“And I don't know what your laughing at Connor that includes you to. Two people want in that room so I want two kisses, one from Johnny and one from you as well.”
Oh fuck…. that soon wiped the smile of my face and now Johnny has the nerve to full belly laugh at me when out of nowhere he blurts out...
“You have a deal claire.” He tells her in between laughs.
A… what the fuck Johnny? I'm staring at him like he’s gone mad. I'm shocked he's agreed to it so quick. I don't know what's gotten into him lately ever since he was in my apartment I've noticed a change in him.
“Ok claire… pucker up love.” Johnny leans over to give nurse Claire a kiss on the cheek and just as he's inches away from her cheek she turns her head and he gets her lips. They are in a full locked lip on lip kiss for about four or five seconds when Johnny pulls away and realizes what’s just happened.
“Now… now that wasn't playing fair claire.” Johnny says slightly taken aback by the nurse having the nerve to pull that kind of stunt knowing who he is.
“Well if I get into trouble for that it was… so worth it.” She says to no one other than herself. She then turns to me with the biggest grin I've ever seen. “One down one to go.”
“Oh fuck…. right… ok but do it properly this time.”
“I'm not making any promises honey.” She says as she reaches me.
I’ll do it quick and get it over with and hope she doesn't get the better of me like she did Johnny. But as you can imagine she gets me good and proper only this time it was a kiss on the lips whilst she pinched my arse and I swear my kiss lasted way longer than his, and as I jump back from the shock of her touching my arse I turn to him with a scowl on my face and he’s smiling at me. Leaning over the nurses station holding his side, because he’s in pain from laughing so hard.
The fucker.
Looking back to nurse Claire who’s got the biggest cat got the cream smile on her face as she says.
“Oh my god… It feels as good as it looks that definitely would be worth getting the sack over…” Pulling herself together I note the dreamy look she has on her face as we make are way down the corridor towards Allie's room, I turn back to Johnny who looks just as befuddled as me. We stand there for a few seconds longer trying to get our heads around what the fuck just happened which still makes no sense to me never mind him. As I'm about to say something to him he comes out with...
“Dude it worked didn’t it?... so just go with it…” He had a point it did work. “But for the record this… whatever the fuck it was… never happened. It stays between you and me.”
“Agreed. No one needs know of this... especially Max… shit he wouldn’t let us live this down.” I say back to him.
Just before we start making our way towards her door we hear the door slam shut, looking up I see Karina heading towards us, she looks like she could kill me in my sleep and not think twice about it.
Johnny comes to a complete stand still next to me before he says panic clearly lacing his voice.
“Oh fuck me sideways… fucking hell it’s Karina.”
Why is he saying it like that. I know Karina can hold her own but anyone would think he’s done something wrong…. then the penny finally drops. Now I know why he’s been acting funny.
“Shit Johnny…. What the fuck have you been doing now? Or should I say who?”
“Shut the fuck up dude… I'll tell you later if I'm still alive.” I don't have time to question him as Karina is still marching towards us, hands on her hips. Nurse Claire carries on walking and heads inside Allie’s room and as she passes she gives Karina a polite smile which Karina returns back just before she reaches us.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Connor? You tell the girl you have feelings for her then you tell her she's better off without you and now…. now you show up here again. What do you want Connor?” She’s pissed at me and she has every right to be I messed up… royally, I'm actually surprised she hasn’t kicked me in the bollocks and told me to fuck off… I more than deserve it but she hasn’t and I'm going take that as a win for now because if Karinas still my friend then maybe my chances with getting Allie back will be in my favour.
“I screwed up K I just need to speak to her… please?” I beg. “I need her to know that I want her back and that I never should have said the things I did, I was only doing it to protect her from all of this and I thought being away from me may keep her out of danger, but she was right we’re better off together I can protect her better with her beside me.. I… I… love her Karina.”
“Let me speak to her first… ok? But I'm not making you any promises Con.”
“That’s all I ask. Thank you.”
As she walks away she turns and looks over her shoulder to Johnny with a sad look on her face but doesn't say anything further as she re-enters the room.
“Shit.. I think she hates me.” Johnny says, but I don't get to ask why she would hate him, when nurse Claire comes back out the room.
“Come on boys we haven't got all night now. You're earned yourselves twenty minutes lads so make it count.” As she holds the door open for us she turns to Allie… “Allie darling… there's two very good looking men outside wanting to see you.. And trust me they were willing to do anything to get in here let me just tell you.” She then winks at her, myself and Johnny have a glance at one another, no words needed as we both know what she's on about.
“Twenty minutes guys please and then you need be out and come back when the visiting hours are.” With that nurse Claire leaves the room as I look at Allie. The room is that silent you could hear a pin drop before her eyes meet mine.
“Well time's ticking Connor, so whatever you have to say to me say it quick.” Shit she's really going give me a hard time right now.
Ok… here goes…..
Never Give up
On someone you
Can’t go a day
Without
Thinking about.
Allie
What in gods name is he doing here?
He made his choice when he walked out.
