“I love you, Aeline,” she said in a half-whimper, remembering the day Aeline was born, how she had yawned in her mother’s arms and then opened her eyes. Why didn’t Aeline feel the same love? The only love that made sense in Serina’s life was Lief’s.
Aeline raised her arms. “Don’t make this harder than it already is. Those sprites will drop to the ground soon enough. Such magic will drain them.”
As if on cue, Orla’s golden wings slowed to a halt. She gave Serina a pained expression and drifted to the ground like a twirling leaf. The other two did the same, landing on the smooth stones, broken butterflies. Resisting the urge to bend over and scoop them into her hands, Serina lifted her arms and pulled more water from the pond. Swirling it around herself, she faced Aeline. “Why do you think killing me will change anything?”
Aeline laughed and began to pace. As she walked, the material of her dress moved enough for Serina to notice the roundness of her belly. Aeline’s laugh faded. “My child is a gift to the humans,” she said with a triumphant smile. “She will bring pure fairy magic to their bloodline. It was a miracle she was conceived without magic, but it happened, and I will not let anything change that. You say you promise you will never let harm come to me or this child, but I will never trust you completely... so I must get rid of you.” She looked up at the sky. “This is for the greater good,” she said almost reverently, then returned her focus to Serina. “And you know it.”
Serina opened her mouth to retort, but remembered Lief’s words. I wonder if we are meant to fade away, if the humans are meant to govern their own balance, if fairies are holding them back.
She could say nothing. She looked down at the sprites. The water swirling around her began to fall.
“Giving up already?” Aeline laughed. “So be it.” A wicked song left her throat. It was filled with grief and pain and anger so hot it felt like boiling liquid in Serina’s ears. She looked up to see white fire shooting toward her. It looked like the fire Verath had used to punish her, but it was different when it hit her. It was venom. It was hate. She began to scream, but it was a scream that came from the core of her soul, a place that had refused to believe what Aeline truly was until that moment.
Serina!
Her heart leapt into her throat. Lief. Spinning around, she saw him through the searing white heat. If she was going to fight, it would not be for herself, but for him. He was feeling everything she was feeling. She couldn’t do this to him. She needed him. She needed to be with him that frozen morning with frost drifting around them like snow. She needed his strength, his love, his courage. His face twisted with rage as he raised a hand toward Serina and attempted to pull the fire away from her, but his efforts seemed wasted. The fire resisted.
“You are too weak,” Aeline hissed at him. “You will meet the—”
“Quiet!” Lief growled as he managed to pull a tiny bit of fire from Serina, who had fallen to her knees in pain. Somehow, he swirled the white fire into a ball so fierce it looked like a miniature sun. Hurling it toward Aeline, he began gathering more tiny bits of white flame from Serina.
I am sorry I cannot pull it completely away from you, he said. I will do what I can, Serina—whatever I can. I managed to get away from the king, but I would not be surprised to see him soon. We must hurry.
He allowed her into his mind, then, and she rested her cheek against the ground. The stones felt cool on her seared skin. As Lief battled Aeline, she saw the light inside of him. It was brighter than the guard’s had been. It was like a garden of brilliant flowers, each one a star blossoming over and over.
I love you, Serina. I’ve seen the light inside you too. It is exquisite. That is why the fairies come to the humans—to find those with the brightest light, but we must first find our own. We must—
Serina looked up to see him fighting Aeline’s fire with his own fire. But then he stopped as an arrow pierced his back, driving itself straight into his heart.
An arrow. The king.
He was on his horse with his mounted guards forming an arc behind him. His crown shone fiercely on his head. Serina reached toward Lief as he looked down at her. Fire hit him in the chest as he fell to the ground an arm’s length away from Serina. She could not reach him. She felt his heart slowing, and although she knew the arrow itself would not kill him completely, the fire would be what took his life. He tried to sever the connection between them so she would not have to feel him slipping away, but she fought him. She needed to stay with him every last second. Their eyes met, his body burning just like hers, his heart turning cold as it stopped.
“If we were in Lisadar,” she cried, still reaching for him, “you would not die. There is no death there.”
Inside, she curled into emptiness. Lief hadn’t told her about the pain of a broken bond. She no longer felt the fire. She was consumed by an ache deeper than she had ever imagined as her soul unstitched itself from his, like muscle pulling away from bone. She could not live this way. This pain. So raw and fierce. Its emptiness consumed her, and she shrieked with what felt like anger and sorrow wrapped together, burning.
“I can’t get into your mind,” Aeline said as she approached Serina. “Imagine what I went through when I discovered how I could read humans’ thoughts. I didn’t know I could read a fairy’s thoughts until our mother came. But you are strong... or you are dying.”
Serina doubted it was because she was strong. She saw the hem of Aeline’s dress. It was almost brighter than the fire consuming her, and it was the last thing she saw before she opened her mouth to shriek one more time. Darkness flooded her mind. Fire burned down her throat. It was then that she remembered the stars, calling to them for help as she took her last breath.
Opening her eyes, Serina wondered if Aeline had stopped the fire and saved her. She felt whole, but cold, as if her blood had turned to ice in her veins. There was no light. No pond. No stones. No Lief.
