“I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.”
Her expression turned thoughtful. “All I’m saying is sometimes you have to take a chance. Listen to your heart and follow your instincts.”
“What could go wrong with that, right?”
“He’s not Danny.”
“I know. But Danny wasn’t Danny either for a long time.”
She reached across the table for my hand. “A day at a time. A day at a time.”
She was right, but she forgot to mention what a difference a day could make.
I woke up a year older on Friday. Thirty-three, I thought to myself. I stretched and yawned while contemplating my life. Who would have guessed the ride I had been on? And to prove how wild it had been, my phone rang. I smiled when I recognized the number. “It’s early in California.”
“I know, but I wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday. Happy birthday, beautiful Jillian.” He proceeded to sing the best version of “Happy Birthday” I had ever heard.
“That was perfect. Thank you. How’s working with Zoe X?”
“She’s great. We’re headed back to the studio later today. Then I have several radio shows to hit.”
“I miss you.” It suddenly hit me how much that was true.
“If I wasn’t so busy, and you didn’t hate flying, I would say come here for Memorial Day weekend.”
“That would have been fun, except for the whole publicity stuff you’re doing. And I know the paparazzi is relentless there. And the whole flying thing.”
“Would it be so bad if someone took our picture together? We can’t hide forever.”
“I know. I’m working up to it.”
“Good, because there is something I want to talk to you about when I get back.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me over the phone?”
“No, darlin’, I need to see your eyes.”
“I’ll look forward to it then.”
“Me, too. I’ll call you later.”
I threw off my covers and sighed. The good kind. The kind that said I was falling in love. I followed my usual routine of going for a run before getting ready for work. I felt at peace and light. I wondered what Cole wanted to discuss with me and I was wishing we were spending the weekend together, but he would be home in five days. We could make up for lost time then.
I headed in to work, ready to start my busy day. I had several patients trying to get in before the holiday weekend and scheduled vacations. It was a good thing, I thought. The busier I was, the quicker my day would go, which meant I was that much closer to Cole’s return.
The clinic was such a terrific place to work, I had flowers and a large decorated cookie waiting for me in my office from all my coworkers. It was shaping up to be a great birthday. I had quick calls from my parents and Call, all before my first patient arrived. I was feeling loved.
The happy, wonderful feelings from the morning all came to a halt that afternoon. I was going over a patient’s chart when my office phone rang. I absentmindedly answered it, thinking it was the front desk letting me know my two o’clock appointment had arrived, but the voice on the other end was the last person I wanted to hear from. I hadn’t heard from him in several months, ever since I changed my mobile number. I thought he had finally gotten the hint.
“Baby, it’s me.”
“Why are you calling and how did you get my office number?”
“Don’t get mad. I have my ways and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”
I was surprised he even remembered. He had completely forgotten the last two when we were married. “Thanks. I have to go. Please don’t call me again.”
“Why, because you’re with Cole Pendleton now?”
I almost dropped the phone. “How do you know that?”
“Baby, you should know better by now, there are eyes everywhere.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Oh, but it is.”
I couldn’t believe I was falling for the bait. “Why is that?”
“Because, baby, I’m worried about you.”
“I’m not playing this game with you. Goodbye.”
“Not so quick, Jillian.”
For a moment, he sounded lucid, almost like his old self. It stopped me from hanging up.
“A reporter called me to ask me how I felt about my ex-wife seeing Cole Pendleton and . . .”
“And what?”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“We’re way past that,” I scoffed. “Say what you have to say.”
“Baby, men like Cole Pendleton, they’re looking for a little action wherever they can get it. I think the pictures will tell you all you need to know.”
“What pictures?”
“Don’t worry, I imagine within the next few hours they’ll be everywhere. I thought you were smarter than this, Jillian, but I’m here for you.”
I slammed the phone down. That was the biggest lie I had ever heard. For a moment I felt ill, but then I remembered this was Danny we were talking about. He had done nothing but lie to me for the past few years or more. I decided to call Cole. It went straight to voicemail.
My two o’clock arrived and I tried to shake off the unpleasant experience and this feeling of foreboding, but I wasn’t doing a good job. Worry crept in. Did someone take my picture with Cole and sell it to some gossip rag? That wouldn’t be horrible. I wasn’t happy about it, but I supposed it was inevitable. Something still felt off.
I carried that uneasy feeling with me through the rest of the day. And it all came to a head when Call showed up unexpectedly at my office. She was supposed to be getting ready for her trip the next day. And I could tell she wasn’t there to wish me happy birthday.
She walked back to the gym with a harried expression. I had just finished up with my last patient. She ran her fingers through her hair before she marched over to me by the e-stimulation machine. Without a word, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my office. I could feel her tremble.
“What’s wrong? Is it Noah or Beck?”
She only shook her head. She didn’t say a word until we were securely in my office with the door closed. “Don’t freak out.”
“Too late. What’s going on?”
“I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding and that Cole has a perfectly good explanation. Danny not so much.”
“What are you talking about?”
She reached into her bag and pulled out her phone and held it up. “This.”
