by Ted Dekker
“It’s important to remember what we’ve been called to as the children of our Father God and his Son, Jesus Christ. The price we pay in turning away from the world and embracing holiness pales in comparison to the glorious inheritance that awaits us all. We must remember that we are all still vulnerable to punishment for any disobedience. It is crucial that with this act, we kill our doubt, return to the faith that protects us, and never waver again.”
Then, in a softer voice, “Bring him forward.”
My heart was racing. Him. Eli. Surely someone would stand up and stop this madness. Was everyone present? Were the children there?
“Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness for sins,” Rose cried. “Today we silence the heresy masquerading as the light that this boy has brought among us. Today we ensure our inheritance as the remnant of God’s holy church.”
Panic seized me. I grabbed the bars at the window and almost cried out, but I realized that no amount of begging on my part would dissuade them. Crying out would only worsen my own situation.
Emotion surged up my raw throat and burned in my chest. “Oh God, please, someone stop this!” I whispered.
Rose’s voice came again, softer but biting. “You have been shown to be an agent of the devil.” She was talking to Eli. I held my breath. “Do you deny this?”
A beat. Then his young voice came. “I always knew you would kill me. But a light will rise that will chase away all shadows.” He paused. “And really, there is no death anyway. It’s just a passing.”
“So says the Fury,” Rose bit off.
“Stop!” a tiny voice cried. Stephen! “Please stop.”
“You can’t do this, Mother,” a second voice said. Evelyn.
And then as if they’d broken the dam, more soft voices filled the air. Emboldened by Stephen and Evelyn, the children of Haven Valley were calling out for mercy.
A loud crack stopped them all. A gunshot. Followed by the sound of a body collapsing on the ground.
Silence.
They had killed Eli.
I turned from the window, numb. Collapsed on the bench, dumbstruck. Rose had just executed my brother.
The children started crying softly, but it was all too late. Eli had come and Eli was dead. I couldn’t think straight.
“Let the pain we are feeling be a reminder of the consequences of heresy,” Rose said. “Burn this body and bring Grace to the sanctuary in three hours.”
I slipped to the floor, laid my forehead on the packed dirt, and sobbed into the earth. Eli was dead, and with him, all the light he’d shown me. They would come for me next.
Nothing remained now.
A GENTLE NUDGE WOKE ME. MY CHEEK WAS PRESSED against the ground, my body shivering from the cold.
“I tried to warn you,” Bobbie said.
I pushed myself up and slowly turned to where she sat on the corner of the bench, legs crossed, arms the same. But I didn’t see how she could help me now. So I slumped back down and curled up on my side.
“They killed him,” I whispered.
“He threatened them,” she replied.
“He didn’t deserve to die.”
“Do you deserve to die, Grace? Does your unborn baby deserve to die? Because if you don’t wise up, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”
I sniffed, a fresh round of tears filling my eyes. I had shoved the thought of my baby aside, but her words made me sick. Surely it wasn’t that bad.
“I don’t want my baby to die.”
“You should have listened to me from the start,” Bobbie said.
“Rose would never threaten my child.”
“You heard Sylous. I was trying to protect you from this, but you ignored me. This is all your fault.”
I pulled tighter in on myself, knowing everything she said was true.
“Why, Grace? Because a boy made you believe in something that felt warm and fuzzy? It didn’t save him. You think it’ll save you now?”
“He showed me things.”
“And where are those things now? Can they save you or your baby? No, Grace, they can’t.”
She was angry with me and had every right to be. I had abandoned common sense. I’d ignored discernment and wisdom.
I heard her move, then she was kneeling beside me, resting her hand on my shoulder. “The boy can’t help you, Grace, but I still can.”
“It’s too late,” I whispered. “There’s no out now.”
“Yes, there is. You were deceived, but you can find your way back. It won’t be easy and it will take time, but you are still a part of this community.”
“You’re saying I should trust Rose now, after what she did?”
“No. Trust no one. But you can repent. Do whatever it takes to realign yourself with them. Beg Rose for forgiveness from the congregation. Confess and beg for mercy. You have to show them you understand the error of your ways and swear you won’t stray from the path again.”
“Confess how?”
“Confess you were deceived. Denounce the boy and his lies. You have to prove your faithfulness to the Holy Family.” Bobbie stroked the side of my head, her fingers warm and comforting. “Repent, Grace.”
I shook my head and released a sob.
“I know it’s hard, because a part of you loved Eli. He was a beautiful boy, and for all I know there was some good truth mixed in with everything else. But even a little poison spoils the batch, right? You have to take responsibility for what you’ve done and repent. It’s the only way.”
I sobbed quietly, knowing everything she said was true. I had wandered too far from what I knew, and it had cost me so much already. The only path now was to return.
“Repent,” Bobbie said, her voice calm and sweet. “And I will be here.”
“Always?” I asked in my misery.
“Always.”
Chapter
Thirty-Two
THEY CAME FOR ME AN HOUR LATER. I WAS STILL curled on the floor in my misery. Bobbie had stayed with me, stroking my head and shoulders, easing my loneliness, whispering the truth I needed to hear.
