by Grey, Blair
But eventually, Will took a deep breath and sighed, rolling to his side. He fumbled off the condom and tied it off, throwing it somewhere in the direction of the trash can on the far side of his bedside table.
After another moment, he rolled toward me, putting his head on his arm, smiling at me as his other hand came to rest on my navel. “Well,” he said.
I giggled. “Well,” I agreed.
“Was that okay?” Will asked. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, I’m better than okay,” I said, stretching, unable to wipe the smile off my face. There was a bit of a nagging cramp in my abdomen, but it was a nice reminder. My first time.
I felt surprisingly tired. I would have happily stayed there forever. All I wanted right then was to curl into Will’s side and cuddle until we both fell asleep. To wake up with him the next morning. I was tempted, almost, to call Dad and tell him I was “staying over at Nicole’s” again. But I didn’t think he would buy that excuse again. And he might even go so far as to swing by on his way home from poker to see if I was telling the truth.
As much as I wanted to stay, I didn’t want Will to get into trouble because of me. Especially not because I was hoping that there would be some way to do this again. Fuck, I felt so good. I had never imagined that it could be like this.
“What are you thinking?” Will asked, sounding amused. “I can practically see the gears turning.”
I groaned and turned toward him. “I don’t want to go,” I sighed. “But I also know I have to.”
Will smiled and leaned over to kiss my forehead, brushing back some of my hair, his hand lingering against my cheek. “For what it’s worth, I don’t want you to go, either,” he said.
Emboldened, I said, “You should come by the diner more often. We could see each other more.”
Will sighed. “We have to be careful,” he said, as though I didn’t know that. “We can’t let anyone know that we’re, you know. Involved.”
“I know,” I said, but I was too relaxed and too contented to sound as peeved as I wanted to. I knew he wasn’t saying it like that to be a jerk. He was just reminding me that we needed to be careful. If he hadn’t said something, I probably would have said it to him.
Still. “Does that mean you won’t come see me?” I asked.
Will grinned. “I’ll see what I can do,” he promised. “I’d kind of rather have you come visit me here, like this, though. So that I can do this.” He started trailing kisses down the length of my body, getting closer and closer to the intimate spot between my legs.
Finally, I gasped and pushed his head away. “If you don’t stop that now, we’re going to have to go for another round,” I said.
“What’s wrong with that?” Will smirked at me as he kissed the tender skin of my palm and the inside of my wrist.
I shuddered, trying desperately to remind myself of what my protests were. “If I cum again like I have been, there’s no way I’m going to be able to walk home,” I warned him. “I’m going to pass out here again.”
Will sighed and dropped back on the bed. “Fair enough,” he said, grinning at me. “As much as I would like that, we probably don’t want to worry your dad again.”
“Probably not,” I agreed, forcing myself up out of bed. I located my panties tangled up toward the bottom of my bed and pulled those on, followed by my bra and my slightly crumpled dress. Then, I went back to the bed and kissed Will lightly on the lips, drawing back before it could become too heated. I couldn’t deny the fact that I wanted to get right back in bed with him, but I had to be strong.
“I’ll see you soon,” I murmured against Will’s lips.
“Mm, see you soon,” Will agreed.
I could feel his eyes on me as I headed for the door, but I forced my feet to keep moving. I couldn’t force the smile from my face, though.
13
Will
I kept a low profile on Sunday, but I had no choice except to head to the Red Eyes headquarters for the weekly meeting on Monday.
God, I felt terrible. I felt like I had betrayed Ray. I had taken his daughter’s virginity, and he didn’t even know it. It wasn’t like I had forced her or anything. She knew what she was doing. She was the one who had come to my place. But at the same time, I couldn’t help feeling like shit. Like I had somehow taken advantage of her. She was so sweet and innocent, and here I was, this huge, hulking goon.
She should be with someone better than me. And I knew that was exactly what Ray wanted for her.
I wanted to talk to someone about this. I had toyed with the idea of telling Marcus. I was pretty sure I could trust him not to fly off the handle. Especially since I had a feeling he already knew that I had a thing for Belle, but there was something stopping me.
Marcus was Ray’s man, first and foremost. I had already put myself in a position where I had to lie to Ray; I couldn’t do the same to him. As much as I wanted to trust him, there was a possibility that he would turn around and tell Ray the truth. Even if he didn’t do that, even if he agreed to lie to Ray on my behalf, that would only make me feel even more like shit. I didn’t want to put Marcus in that position.
If I couldn’t talk to Marcus about it, though, I certainly couldn’t talk to anyone else about it. No, the only people who could know about this were Belle and me, but it wasn’t like I could call her up and talk to her. And I knew she had suggested showing up at the diner, but I didn’t think I could do that, either.
I knew Ray had eyes and ears everywhere. The more I thought about it, the more I knew there had to be a reason I was the one he called when he was wondering where Belle was the morning after she’d slept over, and his timing had been so perfect, too. Right after she had left. It made me wonder if maybe he was having her tailed. It would make sense if he was worried about her safety.
And that would mean that he knew she had come over again the previous night.