Chapter Sixteen
I needed air, lots and lots of air, but there didn’t seem to be any available. I fell back against my door. I held onto my heart. I blinked several times, each time thinking when I opened my eyes the next time I wouldn’t see Cole kissing Zoe X.
Call wrapped her arm around me. “Come sit down. It gets . . . worse.”
My wide eyes met her concerned ones. I felt like I was on a plane. Four breaths in, six breaths out. Not helping.
I made it to my office chair before my shaky legs gave out.
Call knelt in front of me and rubbed my legs. “Again, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding, but I wanted this to come from me and not anyone else.” She hesitated to bring up her phone again.
“Just show me.” The anticipation was only making it worse.
She held up her phone and scrolled down to a picture of Cole and me outside my house embracing. I instantly felt violated. Call couldn’t even look at me. She began to read the article out loud.
It has been rumored that Cole Pendleton was secretly dating Danny Hilton’s ex-wife, Jillian. For how long, no one knows except we reached out to Danny to see what he had to say about it. “I had a feeling she had been cheating on me before we separated.”
“What!” I bent over and put my head between my knees.
Call stroked my hair and read on. “We aren’t sure if Cole Pendleton was the reason for the break-up of Hilton’s marriage, but now there is a twist in the story. We just ob
tained new photos of Cole and Zoe X and it looks like they were doing more than making music. Judging by the pictures, I think it’s safe to say Cole Pendleton is living the dream, just like his smash tour says. The question is, how many more women have fallen victim to his manly prowess? Who writes this crap?”
Did it really matter who wrote it? It was going to spread like wildfire and my name was going to be dragged through the filth and slime that I had so desperately wanted to separate myself from. I should have known Cole was too good to be true, but then to have my ex-husband lie about me to the world. It was more than I could handle at the moment. I burst into tears.
“Shh. Shh. It’s going to be okay.” Call rubbed my back.
I kept my head down and my face in my hands. Racking sobs escaped me.
“Let’s call Cole.”
“No. You saw the picture.” I wanted to scream. “How can he explain that? It wasn’t even taken at some odd angle where you could question whether it was a kiss or not. And someone was at my house. And to top it off, now everyone thinks I’ve been having some clandestine relationship with Cole even before I was divorced.”
“If this wasn’t so terrible, I would make fun of you for using the word clandestine.” Call tried her best to add some frivolity. “It’s going to be okay, honey.”
I sat up with tear stained cheeks. “How?”
She swiped her hand back and forth on my arm. “I don’t know, but it will be. Anyone that knows you and your situation will know Danny’s lying.”
“Maybe, but you know the seed is planted now. People have seen Cole here at the clinic. They will put two and two together and guess who comes out the loser? Me!” I pointed to my chest and burst out crying again. “Why didn’t I just stay away from him like I promised myself I would?”
“He seemed so perfect for you. Let’s call him and get his side.”
I shook my head vehemently. “I can’t talk to him. I need to go home.” Fear struck me. “Do you think people are there?”
Call’s eyes widened. “I’ll call Charles and have him meet us over there.”
“You should be getting ready for your trip.”
“I’m going to postpone and stay with you.”
“No!”
She sat up straighter, shocked. “I can’t leave you like this.”
“You’re such a good friend, but you need to go. It will make me feel worse if I ruin your trip; and believe it or not, this isn’t the worst thing that has ever happened to me.” A vision of finding Danny in our bed with another woman popped into my head.
She tilted her head from side to side, debating. “We’re at least going to make sure no one is lurking around your house. I’ll drive home with you, and Charles can bring me back here to pick up my car.”
“Thanks.”
She hugged me before giving Beck a call.
I sat there numbly and waited. I was the biggest fool. And now the world knew.
Call snuck me out the back and I let her drive my car home. I was in no shape to be behind the wheel. All I could do was stare aimlessly out the window with tears streaming down my face. I think I was officially done with all men, famous or not. The pain in my heart left no lingering doubts about how I felt for Cole. I had fallen in love with him, and just like Danny, he betrayed me in the cruelest of ways. I guess I could be thankful it was only a photo and not the real live thing, or that it had only been a month instead of wasting years on him. But this felt worse, maybe because Cole was a better actor. No one had ever treated me with such care, but it was all a lie.
I couldn’t understand his reasoning. Why he had gone to the trouble of keeping up the act this morning, I had no idea. Maybe he didn’t care if he hurt me, because surely he knew kissing Zoe X in public would never go unnoticed in L.A., or anywhere for that matter.
We didn’t see any obvious signs of intruders with cameras when Call pulled into my garage. Beck was outside waiting, acting as a look out. He looked intimidating, standing on my lawn. Maybe someone would take a picture of him and post it, naming him my new flame. The thought made me want to vomit. Not because Beck wasn’t great boyfriend material, I’m sure he was, but the fact that people had jobs to make up lies to ruin other people’s lives with no care at all was unconscionable.
I leaned on Call on the way into my house from the attached garage. I found myself without any muscle strength in my lower extremities. I settled on the couch and curled into the quilt my mom had made me. I was going to beg her and my dad to come home early. I lay my head in Call’s lap where she took up stroking my hair. I must have looked pitiful.
