“That’s not true. Believe me, I know.”
“We always hurt the ones we love the most.”
“That doesn’t sound right.”
“No it doesn’t. How about we change the subject.”
“Perfect.” I closed my eyes again.
“Why don’t you switch seats with me?”
“I never sit by the window.”
“I think it will help.”
“We aren’t supposed to get out of our seats and I don’t need to see that land is nowhere in sight.”
“It will only take a second. I promise nothing will happen. In rehab they taught us that facing our fears head on is the only way to deal with them and conquer them. And if you have someone by your side, even better. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“But I want to.”
“Why?”
“Have you ever met somebody and known you should know them, or maybe thought they looked so familiar you should know them?”
I thought for a moment. That’s how I felt about my best friend, Call. I knew we were meant to be friends the first moment I met her backstage at the Nashville Has Talent show. Honestly, I had a hard time rooting for my ex-husband over her.
He unbuckled my seatbelt before I could respond.
My eyes flew open. “What do you think you’re doing?” I was going to have a panic attack.
He was already getting up. “Come on, it will be fun.” Boyish excitement lit up his handsome features.
I shook my head no.
The plane jolted and Cole faltered, but caught himself on my chair. He hovered above me grinning sexily. Darn those cowboys. “You better switch me or we could find ourselves getting real cozy, doc.”
“You sound like you wouldn’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t, but I get the feeling you’re not that kind of woman and I’m trying to change my ways.”
Between his forwardness, the alcohol, and my fear, my brain wasn’t working properly. I found myself being pulled up and placed in the window seat. He even buckled my seatbelt. I immediately pulled down the shade so I couldn’t see outside.
“That’s not how this works, darlin’.” He lifted the cover back up.
I closed my eyes and held my breath.
He took my hand. “Breathe. You’re safe. I promise.”
I hadn’t felt safe in a long time. I let out a long slow breath.
“That’s better.”
“I wouldn’t call this better.”
“Maybe try opening your eyes.”
I did, but slowly. I turned toward his smiling face. Our heads were both leaned back. We stared at each other in the dark for several moments.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
He reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. “There is something about you, beautiful Jillian. Like I should know you.”
No one had spoken to me like that in so long. I realized in that moment how much I missed the tenderness. How much I missed being seen as woman and not an emotional punching bag or a problem. All of those thoughts, combined with the alcohol, made me do something I had never done before. It was the first time in my life I didn’t think, I just acted. I leaned forward and I saw him grin before I pressed my lips against his.
He didn’t hesitate to reciprocate.
And for some reason, I didn’t care that I was kissing a stranger on a plane in front of God and everyone. I didn’t care about the turbulence or that I had just gotten divorced. All I focused on was the long, slow way the cowboy kissed. How he gently wove his fingers through my golden blonde hair. How he tasted like honey and lemon. How for the first time in a long time, I felt desire.
He took his time with me and only deepened the kiss when I didn’t pull away. His lips entreated mine to part and they readily accepted. But again, he was gentle. Nothing like Danny, whose kisses were always intense. This man kissed like we had all the time in the world and there was no one else he wanted to be with. It’s probably why I kept on kissing him long after the seatbelt light went off. I had forgotten what it felt like to be wanted, and I savored every moment of it.
It was him that eventually pulled away. It took him a few tries. His lips would leave mine, only to brush them again. He leaned his head against mine and whistled low. “Wow, doc.”
It was then that what I had done finally sank in. “What must you think of me?”
“I think I would like to get to know you better.”
I tore myself away from him and leaned into my seat, his seat. I closed my eyes again. I couldn’t believe what I had just done and how I felt. I knew it couldn’t, and wouldn’t, go anywhere, but my beating heart was begging me to reconsider.
“Hey.” He took up my hand. “Please don’t be embarrassed.”
A small smile appeared on my lips.
“Jillian Jones, I do like that smile of yours. Tell me about your job.”
I continued to behave unlike myself. I let the cowboy keep my hand. I opened myself up to him. I’m not sure why, other than I needed the human connection and I was scared, not only about flying, but how my life was going to change. Separation and divorce are two entirely different things. While I had taken a huge step forward, I couldn’t help but think about all I had been through and how it changed me. “Most of my patients are recovering from an accident or a surgical procedure, sometimes both.”
“You like what you do?”
“I love it. There’s great satisfaction watching people progress and get better and knowing you had a hand in it. What about you? Do you like your job?”
He squeezed my hand. “It has its perks.”
“I hope you don’t think I’ll be one of them.”
He laughed quietly. “No, doc. Maybe when I was younger, but this old cowboy has learned a thing or two, most of them the hard way.”
“You’re not that old.”
“How old are you?”
“Old enough to know better.”
He grinned over at me. “So you love your job and your family. What else do you love?”