Repent, Grace.
Denounce Eli’s heresy.
Return to the faith. It’s the only way.
By the time Marshall and Tanner hauled me off my cell floor and yanked me up the stairs, I knew what I had to do to ensure my safety and the safety of the child inside me. No more wandering from the path, no more questioning the truths I already knew. I would wholeheartedly give myself back to the laws of God.
I was escorted across the town center. The single paved street was nearly abandoned. Thoughts of what the others had seen, watching Eli’s death, made my stomach turn, and I forced myself to keep my gaze forward. Nothing could interfere with my resolve.
I was led to the church and through the double wooden doors. The pews were empty, a sight I didn’t often see. Rose stood in the center, just before the stage, her fingers woven together in front of her. Her eyes were directed at me alone, her face cold.
Behind her, seated on the stage in six chairs, were the members of Haven Valley’s council. Harrison and Andrew were among them. I dared a glance at Andrew only to see that he wouldn’t even lift his eyes to look at me. I was suddenly aware of how filthy I was, having spent the night in their prison. Would Andrew ever be able to look at me again without seeing me like this?
Marshall and Tanner guided me to stand before Rose but held my arms in their firm grasp. Maybe they thought I was strong enough to make a run for it. Unable to look Rose in the eyes, I shifted my gaze to the hem of her skirt.
“You’ve been summoned here today to stand trial for the sins you’ve committed against this community and God,” Rose said. “Do you understand what these transgressions are?”
I nodded, eyes still lowered in submission.
“You aided a Fury who nearly destroyed our holy community. You lied to all of us. You gave yourself over to his heresy and then stood by his side in defiance of the sound doctrine that protects u
s all from sin.”
I swallowed, doing my best to maintain control of my emotions as she heaped on the judgment.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
I lifted my eyes to her face but kept them trained on her cheek so I didn’t have to look directly at her. I didn’t know what to say, how to even begin to explain myself. Everything I thought of sounded like insanity.
Repent, Grace, Bobbie’s voice whispered inside my head. With a quick flick of my eyes to the right, I saw her standing along the side wall.
Do whatever it takes to realign yourself with them.
I returned my gaze to Rose, but before I could say anything she spoke again. “This level of deception is truly something I never would have expected from you.”
My eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“We are far beyond sorry,” Rose said. I could feel the sharp edge to her words. As if they could reach out and cut my skin.
Denounce the boy’s heresy, Bobbie said. You have to prove your faithfulness.
“I was led astray by the boy’s lies,” I began. “That doesn’t excuse my actions, but I see so clearly now how blind I was.” Something switched inside me, and the instinct to protect myself rose up. It was as if Bobbie had taken over.
“He lied to me, led me to believe what I was doing was godly and good.” I paused, letting myself accept my own words. “I see now how foolish I was to believe him. I don’t even know why I did. He tricked me, and I feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed.” My bottom lip was quivering and I could feel a cool tear slip down my cheek.
Good, Grace. Confess. Beg forgiveness.
“I betrayed you all and threatened our community. And I’ll do whatever’s necessary to show my repentance.”
I looked up at the council. They were faces I knew and respected. Rebecca’s aged brown eyes, Colin’s hard thin mouth, brothers Peter and Donald with their matching stern expressions. I prayed they would remember me as I had been.
“I will face whatever consequences you deem fit. I wish to return to my faith here. To be made pure and holy again.”
Andrew was finally looking at me, and I addressed him directly. “I’m truly sorry for what I’ve done. I beg you to forgive me.” The last few words barely made it out in a whisper, and I thought I saw empathy cross Andrew’s face.
I kept my eyes on him, longing to return to the days when he looked at me with fondness. Reminded again how cruel I’d been to reject his desire for me. If given another chance, I would cherish his affection.
“What you’re asking is difficult,” Rose said. “The offense of heresy is an offense against God himself and requires punishment. Yes, he punished Jesus on our behalf, but that grace isn’t free. You must align to the truth to receive it. And aligning to the truth is best assured if we fear punishment. We fear punishment when we’ve experienced it ourselves. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I understand,” I said.
“Do you?” she questioned.
“I repent.”
“Of course you say you repent. Anyone would. But true repentance only happens in great fear of God’s holy wrath! Do you have any idea just how deep the Fury’s deception runs already? Just a few words from that boy, and now it will take great vigilance to cleanse the hearts of our community.”
“The boy, not Grace, was a Fury,” Andrew said. “I won’t defend her part in this, but falling victim to deception is different from being sin itself.”
I wanted to rush to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
“Would you be so forgiving if she wasn’t carrying your child?” Rose demanded. It was clear she was in no mood to show mercy. She turned back to me. “Do you believe you can align to the truth without being punished?”
I thought about it a moment, knowing my answer could get me killed. “I will do whatever is required to regain my good standing with God,” I said.
Rose considered this, and after a moment she stepped forward until her face was only inches from mine. “I let you into my home, let you watch my children, and in the midst of it all you betrayed me,” she whispered, her tone harsh and cruel. “Hear me clearly, little girl. If you ever betray me again, I will not hesitate to kill you, unborn baby or not. Do you understand?”
