“They’re going to turn on you the second you’re alone, you know.” Kerdik didn’t bother lowering his voice, letting his observation carry through the ranks.
“Really? I’m not prom queen yet? Total bummer. What’s a girl with a plucky can-do smile and a shovel gotta do to win over the rapists?”
Okay, maybe my attitude was a little over the top, but you try working with glorified criminals when all you want is more blood in your tummy, and see how cool you play it. I was sweating in the humid and balmy climate, the sun making my once-white t-shirt stick to my back.
A soldier named Maurice spoke up from behind me. “Not all of us took advantage of our status. Some of us did as we were ordered and then went home to our families.”
Kerdik’s tone was sharp before I could get out a single world. “You dare address the Avalon Rose without kneeling? She may not care about her title, but I’ll see that it’s honored.”
Maurice fell to his knees, his chin lowered. “Forgive me for my candor, your majesty most high.”
I stuck my shovel in the ground and took off my hat to wipe the sweat from my brow. “Oh, jeez. You don’t have to call me that. Kerdik’s just in a mood. K, can you think of a title that doesn’t sound so pretentious? I don’t mind them calling me just plain old Ro, but something tells me you might have a problem with that. Can you think of a title that’s somewhere in between?”
“How about, ‘Rosalie, most powerful’?” Kerdik suggested.
“Pass. We’re going for not pretentious, here.”
Kerdik touched his chin in thought. “Queen Rosalie of Avalon isn’t strong enough.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, forget it. I’ll just be the Lost Daughter of Avalon.”
Maurice kept his head bowed. “If I may, your grace. How about, “Rosalie, the Gentle?”
A sweetness fell over me, endearing me to the nickname. “Aw, I think I might like that one. It’ll make me try harder to live up to the hype. Good job, dude. Rosie the Gentle it is, then. You can get up now; Kerdik doesn’t bite.”
I winced at my phrasing. Kerdik didn’t bite, but I sure did. I’d been half a day without Bastien’s blood, and though I didn’t feel like tearing into any of the guys, I wasn’t as clearheaded as I wanted to be. Too much turmoil roiled around inside my gut. My mother was dead, and the worst part was that the news of that tragedy was supposed to be a good thing. I’d murdered a woman, which felt like a giant step back for feminism or humanity, or something. I had a new desire to suck down my boyfriend’s blood, so much that he’d had to leave until I got ahold of myself. Top that all off with him having my lueur inside of him still, and I felt supremely unbalanced.
There was also the wake of vultures, who were swooping in to pick at the bodies we couldn’t move fast enough to bury. I could hear them chattering to each other as they ate, making me blanch that they actually knew some of the correct names of the body parts.
Then there was the matter of the surviving soldiers, who I didn’t bother trying to pretend I could trust. I think the part of me that believed the best in people was starting to die off. After all I’d been through, that felt like the lowest note somehow.
I went back to digging. Though we’d been at it all morning and it was passing lunchtime, I didn’t stop. The mass grave needed to be big enough to fit all the bodies that had fallen in the massacre.
When Rigby came out to get us, Kerdik stepped closer to me. I didn’t totally understand my reasons for letting Rigby live, but it didn’t feel right offing someone who had been so obviously controlled. I’d told Kerdik that Rigby’s head belonged to Brìghde, who could take her revenge on him for his espionage whenever she wished. Since his temporary pardon, Rigby had been the perfect number two, as he’d been trained so thoroughly to be for Morgan. “Your grace, your lunch is ready.”
I kept my eyes on the shovel. “Oh, that’s alright. I’m not hungry. You can have my lunch. It shouldn’t go to waste.”
Rigby’s shoulders remained tight, his posture perfect. “If you’re not hungry now, when shall I tell Fabien you’ll be dining?”
I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll catch you all for dinner.”