I could barely keep my head up from the time I arrived at headquarters, my eyes glued solidly on the floor. If Ray knew, it was only a matter of time before he punished me. I could only imagine what the punishment could be for defiling his daughter.
Fuck, I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid. I should never have let my feelings get the better of me. I should never have let her into my place. The night I’d seen her drinking at the bar, I should have called Ray immediately.
But it was too late for any of that now. Now, I just had to deal with the consequences.
The worst part of all was the sex had been great. I liked Belle, and shit, for a virgin, she really knew how to use that body of hers. I had liked watching her fall apart like that. Even though I knew that we would both be dead if she didn’t get home before Ray got back from his poker game, there was a definite part of me that had wanted to keep her there in my bed.
It could never happen again, though.
Ray didn’t say much during the meeting. He mentioned the Unknowns, although it seemed like everyone knew about them by now. He didn’t say much about them, either, though. As everyone was leaving, he said my name: “Will.” I stopped in my tracks. “Could you come with me to my office, please? I have something I’d like to discuss with you.”
I felt like I was going to be sick. I glanced at Marcus, but if he knew what it was about, he didn’t give any sign.
“Uh-oh,” Braxton said under his breath, smirking at me. “What have you done now?”
I scowled at him, hoping he didn’t see how nervous I was. I followed Ray back into his office.
“Jesus, you look like you expect me to put a bullet through your head,” Ray said as I took a seat. He poured me a drink and nudged it toward me. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah,” I said, trying my best not to picture Ray brandishing a gun at me. I took a quick swallow of the whiskey he had poured, though, letting the burning liquid slide down my throat.
“I know we’re all a little nervous about the Unknowns,” Ray said. “It’s been a long time since Red Eyes has had any sort of cha
llenger. But from what I hear from Marcus, we don’t need to be too worried.”
The Unknowns. He just wanted to talk about the Unknowns? Relief coursed through me, and I managed to find my voice. “I just don’t want to see anything bad happen to our crew,” I said, shrugging.
“It won’t,” Ray said confidently, giving me a sharp smile. “I’ve arranged to meet with their leader. I want you there with me. Just to make sure that nothing happens.”
“Right. Of course,” I said, trying not to let on how surprised I still was that he hadn’t brought me there to discuss the fact that I had deflowered his daughter.
“I doubt they’ll want to fight,” Ray continued. “Anyway, it would be horrible manners to fight when we’ve agreed to a peaceful meeting, but I wouldn’t put anything past them. I’ve dealt with too many low-life assholes in the past.” He paused. “Anyway, if it does come to blows, I trust you.”
I tried not to squirm when he said that. I trust you.
It almost made me spill my secret, that I had slept with Belle. It wasn’t that I wanted to give him a reason not to trust me, and it had nothing to do with my ability to protect him against the Unknowns. But all the same, his warm words made me feel even more guilty than I already had.
For a second, I was sure that he must already know about Belle and me. After all, how could he had done things so perfectly, first scaring the hell out of me by calling me into his office and then making me feel like a dog by telling me he trusted me when I had betrayed that trust in the worst way possible?
But he couldn’t know or else he wouldn’t be sitting there calmly across the desk from me, talking shop.
Ray outlined the details for the meeting, including his plans. “I want them off our turf,” he said. “But if we can keep it from going to violence, which I think we can, then that’s what I’d prefer.”
“Marcus is worried that if there’s no violence, it will encourage other people to come down here. Just to test us.” I couldn’t stop myself from blurting it out. I clapped a hand over my mouth, well aware that I had basically just accused Ray of getting soft in his old age.
He just laughed, though. “Marcus is a lot younger than me and a lot less experienced,” Ray reminded me. “Trust me; I know what I’m talking about. Most of the time.”
I grinned, another unsettled feeling rolling through me. He knew what he was talking about. He had his sources, after all.
Finally, Ray was done explaining things to me, and I was free to leave. I slipped outside, waiting until I was out in the hallway before wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans.
The twins, of course, were waiting for me in the front room of the clubhouse. They were lounging on one of the sofas, just chatting, as though they had nothing better to do, but I knew they were waiting for me. They wanted to know exactly what Ray had wanted.
“So what’s the punishment?” Braxton called as I headed for the door.
I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could. “Ray just has a mission he wants me on.”
“What kind of mission?”
“None of your business,” I said coolly. “If Ray had wanted you to know, he would have said it in front of everyone at the meeting.”
I wasn’t entirely sure why the meeting was such a secret. Ray had brought up the Unknowns; it would have been easy enough for him to mention the meeting then and tell me that he wanted me there next to him for it. Maybe he’d been afraid that Marcus would challenge him on it, right there in front of everyone.
And Marcus might have done that, but I liked to think the guy had more of a sense of self-preservation than that. Then again, I would have liked to think the same about myself, but here I’d gone and slept with the daughter of the MC’s president.
“Well, whatever your mission is, I hope you don’t fuck it up,” Braxton said.
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”
“Come on, lighten up.” Braxton got up off the couch, coming toward me. He clapped me on the shoulder. “You’re so tense today, man. Practically jumping out of your skin. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” I said through gritted teeth.
