamps her foot and throws her backpack down.
“Give me a good reason and I’ll call your mom and tell her you’re staying here, but if the reason sucks then too bad, you’re going.”
“Because, I want to stay with you and Stella and do fun things. I don’t want to go to a stupid party with no games for kids.” Lucy crosses her arms in front of her and knits her eyebrows together, throwing what’s known as, a tantrum.
“If that’s the only reason then get your little tushy in the car and stop throwing a tantrum.” I point out the front door indicating the car.
“Fine,” Lucy says as she stomps out the door and goes and waits by the car.
When I unlock the car with the fob, she sinks in the seat and crosses her arms in a huff.
My phone rings with Stella’s ring tone and I smile knowing I’ll be hearing her smooth satin voice.
Yes, Master Page 16