Kerdik and Rigby shook their heads as if they were tied to the same string, but Kerdik was the only one who overruled me. Rigs was too diplomatic for that. “You’ll take a break now. The soldiers aren’t allowed to break for a meal if you’ve ordered them to work, and not everyone is as into self-flagellation as you are.” Kerdik’s voice was clipped when he addressed the sweaty men. “You’ll take your lunch now and return to dig the grave of your fellow man when you’ve washed and finished eating. Nature is my spy, so the rocks and trees will inform me if there’s any treachery brewing in the ranks.” He looked to the sun that blazed, when just yesterday we’d been caught up in a blizzard. “Province 1 has only a single jewel left, which is more than enough to sustain the people here. However, it may take some adjusting to get used to the hotter climate. Drink water. I fear I have no patience for your weariness today. When you’ve finished with your break, dig the rest of this grave in silence. Then you’ll fill it in with the bodies of the fallen. Rosie the Gentle will have her lunch now.”
I scowled up at Kerdik as the soldiers put down their shovels and stretched. “Master Kerdik, oh wise one, thank you for bossing me and telling me when I’m hungry. I’m just a simple girl, and need a big, strong man like yourself to let me know when I should eat.”
Kerdik was familiar with my sass when I was separated from my lueur. He cast me a cocky look with a little swagger mixed in. “Always call me ‘Master Kerdik, oh wise one,’ and ‘big, strong man.’ Into the castle with you.”
I grumbled and made no move to obey. I kept on shoveling, ignoring the wary looks from the soldiers. They were more than happy to take a break and escape Kerdik’s temper, which swung with all the grace of a wrecking ball.
“What are you murmuring?” Kerdik asked, his tone sharp.
“I said, ‘bite me.’ You see those huge birds over there? That one with the broken tailfeathers sent a message to his buddy to bring more vultures in from the forest to tell them about the feast. None of you may care about the people getting scavenged over, but I do.” I held up my hand to stave off Kerdik’s protest. “I’m not asking you to be all compassionate toward the people who called for more beatings when you were tied up. I’m just telling you that I care, so let me.”
“You’re impossible.”
“You’re dreamy,” I simpered. “Did anyone ever tell you that you’re an absolute love bug?”
“Get out of the pit.”
“What? No. I just said I wasn’t finished.”
“I was only letting you do this because you seem to need to do something with your hands when your life tips on its head. You didn’t go to sleep at all last night. You’re exhausted, and getting on my last nerve.”
“I feel like I already told you to bite me. Did you need me to say it again?”
Rigby intervened before Kerdik and I could devolve further into our childishness. The soldiers had already vacated the pit and were scurrying away from Kerdik. Rigs remained on the edge of the mass grave, peering down at me. “Your grace, the servants were wondering where you’d like your things moved.”
“My things?”
“Your mother’s things, which are now yours. Where would you like them? I can have the servants box them up for you so you can take the queen’s bedroom, if you like.”
I hadn’t thought about any of the estate stuff that happened when your parent died. “Oh, um, I’m not sure. Maybe I should go give it a look and see what’s what.”
Rigby kept his chin lowered to me at all times, even as he extended his elbow to me. “Splendid idea, your grace. I’ll see to having lunch sent to your new bedroom so you can eat while you work, if that’s your wish.”
I sighed. “Okay, yeah. Thanks, Rigs.”
Rigby’s neck stiffened, finally bringing himself to look at my face with a stern expression. “No.
You’ll not forgive me for my transgressions. I do not deserve the name you gave me when I held your trust. I have my head, which is more than I expected to keep. I’ll not take your kindness, as well. Save your grace for those who deserve it.”
With that, Rigby went ahead of us into the castle, tending to the house so he didn’t have to look me in the eye anymore.
24
My New Digs, and Good Old Rigs
Kerdik watched the dynamic between Rigby and me without taking over, which was huge progress for him. He extended his elbow to me even though I was filthy, mud spattering my jeans and tank top. Despite our squabbling, I was grateful Kerdik stayed with me, monster though I was now. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know I’m being a pill today.”
“Yes, you are. But I know you. I know you’re picking a fight to avoid talking about it all.”
“Does that mean we can have the whole the-truth-is-out-there speech another time?”
