They both stared at me. Helga looked like she was about to say something, but then she shut her mouth again.
Johan finally fessed up.
“Look, Ella, you know we love you. We just want what’s best for you…”
“I love you guys too, but I also know there’s some other reason why you’re telling me now. Where is this going?” I asked impatiently.
“We want you to go to Florence. We think you should,” Johan said calmly.
I exhaled and then took a deep breath. Relax.
“I don’t want to go. Besides, I can’t do that to you guys. Pretty soon it’s going to be really busy. Didn’t you tell me that summers are crazy around here, Johan?”
“Yeah, but even if you came back by mid-June, we’d be fine. We think this is a good opportunity for you. You should go,” he mused, scratching his beard.
“Ella,” Helga chimed in, taking my hand across the table. “This a great opportunity for you. This might be just what you need to figure out what you want to do.”
“I don’t want Ella to go!” Lieke yelled.
“See? You’re making her upset!”
“Stop finding excuses, child,” Helga spoke in a reprimanding tone, and for a second I thought she was talking to the child in the room, but instead it was directed at me. I flinched. She then turned to Lieke and most likely said something to reassure her, but I didn’t catch it because my head was filled with their words, and the thoughts that were forming in my head were reckless and exciting.
Luckily, the wiser part of me shut them down.
“I’m sorry. I can’t go. I don’t think it’s a good idea, and what about the au-pair agency, what about my visa? What if they find out?”
“They won’t,” Helga replied, sounding quite resolute. “They shouldn’t be aware of any issues unless we bring them up.” I thought she didn’t have anything else to add, but she looked at Johan again, looking for approval. He gave her a silent nod.
Helga turned to me again and said solemnly, “If you don’t go to Florence, we’ll call the agency and have you fired.”
Who would have imagined that sweet Helga and her burly husband Johan were going to play dirty? Well, kudos to them. They had me fooled. And I thought of them as family!
I left their apartment dazed and confused. God, I wished I had been high and had made up our whole conversation. No such luck. The last thing they had told me was, “Yeah, you should take a walk; we know you have a lot to think about.”
I didn’t know where to go, so I started walking toward Ally’s townhouse.
When I got there, no one answered. Strange.
I sat on her doorsteps and texted her.
Ella: What up bitch? Where u at? Got a hot date?
Ally: Haha, I wish. Just grabbing a few groceries. What you up to?
Ella: Just sitting on your doorstep, literally.
Ally: Do you want to have dinner together?
Ella: Sorry, I already ate.
Ally: Ah, you suck. Be there in a few! I’ll eat a bite and then we’ll go out for some Ben & Jerry’s.
Ella: Sounds good.
I stared at my phone for a while, thinking about the ultimatum I had been given. I guess there was no time like the present to make this phone call.
The phone rang and rang, and I kept thinking it would eventually go to voicemail, but he picked up.
“About time,” he said, and I heard him laugh. I didn’t need to see his face to know he was grinning like a fool. I was grinning too, just hearing his voice. That’s all it took.
“You knew I was going to call?” I asked.
“Yes…I mean, no. I was hoping you’d call.”
“You were hoping? Do you mean you know nothing about the conspiracy against me?”
I heard him laugh. It had only been a few days, but his laughter was one of the things I had missed the most.
“Well…I know something about it. I didn’t encourage it, though. It was all their idea. I thought it was a bit harsh, to be honest.”
“It is!” I yelled. “Like, what the fuck, man! Is this for real?”
“Yeah, I had no hand in it. My strategy was going to be completely different.”
“You had a strategy?” I asked him, laughing. I was a bit surprised. After our last night together, I didn’t think he’d want to see me again.
“I did.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“What was your strategy going to be like?” I asked, curious.
“Well, it was more what I was going to say to you. I was going to ask you one last time to come see me, and I was going to tell you that no matter what you decided, I would always remember you fondly. We only spent a few weeks together, but you’re important to me, and I feel I’ve got you to thank for a lot of things…”
Wow. I was a little stunned.
I knew we held a special place in each other’s heart, but I had no idea he felt so strongly about me. Still, he didn’t say what things he had to thank me for, but I imagined it had to do with writing. Still, I wanted to know.
“What things do you have to thank me for?”
I heard him laugh again. It was infectious.
“Well, mainly for introducing me to the best pancake house in Amsterdam…”
“You jerk!” I yelled, joking.
“So, what have you decided?”
“I guess I’m coming to Florence,” I sighed.
“Man, you make it sound like you’ve just been sentenced to jail.”
“I’m kind of being pressured into making this decision. You know how I feel about that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied. It was obvious from the sound of his voice he wasn’t buying it. “You’ll take back everything you said once you get here. Then you’ll tell me you’ve been a fool, and you will thank me.”
“Okay. I guess we’ll see about that. What are you doing now?”
“I’m having dinner. By the river.”
“Lou Rivers by the river? Sounds like a joke,” I laughed.