Shifting across whatever was beneath her, she tried to sit up. Her neck was thick and stiff and her eyes took longer to blink than normal. Even her breaths seemed slow.
“This is interesting,” a voice said somewhere to her left. She stirred and tried to blink away the brightness before her, but it wouldn’t budge. All she could make out was a dark figure in the distance. The voice was familiar. It made her heart speed, but when she tried to open her mouth to speak, nothing happened. The words were there. Who are you? What has happened? But she could not force them to her tongue.
“If you wish to speak, Serina, I can hear your thoughts.”
A cry rose in her throat. Verath. He had found her. Perhaps he had already killed Aeline. The very thought made her curl into a ball, but it was then that she noticed a tail... with scales. It was wrapped around her body like a snake. She moved quickly, trying to get away from it, but it followed her, flicking about in a frenzy.
It’s yours, Verath said inside her mind. You are not what you once were.
Her breaths grew ragged. They felt hot in her throat, like fire. She lifted her hands up to her face and stopped cold.
Claws, sharp and yellow.
More scales, thick, leathery plates the color of skin when it has grown too cold—almost violet. She dared not scream for fear fire would shoot from her throat.
What am I? she shrieked inside her head. She didn’t know why she had asked such a question. She already knew the answer.
What do you think you are? His figure came closer as her vision began to adjust to the light. She was still in the forest. Shadowy trees shimmered into focus. The smell of moss drifted around her. Rotting wood. Fresh soil wet with recent rain. For a brief moment, the desire to burn it all to ashes washed over her.
Dragon, she whispered, remembering the fairy songs about the terrible creatures and how they were created from death and fire. Dragons are rare... they are evil... how—
Aeline tried to end you, as you very well know, but she is still quite young and her control over such a powerful element as fairy-fire has still
not been honed. Her fire had an unintended effect on you as your bond with Lief was fading. He tried to keep you alive as his own life was ending, and this was the result. Such venom mixed with such an urgency to keep you alive—all dragons are born this way—through reckless fire and desperation. Lief knew it was the only way you could survive.
She had no words.
Verath cleared his throat. Aeline still lives, Serina, but she was badly injured and she lost the child. You drove everyone away with your fire. Luckily, I put it out before you burned the entire forest to ashes. I have restored what I could here in this haven.
Still no words. She could not remember doing any of this, but she knew he spoke the truth. Imagining herself breathing flames at her own sister, killing the child that had been the cause of so much sacrifice, made her squeeze her eyes shut in disgust and grief.
Is she going to live? she asked Verath.
Yes, she is healing.
And you’re still going to punish her? Surely, you—
Yes, of course. If she could conceive a child once, it could happen again.
Her blood ran even colder than it already was. Please do not kill her! I came all this way to help her. Fear filled her throat like a million bees, but in a burst of anger, she pushed them away and rose up on all four feet. It felt awkward, but as she shifted her weight, she realized her long tail was meant to help her balance. Her wings, which she did not dare unfold in the confines of the forest, stayed folded on her back. She could feel her strength flowing through them, waiting.
Facing Verath, she was unsure of what to do next. All she knew was that while she wanted to love him the same way Lief had loved him, she still did not trust him.
This is what amazes me, Verath said without backing away. His face was in focus now as her vision fully adjusted. He was in his cobalt blue robes, intense against the dark backdrop of the forest, and his white hair shone brightly in the filtered sunlight. He seemed so small now as she towered over him. She could probably crush him with one blow of her tail, but for some reason he still frightened her. He continued to speak in her mind. Aeline tried to end your life, and yet you still wish to protect her. Fairies are meant to be compassionate, but I have never....
She expected to hear laughter. Only silence came. Verath’s expression turned soft as he looked up at her.
Why are you here? she asked, trying to penetrate his mind, but it was impossible. He was as hard as the stone cliff near the pond.
I come with a proposal.
Unless it has to do with getting me out of this dragon-form, I have no interest in it.
She wondered how she was going to live like this. Lief was gone and she was nothing but an empty shell left wishing for the past, for cold nights on the ground with his arms around her. Their time together had been so short. How was anyone supposed to exist in such a state? Now that he was gone, she had no desire for anything except to keep Aeline safe. She was the only reason left for her to live. Perhaps this dragon-form was all her existence could produce. It wouldn’t surprise her—nothing left but ugliness and the fire her sister had given her.
You do not have to remain a dragon.
Then how do I—
Love. Fill yourself with it. He raised his hands to her, as if to calm a wild beast. She winced. That’s exactly what she was. Lowering her long neck, she rested her cheek on the cool ground. The closest love she had left was for Aeline, and despite everything that had happened, it made her heart feel like it would burst. She was once again a child clutching a doll as she looked at the baby in her mother’s arms. She had asked Ellendia why her heart felt so big inside her chest.
“Because she is your sister,” Ellendia had answered.
She was right, Verath said reverently, and the light inside of you will never let go of your tie to Aeline, no matter what she has done to you. I understand your compassion for her, although I have never met another fairy with a gift to love so unconditionally.