“You know, you’ve been pretty off ever since you came back last week,” he continued, frowning at me. Then, he grinned, flashing his teeth. “Probably means you need to get laid.”
As far as I was concerned, that was the last thing I needed right now. No, getting laid was what had gotten me into this mess to begin with. But I was happy enough to write it off as that if it meant Braxton would stop asking questions.
I shrugged. “That’s probably it,” I said. I ducked past him and headed out the door before he could invite me out for drinks.
14
Belle
On Monday, Nicole and I both had the day off, and we got to have that girls’ day we’d been planning. I could tell Nicole wanted to ask how Saturday night had gone from the moment she picked me up that morning, but she waited until we were alone with our nails drying before she started to ask questions.
“So how did things go? With, you know.” She waggled her eyebrows at me, and I laughed.
“You can say his name,” I told her.
Nicole rolled her eyes. “So not the point,” she said. “How did things go? With Will?”
“Really good, actually,” I said.
“I’m going to need more than that,” Nicole said, sounding exasperated. “This is you every time you get a boy. Not that you do that very often. But getting details out of you is like pulling teeth.”
I bit my lower lip, trying to hide a smile. But all it did was remind me of Saturday night, with Will’s lips against mine, his teeth tugging at that same lip. I shifted in my seat.
“Come on,” Nicole groaned. “At least tell me the two of you kissed.”
“Oh, we kissed,” I said. I took a deep breath. “Actually, we had sex.”
Nicole shrieked with excitement. “Oh my gosh, finally. How was it? Tell me everything. Was it good?”
I grinned. “Of course it was good,” I said. “It was so good.”
“It isn’t always for your first time,” Nicole informed me. “I mean, my first time was pretty good, but I’ve heard that for some people, it’s just not.”
“Well, it was good,” I said.
“Enough so that you want to do it again?”
I sighed. “That’s the problem,” I said. “It was really good. And I’ve always liked Will, you know that. I want to do it again. I want more than that, though. And I can’t have any of it.”
“Whoa, slow down,” Nicole said, holding up her freshly manicured nails, heedless of the spacers between her fingers. “You can’t go getting attached to him just because you lost your virginity to him. It was just sex, right?”
“I don’t know, Nicole,” I sighed. “I’d like to say that it was just sex. It would be so much easier if it was just sex.” I paused. “It wouldn’t really, because I’d still want to do it again, but…”
“Do you have feelings for him?” Nicole asked, sounding surprised.
“I don’t know,” I groaned. This was exactly why I hadn’t called her to tell her about this yesterday. I couldn’t figure out exactly what I felt. And it scared me, to be honest. I definitely wouldn’t be the first person to get attached to the guy she’d lost her virginity to, but I didn’t think it was all to do with that. I’d liked Will for a long time now, and it wasn’t just because he was easy on the eyes.
“So you want more than just sex? Like a relationship?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said sourly. “I can’t have that, even if I want it.”
“But if you could?”
I shrugged, avoiding her searching gaze. “I guess that, yeah, if I could have a relationship with Will, it would at least be worth exploring. See where it might go. And it might not go anywhere, but I think that unless I know that, it’s always going to bother me.”
“Oh, honey,” Nicole said, shaking her head sadly.
I rolled my eyes. “
Come on, can’t we go back to just being excited that I finally lost my virginity?” I quipped.
Nicole laughed, but then, she fell silent for a while, and I knew that she was letting me think things over. And doing a little scheming of her own, no doubt.
“What are you going to do?” she finally asked.
I shook my head. “I have to forget about him,” I said. “And I definitely can’t let Dad know that we slept together. He’d have Will castrated. Or killed. I don’t know which would be worse.”
Nicole snorted. “This isn’t the Middle Ages,” she said, but she shut up at the look I shot her. “Okay, you’re probably right. He probably would kill Will. And you, for going along with it.” She paused. “But you can’t just forget about him.”
“Why not?” I asked. “I can’t ask him to risk his career, his life, his manhood. It’s too much. It’s why I’ve never dated in the first place.”
“That’s just not fair, though,” Nicole said. “Your dad can’t reasonably expect you to be alone forever just because he has control issues.”
“He just wants what’s best for me.”
“Okay,” Nicole said slowly. “And isn’t what’s best for you for you to be happy?”
“That’s part of it,” I agreed. “But he also wants me to be with someone stable. Not someone in a motorcycle gang.”
“Yeah, probably,” Nicole said impatiently. “But if Will’s the guy that you really want, you owe it to yourself to at least try. Just like you said, if you don’t, you’ll always wonder.”
I sighed again. “Yeah, but how do I tell my dad about him?”
“You don’t,” Nicole said immediately, shaking her head. “You absolutely don’t. Not ever. You’re the one who said it; he’d probably kill Will. Or at least maim him.”
“So what do I do if things really take off and Will and I end up, I don’t know, married or something?” I joked. “I just don’t invite him to the wedding?” It was a lot more complicated than she was making it out to be. I hadn’t expected her to really understand, but she was acting like it would be so easy for me to be with Will if that was what I wanted.