She glanced down as Elizabeth extended a black velvet pouch to her. She hesitated, but then accepted the pouch, surprised by the weight of it. Reaching inside, she came out with a piece of jewelry and what looked like a solid gold brick the size of her forearm, heavy and solid. Her eyes widened as she turned it over in her hands and realized it was real. The jewelry was real, too—a golden medallion on a slim chain. The pendant made up the Guardian symbol—the cross, olive branch, and dove within a gleaming circle.
“What is this?” she asked.
“Those are the tools you need to complete your transition as a Guardian, should you decide to become one.”
“Whoa, wait, what?” Jack fumbled as he glanced from Elizabeth, to the gold, then Addison, and back again. “How is that even possible? Addison is a Naphil.”
Elizabeth lifted her chin a notch. “Not just any Naphil. Why do you think He chose her? She has the best of both worlds in her. Her human side is far from ordinary, and if she chooses to take the mark of the Guardian, she will be endowed with the same inner light you carry.”
“Why would anyone allow me to become a Guardian?” Addison questioned, confused as she studied the objects in her hand. “Didn’t you hear what I just said about my dark thoughts and my sadistic nature? I am not Guardian material.”
Elizabeth’s bony fingers found her face in a tight grasp. Her eyes grew wide as she leaned close, and for a moment, a woman Addison had never known came to the surface. A woman with purpose.
“You listen to me, Addison Monroe. You are a Guardian! I don’t give a damn who your father is; I am your mother, and we come from a long line of light bearers. If you take the mark and become a Guardian, it will bring balance. The light will chase Eligos away and you will have peace. Darkness cannot reside where there is light … you need the light, Addison. It will save you.”
Addison was flabbergasted. “Is that all it took, all this time? Why didn’t you tell me all this before? I could have taken the mark years ago and saved myself so much pain. Why now?”
“You had to be willing,” Elizabeth insisted. “I always believed I could have avoided so much heartache if I’d waited until I was older to take the mark—when I would have been old enough to understand its importance and treat it with the respect it deserved. Maybe then, none of this would have happened. Now that you know the stakes, and the truth, you decide. You can embrace the light, Addison, and do what I never had the courage to do.”
Addison stared down at the medallion in her palm, her thumb tracing the smooth gold. Jack cleared his throat beside her.
“I will have to consult Reniel on this, but it sounds like the truth,” he said. “It makes sense when you think about it. It would be an advantage for you, Addison, whether you decide to help us find the Seal of Solomon or not. It could help you to combat the darkness enough to live a normal life.”
Dropping the items back into the velvet bag, Addison turned to her mother. “Thank you for telling me the truth.”
Elizabeth smiled, showcasing her tar-stained teeth. Addison could remember a time when her mother had been pretty. As a little girl, she’d thought Elizabeth the most beautiful woman in the world, even with the dark circles under her eyes and disheveled hair. Guilt and drugs had withered her away to nothing. Despite her hurt and anger, she found herself pitying the woman again.
“I’m glad you know. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that it’s all out in the open.”
Addison shrugged. “It helps.” She turned to leave, but paused, swiveling back once more. “Mama?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“What was your power?” Curiosity was a strange thing. Even when Addison should have had nothing left to say to her mother, the question just wouldn’t leave her alone. She had to know. She wanted to believe a different woman had existed once … a woman with a cause and a purpose. “When you were a Guardian, what was your ability?”
Another tear slipped from Elizabeth’s eye and clung to the edge of her chin. Her smile wobbled and her answer came out on a sob.
“I used to fly. Yeah … that was my gift. I could fly.”
10
Things That Matter
Jack sat on the edge of the couch with his head between his hands. The apartment had gone quiet for the night, but his thoughts were anything but serene. His mind raced with all they’d learned tonight. There was still so much he didn’t understand. If Elizabeth had told the truth, then Addison could become a Guardian, too. Who knew what kind of power that would unleash from the depths of her soul?
For that matter, he still had no idea what the scope of her abilities encompassed. He had a feeling she didn’t quite know herself. She’d been too busy holding her dark thoughts at bay to explore her gifts.
He’d put in a call to Reniel as soon as they’d arrived back home, and he expected the angel first thing in the morning. For now, they could do nothing except try to get a good night’s sleep, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t force his mind to shut down. The scenes from Elizabeth’s trailer kept replaying themselves over and over again—the look on Addison’s face as the truth finally came out; the pain in her eyes as she realized that her mother had really never wanted her; the hope that flared when she encountered the option to become something greater, to become a Guardian.
While Micah had finished off his six-pack and then stumbled into his room where he closed the door and passed out, Jack had been sitting on the couch for hours, just staring off into space. In the beginning, this mission had been all about Eligos for him. Whatever it took to take down the Great Duke and his ten, he would do, without question.
Now, he found himself tangled up in this web of Addison’s life. A place he didn’t want to be. Since learning about the Guardians and taking up their cause as his own, nothing had been the same for him. With Tracy, he’d though he’d found something—someone—to anchor him, to remind him beauty and laughter and love could be found in the world. It had given him hope that there could be life beyond this one mission that had consumed his entire adult life.
