That kiss was everything he had imagined and he wanted more of it. Now that he was alone with his thoughts, he could admit that much to himself. Slightly dazed by everything that had just happened, he went back over to the chair by the fire and sat. He looked down at the stain on his trousers, remembering the way she had rushed forward.
Having her so close to me is something that can never happen again. I won’t be able to control myself.
What bothered him the most was how badly he wanted to tell her everything that was on his mind. His yearning for her, that was fast growing out of control, was begging to come out. He wanted her to see just what the scent of her did to him, to have her glorious perfume tickle his nose while her soft body stood only inches away from him was something no man would be able to resist.
Does she know that? Is that why she rushed toward like me like she did?
He instantly banished the thought. Miss Isabel was as innocent as they came, though he was starting to think that her thoughts weren’t quite as pure as he first thought. The way she had stared at him right before he kissed her, eyes sparking with a heat he’d never seen in them before, told him exactly what he needed to know. She wanted him as badly as he wanted her.
To see it so blatantly before him like that did something to him he couldn’t explain. He sighed heavily, staring into the cackling fire.
They crossed the line tonight. She was his ward and he kissed her as if that didn’t matter. As if she wasn’t in London to find a husband. And yet he still couldn’t find the strength to regret what just happened, even though he knew he should. Even though he had pretended he had, watching her fill with hurt and embarrassment before she left. David was happy he spilled the wine. He was happy she rushed forward like she did. He was happy he kissed her.
Because, finally, he got the chance to taste her after all these months.
“For this night only,” he murmured to himself. “After tonight, it’s back to normal.”
After tonight, he’d go back to putting himself on a tether, playing the role that he knew he should. After tonight, he would forget all about the softness of her lips and the way she had looked at him and how easily it would have been to pull her into his arms. After tonight, he would remember his duties and guide her in finding the right husband to spend the rest of her days with.
But for tonight, David would allow himself to gaze into the fire and remember every intimate detail of that kiss, because it would surely be the last of them.
Chapter Eighteen
Isabel opened her eyes to the sound of chirping birds and the glare of the morning sun. It was destined to be a wonderful day, but she was feeling down, still feeling the effects of last night’s crying.
Slowly, she reached up and patted her eyes, hoping that no swelling had formed overnight. Then, she let her hand fall, staring up at the ceiling wishing she could simply stay in bed all day.
“Good morning, Miss Isabel,” Elisa said as she pulled the drapes further away from the window, revealing more natural light.
Isabel didn’t move. “Good morning, Elisa.”
“Are you feeling better this morning?” Elisa asked. She had stood by Isabel’s side, rubbing her back while Isabel cried. She didn’t ask why she was crying, nor did she bother to attempt consolation. Her presence alone was enough comfort for Isabel and when she finally grew tired, Elisa helped her into bed and stayed by her side until she fell asleep.
Isabel didn’t know how long she had been crying last night, though it did go well into the night, but Elisa didn’t look the least bit tired.
“I feel all right,” Isabel said blandly, because there was no other response she could have given. It was a new day and she didn’t want the Duke to think her weak simply because he rejected her last night—no matter how much the thought of staying away from him was tempting. She would have to go down soon for breakfast, which meant she would have to face him.
I can’t let him see how broken I was after that incident. But I can’t be too chipper or he’ll know I’m putting on a front.
She resisted the urge to groan just as Elisa drew nearer. “That’s wonderful,” she said, just as blandly as Isabel. Perhaps because she didn’t believe a word of it but wasn’t going to argue. “Lady Pemperton has sent word of her return today, so you won’t be able to spend the day in bed.”
“I didn’t plan to,” Isabel said as she forced herself to sit up. “I was only planning to stay as far away from His Grace as I possibly can. Although, I have a feeling he’s going to try to do the same for me.”
Elisa kept moving around the room, doing her small chores here and there while she listened. “What about breakfast?” she asked. “Do you think you’ll be able to handle that?”
“I don’t know,” Isabel admitted. There was no use hiding the fact that she didn’t want to see the Duke. It was clear as day that something had happened in the room, though Elisa didn’t know what exactly, and Isabel wasn’t sure she was going to tell her.
“I can always inform the Duke that you are feeling unwell and will miss breakfast,” Elisa suggested calmly.
“No, I don’t think that’s wise,” Isabel responded while she finally dragged herself out of the bed. “It’s not so bad as I’m making it look. I should be able to sit with him for a while as we eat.”
At least, I hope so.
She was crossed between two roads. She wanted to see the Duke, because she always wanted to see him. That, she felt, would never change. And she was also hoping to see something that would make her feel better. Some regret about his actions last night, perhaps, or a hint of the passion she had witnessed in his eyes, just so she knew it wasn’t a figment of her imagination.