I can tell myself till I'm blue in the face that I don’t want to see him, but I’d be lying. I still love him, no matter what he’s done I will always love him… but it doesn’t mean I have to make it easy for him.
The minute the nurse came back in and told me that there were two lovely young men here to see me I knew it was him and Johnny, both she and Karina confirmed it minutes ago but my stomach still fell out of my arse with nerves.
I never expected to see him again, I thought once he walked through that door a couple of days ago that he was gone and he was never coming back.
So why has he shown up now? So he can hurt me some more?
Too rip my heart out all over again and cause me some more untold pain? Because right now I don’t think I could take much more. I have enough to deal.
Claire seems to think the sun shines out of his very cute arse but right now I know differently, I'm in utter shock that he’s here but Karina also seems to think I should let him say whatever bollocks he’s come to say the bloody traitor, I swear she’s supposed to be my best friend not his. The decision gets taken out of my hands when Claire tells them they have twenty minutes with me then they have to come back tomorrow.
Then I see him walk through the door… time stands still. What is only a few seconds feels like minutes. The first thing I notice is his eyes, his big chocolate brown eyes. God I've missed those, but they seem to have lost their spark.
He looks just as miserable as me.
“I'll just give you all some room. I'll be back to check on you in the next twenty minutes ok lovely?” With that she's out the door as Connor and Johnny come further into the room.
“Well time's ticking Connor… say whatever it is you come here to say.” I'm being very blunt and to the point with him but it's what he deserves.
“Ok.. I… ermmm… look I'm just going to say it and hope you believe me when I say it because I mea
n every word of it. First off… I'm sorry how I acted the last time I saw you, and how I left things with you, you were right we're stronger together than apart and I don't just mean getting through this but I mean I life. You're my Angel, always will be and… I love you Allie Whitbury. I need you to forgive me please say you forgive me? I'll beg and plead till I'm blue in the face, I’ll walk to the end of the earth and back if that makes you happy. All I want is for you to be happy. And I hope that that's with me.”
Well shit a brick I was not expecting that, I can’t believe he’s just spilled his entire feelings and laid his heart out on a silver platter like that in front of two other people… this shit is serious.
Pulling my eyes away from his I glance over to Karina who’s standing over by the closed door when I notice her eyes are glassy… bloody mard arse… she shrugs her shoulders at me then glances at her watch before she stutters.
“Well… we’ll just g..g.. give you two some time alone.” Before I know it she’s dragging poor Johnny out the door by the collar of his jacket… poor bloke he’s in for a rough ride with her. He doesn’t know what’s hit him.
Once we’re alone Connor grabs the empty chair and pulls it right up against my bed, he sits and takes one of my hands in his.
“You have every reason to kick me out and tell me to fuck off… and I won’t blame you if you do Angel, it's just I've only been without you for three days and it's all but killed me not being with you, I know we can get through this… together. I will find out who did this to you Angel… so I'm begging you with everything I have please forgive me?” He stops talking for a few seconds and I think he’s finished with his little speech but he continues...
“I don’t do relationships Angel, I never have, I've never been in love and had the feelings I have for you, and I'm not going to lie I don’t know how to do deal with it all so I did what I always do when things get rough… I walk away and for that I will forever be sorry, I've spent the last three days pissed, my only friend being a bottle of Jack’s, if it wasn’t for the guys literally knocking my door down then I might have done something I would of regretted.”
Oh wow. Talk about putting a girl in a sticky situation.
My heart is telling me to forgive him and we can move on but my head is telling me that I need to walk away before more damage is caused to my already bruised heart.
Taking the fact that I haven’t said anything to him since he finished talking he gets up and comes and sits facing me on the bed, taking my face in his calloused hands he says.
“I know I've hurt you Angel and I don’t expect you to answer me now, but just so you know I will be back tomorrow, I have no intentions of ever leaving you again even if you do tell me to take a running jump, I will always be here.” With that he places a hand on my chest where my heart beats wildly… for him.
Before I get a chance to say anything in return to that, the door swings open and as I glance up at it I see Claire the nurse standing there with her hand on her hip and the other pointing a finger at her watch.
“Come on young man, times up you will have to come back tomorrow when the girl has had some rest.”
Grumbling something along the lines of how that woman is a pain in his arse, he gets up from the bed, he leans over placing a gentle but toe curling kiss to my lips before I get the chance to reciprocate he pulls away leaving me wanting him even more.
Turning away he heads towards the door giving Claire one of his cheeky grins because he’s done as he’s told for once.
“Don’t come with that smile at me Connor Blackwood.” She says to him trying her hardest not to swoon at his feet… poor woman is smitten… I don’t blame her… I am too.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.” He tells her but I think it's more for my benefit than hers.
With them final words he’s gone.
Claire shuts the door behind them both and I sink back into the pillows and bring my fingertips to my lips where there still tingling from the kiss he gave me, thinking I’ll be nuts if I don’t give him another chance, I'm miserable without him. These past three days have been poor torture.
My thoughts are interrupted when Karina comes barreling through the door slamming it behind her before collapsing in the chair that Connor just vacated.
“You alright?” I ask her, finding her flustered state quite amusing. Giving me the evil eye she huffs out.
