The first thing I notice is the smell, it might of only been three days but the place absolutely stinks of stale whiskey and man sweat. Looking at Max and Liam with a look of complete dread on my face I pull my t-shirt up over my nose to try and mask some of the smell and spot that the other two have done exactly the same. Turning away from the guys, I'm shocked at what I see. The apartment is a total shit tip, there are empty beer bottles everywhere, I can see at least four empty bottles of Jack lying around, there’s a smashed glass by the bar stools in the kitchen and there’s dirty clothes thrown all around the place, but out of all that I can’t see Connor.
Moving further into the apartment I go round and start opening windows to let some of the stink out, I'm just opening the last window when I hear Max shout.
“John, get your ass in here now.”
Judging from where his voice came from I'm guessing Max is in Connor’s built in studio, so making my way there I get this god awful dread feeling in my gut and I know whatever lies in that room isn’t going to be pretty and we’re going to be cleaning up a lot more than just a few beer bottles and smelly fucking clothes.
Trust gets you killed,
Love gets you hurt.
And being real,
Gets you hated.
Connor
Max is either in my apartment or I'm having one seriously fucked up dream, because I can hear the fuckers voice shouting to Johnny.
I shouldn’t of drank that last bottle of Jack that’s for sure. My heads banging in my skull, my brain demanding to be let free. After Jase came and dropped me off the one thing I knew would numb me completely, I made my way to my studio and attempted to write a song and the next thing I know I'm face planting the sofa I keep in here and I'm out for the count.
Now I'm wishing the noise I'm hearing would fuck off. Peeling one eye open I see Max looming over me with a finger pressed to my throat, probably checking for a pulse to make sure I'm not dead.
When he see’s I’ve opened my eyes and that I'm not actually dead he jumps back from shock.
“What the fuck dude?” I rasp out.
“I was seeing if you were alive you knob rot, you scared the shit out of me.” He tells me before he continues his mini rant. “And from what I can see I have every reason to believe you had drunk and god know’s what else yourself to death.”
Giving him a growl in response, I peel my dirty smelly body off the leather sofa I keep in here for late night sessions, once I'm in a sitting position my head feels like I have nails rattling around in it and my stomach feels like I've had pure acid thrown down my throat.
“Feeling rough are you fucker?” Lifting my head out of my hands I turn to see Johnny standing in the doorway. Flipping him my finger I go back to nursing my head in my hands.
“I'm not surprised he’s rough with all the empty bottles of Jack lying around this place along with this shit I've just found on the floor.” Max chirps up clearly sounding very pissed off with me and flinging the little plastic bag at Johnny so he can see what he’s found.
I know what he’s found and I can honestly say I didn’t touch the stuff, I passed out before I had the chance, but they don’t know that yet so they're going to think the worst and before my hungover brain has time to defend itself Johnny blows up like a bottle of pop in my face.
“What the actual fuck Connor, I know your fucked up right now but didn’t you learn fuck all in rehab?” When he’s finished giving me the third degree Liam comes to a sudden halt as he skids into the room and starts assessing the situation he’s walked into. When the penny finally drops and he see’s what’s in Johnny’s hand he flips his shit and then drops me in it even further.
“You fucking idiot… you told me you weren’t going to go there again and that you had told that loser where he could stick his drugs when you saw him in Austria?” Hurt lacing his voice because he thinks I lied to him.
“Hold on a goddamn freaking minute… that waster was in Austria?... And you actually fucking spoke to him?” I swear Johnny’s going to burst a blood vessel any minute with the anger that’s travelling through his entire body.
Knowing I'm in no fit state to answer anything right now I rise slowly from the sofa and head towards the door at the same time telling all three mother hens in my studio.
“I'm going for a shower, then I'm going to put fresh clothes on, once I've done all that I will tell you all what happened when I got off that plane.” Leaving them in the studio with their assumptions I head towards my bedroom where my master en-suite is and scrub away the hangover the best I can… it’s just a shame I can’t scrub Allie away that easy.
Twenty minutes later I'm showered and in fresh clothes, I no longer smell like I belong in a brewery.
Heading back to the lounge area of my apartment I notice the kitchen counters have been cleared of all the Jack bottles, there’s a full rubbish bag piled up against the front door and it smells a lot fresher and cleaner than when I headed to the studio and passed out.
Sitting in my kitchen island on the bar stools are the three stooges, all of them throwing daggers at my back as I reach up and get a glass to fill with water, after rummaging around in the draw to locate some painkillers for my pounding head. Once that’s taken care off I turn around folding my arms across my chest, giving the three sets of eyes staring at me my raised eyebrow, waiting for them to start shooting of questions at me but they shock the shit out of me by staying silent.
Taking in a deep breath I decide it’s just better if I tell them everything now before they think they have to ship me back off to rehab again.
Here goes nothing.
“For starters I didn’t touch that shit.” I can tell they believe me when I look them straight in the eye and see them instantly relax.