“Laugh all you want. It’s beautiful here. The only thing I’m missing is some good company. When are you coming?”
“I’m not sure, but I imagine soon. It depends on how fast my employers want to get me out of their house.”
“Oh, cut them some slack. You know they care about you.”
“Oh, yes! I’ve seen how much they care!” I exclaimed.
“I care about you too, you know. A lot,” he said, suddenly serious.
“I know you do. I care about you too,” I replied.
Yeah, I cared about him, and I knew he did too, but suddenly the word care seemed just another four letter word for love. It sure felt like it.
Ally got back as soon as I was telling him goodbye on the phone.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“I guess I’m going to Italy.”
“Took you long enough,” she replied, grinning.
CHAPTER 13
The next couple days, we argued about when and how I was going to get there.
He insisted I should fly to Florence, while I was firm on my decision to travel by train. He said he needed me there as soon as possible. If I was going to give in and go to Italy, at least I wanted to do it on my terms. It would take me about eighteen hours to get there and travel all across Germany before I could get to my destination. I would actually have to buy a ticket for a sleeping cabin! I had never done anything like that before, and I was really excited at the thought. I reminded Lou he was accusing me just a few days ago of not trying out new things.
He wasn’t too happy, but he finally gave up. I got my ticket and everything that night after we talked on the phone.
Lieke wasn’t too happy when she caught wind I was leaving for a few weeks, but Helga distracted her by taking her to see her grandparents for a few days. They lived in the countryside about an hour and half from Amsterdam. When I stopped to think about it, I couldn’t believe the distance these people were going for me, just so that
I would do what they believed was in my best interest.
“Let me take you to the train station tomorrow,” Johan said.
“Thank you,” I replied, “but there’s no need. You guys are busy enough in the morning. I promise I’ll be back before you know it. And thank you again for letting me go. I know you could’ve said no, and I’m pretty sure if I ended up in a different place, I wouldn’t have been able to.”
“Of course we want you to go! This is a big opportunity for you! Maybe it will help you understand what you want to do with your life. Besides, you know that we think of you as family, right?” He stretched out his arms to give me a hug. I hugged him back and suddenly felt already melancholic. I was excited to see Lou, but these people were my support system. They were my family more than my blood family. No time like the present to let them know I loved them just as much.
“I think of you as my family too. I don’t know if I ever felt so much love and encouragement from my own family.”
My train ride was interesting, no doubt.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first two legs of my trip, the first train to Frankfurt, and the second one to Munich. I was on cloud nine when I left Amsterdam and excited like a little kid. Plus there was so much to see. Between people-watching and looking at the landscape outside my window, I didn’t know where to look. Sure, I got to see a lot of different people and tourists in Amsterdam every day, but living with Johan and Helga was like living in this microcosm. And Amsterdam sure wasn’t like New York City. Getting out and about, if only just in the train stations of a country I had only seen in geography books before, felt definitely different. I kept thinking Lou would have had a wonderful time if he had traveled by train. I was sure he’d have material for several songs. He had traveled by plane instead. I could have been there in a couple hours too. Sure, it sounded appealing, but I was happy with my decision.
I texted Lou a few times during the day, but his replies were always a little late. He said he had already started working in the studio, and he couldn’t wait for me to get there.
I got in my sleep cabin when I boarded the train in Munich. My childish excitement had mostly worn off, and I was so tired, I actually slept most of the night, only waking up briefly when the train would slow down in proximity of a station.
Lou had asked over and over to let him know what time I’d make it into town, but I hadn’t told him yet.
My train was going to arrive very early, around six in the morning, and I couldn’t bring myself to ask him to come and get me. I had gotten his address from him so that Johan and Helga could have it for “emergency reasons”; I googled it and was pretty confident I’d be able to get a taxi and get there. Maybe I would store my luggage at the station, find a bathroom to make myself presentable, and walk around Florence like a local. Maybe I would stop at a bar and have breakfast with a cappuccino and a cornetto, the Italian word for croissant.
When my alarm came on at five forty, I was sleepy and not ready to disembark the train; however, the sleepiness was soon replaced with the excitement I felt just thinking I’d soon see him again.
It didn’t take me long to spot him at the very end of the platform. I should have known he was going to find out what time I’d be arriving. I was glad to see him, but I was completely unprepared. The station was moderately busy, and a lot of people were trying to board the train I had just come off of. I made my way through the passengers and started pulling on my trolley.
He was just standing with his hands in his pockets, and even from far away, I could see the smile breaking across his face. He was wearing a gray hoodie with a white tee and a pair of jeans. By the time I was halfway to him, I had forgotten everything about my sleepiness and I was more concerned with how I looked and smelled. I had just spent about eighteen hours on three different trains. I wasn’t going to smell like roses, that’s for damn sure. I had brushed my teeth last night, but not this morning. My mouth felt pasty. How was I going to avoid kissing him?
