by Ted Dekker
“Does Dr. Charles have any ideas as to how you got this rash?” I asked, trying to reconnect with a girl who used to trust me fully.
“No,” Evelyn said, “he says it’s probably a combination of things.”
“Oh?”
“But I think he’s wrong.”
“Why do you say that?” I moved up under the collar of her dress, along her shoulder and throat.
“I know why this happened to me,” Evelyn said.
“Why?”
“It’s punishment for my sins,” the girl said quietly.
She was staring out the window. We all knew how impurity could indeed manifest in all kinds of bodily ailments. Following the law benefited not only God but ourselves.
“But Evelyn, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
Her jaw flexed. “I’m the oldest. My mother always says I have to lead by example. Stephen wouldn’t have disobeyed if I’d been a better example.”
I wanted to offer her some sort of comfort, but I knew it would be of no use. She believed every word she was saying and so did I.
Didn’t I?
Something about that belief disturbed me. Or maybe the disturbance was that a small part of me was questioning the belief, which was itself an infraction of the law. So would I contract the rash as well?
“I’ll have this rash until I’m a better example,” Evelyn said. Her bottom lip started to quiver slightly, and she dropped her voice to a whisper. “But I’m afraid.”
I gently held her arm, hoping my touch offered her some comfort. “Afraid of what?”
“Afraid that I’ll never be good enough to be clean.” Tears welled in her eyes, and I wanted to hold her close. But when I placed my arm around her back, she pushed me away. “You can’t touch me that way,” she snapped.
I withdrew, embarrassed, and finished my work in an uncomfortable silence. I removed the gloves, recapped the ointment, and stood.
“Do you need anything else?” I asked. “I could make you some of that peppermint tea you like so much.”
She looked at me hesitantly. “Do you think Mother would approve?”
“You’re sick, so of course she would.”
A small sparkle ignited in the corner of her eye, and she gave me a half smile. “That would be nice,” she said.
“I’ll be right back.”
After returning the ointment to the bathroom, I hurried downstairs to put on the teapot, satisfied by the small smile I’d coaxed out of Evelyn. Then I headed into the living room to check on Levi and Stephen. But Stephen was gone.
“Where’s your brother?” I asked Levi.
He looked up from his book and shrugged. I glanced around the room, moved to check behind the couch and curtains, then Rose’s office. No sign of him.
“Stephen?” I called. No reply. “Levi, when did your brother leave?”
“I don’t know,” he said, annoyed. I gave him a warning look, and he put his book down on his knees. “I didn’t even hear him leave.”
I was moving then, full of trepidation, down the hall, past the staircase to the first-floor bathroom, dining room, and back mudroom. All were empty.
My heart was racing as I rushed back upstairs to check his bedroom. “Stephen?” I pushed open his bedroom door. No sign of him.
Evelyn’s worried voice came from her room. “Everything alright?”
“Yes, don’t worry, I’m just going to go get your tea,” I lied.
My pulse was thundering as I raced back downstairs, worst-case scenarios now screaming through my brain. He knew better than to wander outside, right?
I was moving toward the back door when I came around the corner and noticed the basement door slightly ajar. I pulled up.
I’d nearly forgotten Rose’s home had a lower level, because I’d never been down there. The door was always closed and locked. But here it stood, open just enough for a small person to sneak through.
I pulled the door open. An overhead bulb lit the unfinished wooden stairs. “Stephen? Are you down there?”
A tiny laugh echoed up in response, and I released a sigh of relief.
“What are you doing?” Bobbie asked. I twisted to see her standing in the hall, arms crossed. “Getting into more trouble?”
Why was she suddenly here? What prompted her to come and go? I glanced around. Levi was still in the living room.
“I have to get Stephen,” I said.
She walked toward me and looked down the stairs, arms still crossed. “I show myself to you when I’m needed. Like right now. You know that going into the basement’s prohibited.”
“Stephen’s down there.”
“Then call him up.”
I hesitated, suddenly very curious as to what dangers might lurk in the basement.
“That’s none of your business,” she said quickly. “Your business is to keep your nose clean. Stay away from any appearance of wrongdoing. For the sake of your baby as much as your own.”
“What’s in the basement?” I asked, curiosity growing.
“Trouble. Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Everything you should be avoiding. Don’t go down; call him up.”
Trust no one, she’d said. Trust no one. And I wondered if that should include her. The thought confused me.
“Confusion is the devil, Grace. My only concern is to keep you safe.”
“I know, but there’s too many things pulling me in too many directions,” I blurted. “Stephen is my responsibility. I have to get him!”
“I can’t stop you, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She shoved her chin at the stairwell. “Be my guest.”
I looked down, then back at her, but she was gone.
I descended the stairs to a concrete floor and glanced around a mostly unfinished basement. Cold walls with exposed pipes above. Limited lighting and plenty of shadows. A single small window stood high on the far wall. Neatly stacked boxes and a row of steel shelves filled with odds and ends lined another.
I didn’t see any danger.