I was too terrified to reply with words, so I just nodded.
After another tense moment, Rose stepped back. “The punishment must be severe enough to deter others from even considering deception. We are nearing the end and must be more vigilant now than ever.” A beat. “We will administer the cleansing ceremony.”
I’d never heard of such a thing, but from the somber faces of the council members, I hated to think what it entailed.
“And what of the child?” Andrew asked.
“God will spare the child if it’s his will,” Rose snapped.
Rebecca and Colin shared a glance, then offered approving nods. One by one, the others followed suit. The last nod came from Andrew. My fate was sealed.
“Her mother, Julianna, will also be held to the same standards of accountability,” Rose said. “She lied on behalf of her daughter, preventing us from discovering the truth. In my mind her crimes are just as severe.”
My mother? I almost cried out in objection.
Say nothing, Grace, Bobbie said. You’ll only make things worse. It’s out of your control now.
So I said nothing.
“The ceremony will be held at dusk,” Rose said. “Under the eyes of the council, Grace and Julianna will learn to fear God.”
THEY CAME FOR ME AGAIN AN HOUR BEFORE SUNSET. This time Tanner and Marshall instructed me to strip. They doused me in freezing water and dressed me in a thin, coarse gown with sleeves that stopped at my elbows and a hem that skimmed the tops of my feet. I was filled with embarrassment and shame. These were men I knew. Men I had grown up with.
They led me out into the freezing evening air to the northern perimeter. The council was already there, as well as my brother, all standing beside Rose, eyes fixed forward. They’d erected a tall wooden frame—two thick round poles topped by a heavy crossbeam—just inside the perimeter. The frame was stabilized by weighted sandbags. Hanging from the top beam were two thick ropes, ending about five feet from the ground.
Red ropes.
It looked like they’d built the whole thing just for me and my mother.
Claude stood by the right post. He was holding something, but I couldn’t see what. I was shivering in the wet gown, but fear of pain pushed the cold away.
“Leave her there, Tanner,” Rose instructed with a nod. He stopped me five paces from her. Their eyes shifted to my right, and I looked to see my mother being steered toward me, dressed in a similar gown.
A chill washed down my back. The reality of our predicament was almost too much for me to bear. This was my doing. All of it! I should never have gone beyond the red rope!
My mother saw me and her face softened. She looked tired, eyes swollen, skin pale. Then she was beside me, facing the council.
“Mother, I—” I whispered.
“No, sweetheart.”
“Silence!” Rose turned to face the council. “Tonight we witness the first cleansing ceremony, a measure put into place to correct the most dire offenses. For those gathered, let us remember the great cost of betraying the Christian faith and the pain it inflicts on those we love.”
She faced my mother and me. “Let the wounds you receive tonight and the scars they leave remind you of God’s wrath. May they instill in you forevermore a fear of straying from his righteousness.”
She nodded at someone behind me. “Grace first.”
Strong hands seized my arms and propelled me toward the structure. It was only then, as Claude stepped forward, that I saw what he held. It was a whip made from cord of the same red rope, bound tight at the end like a serpent’s tail.
I don’t know what I had expected, but the sight of that coiled red whip filled me with revulsion and I instinctively
jerked back, digging my heels in.
“You can’t!” my mother cried. “She’s pregnant!”
“God’s wrath plays no favorites,” Rose said. But I could hear fear in her voice as well.
Tanner and Marshall pushed me forward. They yanked my arms up to meet one of the hanging ropes and began tying my wrists to it. Pain ran down my arms, but I could hardly feel it through my panic.
My mother was beside herself. “Please, you can’t! The baby . . .”
“Gag her!”
I could hear my mother thrashing. “Please, you can’t do this to her!” She issued a muffled cry, then broke free for a moment. “Wait, please,” she cried. “Let me take her punishment!”
I jerked my head around. “No, Mother . . .”
“Let me take her punishment! I’m responsible. I’m her mother. I should have known. If I’d done my duty, she never would have gone to the boy!”
Rose held up her hand. “You believe taking your daughter’s punishment will cleanse her? She has to be held accountable for her own sin.”
“The memory of my pain will be punishment enough for her,” my mother begged. “Please, show her mercy and let me take her place. It’s the Christian way.”
“Mother, no, stop this!” I cried out, but now I was the one being ignored.
“Taking Grace’s punishment will not excuse you from your own,” Rose said.
“I will endure both hers and mine,” my mother said.
“No, I will take my own punishment,” I cried.
“One more word from you and I’ll have you both whipped to death!” Rose screamed at me.
This wasn’t the Rose I knew. She was as terrified as she was enraged.
She turned back to my mother. “You understand what you’re asking?” she clarified. “Forty lashes might kill you.”
“Yes,” my mother said. “But Grace is with child!”
The moment she spoke those words, I was afraid that Rose would agree. She treasured the unborn and would protect them if there was a way.
Dear God. I was the only guilty party here, and now my mother, who would never harm a fly, was going to pay for my mistakes. This couldn’t be happening!