It is not a gift, she said, trembling. It has brought me nothing but misery. She closed her eyes and listened to the earth thrumming beneath her. In her dragon-form everything was heightened, including her hearing. The earth had a heartbeat, and it pounded in time with her own. She understood that her scales originated from the earth, as did her fire. Her water powers had died with her fairy-form. Lief had left her with a gift, but also a curse, just like her ability to love unconditionally. Why did such beautiful things have to bring her so much pain?
Pushing away her frustration, she let her feelings for Lief overflow into tears, which burned down her face and fell to the ground in pools of simmering heat. Her bond with him had transformed into a bond with the earth. The elves knew this bond, and now she knew it too. It was an endless, heart-wrenching need to return completely to the earth while unable to do so. That was why feeding from the earth was so satisfying.
You are beginning to understand what Lief meant for you, Verath said as she felt him kneel down next to her. Let your love for the earth replace your pain.
More tears dripped from her eyes. She thought of Lief’s words the night he confessed his thoughts for true balance and what that meant for all magical creatures. Before Verath could discover such thoughts, she locked them away in a place he could not reach.
I will leave your mind, he said. You will be able to speak to me soon after you have transformed.
She wasn’t sure what he meant, but as she mourned Lief and Ellendia’s absence, she felt herself changing back into her fairy form. In little more than three breaths, she was lying naked on the soil. Trying to move her arms and legs, she found herself nearly paralyzed with weakness. Verath quickly covered her shivering body with a cloak and pulled her into his arms. She knew he did not mean to harm her, but she could not find her trust for him, all the same. She trembled in fear of what he had in store for her.
“W-what is your proposal?” she asked in a scratchy voice. Her throat felt raw.
Verath looked into her eyes. “I loved your mother very much.” His voice was dark and solemn. “I miss her dearly, but there is nothing that will bring her back.”
“Why did you never bond with her?”
“Fairy laws forbid it. Fairies on the High Council are not allowed to bond.”
“Then why not change the laws? Surely, Oberon would—”
Verath’s hold tightened. “The laws exist on their own—nature itself creates them. Trying to change them would be like trying to erase the stars. They simply are.”
It seemed pointless to argue with him. If she understood anything about her own kind, it was that no one fairy controlled everything. The ultimate balance was made up of pieces outside of anyone’s control. Like love, it made absolutely no sense. It was evil and it was goodness. It was light and it was darkness. Lief’s thoughts about letting the balance shift itself to the humans were wrong and correct at the same time. There was no right answer. With her heart almost bursting with frustration, she buried her face in Verath’s arms and wept.
When she woke, she found herself in a cave lit only by a ray of sunshine filtering in through the narrow entrance. It was Aeline’s old hideout. Verath sat in the corner of the cave, his elbows resting on his knees as he watched her.
“I have made you some vegetable broth if you are hungry.”
Her stomach growled. She would never get used to the human realm and how often she needed to eat and sleep.
“Yes, please.”
Verath lifted a steaming bowl from the ground and stood. He walked over to her and knelt beside her. “Drink slowly. It is hot.”
As she sipped at the broth, she watched Verath and understood for the first time what he meant to her. Her mother and Lief had both loved him. He had not harmed her yet, but she also knew he was governed by rules that demanded he punish those guilty of any wrongdoing. She had done a lot of wrong in his eyes, she was sure of it.
“You still haven’t told me the proposal you have in mind,” she said after swallowing a mouthful of the bro
th. Her throat was still raw and her skin felt strange. Itchy.
“We will discuss that soon. First I need to know how you are feeling.”
“I’m not sure. I mean, I was a dragon....”
He frowned. “You are still a dragon, and even in this form you have chosen, I must warn you that you are not exactly a fairy anymore. Your water powers were burned away by Aeline, and even if you choose to appear in fairy-form, your appearance will never be the same as it was once.”
“My appearance?” She set down her bowl and looked at her arms. Verath had found clothes for her somewhere—a heavy dress embroidered with leafy designs. The sleeves were long, but as she pushed them up her arms, she gasped. Flesh-colored scales covered her everywhere. They were hideous—flat and thick and unmistakably dragon-like. Her fingernails ended in sharp points. She lifted a hand to touch her face. Scales, thin and slight, but still there. “I can’t go back to the fairy realm, can I?” she asked.
Verath looked down. “No.”
“And I can’t go among the humans, either. They would run in fear or kill me.”
“Most likely, yes, although I doubt the humans would ever be able to kill you. It would take magic, or a magical object, to do so.”
Hanging her head, she kept her tears away with the anger simmering in her chest. “Are you going to punish me?”
Verath remained silent.
She looked around the cave and imagined the sunlight fading as night fell upon the earth. She imagined darkness and years of loneliness and anger. She didn’t even have her water powers to comfort her.
“Will anyone stay with me?”
Verath shook his head and looked up. “What you have become, Serina, is a creature very few will understand. Lief meant for you to live on, but I’m afraid he did not comprehend everything such a transformation would entail. If you allow it, you will find peace with the earth, but I’m afraid only a few fairies like myself will have enough courage to visit you. I will come as often as I can.”
Bonded: Three Fairy Tales, One Bond Page 38