“I’m afraid you need to know what’s happened to you so you don’t accidentally murder Bastien. Though, that would save me decades of loneliness, so really, you can remain in the dark as long as you like.”
I sighed as we walked over the bridge, past two guards and into the castle that felt like a mausoleum to me. That was the other reason I was avoiding sleep. I didn’t want to see the place that held such bitter memories. I stayed tight to Kerdik, my eyes falling on the nine remaining household servants. They were all lined up for me in the foyer, like I was supposed to give them some kind of Captain Von Trapp inspection or something. “Um, hey everyone. What’s up?”
Kerdik sighed at my lack of royal training. “This is what’s left of your staff after the massacre. The others who survived but proved disloyal to you were executed while you were digging your precious hole.”
I gasped. “You didn’t have to do that!” I accused with a scowl of indignation.
“It’s no trouble.” He turned to the staff. “The Lost Daughter of Avalon’s new title shall be ‘Rosie the Gentle.’ See that you adhere to it. While she may be tender, I am not, and will happily see to it she’s treated like the queen you should fear.”
I rolled my eyes. “Jeez, Kerdik. This is awkward enough.”
His posture was stiff and commanding, his jaw tight as he surveyed the servants, who all looked ready to pee themselves. “I don’t care. You’re my queen, and you’ll be respected as such.”
I slowly turned my chin up to gaze at him, understanding finally that this was how he looked out for me. It was how he saw his role when we eventually would become a family. I wasn’t sure what to do with that, so I simply held onto his arm and leaned my temple to his shoulder to soften his rigid demeanor.
Rigby went down the line, introducing me to everyone, who I mostly remembered. When we got to the end, Fabien the chef bowed his head to me. “Forgive me, your grace, but I’m not sure what to cook for you. I know you don’t eat meat, but with your new… enhancements, I don’t know what else you require.”
Kerdik answered for me. “She’s an Attelage Vampire, not a Farouche. She consumes regular food, and is bound to her fiancé, Bastian the Bold. You needn’t worry about procuring blood for her, though I do appreciate the attention to detail.”
“Welcome back, your grace.” Fabien met my eyes with that hint of sweetness I remembered when I’d hidden in the kitchen long ago. His forearms were massive, but his meek demeanor made him look absolutely precious. “The castle was most empty without you here.”
I softened at his sweetness. “Thanks, man. I missed you, too.”
Fabien bowed, and Kerdik escorted me to my old bedroom, ordering for a soumettre to draw me a bath and fetch me clean clothes (his words, not mine).
When I stood in the doorway of my old room, too many memories came back to me – both good and bad. My eyes fell on the posts of my bed, where I’d braced myself while Demi had tightened my corset beyond what the Surgeon General would’ve allowed. There was the window where I had chatted with any number of birds to keep myself company when I’d been locked inside. Then there was the bed on the raised platform, looking like a statement of sex and opulence rather than a piece of furniture.
I gulped as I pictured Demi lounging on my mattress, us rubbing each other’s feet and laughing together while we traded stories and sweet kisses. I knew he was a slave used for sex, but our relationship had been so innocent. Lately, none of my life felt young and naïve anymore. I wondered how much of my youth had been murdered when Demi lost his head.
I took a step back, afraid to get too close to the pain. “I… Is it okay if I crash somewhere else? A couch somewhere or the floor in a different room. This isn’t… I can’t…”
Rigby understood. “Of course, your grace. Shall I take you to your mother’s chambers so you can sort through her things? I can draw you a bath in there.”
I nodded. “I guess that would be better than this.” I kept my chin low, not making eye contact as I spoke to Rigs over my shoulder. “Did Demi’s family ever get his things?”
“No, your grace. Soumettres don’t have possessions. We are possessions, belonging to the queen.”
I blanched. “Did Demi have anything he liked that his family might want?”
“From what I understand his family is quite poor. I’m sure anything, even his old clothes, would be appreciated. They’re in Province 10 now, though, so my guess is they’re surviving better than they were here.”
