The song faded away and the fairies left the stage. Ellendia leaned over and touched Serina’s face. “Are you all right? You look worried. Is it about Verath?”
She choked down a lump in her throat. “I’m well, Mother.” Was it true that her mother was connected to the elder males? It seemed wrong, somehow.
Ellendia smiled and kissed Serina’s forehead. “My beautiful, brilliant daughter. I love you. I am not as young as I used to be, and Verath likes to speak to the fairies who are...,” she cleared her throat, “older in years.”
“Oh, Mother, you’re not that old. We live forever. It’s not like—”
“We do not always live forever, Serina. Do not forget that.”
She was right. Serina looked away and fiddled with the blade of grass in her hands. Unlike humans, fairies were immortal. They did not, however, often choose to live forever. Many of them eventually entered the human realm where they were never heard from again. That was where they went to die a rich, satisfying death when they felt they had lived long enough—or, if they had committed a wrongdoing, where they were stripped of their magic and sent to live a life of sadness and pain, eventually dying alone.
The very idea made Serina’s mind fuzzy. How could the human world provide both kinds of death, and why would any fairy choose to die? This concept was beyond her comprehension. Instead of trying to figure it out, she smiled at her mother and said, “I love you too.” She took a long, deep breath and smelled the grass and the earth. The soft chatter of the fairies around them was its own music, but it died down when a group of male fairies entered the concert area. The concerts were not extremely formal affairs, and groups arrived and left at will. Serina watched them carefully.
Most of the males were tall and slender like the female fairies, but their bodies seemed stronger and more solid. They had stern eyes and high cheekbones, and they braided their long hair instead of keeping it loose as the females did. Serina liked to stare at each male’s single braid stretched down his back. Some had bright blond hair, some dark brown, some black. None had red hair like hers. For some reason, she hoped that when she saw a male fairy with red hair, he would be her father.
A group of younger males sat close to Serina and her mother and sister. They were dressed in dark greens and yellows, and one with a raven-black braid glanced in Serina’s direction and smiled as he settled himself on the ground. His cheeks were dimpled. He had a long, beautiful face with blue eyes that matched her dress. She blushed and looked away.
She had heard about what attraction might feel like between two fairies, but what she was feeling at the moment was ridiculous. Her tongue felt twisted inside her mouth, like a foreign object. Her mind sped to the day when she would be centuries older and finally visiting Rodowa with her mother. She had heard that she would be paired with a male fairy at that point, and who knew what would happen after that? The very thought made her heart skip in circles.
When she looked up at the raven-haired fairy, he was still smiling at her. His eyes twinkled before he turned to watch two female fairies step onto the stage. One was dressed in orange, the other in a sky-blue. Their gowns seemed to float against their skin as they raised their arms to hush the crowd.
“Death,” the fairy in blue said in a stern voice, and lowered her arms. Her blonde hair drifted behind her as a breeze swept across the stage.
The fairy in orange kept her arms raised. “Fire,” she said loudly, and lowered her arms.
“Dragon,” both fairies said in unison, and then broke into song. Dreamy sounds filled the area, and every fairy fell completely silent so they could listen to one of the oldest songs in existence.
Adjusting her dress, Serina stole a glance at the raven-haired fairy. He was looking at her too, his cheeks a little red before he looked back at the stage. It was inappropriate for males to give females any sort of attention before their three hundredth year. She was barely one hundred, finally entering adolescence, but still so far to go. Her shoulders drooped as she thought about how much time had to pass before she could even speak with a male.
Concentrating on the stage, she tried to forget about the fairy as she listened to the music. But the fairy songs, especially the old ones, were very long and convoluted and oftentimes hard to follow, so her concentration melted away. She heard something about fairies turning into dragons, about fire and death and hearts drawn to the earth, cold and evil. Dragons were fairies gone wrong, a way to live beyond death. But her mind was still on the raven-haired fairy. She thought about what his name might be. She stared at his profile as the females sang of a forest burning to ashes in a dragon’s fury.