I still couldn’t believe this man was so interested in me. “I love any time I can get outdoors, hiking or being out on the water. And being my mother’s daughter, I love to sew. That probably makes me sound old.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“What would you say?”
“Outdated.”
It was my turn to laugh. “I suppose so, but I never have to worry about ill-fitting clothes. I can alter anything off the rack.”
“You look good to me.”
“Thank you.”
We talked our way through the night. I never did look out the window, but for some reason, I didn’t need to. He kept me distracted the whole flight with all his questions and answers. He was more open than I would expect. He didn’t try to hide the fact that he had made mistakes and he needed to own up to them. He wasn’t ashamed for going to rehab or continuing to see a counselor. I admired him for it. I wished Danny would have done the same, but he wasn’t willing to change, not for me and not for himself.
An hour before our flight landed, he turned toward me and ran his finger down my cheek. I will admit I shivered at the touch. He leaned in a bit more and spoke softly. “I meant what I said. I want to get to know you better, but you need time to heal and I need to get my life back on track. I promise you, when that happens I’ll come looking for you.”
His words brought me back to reality. I shook my head. “Men.”
“What about us?”
“You so easily make midnight promises.” Danny had made his fair share. He was always going to get clean and treat me like I deserved, but each one of those promises faded away in the morning light.
“Now that sounds like a line from a song.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead. As he lingered, I wanted to believe him.
When we landed early that morning, he was holding to his promise, but I walked away promising myself not to fall for another charming co
wboy.
But ever since then, I couldn’t get that midnight kiss, or his promise, out of my heart. I wondered if when he woke up in the dead of night, I played in his memories.
For me, I had him on replay, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t turn him off.
Chapter One
“Earth to Jillian.”
I looked up from my smothered burrito and shook my head trying to reengage with the present. “Sorry, what did you say?”
Call, my best friend, sexy Zumba instructor, personal trainer, and incredible musician, narrowed her gorgeous azure eyes at me. “Are you okay? You keep zoning out and sighing.”
I waved off her concern with my fork. “Just a little tired.”
“Uh-huh?” She grinned evilly.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know . . . maybe it’s the vacant stares and wistful sighs.”
“I think you’re making things up.”
She laughed. “Well, here’s something I’m not making up. I received a very interesting phone call this morning from a Francesca Ryland. Does that name ring a bell?” Her grin was to her ears.
I thought for a moment. It did sound familiar, but I couldn’t place the name. I shook my head no.
“I’m surprised.”
“Okay? Why?”
“Oh, I don’t know . . . maybe because she’s Cole Pendleton’s personal assistant.”
I dropped my fork and it clanked against the ceramic plate and probably splattered sauce on my shirt, but I couldn’t focus on that. Cole’s name was buzzing in my ears. I coughed uncomfortably. “Why would she call you?”
“You tell me, since apparently you’ve been holding out on me.”
I picked up my napkin and wiped the small splatter of green chili off my shirt. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Let me fill you in then, you little liar.” She smiled with all the dazzle in the world.
I could barely meet her eyes.
“Apparently, my best friend, who made out with one very famous country artist, forgot to mention that he promised to contact her, and that they talked about me.”
I was thirsty all of a sudden and reached for my strawberry lemonade. Call had other ideas and grabbed my hand. “Spill, Jillian Jones.”
I bit my lip and peered into her amused eyes. “Okay. So maybe it was more than a kiss, but it doesn’t matter, because he is who he is and it was ten months ago.”
“H-e-l-l-o. He had his personal assistant call me. Do you know why?”
I shook my head.
“He wants you to come to his final tour date at the Ryman, it includes meet and greet passes and front row seats for not only you, but your best friend, who you lied to, and her boyfriend, because he’s the overprotective type and wants to make sure this guy is good enough for you.”
“That’s sweet of him, but I don’t need Beck to vet Cole Pendleton. He’s not interested in me and I can’t be interested in him.”
She took my hand again, but this time she held it for comfort. “Jilly, I know you’re afraid and you have every reason to be, but I know you. I’m not sure what happened on that plane, but whether you admit it or not, you’re interested. And if I’m not mistaken, the feeling is mutual.”
“Call, you know about his past. And for all we know this is only a friendly gesture on his part. I’m just another woman that got a little tipsy and threw myself at a celebrity. You don’t know how embarrassing that is.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. And yes, the guy has a past, but as far as I can tell, his present looks pretty good.”
He did seem to be doing well. I had been stalking him online ever since we met. As far as I could tell, he had stayed sober and was doing his best to make amends by donating his time and money to various substance abuse prevention programs. And most importantly he was working on his relationship with his eighteen-year-old son, Brooks. That night we spent together, his son was a topic of conversation and had been the reason he’d been in Vegas. His ex-wife lived there and he went to ask for permission to have his son travel with him. She was obviously reluctant, but Brooks had been travelling with him and playing the keyboard in his band. Several news stories had been done about the pair. His son, though, made no excuses for his father and talked about how hard it was to learn to trust him again. I could see the pain in Cole’s eyes when his son spoke like that, but on the flip side, he beamed when his son talked about how proud he was of his dad for getting clean and how much he loved him.
