“Is this what you normally eat, when you are out on campaign?”
“More or less—and meat. Although when the supply lines are cut, we eat very little.”
“When are you leaving?” she asked remembering that he was on a short stop on his way somewhere.
“I leave tomorrow.”
Chara tried to consider what that meant for her schedule in terms of organizing their move north.
“We’ve marching for Megara,” he continued. “The Athenians have invaded—a direct assault on one of our allies. They have called for assistance and we need to drive the Athenian dogs out.”
She felt her heart sink as the Spartans were effectively going to block the only road to Athens. Chara’s mind started to churn through the implications. They could not travel through Megara as they had planned—they would be highly suspicious travelling there in cart full of Helots at such a time. It meant they could not take the ox and cart unless they waited for the Spartans to withdraw, which would likely be after they lost or they won. The militarisation she had seen when she passed through Megara was obviously in expectation that the Athenians were invading. Why hadn’t she seen it coming or hear of the invasion?
“Will there be a battle there?” she asked.
“Oh yes,” he responded. “Well, you never know. The Athenians are weak and feckless, sometimes they just withdraw. They might have had luck on their side at Pylos, strengthened by their navy, but Megara will never be theirs. The Megarans will work against them and will clear the gates for us. We will make it too difficult for them to hold onto it.”
Chara recognized that even if they were successful and drove the Athenians back, there may be Spartans left there to guard Megara in case the Athenians returned. Megara would be dangerous to traverse even when the battle was over.
They were going to have to travel beyond the roads, which meant travelling over rough terrain. It would make for a much more uncomfortable trip—not to mention more dangerous as they would have trouble defending their activities sneaking away from the road. They also needed the ox as it would be infinitely more difficult to cultivate the land in Achernae without a beast to plough. Chara rubbed her temple to ease some of the tension, but checked herself to ensure she didn’t appear too distraught at the news. She tried to look calm and to smile.
There was a moment of silence and Chara thought of something to fill it as it stretched. Things between them were easier when simply involving acts of intimacy, but outside of that, it felt awkward as they really didn’t have much in common. She wasn’t sure if he felt the same; although he didn’t look like he did—he looked relaxed and calm as he lay back on the grass, his white tunic bright in the sun, contrasting with his long, muscular legs.
“You must have seen much of Greece in your travels,” she finally said.
“Yes, but there is no place like Sparta. Our state is powerful and our women are beautiful.” He smiled at her and Chara couldn’t look away. He studied her then and she felt self-conscious under his scrutiny, wondering what it was he saw when he looked at her, if he just saw a slave girl that he could toy with. She didn’t think so anymore—she had at first—but his interest in her seemed more constant. She remembered that he’d called her beautiful and she couldn’t help but blush. His features turned serious again like a thought had occurred to him and he looked out at the view from their perch on the hill as he lay back supporting himself with his elbow.
“Sometimes I worry that I will never know anything but war—that I will never experience a life away from the battlefield—sleeping in tents and eating when food is available. I used to feel the excitement and the honor in it, but I have grown weary now. I have never known anything else and I fear that I might be cut down before I do.”
Chara didn’t know what to say, it was a heavy confession of his deeper thoughts. Chara suspected that these were not thoughts he’d shared with anyone before and they were not something the Spartan soldiers were expected to say, or sentiments they should feel. She’d never considered him to be trapped in his life, like she was trapped in hers. He might not have the luxuries that the Athenians provided their higher members of society, but he had status and respect. Seemingly he didn’t have freedom, which was something she was about to gain when she left this place behind. On some levels they were actually similar in that respect. She had an urge to tell him about there being choices if one pursued them, but she couldn’t. She must never forget that he was a Spartan and his allegiance was to his state above all else—above his own fears and happiness, let alone hers. She could not afford to feel for him even if he was confiding his deepest thoughts.
“I don’t see an end to this war and I’m not sure anyone does,” he continued.
“It can’t go on forever,” she said although she had no basis for saying that.
“Can’t it? Is Victory truly attainable?” He wasn’t looking at her and he wasn’t looking for her to answer his questions. He was watching the landscape again and Chara could see him frowning at his own suspicions.
“Come on,” he said and got up. “Let’s go.” He mounted his horse and pulled Chara up behind him. He guided the horse down the hill and Chara had to hold on tight to ensure she didn’t fall off on the unstable ground.
Last time she’d seen Nicias, she had thought it was the last time, but it hadn’t been true. There was a chance that this wasn’t the last time either now that their passage through Megara was blocked. They could still go if they rode mules, but it would be much more difficult and dangerous. They had to plan their escape much more carefully.
She didn’t want to think how Nicias would react when he found out that she’d gone. She wondered if he would be angry—it was highly likely. She couldn’t imagine what he would be like angry—a fearful sight, no doubt. She was certain it wasn’t something she wanted to see. She certainly didn’t want to bear the brunt of his anger. She looked down his side and saw the sword that he always carried with him and wondered if he would draw it on her.