There were many concerts after that one, but she never saw the raven-haired fairy again. She soon forgot him as the seasons rolled on, changing again and again. She reached her one hundred fiftieth year and gained more control over water while Aeline became more proficient with air... and fire. It was when Aeline began eating the fire that Serina truly worried.
“That will burn your mouth. Or your lungs. Aeline!”
Aeline danced around the forest and laughed. “It’s sweet!” she yelled. Her golden dress billowed behind her like a sugary cloud as a string of fire circled her body, winding in a coil until it reached her mouth and she swallowed pieces of it in gulps. All around them the air shivered with her music, for as she ate the fire, she sang and manipulated the air into the most tempting, illustrious sounds. Serina found herself captivated as she paced a short path. She was waiting for something terrible to happen. Aeline had never eaten fire before. In fact, Serina had never heard of any fairy eating fire. It seemed evil. Twisted. Like the dragons—purely evil creatures. They were rare, and Serina had never seen one. They lived only in the human realm, but as she watched her sister, she remembered the old songs about dragons, about how they originated from a fairy swarmed with fire and death. The very thought made her cringe.
“Aeline, you must stop!” she finally managed to scream. “I will bring water to put it out this instant if you don’t stop. I swear it.”
Aeline’s feet ground to a halt. She turned to face Serina, her eyes glowing a bright golden color, the same as her dress. The fire shimmered around her, awaiting her command as the air died to silence.
“You’re supposed to enjoy this,” she said as her shoulders slumped. “You must admit the music I’m creating is more beautiful than even what you hear at the elders’ concerts. Music is your favorite, and....” She stepped forward and lifted her hand to Serina. “I would very much like it, sister, if you tried this fire-guiding. It’s unexplainable. It’s—”
“No.” Serina folded her arms and shook her head. “I refuse. How are you not burning inside? You swallowed it. I don’t understand. This is dangerous and wrong. The elements are not for us to ingest like food! They are to bring beauty and light and growth to our world and the human realm. We are their companions, not their masters. Haven’t your instructors shown you that?”
“They haven’t shown me anything except weakness,” Aeline hissed. The fire seemed to grow around her. “You breathe air, don’t you? You drink water. How is that any different than eating fire?”
“Because breathing air and drinking water are necessary and natural!” Serina ground her teeth. She could see this entire argument was pointless. She had to take it in a different direction, so she took a deep breath and calmed herself. She stepped closer to her sister, who was still surrounded by fire. “I understand how much you love fire,” she said softly. “I’ve begun to love water like my own companion. Sometimes I wake up at night wishing it was surrounding me, and I’ll pull it from the air and smooth it across my skin like a blanket, but that is my element. I’m supposed to feel that way. Fire is not yours. You’re manipulating it in ways that have frightened me for years, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep quiet about it. I fear that if the male elders discover we’ve kept it a secret for so long, they’ll punish us.”
Her mind rolled through what she knew of punishment�
�of how the male elders stripped fairies of their powers and threw them into the human realm, and how they punished other species as well. She had heard the elves, in particular, were one of the most difficult to punish. They were the closest in resemblance to fairies, and although their magic was frail in comparison, their stubbornness required the harshest discipline if they crossed lines. In all reality, the male fairies frightened her more than anything because they were the ones who enforced rules and laws while the female fairies provided nurturing and compassion. This was why they lived separately—to keep the two untainted, for if too much compassion entered into discipline, it would only invite weakness.
“I’ve heard about what they do to those they punish—”
“Don’t go any further,” Aeline said, and lifted a hand as if to push Serina away. The light in her eyes began to dim. “You’ve made it clear why you’re upset. You’re afraid of power and authority, and even though you’re older than me, you’re more frightened of all of that than I have ever been.”
Serina stepped closer. The heat might have seared her skin, but she kept a thin barrier of moisture between herself and her sister. “Is that why you want to control fire? To control others? Is that what all this is about?”