“Secondly, I got smashed, I know it wasn’t my brightest idea but if you knew what I was feeling in here.” I say as I bang my fist against my chest. “Then you would understand why I just wanted to feel numb, but you don’t so please just give me time to deal with all this shit.”
Standing up from his stool Johnny leans forward on his hands then looks at me.
“Why leave her there Con? You're supposed to love her. Aren't you?”
Gripping my hair with my hands so hard I swear I'm going to rip it out I tell him.
“I did it to protect her dude, I can’t have her in any danger and if she stays with me then that’s exactly what she’ll be in, all this shit happened because of me. She nearly died because of me.”
Jumping up from his stool Max slams his hands down on the kitchen Island before seething at me.
“What the fuck dude, have you heard yourself? You're talking total bollocks, she’s your girl. It doesn’t take a genius to work that out… yeah what’s happened is a total shitty thing I get that, but from what I've been told she doesn’t blame you. Fuck sake she's the one trying to call you. Does that not tell you summit? You two are better together than apart, because right now whoever this fucking weirdo is, is more than likely thinking they’ve won and they are winning right now because you walked away and left her… jeez you really are a dumbass sometimes you know.”
Wow… I never realised Max could be so deep when he wanted to with his feelings. I guess you do learn something new every day.
Next thing I know Liam has his penny’s worth by putting me on the spot a-fucking-gain when he chirps up.
“So what you going to do dickwad? Let this fucker win? Or are you going to stop feeling sorry for your dumbass self and go and bring your girl home… where she belongs.”
Well that was me told… and I know I've been a total knobhead but the guys are right, She needs to be protected and not just by any Tom, Dick or Harry, but by me.
Because she is and always will be mine.
I know I said I wouldn’t go running back to her with my tail between my legs but sometimes there are things that are worth swallowing your male pride for.
I never should have left her in the first place.
What have I done?
Don’t be afraid
To start over.
It’s a new
Chance to rebuild
What you want.
Allie
He just left.
He just walked out and left me here, lying in this damn hospital bed and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.
How can he do that to me? I thought he loved me?
“I'm sure he'll come back Al, he loves you and with everything that's happened the last few days his heads all over the place.” Karina says. She always sees the best in people.
Yet somehow I can’t see him coming back.
When he left I saw it in his eyes, his mind was made up, I'm not worth sticking around for and dealing with all the shit that being in a relationship with me entails.
I've even tried calling him countless of times and each call goes unanswered. He doesn't even want to speak to me. I slam my phone down on the bed after checking for the hundredth time to see if I've had a message or call. But as the same as always, nothing.
Taking my pissed off mood out on the one person I know I shouldn’t but yet I can’t seem to stop myself I bark at Karina.
“Why are you even still here? Don’t you have a job to go back too? Instead of being here playing nurse to a fucking cripple.” Referring to my messed up leg that I haven’t even be able to walk on yet, no wonder Connor left, I'm not what he wants now, I'm a fucked up mess.
Looming over me Karina comes face to face with me with a look in her eyes I've never seen before. It actually scared me for a split second.
“You listen to me mofo and you listen fucking good, I'm here because you're my best friend and you need me right now, as for my job I've spoken to them and they understand and lastly you are not a cripple, you woke up three fucking days ago, I know you're frustrated I get that, but you have got to let your body heal and then you can be the stubborn bitch I know you can be and get out of bed… so are we clear now?”
I just lie there a little shell shocked, so she carries on at me.
“Fuck sake Allie I love you like a Sister, but right now I could kick your arse!” She's getting frustrated with me now, if she was a cartoon steam would be coming out of her ears.
“I love you too Karina, I'm sorry I shouldn't take it out on you.. Its.. Just.. There's no one else here for me to take it out on.”
“Yeah well… carry on and I might just disappear myself bitch.” My outburst soon forgotten, she smiles at me and pokes me on my nose, which causes me to laugh but I soon stop when the pain in my lower left side cruelly reminds me why I'm here in the first place.
“Shit sorry my bad I shouldn't make you laugh.” Karina says whilst still laughing at me.
She’s been my rock, not just now but for the last four years and right now I'm being a horrible friend. I can see it on her face something is bothering her and it’s not just me being in here.
Biting the bullet I go straight for it and ask. “Mofo what’s going on with you? I know you’ve been here for me and I’ll be eternally grateful for that, but I know you and something is bothering you, it’s written all over your face and don’t tell me it’s nothing, because I have a funny feeling it has something to do with Johnny, I saw the evil stare down contest you pair were having when I left you in that room… so come on spill now.”
I know they’ve spoken quickly on the phone since they left Austria because I've heard her telling him what happened when Connor left and updates on how I'm doing.
The sly bitch thinks I don’t know… but I do.
Huffing in annoyance at the way I've called her on her shit she flops down in the big chair next to my bed. With her head in her hands she mumbles.
“You're too bloody observant for your own good Allie Whitbury.”