“There is a waterfall not far away, do you want to see it?” he asked. She nodded and he ran his large warm hand down over her knee and she felt her body heat in response.
Chapter 17
Chara said goodbye to Nicias in the morning. He kissed her deeply inside his room before leaving. His father waited to say goodbye to him in the courtyard and Chara discreetly snuck out of the gate while Nicias said his farewells to his father.
Chara ran home in the early morning light. Her feelings were highly conflicted, but she knew it fundamentally didn’t matter. Her mission was spelled out as clearly as his seemed to be; although there were some details that she needed to work through. She was not going to let this setback stop her from finding a way. Part of her determination lay in the fact that she wasn’t sure she could deal with Nicias anymore. She hated the deception and she was also weakening toward him, which she could not afford. It was just a thing that could not be and the sooner that was firmly established, the better.
There was no one at home when she got there and for a moment she wondered if they had left without her. She felt a spear of panic shoot through her, but then rationalized that it was unlikely that her father would leave while her situation was so uncertain. She found her father and the young boy who were to travel with them in the fields.
“Della came, but she returned to her house when it became clear that the plans had changed,” her father said.
“Della came?” Chara asked, relieved to hear that her friend had decided to travel with them. Life in Attica would be more pleasant with her friend there. It warmed her heart to think of them together living freely. It only made it more important to find another way.
“The road to Megara will not be friendly to us. The Athenians and Spartans are meeting there. We have to find another way.”
“That will be difficult,” her father stated.
“Where is Doros?”
“I haven’t seen him.”
“He didn’t come?
”
Her father shook his head. Chara felt a deep sense of disappointment, she was sure her brother would be there. She swallowed a lump that was building in her throat. She knew that underneath his gruff treatment of them, he did care about his family. He must think what he was doing was really important.
“I have to go talk to Della,” Chara said. For some reason, she didn’t want to burden her father with her concerns and the problems with their travel plans. She’d brought all this to them and she felt responsible for having a plan that they could follow. Her plan was jumbled now and she needed to talk to someone, wishing Doros had been the one she could confide in, but he was unhelpful at every turn.
Chara walked to the village trying to work out what to do. The simple solution would be to switch the ox for mules, but they needed the ox. She tried to think of some other way. Perhaps they could achieve both if they left the cart and walked the ox through the rugged land away from the road.
She felt eyes on her when she walked through the village. It was like it had been when she had been pregnant—everyone knew and no one said anything. She wasn’t entirely sure why they were all watching her now. She wondered if they knew of her activities with the Spartan over the last few days and maybe her softening stance to him was plain for everyone to see. She felt guilty for her own reaction to him and it would be completely understandable that they didn’t trust her if they knew. Maybe someone had seen her riding around the country side with him.
“Chara,” Della said when they came around the corner. “We waited, but you didn’t come.”
“I am sorry I got waylaid and I couldn’t return until now.”
“The Spartan.”
“Yes,” Chara said quietly.
“Might have been a blessing in the end, it is likely we would have run into trouble if we had left as planned. They are marching for Megara.”
“So I’ve heard.”
Della urged her into a more private alley between two houses. “We are being approached,” she said seriously. “Others have heard of what we are going and there have been some who want us to take their boys. The Spartans are actively looking for young men.”
Chara considered this and the problems it posed. “We can’t take many more. Maybe one or two, but we are already four—it will look highly suspicious. Perhaps if we have two convoys… But the road is blocked.”
“Then perhaps we must sail,” Della suggested.
“You know we don’t have the funds to support going by sea.” It was an interesting idea, but there was just the small issue of payment. They could sell the ox, but that provided the same problem—they needed it.
“People have offered to pay,” she said quietly so there would be no chance of anyone overhearing. “They don’t have much, but they are desperate and they will pay.”
Chara considered what Della was saying. She hated the idea of taking money from desperate parents—but if they had funds, they could perhaps charter someone to take them across the Corinthian Sea. Chara’s mind started spinning with new ideas and possibilities.
“How would we find someone to sail us?”
Della shrugged slightly. “There must be a way. There must be someone who knows seafarers.”
“It is a risk asking around.”
“But it might be worth taking.” Della waited quietly while Chara thought through that it all meant for them. Chara needed to talk to her father now, he knew more people than her and might know of someone who could make an introduction for them. It also dawned on her that Della was waiting for instruction from her, that she had become the leader in this little venture. Chara supposed it was understandable since it had been her idea.
“Talk to your parents, see if they know anyone who can introduce us to someone with a vessel.” Della nodded. “I will do the same with my father.”