Aeline blinked. Her eyes dimmed even more. “Not at all. It’s like a... sister... to me. That is all.”
Her heart sinking, Serina said, “Oh,” and stepped away. “Yet you still need me, your true sister, to keep it under the tightest control.”
The fire flickered. Aeline cleared her throat. “Yes, I still haven’t mastered it completely, you’re right.”
“I don’t think you ever will.”
Months later, Serina watched her mother peeling apples in the kitchen. The fruit was smooth and green. The skins fell into the bowl in long, thin coils, and they made Serina think about garden snakes gliding through water.
“What are you making, Mother?”
“Some tarts for the elder males,” she answered. “I’m visiting tomorrow, as you know.”
Serina sat down at the table and rested her chin in her hands. “Are you going to visit my father?”
Ellendia’s eyes fluttered. “Yes, I am. This is his favorite.”
“I wish you could tell me more about him.”
Clearing her throat, Ellendia put down her knife and sat across from Serina. “Oh, my dear, there are so many things I would love to tell you about your father. I think this is the age young fairies get the most curious about their other parent. You’re no exception.”
Serina took her mother’s hand and smiled. “I understand you can’t tell me much about him. I don’t understand why, but I don’t want to question you. It’s not... appropriate.”
Laughing, Ellendia stroked Serina’s cheek. “We fairies are so prim and proper—especially us females. It’s only that we fear the ultimate danger of becoming tainted. It is up to our species to keep balance, and we cannot be too careful in maintaining it.”
“I know, Mother. Is that why punishment is so severe? I’ve heard others talking about a trial last month that was particularly harsh. The elders—they beheaded one of us. They say when that happens in the human realm, the moon turns red. Does that mean there is no light? I can’t imagine a world with no light. I can’t imagine a world where—”
“Shhh, my dear. Don’t worry about these things.” Ellendia’s eyes glistened with moisture, and Serina had to fight to keep herself from pulling it away with her powers. It was not like her mother to shed tears. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that we fairies are strong for a reason. Here in our realm, we are not meant for selfishness of any kind. Everything we do is to preserve balance and well-being in both the human and fairy realms. If we do otherwise, we must be punished.”
Serina immediately thought of Aeline and guilt swept through her, making her shudder. She had to tell someone about the secret. Time flew by so quickly, but when she thought about the secret pressed so closely to her heart, it seemed to stop and linger for an eternity. It was like her own private fire building inside her, eating her from the inside out.
“Mother,” she said, “I... I....”
“Yes?”
Then the fire shrank, and she pulled away. “I don’t know. It’s nothing... I—” She stopped and stared at the bowl filled with apple skins. She felt snake-like and sneaky hiding such a secret from her mother for so long. The worst thing was that she didn’t understand why Aeline insisted on continuing down such an obviously treacherous path. The only solution seemed to be for Serina to tell her mother, but her tongue twisted in her mouth and she couldn’t find the words. Revealing the secret felt devious as well. It would break Aeline’s heart. Was it a matter of to whom she was most loyal? Everything about that question felt wrong.
“Serina, is there something you want to tell me?”
The walls closed in. “I only wanted to say how worried I am for the future. My water skills aren’t the best, and I don’t know how that will affect you and Aeline. I’ll never reach an instructor status, or create and train the elves, or be a true master like you. I’m doomed to menial tasks.”
Ellendia’s mouth lifted into a smile. “This has always been your greatest downfall, I’m afraid. Your confidence is the only thing holding you back. Aeline owns it in spades. I wish she could share some with you.”
Serina’s shoulders slumped. She was happy she had come up with something to keep herself from telling Aeline’s secret, but she still faced an uncomfortable conversation. “It’s not that I don’t have confidence,” she mumbled. “It’s that no matter how hard I try, my partnership with water doesn’t match up to what it should be. I practice every moment I can, but nothing seems to help.”