Thankfully, when I got to him, his arms surrounded me, and he embraced me so tightly, he almost took the breath out of me. I didn’t even care. I missed him so badly these last few days; I couldn’t actually believe this was real. I had my arms around him, and my face in the crook of his neck. I inhaled the minty, clean smell of him, and he kissed me on my head. I groaned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, chuckling.
“My hair probably stinks! Don’t kiss my head! I have been on a train for almost a day!”
He laughed and pressed his mouth against my forehead.
“Don’t be silly. Besides, do you think I care?” he asked, looking at me.
He gave me one of those intense stares of his, the type that made me forget everything. I loved when he looked at me like that; I would have done anything he asked. I realized, somewhat begrudgingly, I had already done that. I had come all this way just for him. The only thing that made me feel better was that he looked as crazy about me as I was about him.
“And let’s not forget,” he said with a smirk, “coming on the train was all your idea. You could have been here in a couple of hours and saved yourself the trouble.”
I snuggled in the crook of his neck again, laying my head on his shoulder.
“It was great, actually. For the most part. I think you would have loved it too. It certainly counted as a life experience. You can’t tell me I’m not trying.”
“True,” he said almost in a whisper against my forehead. “Let’s go.”
I disentangled myself from him, and I saw him exhale deeply.
He took my luggage with one hand and gave me the other.
We took a taxi to the apartment I had heard so much about.
I just needed to shower and then I’d really make this apartment a lair of love. I bit my lip snickering at my own silly thoughts.
I tried to take in what I could see of the city from my window, but I was distracted by him. He had an arm stretched on the backseat, but he wasn’t touching me or holding me. He wasn’t even holding my hand anymore, and he hadn’t even tried kissing me, although that was for the best. He wasn’t even sitting next to me. There was a whole foot of space between us. This was definitely not like the Lou I remembered, who always found an excuse to hug me or kiss me.
I shrugged it off, thinking he was just trying to give me some space. He knew I was tired and had come a long way. Or maybe I really smelled, and he was trying to be nice about it.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised to find out that the “apartment” was the penthouse of an old and sophisticated looking building right by the river. I see a theme here, I thought.
When we got upstairs, after using an elevator that had to be at least a century old, the first thing that Lou showed me was the view. The “loft” was nothing like I had expected it to be. It had been completely renovated inside, and the style throughout the house was contemporary, not classic. Floor to ceiling windows provided a lot of light and gave me a peek of what was out there: a terrace filled with vases and vases of geraniums of every color imaginable and many other plants. When I stepped out on the terrace, it seemed to be a small oasis on top of a building. I was momentarily blinded by the light, and I couldn’t really see much besides flowers and plants. Lou took my hand, though, and walked me to the edge of the terrace.
Florence was greeting me, and she was showing off.
There was something breathtaking about seeing a place that had existed for a couple thousand years. So many of these buildings had been there for centuries, withstood wars and bombs. From here, it looked nothing like Amsterdam, and it was light years from a place like New York.
I could see the entire city stretched out in front of me: the Arno, which was the name of the nearby river—yes, I had looked up a few places before my trip—Ponte Vecchio, and on the other side of the river, I could see the dome of the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore and Palazzo Vecchio.
“Huh,” I said dumbfounded, still looking for words, “is this why everyon
e makes such a big deal about Italy?”
“I guess so. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked softly.
I nodded, and when I shot a glance his way, he was looking at the city as if this were the first time he had been out here. When his eyes met mine, he gave one of his sweet and genuine smiles, the ones that would always make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I felt that pull I had felt for him before, and if I didn’t need a shower so badly, I would have jumped his bones right here, on this terrace, in broad daylight.
“Do you want some coffee?” he asked, hands in his pocket, leaning his head toward the kitchen.
“Yes!”
“Then, later…” he said, stopping mid-sentence.
“Yes,” I just repeated without waiting for him to finish. Yes to everything he had in mind.
“Do you think we can go over the contract? We kind of need to start working as soon as possible.”
Oh. That.
Needless to say, I was a little disappointed. I thought he was making sweet, naughty allusions to all the things he wanted to do to me. I couldn’t deny it; I was a little hurt.
“Sure,” I just replied, trying to keep my voice steady.
“You probably want to shower…come, I’ll show you your room.”
My room?
CHAPTER 14
I was convinced Lou was mistaken. I was sure he meant our room, not my room, but as I watched him grab my things from the living room, I followed him down the hallway and past the room where he clearly had been sleeping. The bed was undone, and a few clothes were scattered on a chair in the corner; his guitar was propped against the wall. He showed me to my room, about the same size as his. A queen size bed with a tufted headboard and a white embroidered blanket dominated the space; the room had a modern looking dresser and a chair upholstered with a bright ikat print. On the opposite side of the door, there was a window where you could see a different view of the city.
I was still too shocked by the whole thing to say anything, and I watched Lou in a daze as he pointed out the towels on the dresser and explained to me that the rooms didn’t have attached bathrooms, but there was one at the other end of the hall.
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