“Well that's a stupid fucking question. Do I look alright to you?... Why in gods name did he have to bring Johnny with him when he decided to hop on a plane and fight tooth and nail for you… couldn’t he have just left his dumbass side kick back in London just this once?”
Oh dear she is in a state over Johnny boy… it’s refreshing to see my usually so put together friend having a mini melt down.
Not knowing what to say to all the questions she’s just spat at me at rapid speed… might I add, I just shrug my shoulders in an- I don’t know- gesture, trying my hardest not to laugh at the state she’s gotten herself into.
“Ppffttt, you're some bloody good use aren’t you.” She says it as a statement not a question because she’s right I'm not much use to her right now my heads all kinda messed up over Connors late night visit. I find myself smiling.
Fuck me were a pair together.
I have one big question of my own I have to answer…
Do I or don’t I?
I know he’s not my
Boyfriend,
But he’s still,
MINE.
Anonymous
This can not be happening.
He’s not supposed to be jumping on a plane and going to her. But as per usual there was not a goddamn thing I could do about it. Not yet anyway. I need to bide my time.
He was only supposed to have some time after leaving her to nurse what he thinks is a broken heart before phoning me to help him get that little tramp out of his system.
He may not be my boyfriend yet but he’s still mine and I won’t have some little blonde bitch coming along and batting her eyelashes to get what she wants.
I'm going to have to take even more drastic action to get her to fuck off because clearly I didn’t do the job properly last time.
I won’t be making the same mistake twice.
She has to go, one way or another I will get rid of her.
She’s a hinderance, a fly that needs to be squashed.
Why has he gone back to her? I thought his mind was made up when he left her in that damn hospital bed. The bed I put her in. I thought by putting a knife through her side would end her pathetic little life.
And if she so happened to make it out alive, then he would see how damaged she was and wouldn’t want anything to do with her, because I know for a fact he can’t handle complicated women… and now she will be a complicated woman, but with a few hefty scars thrown in for good measure. The knife wound to her leg sure as hell would make her life miserable. Not being able to do the thing she loves most, dancing, that would cause her pain in itself. Having to look at them scars every single day would be a reminder of what happened to her, knowing Connor may have being the reason for them.
I'm now sat here in my empty apartment, apart from my bed, table and laptop I use for work, wondering what my next move is going to be.
Not knowing what's happening in Austria and now having to bide my time.
Knowing I could do so much better than what I currently have now. It's not because I don't have the money cause I do. My job pays well but with all the moving around I'm doing, trying to follow his every move, trying to stay one step ahead. It’s easier this way.
I cannot and will not make anymore mistakes.
It's time for phase two,I'm going to have to step it up a notch. She's going to wish she had never met Connor or become a part of his life.
She wasn’t made to be apart of his world.
I was.
I will wait for
You because
Honestly,
I don’t want
Anyone else.
Connor
I thought leaving her in that hospital four days ago was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Leaving her there last night with my heart laid out on the line for her was the hardest thing ever.
I've never opened up like that to… well anyone.
I did not sleep a wink last night. My thoughts going back to Allie, I didn't really get an answer off her when I left her last night, and my mind is thinking of all kinds of answers she can give me. The one I want is yes. Simple as.
What I don't want is her doubting everything I've said, her thinking it was all a lie maybe because I feel guilty about what happened to her. Which I do in some way, but that doesn't mean I don't love her, and only want her back for that reason. Because that's not the case, I don't want her thinking that or telling me it's too late. That I fucked up that bad she can’t forgive me and won’t take me back.
Johnny wouldn't leave me on my own last night, so as I walk out of my room and into the living area of the hotel that Jodie my amazing assistant managed to book us last minute, I find him sitting on the sofa with his hands on his head.
“Take it you didn't sleep last night either, ay John?”
“No, my heads proper done in.” I know it has something to do with Karina. She's gotten under his skin and it's something he isn’t use to, he's never got this close to a girl before he’s like me in that sense, we never get close to a woman or let are feelings get involved… until now. Maybe it's something to do with his past which he never really speaks about.
“You think your life is fucked up, well mine is just as bad, I literally fucked her and chucked her dude.”
“Well that’s nothing new… it’s what you do, it’s what you’ve always done so why you getting your Calvins in a twist now over some woman?” I ask, hoping he’ll give me something to figure out what’s going on in his pea sized brain.
“Dude, you really don’t want to know what’s going on, if I told you then things would just get even more fucked up, let's just say I recognised her the minute she stepped on that tour bus, she’s the daughter of someone I used to know, she won’t remember me though she was younger back then, but... I’d remember them eyes of hers from anywhere and her cute little button nose. How the hell was I meant know that the Karina you were on about was the same little girl I knew. And when I saw her the night you flew her here I just couldn't help myself. Things I thought were dead and buried have come back to haunt me. Before I could say or do anything my dick spoke for me instead of my head. And we’ll just leave it at that for now shall we? Anyway… haven't we got somewhere be? Bet you're dying get back up the hospital.”
Syren's Heaven & Hell (The Syren Series Book 2) Page 4