They said goodbye and Chara started walking back to her father’s farm. She felt the pressure intensely now—having a half plan was almost more pressure than having no plan. She had to find a way; all these people depended on her—as did Elphia. At least the walk home gave her time to think. If they did take the payment offered by people they could conceivably sail. It would solve their problems and get them away from the Megaran region entirely, where discovery was highest. On the other hand, taking payment from people meant they would travel in a larger group which brought new risks and dangers.
She was halfway home when she heard Della running to catch her. She knew immediately that something was wrong, she could tell from Della’s expression. Then she noted that Della had been crying, she could see the evidence on her cheeks where her tears had fallen.
“They found him,” Della said through ragged sobs. Chara felt goose bumps travel up her entire skins.
“Who?” she asked, but she already knew the answer.
“Doros. They found him in a field.”
Chara felt the earth give way and her balance failed, crumpling her down to the ground. She knew this had been coming, she knew it would happen. She’d told him and he hadn’t listened. His rebelliousness had finally killed him. She was too shocked to breathe. The intense pain was further exacerbated by the knowledge of what this would do to her parents. Chara could only sit where she was with her hand over her mouth. It felt like all the color had been taken from the world. She was unable to get her mind to do anything else. Della was crying. Chara knew that Della cared for Doros and maybe even saw a future for them together. She also suspected that Doros had been the reason that Della had agreed to come to Attica.
Chara’s father took the news badly. He disappeared for a few days and Chara didn’t know where he went; he wasn’t there when Doros’ body was returned on a cart—covered by a cloth. The village men carried him inside and left after given their deepest condolences. Della stayed outside, but she didn’t leave.
Chara lifted the cloth off her brother’s body. He looked different somehow, but peaceful. Chara saw a deep laceration in his chest. He’d been run through by a sword, which meant it was a Spartan who’d done this—Helots were not allowed swords. An image of Nicias flashed through her mind, but her mind rationalized that it hadn’t been him who had done this; they had been together at the time this had happened. It might not have been him, but she felt nauseating guilt at her own activities while her brother was murdered by the people who were oppressing them.
Chara started to clean his body. It was her job to prepare him for burial. She prayed to the gods to grant him safe passage—wishing there were things she could send with him to help him, but they had so little. All they could do was pray.
When she finished, she chose a spot near her grandparent’s graves and they started digging.
The grave was dug when Chara’s father returned. Chara had no tears left to cry by that time and it seemed to be true for Della as well. Chara knew her hair would be cut as part of the burial ritual, it would be her mother, but as she was absent it would fall to her. Della sheared her hair with a blade and placed it with Doros in the grave.
Chara’s father dismissed them when the ritual was complete and they were ordered to the house while he covered Doros with earth.
“This is wrong,” Chara said. “It is not right that they do this to us. They can’t just kill our people like this.” She felt anger seep into her bones and consume her.
“This is what they do.”
“Doros was right, they must be stopped.”
“It was those beliefs that got Doros killed,” Della said.
“And his sacrifice will not be for nothing. We must escape from here. They don’t deserve us and the labor we provide. They live because we feed them and they kill us with complete impunity!”
“They fear a revolt.”
“Maybe we should give them one.”
“We can’t fight them. I wish we could. I wish we could make them suffer as they have made us suffer.”
“We can’t fight them, but they can’t live without us,” Chara said with more confidence, letting her
rage rule her thoughts. “Then let’s make it hard for them. How useful will they be if there is no one to fight? It is all they knew. Let them sow their own crops and starve if they don’t.”
“What are you saying?”
“Let’s leave and let’s take anyone with us who wants to come. We’ll take them all. If they treat us like this, we will leave. The only reason that people haven’t is because they’ve had nowhere to go. You said yourself that people are approaching us, desperate for us to take their boys. Let’s not stop with boys, let’s take everyone. We’ll take every man, woman and child. It’s time to put a stop to this. Fighting has never served us and now Attica is in need of people and we have people desperate to leave. The conditions may never be like this again.”
“We can’t just march out like an exodus. Your speaking complete insanity,” Della said. “Could you imagine though? How long do you think it would take before the Spartans would notice?”
“They are distracted in Megara, distracted by Athens. We will sneak away and hopefully when they do notice, it will be too late and there will not be enough left of us to harvest the crops or to plough the fields. They certainly would not be enough left for them to kill off as they please.”
“It would undermine the whole Spartan society.”
“Good,” Chara said.
“It is not something we would do by sneaking oxen over mountains, or by finding a ship to sail,” Della said. “This would need careful planning and we would need help. Do you think the Messinians would help? They have offered to take men—maybe they would be open to something grander in scale.”
“It is the Athenians who would make the final decision.”
“We would need their agreement; although undermining their enemy would be in their interests. This is treason beyond anything.”
“This is for Doros.”
“I think you have lost your mind, Chara. Grief if speaking for you.” Chara could only see the beauty of the idea; although she was reasonable enough to realize the absurdity of it, but sometime swords were not the most decisive move against an enemy. Maybe when her rage settled, the true insanity of the idea would as well.
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