I nodded. “Clothes, then. And the book about Michel Fourniret. Demi loved that story. Would you mind boxing up a few outfits for his family?” I counted out his siblings, asking for clothes to be brought for each of them.
“As you wish it, your majesty.” His eyes finally met mine as I stood in the doorway. There was a note of pleading in his gaze. Though he’d made it clear he didn’t want forgiveness, I saw the brokenness that plagued him. “Anything you wish, please tell me.”
25
Vampire 101
Kerdik swept through the room, seeking out errant magic that might booby trap me if I stepped on the wrong stone or something. Rigby drew me a bath and went out to bring my lunch, leaving me with Kerdik.
“You’ll be safe in here,” Kerdik ruled, sniffing the heavy red drapes that stretched from floor to ceiling. “The servants who remain seem trustworthy, serving the throne no matter who’s on it. They have no family anymore. If you want them, they can stay.”
“Fine by me. I’m only going to be here until Dad can send over someone real to rule. So long as I don’t get attacked, I’m cool. I’ve hit my limit on getting jumped, though, so spread it around for everyone to stop being a rapist, okay? I feel like that’s just a good rule to follow in general.”
“Of course.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “There are a few things I need to see to. I need to speak with Urien before the others reach him. I want to make sure my walls held through Morgan’s soldiers’ attack. I shouldn’t be more than a day, but I really can’t put it off much longer.”
“It’s cool. I’ll be alright.”
“I think Maurice can be trusted to guard you. If it’s alright with you, I’ll send word to have him posted outside your door until I return.”
“Whatever works. Fine by me.”
Kerdik sighed, and I could see the weariness in his soul that he only left exposed to me. “Get in the bath. I need to talk to you about everything, and I need you not to run out on the conversation.”
I hung my head, knowing it was time for the grand Vampire talk. I moved behind the partition and peeled my sweaty and filthy clothes off, stepping into the golden tub with care. “Alright, hit me with it. I’m a monster villain now, right? Evil mustache, sharp fangs, luring young damsels into dark corners?”
“Hardly.” He moved behind the partition to sit on the floor next to the tub, but I held my hands up to stop him, my fingers dripping over the edge.
“You have to talk to me from the other side of the partition. I’m engaged, Kerdik.” I tried to be kind, bu
t firm. When his brow creased in disapproval at being rebuffed, I held my ground. “When you and I are married someday, I don’t think you’ll want me to be naked around some other guy. Bastien deserves that same courtesy.”
“Oh, fine.” Kerdik rolled his eyes and moved to the other side, the division between us only a foot deep. “Can I at least picture you in the tub?”
“Probably not,” I replied with a small smirk. We were no doubt having the same memory of the last time he’d sat with me while I was taking a bath in this castle, not too long ago in my bedroom just upstairs. Hopefully this bath wouldn’t end in him losing his temper, and me being frozen in a block of ice.
Kerdik’s voice was gentle. “Have I told you that I love you lately?”
I lathered up and started in on my toes, cleaning between each one. “You’re stalling. You’ve been stalling all day. Just let the gavel drop. I drink blood now. I can go out in the sunlight, so that part’s not true. My skin doesn’t sparkle, either. Do I have to sleep in a coffin?”
I could picture Kerdik’s nose crinkling. “What sort of education would lead you to those conclusions?”
“The television kind.” I leaned my elbow on the lip of the opulent tub. I didn’t have the guts to ask if the thing was real gold or not. Part of me didn’t want the confirmation that people had been starving in other provinces while my mom had been bathing in a solid gold tub.
Kerdik let out a heavy sigh. “When the higher magic was set loose, Brìghde, Cailleach and I tried to wrangle it all, but some of it escaped. The element that went into you was Vampire. The Attelage kind.” His tone shifted to an ‘aw shucks’ kind of sentiment. “I wish it had been a Banshee infection you’d caught. Those are nothing to be frightened of. Banshees merely have a deafening howl that comes when they sense a death is on its way that day. If the Dullahan suddenly rise up, the Banshee feel a kinship with them. That would have been so much easier than this.”
Stubborn Girl Page 13