Now here came Addison, who required protection, but needed so much more. She was an angry, insecure mess, but no matter how much Jack tried to pretend it didn’t strike a chord with him, it did. No matter how much he tried to pretend he didn’t care about her beyond what she meant to their mission, deep down, he did.
That’s why he stood and made his way down the hall to his bedroom. The door was closed, but he could see the glow of the light from the threshold. She must still be awake.
He paused with his hand poised to knock and asked himself what he could be thinking. Nothing mattered except convincing her to go along with the plan, which could have waited until the next morning with Reniel around for backup. That rationale did nothing to sway him from his determination to know that she was all right. He had to know how she was dealing with what had just happened. He’d told her earlier that she didn’t have to do it all alone, and he’d meant it.
Snapping out of his wandering thoughts, he knocked.
“Come in,” her muffled voice said through the door.
He turned the knob and stepped inside, finding her seated cross-legged on the floor with the bag she’d taken from her apartment upended beside her. Notebooks, pens, and pencils lay scattered around her, one of them open at her feet. She straightened, her hair a cascade of flames around her shoulders, a few strands falling into her eyes.
“Hey,” he said, leaning against the doorframe. His voice sounded gruffer than he’d intended, but it matched his mood. “I just wanted to check on you. What happened back there at your mom’s house … well, I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
She unfolded her long legs and stood, causing his breath to catch in his throat. She wore another one of his T-shirts and it just covered her thighs. All that tanned, supple skin bared to his view should have been a sin … hell, it had to be since all he could think about was finding out what she had on underneath. If anyt
hing. He swallowed, his throat gone dry.
“I’m fine.” She shrugged, though she didn’t quite meet his gaze.
He came into the room, though he kept his hands clasped behind his back to refrain from touching her, the temptation far too great. “I don’t believe that.”
She scowled at him, hands going to her hips—a gesture that showcased her curvy shape beneath the oversized shirt. “What do you want me to do? Fall into a heap on the floor and cry? Scream and yell? Throw things?”
He shrugged. “If it helps. I told you, you don’t have to do this alone.”
“See, I can’t lose control,” she argued, beginning to pace, heedless to the notebooks she kicked aside as she moved. “When I lose control, things break, people get hurt … I’m calm right now because I’m journaling, and that helps keep me grounded. I can pour all of that out onto the pages, and when I’m done, I feel better and think clearer.”
“You think journaling will help you now?” His gaze flitted to the open notebook on the floor. On the pristine white pages, her rounded, feminine handwriting stood out in blue ink.
“It helps me think, and I need that right now. Mama gave me a lot to think about, on top of all I learned from you guys and Elle.”
He nodded. “It helps you sort through your thoughts. I get that. Would you mind if I asked where your head is at? It’s just that Reniel will be here in the morning and he’s going to ask. I’d like to know what to tell him.”
Her shoulders slumped and she sat down on the bed, her hands clasped tight in her lap. “You know what’s funny about all this?” she mused, staring up at him. “I’ve spent so much time wishing that I mattered to someone, that I was important. I finally get my wish, and I don’t know what to do with it. I mean, here I am, just a stripper from the trailer park, and the balance in the spiritual world is relying on me and my decisions. It’s …”
“Overwhelming,” he supplied when she trailed off. “Right?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “On top of that, my mom drops this bombshell about me being able to becoming a Guardian. What am I supposed to do with that?”
He joined her on the bed, bracing his hands on the edge of the mattress. “Accept it if you want. Put it aside if you don’t.”
She shook her head, hiding her face from him as her hair fell forward to shield it. “That’s just it. I know that I want it. This is my chance to do something good, to be something other than a stripper and the daughter of a junkie. But, in the back of my mind, I know I’d never be good enough. I mean, not for the Guardian part, anyway. I’ve already decided I’m going to help you guys find the Seal of Solomon. I’m going to wear it, and use it, and do whatever needs to be done to help send those demons back to Hell where they belong.”
He should have been sighing with relief. Her agreement to wield the seal was all he should have cared about. All the same, he couldn’t turn his thoughts away from the prospect of a Guardianship for Addison.
“Addison Monroe,” he said, studying her profile—or rather, the little bit of it he could see with her hair shadowing her face, “what has life done to you that you’re so hard on yourself? Who told you you weren’t worthy of anything good?”
A lone tear trailed down to her jaw, hanging on the end before falling off and landing on the back of her hand. She didn’t sob; she didn’t wail; she didn’t so much as hiccup, but the sight of that lone tear broke Jack’s heart.
“Everyone,” she whispered. She pulled her knees against her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
It was the perfect picture of what Addison’s life had been—she comforted herself because she had no one else.
Jack was drawn to her then, sliding across the mattress toward her. It wasn’t right, knowing someone had never been held when sad, or comforted when frustrated. He was almost afraid to touch her, not sure what her reaction would be. Yet, he couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d tried. His hand reached, and his fingertips encountered her chin, tilting it until she looked at him. She held the rest of her tears back. They formed clear pools, causing her hazel eyes to glitter like brilliant gold.