Against the back wall was another door, also opened slightly, to the only finished part of the basement. A voice drifted from the room, then a tiny laugh that I recognized as Stephen’s. See, no danger down here.
“We aren’t supposed to be down here,” said a voice from behind. It caught me off guard and I spun around to see Levi standing halfway down the stairs.
“Levi! Go back upstairs right this minute.”
“Is Stephen with him?” he asked.
“With who?”
“The new boy. He lives down here, but we aren’t allowed to play with him. Mother said he’s wicked.”
Eli!
My heart caught in my throat. Rose was keeping Eli in her basement!
I turned back to the door, knowing I was in a terrible predicament. In spite of Rose’s warnings, I was desperately curious about the boy. This was what Bobbie was warning me about.
But now I had to know.
I hurried forward and pulled the door open. There was Eli, sitting on a thin mattress in the corner of the room. A simple space, no windows, a little table, a single lamp, no sheets, no pillows, no bed frame.
Stephen was sitting beside Eli. They both looked up at me.
Stephen held out a small bowl of grapes. “I wanted to share my snack.”
“Mother told us not to come down here,” Levi said just behind me. I glanced back, horrified to see that he’d disobeyed my instruction.
“But he was hungry,” Stephen said.
“How do you know?” Levi asked, peering around me.
“I was hungry, so I knew he must be too.”
“You’re going to get us in big trouble,” Levi said.
I knew I should rush Levi and Stephen back upstairs, but my eyes were glued to the blue-eyed boy sitting before me. He really did look so much like I imagined Lukas would have. The boy was watching me, maybe waiting for me to say something. He flashed me a small smile and I blinked, caught up in his sweet innocence.
“Hello,�
�� I said. “I’m Grace. You’re Eli?”
“Yes,” he said.
“It’s a nice name.” A beat passed between us.
“Thank you,” Eli said in a sweet voice. His bright eyes drew me in like a deep well that could transport you to a different place if you stared for too long.
“He’s a magician,” Stephen announced excitedly. “He does magic tricks.”
“Magic is a sin,” Levi said.
Be careful, Grace.
Bobbie’s warning echoed in the back of my mind. This isn’t safe, Grace. Get out.
What had a moment ago felt like wonder quickly transformed to caution. I would face consequences if Rose found out we’d come down. What was I doing here?
“We need to go back upstairs right now.”
“Can Eli come too?” Stephen asked.
“No.” I glanced back at Eli’s face. “No, he has to stay down here.”
“But why?”
Seeing his face now, I struggled to wrap my mind around how such an innocent child could threaten us all.
They come in sheep’s clothing. Get out, Grace. Think of your baby.
“Because Mother said so, that’s why,” Levi scolded.
“That’s right,” I said. I reached a hand toward Stephen, not daring to go to collect him. “Come on, Stephen. We have to hurry.”
“Strangers are dangerous,” Levi said. “Mother’s going to punish you.”
Again the tiny whisper of doubt popped to life. Was Eli really a stranger? He was my brother, right? A brother could be a stranger, but . . .
“What is going on here?” a fearful voice asked from behind.
I spun around to see Rose standing at the bottom of the steps, her face pale, eyes wide with horror. Her gaze shifted to Levi, then past me to the room. Her face darkened with rage.
“Rose, I—”
“Silence!” She strode for us, yanked Levi away from me, and brushed me aside. “How dare you come near my son!” she snapped at Eli, storming into the room.
I opened my mouth to interject on Eli’s behalf but felt a hand on my shoulder. “Not now, Grace.” Bobbie stood beside me, shaking her head, finger on her lips to silence me. So I kept my mouth shut.
Rose reached down, grabbed a trembling Stephen by his arm, and jerked him to his feet. Flung him at me.
“Upstairs,” she yelled. “Now!”
We responded in unison as if we were all three her children, running for the stairs and rushing back up to the main level. The door to the room below slammed shut and Rose clopped across the concrete basement, hard on our heels.
A high pitch whistled through the house, and it dawned on me that I’d forgotten the teakettle. Before I could move, Rose was rushing past me into the kitchen. She yanked the steaming kettle from the stovetop and clunked it into the sink.
She paused a moment, collecting herself, then swung around and dropped to a knee in front of Stephen, who’d followed us in. “Are you okay?” She ran her arms over him, twisted him either way so she could make sure he hadn’t been hurt.
“Yes.”
Rose stood and glared at me. “How dare you take the children down into the basement! Have you lost your mind?”
Before I could defend myself, Levi set her straight. “Stephen went into the basement.”
Rose glanced at Stephen. “What do you mean? You went down on your own?”
His lips were trembling as he stared up at her, near tears.
“What were you thinking?” she demanded.
Her son opened his mouth, but Rose didn’t actually want a response.
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that boy is? The basement is off-limits!”
Large tears filled Stephen’s little eyes.
“How did you get down there? The door’s locked.”
Stephen reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
She snatched them from him. “Where did you get these?”
“In your desk?”
“You are never to touch anything in my office! You know how important it is to follow the rules. They’re for your protection and safety. If you break them, there are consequences!”