Smiling at her with a big shit eating grin I tell her to spill or else when I get out of here I'm going make it my life’s mission to find out… and she know’s I will.
“Right ok… Jesus… We slept together are you happy now?" She blurts out. “The night we all went out we had sex outside the bus so no one would suspect anything. It just sort of happened, we never anticipated this shit storm happening." Talk about being blunt.
"So why haven't you told me sooner?" I know why she hasn't but I still ask. She gives me an ‘are you kidding me’ look and I just look back at her with a guilty expression on my face.
“Look mofo it’s not like anything else is going to happen is it? I mean he’s Johnny Owen, the lead guitarist of bloody Syren, he’d had women in every different city he’d been in, he’s more than likely forgotten about it by now, and the sex was shit anyway, there’s nothing special about Johnny fucking Owen. So let’s just leave it… yeah?”
Ignoring her question even though I know she's lying about that, the why she said it and the way she's avoiding looking at me tells me all I need know. She’ll only end up telling me sooner or later.
“I've heard them words before mofo only it was me saying them to you if you remember and I've just had the best month or so of my life, so stop being a mard arse and just see what happens… yeah?” Throwing her question back at her, she smiles at me because she knows I'm right.
We sit in silence just enjoying the peace when both our heads shoot up in a nano second when we hear commotion outside my door. It's late in the evening so there’s no visitors hanging around to cause any trouble, Karinas an exception because she told the doctor who my boyfriend is… was… and that he’d have his medical licence in a flash if she wasn’t allowed to stay with me. Nodding my head at Karina indicating for her to go and look at what’s going on, she slowly gets up and gingerly creeps across the room to the door, once she finally gets to the door she pulls it open just a crack and I can hear the nurse tell whoever it is that visiting is over before Karina sucks in a breath and slams the door shut.
Curiosity getting the better of me due to her reaction when she opened the door I ask her.
“Mofo whats going on?” She turns to look at me over her shoulder before stuttering.
“Erm… erm... I’ll be right back mofo.”
With that she’s out the door quicker than her feet can take her.
I'm left alone in my room wondering what the hell is going on just as the nurse who's on the night shift we know as Claire enters.
“Oh honey it’s all happening out there, but don't you worry about it or get yourself stressed you need your rest remember.” Nurse Claire was the nicest nurse I've ever met and she has taken good care of me on all her night shifts.
“Is it who I think it is out there?” I ask her even though I already know the answer.
“Well you'll have to wait and see, but if you don’t mind me saying… he’s come a very long way to see you.. So whatever it is or for whatever reason you don't want to see him... Well, I'd give him a chance. You never know you might be surprised lovely.”
Just then Karina comes back in my room visible shaken and she’s starting to worry me.
With panic lacing my voice I spit out.
“Will someone in all things holy please tell me what the hell is going on.”
When she finally looks at me she steps forward and places a hand on top of mine and tells me. “Johnnys here… with Connor.”
Oh shit… I don't know why I'm acting so shocked the nurse has basically just bloody told me, but hearing it out loud and the mention of his name has me all nervous.
Everyone makes
Mistakes in life, but
That doesn’t mean they have
To pay for them the rest of
Their life.
Sometimes GOOD people
Make BAD choices.
It doesn’t mean they’re bad…
It means they’re
HUMAN.
Connor
I should’ve known getting into to see Allie at this time of night was going to be a bloody nightmare but I didn’t think of that when I managed to get a private plane out of Heathrow at last minute
. Thanks to my assistant Jodie, who is fucking amazing may I add. I can ask her do anything and she can sort it for me. Its because of her I am able to see my Angel.
I fucked up in leaving her, I should never of done it but I did and now I have to grovel and beg and pray to god she will have me back.
She has to.
I'm standing at the nurses station whilst Johnny’s getting into a very heated discussion with a nurse who is going beetroot in the face due to the fact she know’s who we are and she’s currently arguing with one of the world’s best guitarists, she says to him as she walks around from the desk she’s sitting at.
“Look I'm not being funny but visiting is over now, you will have to come back tomorrow, I can’t just make exceptions because of who you are I'm afraid.”
“Look…. Claire.” He said as he looks at her name badge. “You're not getting what I'm saying we need to see them tonight… now, it’s really important. What can I do to get you to let us in? I'll do anything.” He isn't kidding either he would. And don't think for a minute him saying “them” has gone unnoticed it hasn't.
I know why I need in there asap but why is he so bothered? I make a mental note to ask him later but right now I'm trying to hold in a laugh as the nurse whom’s name we now know is Claire, I'd say in her mid fifties has just now made him blush, and I mean blush. I move in closer to hear what's being said when I burst out laughing full blown laughing.
“You heard me Johnny boy you want in that room all you have to do is be a gentleman and give a woman a little peck on the cheek. It'll be something for me to tell my grandkids when I have them.” Judging by the straight face she has she’s deadly serious to.
She turns her attention to me as Johnny thinks things over in his head.
Syren's Heaven & Hell (The Syren Series Book 2) Page 3