I rubbed my neck. “I can’t see him again.”
“At least think about it. Charles has never been to a country music concert.” She smiled.
“You and Beck go then.” Only Call called Beck “Charles”, for obvious reasons.
“Not without you.”
“How are things going with you and him?”
“Deflection, dear Jillian?”
“Maybe.” I smiled.
“I’ll indulge you for a minute, only because I’m high on love, but I’m not letting this go.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Fine.”
“So . . . Charles asked me and Noah to visit London with him this summer to meet his parents.” She was glowing.
“Are you going to?”
“I want to, but I told him I would only go if I paid for our airline tickets.”
I laughed at her. “And how did that go over?”
“Of course he wants to pay for them, but he’s already too good to us. He single-handedly increased my personal training clients enough for me to support Noah and myself with that job alone, and even save a little. I only go to Bangers now if I want to perform. I don’t want to take advantage of him. Do you know how much those tickets cost?”
“Oh, honey, he loves you. He knows you better than to think you would use him. I’m sure you’re frustrating him right now, not letting him purchase the tickets.”
“You know him well. He’s anxious for me to meet his family and he thinks since it’s his invitation, he should be the one to pay, but I disagree.”
“Of course you do.”
“He likes it when we disagree.”
“I think that would be the make-up sessions afterward.”
“In that case, he’s going to be super happy once this argument is settled. He’s not backing down, and neither am I.”
“I’m surprised he hasn’t bought the tickets yet.”
“I warned him it would be detrimental to his health if he did.”
I was so jealous of those two. They did love a good argument, but I had never seen such passion in a relationship, or a man that supported his girlfriend more, even if that meant backing off. He was perfect for her, and she for him. “Maybe you could give in this one time.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because . . . I’m afraid he’ll propose while we’re there.”
My eyes widened and for a moment I forgot about Cole. “What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. Lately, he’s been talking a lot about our future and having a baby. I think he sees Christopher and Jaime preparing for their son to arrive at the end of July and they just moved into their new house. I think he’s ready for that.”
“And you’re not?”
“I love him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and have lots of babies with him, but Noah still has a couple more years of high school and . . . Charles wants his children to at least be partially raised in England.”
I felt a prick in my heart thinking about Call moving so far away, but I did my best to keep a smile on my face. “How soon does he want to move?”
“Not until after Noah graduates, but Noah wants to go to college here and I’m all he has. I mean, I understand Charles’ desire to share his culture with his children and I would love my little babies to speak like him. Can you imagine how freaking adorable that would be? But that’s a huge change.”
I pictured her children with En
glish accents and smiled. That would be adorable. But I could understand her hesitancy. So many times I wished I hadn’t moved away from Nashville. Not that it’s bad to move away from home or to be adventurous, but sometimes when we do things for love, it doesn’t always work out; in fact, it can have devastating consequences. “So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, because if I tell him how hard that would be for me, I know he’ll say we can stay here forever if that’s what I want, but I want him to be happy, too.”
“He’ll be happy wherever you are.”
“I know that, just like I would be happy with him in London, but I’m having a hard time letting go. Does that make sense?”
“More than you know.”
She gazed at me with her all-knowing eyes. “You can do this, Jilly. I’ll be with you every step of the way. Take a chance again. Come to the concert with us. What could it hurt?”
A lot, unfortunately.
Chapter Two
As I drove back to the clinic, I kept thinking about the fact that Cole’s people had reached out to my people, or my person. I couldn’t believe he remembered that she was my best friend. I guessed he tracked her down through his connections at Nashville Has Talent. So maybe he still thought about me, too? That thought carried with it a wide range of emotions, everything from pleased to terrified. I wasn’t counting on him keeping his word. I hoped he would eventually drift out of my psyche. Though through the last ten months, his presence had not only dominated my thoughts, as of late, they had intensified. I knew he was coming back to Nashville after his worldwide tour. I had checked on ticket prices to his sold-out shows. He was doing a couple since he chose the Ryman instead of the much larger Bridgestone Arena. The Ryman has second-to-none acoustics.
I knew I couldn’t bring myself to buy the tickets, but I thought maybe if I saw him again, even from a distance, I could work him out of my system. I would see in the light of day, with a clear and rational mind, that what we shared for those few hours was nothing but an illusion brought on by fear and alcohol, and my need at the time to feel wanted. I still had that need, but not the way I desperately felt it in that vulnerable moment. I had never let my defenses down like that before.
Cole and Jillian (Pianos and Promises - A Novella Series Book 3) Page 2