“I’m sorry.” Stephen sniffed.
“Sorry’s not good enough. You directly disobeyed me!”
“Mommy, I didn’t—”
“Go to your room,” she snapped, shoving a finger at the hall. “You will spend the afternoon dwelling on your sins until your father gets home to decide on the right correction.”
“I’m sorry,” he cried.
“To your room!” Rose barked. She flicked her eyes to Levi. “And you as well. Both of you, now!”
They hurried away like frightened mice, pattering up the stairs.
“How could you let this happen?” Rose demanded of me.
I opened my mouth to speak but couldn’t find the right words. Rose was looking to place blame, not find answers.
“I trusted you with my children’s care. That means you watch them! This is the second time in the last few days you’ve placed them in danger!”
“I went to check on Evelyn,” I started. “She—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses! I hold you responsible.”
“Rose, I’m so—”
“You’ve formed a bad habit of letting me and this community down, and I’m running out of patience.” Rose stepped closer, dropping her voice to a harsh growl. “There’s no more room for failure, Grace. If not for the child growing in you, I would have you subjected to correction! This is outrageous!”
Her words cut me deeply and filled me with dread. She might be overreacting, but she was right.
“I tried to tell you, Grace,” Bobbie said behind me. I glanced back and saw that she was leaning against the kitchen door frame, then quickly returned my eyes to Rose.
“Do you understand?” Rose said.
I remained silent, body rigid.
“Do you understand?” she shouted.
“Yes,” I whispered, then swallowed and spoke louder. “Yes.”
She stared at me for a long, hard second. “Go home, Grace,” she ordered.
Without hesitation I turned and fled down the hall and out the front door. This was bad. I should have listened to Bobbie.
But what about Eli?
Chapter
Twenty
I WAS LYING ON MY BED WHEN I REMEMBERED THE pills.
Gasping, I sat up, reached into the pocket of my white dress, and pulled out the list Rose had given me several hours earlier. The items I needed to start taking for the health of my unborn baby. In the wake of Rose’s outrage, I’d forgotten.
I spun to the window. The sun was starting to hide behind the hills, marking the end of the day, and with it, curfew. No woman was permitted outside without a male escort after six.
Rose had insisted that I start taking these vitamins today. She’d been firm. But she’d also insisted I go home. Had she expected me to go home via the clinic? I could go first thing in the morning, but Dr. Charles would know and might report it.
I stood from my bed and paced the worn rug. In my state of exhaustion, the idea of facing my mother for a solution seemed insurmountable. Jamie would be home by now, but I didn’t trust him to keep a secret in his newfound loyalty to the law.
My only sane option was to wait till morning and risk another scolding.
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Bobbie asked.
I glanced at my bed where she sat, legs crossed, leaning on one arm. Her shimmering hair was pulled to one side across her shoulder.
“Do I have no control over you?” I demanded, but I was glad for her attentiveness, however sporadic.
“Do you want me to leave?”
“I didn’t say that.”
She shrugged. “I show up when I think I can help, which isn’t always. If I’m not welcome, I have no power to help.”
“How do you know when you’re welcome?”
“Am I?”
&nbs
p; I hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. Yes, you are.” Then, “What do you mean, waiting until morning isn’t wise? I can’t get out and back by curfew. I have no choice.”
“You always have a choice,” Bobbie said. She stood gracefully and walked across the room to my window. Using two fingers she separated the blinds and gazed out. “If you hurry you’ll have enough time to get back before dark. No rules broken.”
“I could never get past my mother or brother.”
“Who said anything about getting past them?” Bobbie yanked the blinds up, unlocked the window’s latch and opened the bottom panel. “Slip out, tread carefully, slip back in. Easy.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “I couldn’t possibly do that.”
“Why not? Then you avoid dealing with your family, and you follow Rose’s instructions.”
“Sneaking around feels like I’m doing something wrong.”
“More like avoiding wrong.” She turned back to face me. “You could wait till morning, but that means disobeying Rose.”
Made sense. Maybe she was right.
“I usually am,” she said. “I promised to keep you safe. But I can only do that if you let me.”
I considered what she was saying, weighed my options, and started pacing again. The harsh, hurtful words of Rose echoed through my mind as they had all afternoon. You’ve formed a bad habit of letting me down. She wouldn’t accept another excuse from me. And there was also my baby to consider.
I stopped and looked toward the window. Bobbie reached out and pushed it all the way open. Slip out, tread carefully, and slip back in. Easy.
Bobbie smiled. “Easy.”
ROSE SLIPPED INTO THE QUIET CLINIC THROUGH THE back entrance. Harrison had come home when he’d said he would, giving her enough time to deal with Ben before returning home to take care of the boy. Her husband didn’t know what she would do, naturally. It was better that way.
The events of the afternoon had left her shaken. The boy had come off as innocent in the eyes of her children, likely in the eyes of Grace as well. And under the guise of innocence, he’d already influenced her children and Grace to disregard simple, firm rules.