But on the other hand, she wanted to stay as far away from him as she possibly could, because the humiliation would be too much to endure. When she looked at him, she’d only be reminded of how he had pushed her away from him and backed himself into a corner as if he couldn’t get away fast enough. That wasn’t something she wanted to remember and it wasn’t something she’d ever be able to forget. Seeing the Duke would only make it worse.
For now, she liked to think she didn’t have much of a choice, that she had to attend breakfast.
She got dressed in silence, her dread mounting with every step she took. She tried to hurry to the dining room, hoping she would be there before he was but when she walked in, he was already sitting at the head of the table.
His eyes fell on her the moment she walked in and she saw that his mask was back into place.
“Good morning, Miss Isabel,” he said to her.
“Good morning, Your Grace.” Her voice was under control, thank heavens. The sight of him made her throat close up with sudden tears once again and she struggled to rein them in. She made her way to the seat next to him and sat.
“Lady Pemperton has informed me that she will be here later on in the day,” he said as they began eating.
“So I’ve been told, Your Grace.”
“Ah, it looks like she has quite a few things planned. Do you know what they might be?”
She didn’t look at him, though she was surprised at the way he was speaking to her, as if nothing had happened at all. “I’m not sure, Your Grace.”
“Well, we’ll just have to wait and see.” His amicable tone was throwing her for a loop and Isabel refused to show it. “In the meantime, how did you sleep?”
“I slept well.”
“Are you excited for the day ahead of you?”
“Not particularly.”
“Why is that?”
Frustrated all of a sudden, Isabel stopped eating and looked at him. He looked innocent, as if he had no idea what he was doing right now and that made her even angrier. “There is simply nothing special about today,” she said, trying her best to rein in her frustration. “Just as how there was nothing special about yesterday, or the day before that.”
The Duke nodded his understanding and Isabel’s anger shot toward the ceiling. She
resumed eating, hoping that he would stop with his foolish, lackluster questions and let silence reign instead. She’d prefer that much more.
But the quiet didn’t last for long. “Is it because the Count hasn’t called on you in a while?”
She looked at him in shock. He didn’t look at her and she wondered if he knew she was staring. He continued eating as if he had just asked a question about the weather.
Where did that come from? What does that have to do with anything?
She narrowed her eyes at him, hoping to see through the cracks in his mask, but there were none to see. So, she let it go and said, “I’m sure the Count is just busy. I’ll see him again at the ball Lady Pemperton is having.”
“Are you excited to see him?”
“I am excited for the ball.” Isabel left it at that. She didn’t understand why the Duke was asking her such questions but she didn’t want to answer them anymore. She hoped her vagueness would dissuade him from saying anything else.
After a short while, it looked as if it did. The Duke said nothing more and they continued breakfast through tense silence. Isabel thought this was what she wanted, until she had it. She counted the seconds until it was over and once they were both done eating, she gave him a hasty curtsy and left.
She went straight to the gardens, hoping that the Duke wouldn’t follow her out there. She wanted to be alone, with her thoughts, before Lady Pemperton arrived.
Elisa trailed behind her as she walked and Isabel was suddenly tempted to tell her about the kiss. She trusted Elisa with all her heart, but the shame of the situation kept her lips closed, no matter how much she wanted clarity on the situation.
I wonder if Lady Pemperton will be able to help me? She seems to know quite a lot about these matters.
She shook her head quickly, banishing the thought. She couldn’t dare say such things to Lady Pemperton. She couldn’t say any of it to a single soul.
How will I even begin to explain how much I desire my guardian?
A gentleman who was determined to see her married and out of his home.
She couldn’t forget that. She shouldn’t forget the reason she was here in the first place. But it was so easy to and the more she thought about him, the more her shame dissipated into the usual longing she had for the Duke.
It wasn’t long before a servant came to inform her that Lady Pemperton had arrived. She found the older lady waiting for her in the drawing room, wandering around the large space as if she was looking for something. When Isabel walked in, her eyes lit up.
“Miss Isabel, darling!” she greeted. “You look lovely this morning as usual. How are you, my dear?”
She wasn’t prepared to deal with Lady Pemperton’s exuberance today, as she was in a terrible mood, but she held it in and smiled. “I’m wonderful, My Lady. You seem to be in a good mood.”
“Why wouldn’t I be when it’s such a lovely day? I came over thinking I could help you prepare for the upcoming ball. You’ll be the center of attention so I only want to make sure everything is in order, all right?”
“As you wish, My Lady,” Isabel said, trying her best not to show her resignation.
It didn’t work as well as she’d hoped because Lady Pemperton frowned and asked, “Are you all right, my dear?”