She thought about her most recent experience with a thundercloud. It had resulted in a flash flood across an already flooded plain near Rodowa. Perhaps her focus had waned because she was too busy trying to see past the dense forests that separated Rodowa from Lisadar. Her father lived over there, and that was all she had been able to think about. No wonder disaster ensued.
Ellendia picked up the knife and began peeling another apple. “You know,” she said with the smile still on her face, “I used to mess up these tarts every time I made them. Your father used to eat them, anyway. The crusts were too tough and the apples were too soft. Sometimes I added too much salt. My earth-guiding couldn’t help me, even though I was my instructor’s favorite pupil when I was in training. Time changes things.”
“I don’t bake, Mother.” She understood that in time her talents might improve, but who knew what Aeline would manage to do by then.
“You might bake one day.” Ellendia leaned forward to kiss Serina’s forehead. Her lips were warm and loving. For a moment, they made Serina’s fears melt away. “Think about what I said.”
The doorway to the human realm was a constant mystery to Serina. She had heard it was invisible, and that a fairy had to use their specific element to open it. Beyond that, she had no idea where it was located or how it worked. Most fairies she knew never talked about it—except for Aeline.
“I’m going to get to the human realm,” she said one windy afternoon in the forest. “I’ve only met a few elves, but I’ve heard the door enters into their forest. I wouldn’t be in any danger. They are the kindest souls, and they know we are superior. They’ll guide me.”
Serina put her hands on her hips and stared at her younger sister as if she had just grown horns. “You never cease to amaze me,” she said with a huff. “Going into the human realm without permission from the elders is strictly forbidden. I don’t care if the elves are there to help you on the other side. Knowing them, they’ll push you right back here into Lisadar, where you’ll most certainly be punished. Why would you want to go to the human realm, anyway?” She narrowed her eyes in an attempt to make herself look stern, but it wasn’t working.
Aeline puffed out her chest and swished her skirt as she stepped up to Serina. “Because I want to live my life with
out all these rules and limits, that’s why. Don’t you? Aren’t you sick and tired of being pushed around by our instructors and the elders? Aren’t you tired of waiting to visit Rodowa until you reach your three hundredth year? Aren’t you worried you’ll be paired with a male who doesn’t suit you?” Her thin finger poked at Serina’s chest. “I’ve seen you at the concerts and all that desire in your eyes when certain males cross your path. Admit it, Serina. You’ll die if you end up with any fairy you cannot love.”
Serina swallowed. Her chest hurt where Aeline had poked her, but only because it had been like the truth jabbing at her instead of a finger. “Who says I’ll be paired with a male I can’t love? Mother loves my father—and your father too, whoever he is. We have multiple chances to find love.”
“It’s all a matter of chance,” Aeline answered with a shrug, “and we’re only paired in order to have a child—if we are lucky enough to be chosen for that! Mother was a rare exception to have both of us. Love is a happenstance here, and that is all. How can you live with that? We are meant to be happy, and I see little of that here in this flat world filled only with light and selflessness. I want to experience what the elves experience. I want darkness and pain and hunger. I want fire to mean something when it burns in the black night. I want to kiss a man or an elf, or even a fairy, and feel his heart beat with mine. I want to live, Serina!”
Serina’s breath caught in her throat as Aeline twirled away from her and began to dance. The wind whipped her dark hair around her face, and her yellow dress made snapping sounds around her legs. Her words were enough to get her beheaded. She had no regard for any of the fairy laws or their purpose for balance. Somehow, selfishness had invaded her heart like an insatiable worm. The worst thing of all was how she managed to keep it all a secret from everyone else. Ellendia never saw anything wrong, nor did any of the instructors or other fairies. Watching her dance around the trees, Serina decided she should tell Aeline’s secret for her own good. Perhaps if she was punished early enough in her life, she could be brought back. Perhaps....
Bonded: Three Fairy Tales, One Bond Page 26