“I don’t believe that,” he whispered with a smile, one thumb catching a stray tear as it escaped. “I don’t believe that for one moment.”
“You don’t even know me,” she replied, her voice low and raspy with emotion.
“I know enough,” he countered, his thumb still stroking her cheek in a slow caress. Her skin felt unbelievably soft. “I know that you’ve been through a lot and never let it tear you down. I know that a weaker person would have folded under the kind of torment Eligos has put you through. Look at what it did to your mother. She turned to drugs to escape, and it broke her. But you fought and never stopped fighting. I know that you take your clothes off for money, not because you’re a bad person … but because you know it’s a means to an end and that no one can objectify you unless you let them. I know that someday, you’re going to have a diploma with your name on it to prove that it wasn’t all for nothing. I know that you are the kind of person that I have always wanted to be but never felt like I ever measured up. So don’t you ever let me hear you say that you are nothing, Addison. You are someone. You are important. You matter … to me.”
Her eyes grew wide, as if startled. As if she wanted to jump up and run because she didn’t know how to handle what he’d just said. And why should she know how? Jack would be willing to bet that no one had ever told her they loved her. No one had ever made her feel like she was worth anything. That knowledge made him want to be the one to give that to her. So, he did the one thing he could think of to show her with actions what he’d been trying to say with words. He leaned forward, his hand still cupping her face, and kissed her.
It happened fast; a slight brush of his lips over hers, but it caused the surface of his skin to tingle. He paused at the corner of her mouth, his open eyes burning into hers. A silent exchange, and then … a whisper of a moment in which Addison’s breathy sigh skimmed his cheek. With a low whimper, she leaned into him, meeting his parted lips with her own.
Jack’s fingers traced the path of her jawline back until he found her neck and gripped the nape. Strands of her hair tangled around his fingers and he clutched them, angling her for better access. Her arms came up around him and one of her hands stroked the back of his neck, her fingernails causing a tremor to roll down his spine.
The kiss felt languid and slow, gentle, with an urgency that boiled just beneath the surface. She tasted sweet to him, a bit minty, and oh so addicting. He deepened the kiss, moving even closer to her on the bed, his free hand finding her waist and pulling her body up against his. She came without hesitation, half on his lap and half on the bed as she melded her chest to his and drank from his mouth. She offered her tongue, and he accepted it, groaning deep in his chest as the taste of her became so intense that his head began to spin. He held on to her tight, his fingers tangling in her hair and the fabric of her t-shirt. Her hold on his neck loosened and then her hands found his chest, warm and sure as they explored the width of him from shoulder to shoulder. Jack’s muscles tensed in response, his blood humming in his veins and shooting straight down to his groin.
“Well, well,” Micah drawled from the open doorway.
His voice resonated as loud as a crack of thunder in the quiet of the room, causing them both to flinch and back away from each other. Twin pink spots appeared on Addison’s cheeks, Jack’s own neck heating in embarrassment and annoyance as he turned to find Micah leaning against the door frame, watching them with amusement in his eyes.
“Am I gonna have to get you two a chaperone?”
Jack took a deep breath and let out a slow exhale. He was usually happy for Micah’s company, but just then, he could have done without it. He could have also done without the pointed look his partner directed at him.
“No, but you can close the door and leave,” Addison snapped. “We were talking.”
Micah gave a lazy shrug and grinned. “Didn’t
your mama ever teach you not to talk with your mouth full?”
Jack leapt to his feet then, his fists curled as he advanced on Micah. “Okay, that’s enough. You’re drunk, man. Go back to bed.”
Micah pressed one massive hand to Jack’s chest and pushed him back with little effort, a subtle reminder of who was the strongest. When Micah got drunk, he turned into a brawler who popped off at the slightest provocation; which was never good for whoever got on his bad side.
“I was just headed to the bathroom,” he said, giving Addison a little wink over Jack’s shoulder. “Go easy on my neg, cher. He tries to play it cool, but he’s the sensitive type.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Addison said, seething with barely contained annoyance.
“And you,” Micah clapped him on the shoulder with a boisterous laugh. “Safety first, podna. I don’t even know what you’d call a Guardian and Naphil hybrid baby, and I doubt you wanna find out.”
Turning, Micah reached out to steady himself against the door as he stumbled back out into the hall. Before long, the door to the bathroom slammed and the house grew quiet once more. Jack made sure to close the door before turning to face Addison. She had stood up, her fingers toying with the hem of her t-shirt as she studied him.
“Sorry about that,” he said with a sheepish grin. “When Micah gets drunk—”
“Don’t worry about it,” she insisted. “Drunk, I understand. Drunk, I can handle. Nice, good-looking guys kissing me and telling me I matter to them … not so much.”
He nodded, running one hand over his hair. “I get it.”
Addison stepped closer. “I don’t think you do,” she said with a slight smirk. “Thank you for that, Jack.”
“I don’t think a girl has ever thanked me for a kiss,” he quipped with a dry laugh.
“I didn’t mean for the kiss.” She nudged his shoulder as she laughed aloud.
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