Beck joined us moments later. He took one look at the scene and did the wise thing. “I’ll make tea.” Spoken like a true Englishman.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I know you will.”
“I might have to move to a foreign country.”
“How about England?”
“That works. Is it me?”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Then why does this keep happening to me?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry I pressured you into seeing Cole. Though I still think you should call him, even if it’s to yell at him.”
“It would do no good.” Yelling at Danny only gave him more incentive to place the blame on me.
“We’ll stay.”
“I love you, but I need to be alone. Go and have a great time.”
“Are you sure?”
I wasn’t certain I would be sure about anything ever again.
~*~
After Call and Beck left, I sat up. I had to move. I refused to let another man paralyze me. I began with cleaning out the refrigerator. Tossing all the leftover meals Cole and I had shared together in the last week. Next I scoured every surface of my kitchen, including the cupboards. It was then my phone started ringing off the hook. First it was my sister, then my parents, who were staying with my sister. Next my sister-in-law and brother. Coworkers were up next. I didn’t answer their calls. I didn’t have any more in me to keep telling the same story that ended the same way. Jillian is and was a fool, the end.
When every last bit of my emotional and physical energy was zapped, Cole decided to call. I didn’t answer at first, but then he called four times in a row. I still didn’t answer. He texted, Darlin’, please pick up your phone. Francesca just got ahold of me and I saw the pictures. I can explain. It’s not what you think.
I suppose he tripped and his lips accidentally planted themselves on hers. He had said this morning how terrific she was. She must really be something. Of course she was. She was one of those starlets that posted a million pictures of herself in little to no clothing whenever she got the chance. She probably used auto tune. Degrading her in my head wasn’t helping me any. She was probably a lovely person.
By the fifth call, I was done. “Hello.”
“Jillian, are you okay?”
“It’s a little late to be worried about that now, and the answer is no, I’m not okay. You and Danny have humiliated me today. I’m afraid to leave my house now thanks to you and your camera crew.”
“Is there someone outside your house? I’ll send Randy over.”
“I don’t want your bodyguard or anyone else associated with you ever coming near me again. And that includes you.”
“Please, Jillian, will you listen to me?”
“No. That’s what got me into this mess in the first place. Nothing you can say will make this better.”
“I love you,” he blurted out.
I laughed in that insane sort of way. “That is the worst thing you could have said to me. You can take your lies and—”
“Jillian, I love you. I wouldn’t lie about that.”
“I saw you kissing another woman.”
“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me.”
“That makes it so much better.”
“It was a damn publicity stunt on her end! I swear to you, I had nothing to do with it.”
“You looked pre
tty cozy to me.”
“She caught me off guard. It took me a second to react. I’m just as upset by this as you. Trust me.”
“I doubt that. And one thing I will never do is trust you.”
“I’m going to catch a flight home tonight. We can work this out.”
“No, we can’t. I told you I didn’t want anything to do with this life or people like you. I should have never kissed you on that plane or gone to see you or believed that you were different than my ex-husband.” The tears flowed freely.
“Please, Jillian.”
“That’s not going to work this time. If you really love me like you say you do, then you will leave me alone and never contact me again. I’m through with people like you.”
“I do love you.”
I hung up the phone and he did as I asked.
Chapter Seventeen
Four Months Later
“Earth to Jillian. Are you there, Jillian?”
I looked up from mindlessly addressing the hundredth wedding announcement. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”
Call gave me a closed-lipped smile. “Yeah, I said, Cole asked about you again today when I saw him at the studio.”
I looked down at the light gray envelope that held Call and Beck’s wedding invitation to their mid-November nuptials. “What did you tell him?”
“That you missed him as much as he missed you.”
I looked up, shocked. “Why would you do that?”
“Because it’s true, and don’t lie by denying it. You haven’t been you these last four months.”
I tucked some hair behind my ear. I still couldn’t meet her gaze. “I’m fine.”
“You fell in love with him.”
I looked up and met her eyes. I gave her a slight nod.
“You know what happened between him and that tramp Zoe X wasn’t his fault. He cut their track off his album. And he told Danny if he ever contacted you again he would personally see to it that he never saw the inside of a recording studio or stage again unless he was there to mop the floors.”
Oh. Wow. I didn’t know about Danny, but I knew about the Zoe thing. He had given what seemed like a hundred interviews after the whole sordid ordeal occurred. He broke his stance to never discuss his love life during interviews, all to clear up what had happened. He tried his best to let people know that he and I hadn’t met until after my divorce. I appreciated that he tried to return some of my dignity. When a talk show host or radio personality would call me Danny Hilton’s ex-wife, he would correct them, “She has a name and she’s more than someone’s ex-wife.” But people were going to believe what they wanted to. For the most part, people weren’t gawking at me at work anymore and my patients weren’t asking me a million questions about it every day. I hadn’t been stopped at the grocery store in a month now, asking if I was the Jillian Jones they had read about.
Cole and Jillian (Pianos and Promises - A Novella Series Book 3) Page 12