“Yes, My Lady. I’m only feeling a little under the weather.”
“Is that so? Well, I know just the thing that should help. Let us go to the markets.”
“The markets?” That was the last thing Isabel thought would cheer her up.
Lady Pemperton nodded. “Yes, my dear. We should go for a walk, you and I. Gives us some time to have a little talk and for you to clear your mind of whatever is troubling you.”
“But, I never said anything was troubling me.”
“You didn’t have to say it, dear. Now, I’ll be waiting down her for you to be ready.”
And with that, Lady Pemperton sat in a loveseat and gestured for her to get going. Isabel, knowing she didn’t have much of a choice, left the room feeling a little dazed.
How did Lady Pemperton know that I have something on my mind? Am I that easy to read?
The thought made her nervous. All Isabel had to do was not tell her. She could talk about the Count, and wonder when she would see him next. That would certainly turn her attention to something else.
Chapter Nineteen
In no time, they were ready and getting into Lady Pemperton’s carriage. She talked about the upcoming ball nonstop, and Isabel wasn’t required to respond. Isabel didn’t know if Lady Pemperton did that on purpose, but she was grateful for the chance to simply sit and listen.
Soon enough, they made it to the markets and Lady Pemperton tucked her arm into Isabel’s as they began the stroll to the store to buy fabrics, Elisa following closely behind.
“Your gown is going to be spectacular, dear,” Lady Pemperton was saying. A soft breeze rustled her hair out of place but she didn’t seem to mind. “After the impression you made with the last one, I was thinking it would be nice to have you wow everyone at every ball you attend. Soon enough, people will be looking forward to seeing you, if only to see what you will be wearing.”
“I hope a few of them will hope to see me for something more than that,” Isabel said.
Lady Pemperton laughed. “Of course they will, dear. Do you think those gentlemen will be able to stay away from you? You have such a lovely face and such a wonderful, inviting smile that they simply won’t be able to turn away.”
“Thank you, My Lady,” Isabel said, blushing slightly.
If only a certain gentleman thought the same way.
“You’re welcome, my dear. Oh, such a sweet blush, too. I do hope you get used to compliments very soon, since you will be receiving them often.”
“Is my blush too demure, My Lady?” Isabel joked. The streets were quite busy on this day, whispers of conversation drifting through the wind.
“Much too demure, Miss Isabel,” she joked back. “You will drive them all insane.”
“Isn’t that what I want?”
“Oh, such a fast learner you are!” Lady Pemperton exclaimed. “That’s right, my dear. You want them all pining after you so you can have your pick.”
Isabel laughed, already feeling better. But then her thoughts drifted to someplace dark. “Would someone truly try to harm my chances at a good match, My Lady?”
Lady Pemperton’s smile fell as she nodded. “Unfortunately, my dear, many ladies will do whatever it takes to find a good match. Oftentimes, those are the ones who don’t hold a good title, nor much land, and so they don’t stand much of a chance. When beautiful ladies like you come along, there is a good chance they may grow envious.”
“But do you truly believe someone like that might have handed me that note?”
“I don’t know, my dear,” she said. “I would prefer to think that. It seems like something we should be able to handle.”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” Isabel went on. “We have been assuming that whoever handed me the note had bad intentions all this time. But what if they don’t?”
“What other intentions could there be?”
“I… I don’t know,” Isabel admitted. She hadn’t gone very far in that line of thinking before she had suggested it to the Marchioness. “But it might be something to think about.”
“We could bear that in mind, certainly,” Lady Pemperton said with a nod. “But for now, let’s us not think about it. It’s too lovely a day to focus on such depressing things.”
Isabel nodded as they came to a stop in front of the fabric store.
I shouldn’t think about it any longer. I should enjoy my time here with Lady Pemperton.
Lady Pemperton in the fabric store was a lady in her element. She knew exactly what to do and what to find, piecing together an image in her mind that no one but her seemed to understand. Isabel didn’t mind it in the slightest. She enjoyed watching Lady Pemperton as she purchased all that she needed, though she wa
s quite confused as to what sort of gown she could possibly hope to make.
When they were leaving, Isabel tucked her arm back into Lady Pemperton’s and said, “I had noticed that you had quite an eye for fashion, My Lady, but the more I see it, the more impressed I am. It makes me quite jealous.”
“You have it, too, Miss Isabel,” Lady Pemperton said. “You just don’t know it yet. Or should I say, you don’t think you know it yet.”
“I could hardly do what you did just now, My Lady.”
“Oh, it’s simple.” Lady Pemperton waved her hand around as she spoke, animatedly. “All you have to do is envision what you’d like to have and then think of all the different pieces you need to put it together.”
Daring Deeds 0f A Forbidden Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 12
