“A little bit, but I’d like to hear it from you, too.”
I unlocked the front door and let myself in, dropping my bag by the foot of the stairs. “Let’s raid the fridge first. This is going to be a long conversation, and I’m hungry.” We went into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and was rummaging around when I heard Mom gasp. “What’s the matter?” I straightened up quickly, afraid she’d seen something from my past—namely, a demon with a soda in its crotch—in the yard.
Mom was looking out the window, her face pale. “T-The garden. I couldn’t see it last night; it was too dark. But…” She cleared her throat. “It’s still there.”
“Of course it’s still there.” I joined her at the window. “I couldn’t let it die. I loved it too much. We loved it too much,” I amended.
Wordlessly, Mom drifted to the back door and let herself outside. It’s a good thing I hadn’t taken my coat off yet, I thought ruefully, following her.
It’d snowed last week, and I’d been lazy about shoveling (because really, who else but me went into the garden?), so we had to tread carefully. I had cleared off the bench, though, and that’s where Mom went, sitting down to survey the garden.
“It looks better in the spring,” I said, wringing my gloved hands together. What the hell? What was I so nervous about?
I wanted her approval, I realized. I wanted her to see the love and care I’d poured into the garden for seven years, despite her leaving. I wanted her to know how much it still meant to me.
“I bet it does,” Mom said, smiling. “You planted more roses, I can see.”
“And a vegetable patch.” I pointed excitedly. “I had pumpkins last year! We made pie and carved them and everything. I want to do more. Beans, lettuce, tomatoes…” I ticked off the vegetables on my fingers, blushing when I saw Mom watching me closely.
“You really love this, don’t you?”
“I do.” Here I hesitated, wondering if I should admit my dream, something I hadn’t told anyone, not even Rafe. Brushing my hair out of my face, I spoke more to the ground than her when I said, “I want to open my own nursery someday.”
“I think that’s a great idea.”
Surprise jolted through me like a spark. “You think so?”
“Of course! Why shouldn’t you do something you love?”
“Because…” I kicked at a small patch of snow with my boot. “I don’t know the first thing about running a business. I can grow a few flowers back here, but what the hell do I know about everything else?” I didn’t bother to mention that I did only so-so in school, and math was one of my worst subjects.
“Hey.” Mom patted the seat next to her and I sat down. She placed her hand on my shoulder, and her touch felt familiar. Like home. “No one is born an expert. You go to school to learn these things. Life is full of risks and the unknown. You can’t give up before you even try, Gabi.” She squeezed my shoulder before letting go. “Just promise me you’ll think about it.”
I breathed in deeply before answering. Two minutes into our conversation, and she was already handing me important advice. “Okay. I will.”
Mom smiled. “Good. I’m not saying you have to run upstairs and start researching colleges right now. Just keep it in the back of your mind, okay? You’re actually lucky, you know; most people go to school without knowing what they want to do.”
“Not Rafe,” I said automatically. “He wants to play baseball. And now he can because you helped him.” I leaned closer to her. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that, Mom. How’s your hand, by the way?”
Her hands were resting in her jacket’s pockets, and at my question, she shoved them farther inside. “It’s fine. I barely feel the pain. You’re a good nurse.”
At those words, I remembered Evan’s stupid text message and blushed. I turned my head away, pretending I was interested in studying the way the snow coated the branches of our pear tree at the edge of the yard.
“Besides, it’s about time I did something right for once.” Even without seeing her face, I could hear the bitterness in her voice.
I kept my eyes averted. “Mom, that’s not tr—”
“No. Don’t make excuses for me. I screwed up, and I screwed up, and I screwed up. I’m really good at that, you know.” Mom’s voice shook, but I still refused to look at her. It was like, the moment I turned, the spell would break and we’d go back to discussing lighter topics, like college.
“I just… I wish you’d come home sooner,” I said. “So much was left up to chance and now I can’t stop thinking about you leaving. Again.” Tears blurred my vision, and I was glad I was looking away so she couldn’t see them.
“Sweetheart.” Her voice was low and plaintive. “Gabi, honey, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to leave you again, not like before. After I summoned the demon, I had to. I did it to protect you, your sister, and your father. It was a mistake, I see that now. I should have stayed and told you what happened when you were old enough to handle the truth. You obviously took after me, inheriting the Sight. I should have been here, helping you through all of that.”
She shifted closer to me, and I turned to look at her. Like me, her eyes were shining with tears, and I knew at that moment that she meant every word that she was saying. “I’m here now, Gabi, and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
And even though my brain told my heart not to listen to her, I did.
I listened, and I believed her.
Chapter Thirty-seven
As promised, I filled Mom in on my early demon hunting adventures with Rafe. She laughed at all the right parts, and grew sober during the scary moments. I could tell she regretted all the bad stuff I’d been forced to go through, but I didn’t omit anything. She’d asked to hear it all, and that’s what I was going to tell her.
When I finished, she leaned back and stretched out her legs. I couldn’t believe we were still sitting outside, but I’d stopped feeling the cold a long time ago. Weird. “I hate that you had to face all of that alone,” Mom said.
“If I’d been by myself, it would have sucked, but Rafe and the others have been supporting me, so it wasn’t too bad.” (Okay, getting kidnapped sucked, and watching my boyfriend nearly die twice really sucked, but I decided to keep that to myself.)
The look she gave me told me she didn’t believe me. I shrugged. What could I do? It was in the past. Did she want me to scream at her again, like I had in the office building? Because if that was the case, then she was in for a huge disappointment. I wanted to move on from that. Start over fresh, if we could.
“Mom?” I squirmed in my seat. Once again, I was too afraid to see her expression, so I directed my words to the ground. “What happens next? You said you aren’t going to leave, but you can’t exactly move back in…” My insides were clenched with fear as I waited for her answer.
She chuckled. “No, definitely not. Your father made it very clear last night that I’m no longer welcome here.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I was the one who left. You were right, you know, when you said I should have made an effort to contact you. But I was so afraid of what I’d find. What if your dad had moved on, gotten remarried?” Mom’s voice lowered. “I didn’t want to see that. Even though I wanted you all to be happy, the idea of you moving on without me destroyed me.”
“We didn’t. Move on, I mean. Not really.” I didn’t want to tell her about the years of sadness, or how Dad had destroyed nearly all traces of Mom after she left. Even though the pain was her fault, I didn’t want her to feel guilty, not when I could see she’d suffered as much as we had.
“But in answer to your question,” Mom said, “I haven’t decided what I want to do next yet. As hard as it is for me to leave you, I also have my friends in Manhattan. I can’t just abandon them, especially now when Silver Moon knows we exist. I need to make sure they’re safe.”
“But shouldn’t you stay away for a little bit?” I knew how desperate I soun
ded, but I didn’t care. “If they’re looking for you, you shouldn’t go back!”
“I managed to elude them once. I can do it again.”
“How did you do that, anyway? Charles one hundred percent believed you died that day.” Again I wondered how Charles would react if he knew Mom was, in fact, alive.
Mom smiled wickedly. “He thought he killed me, but instead I was just showing him what I wanted him to see.”
“Is that like what Evan did to Chloe?” I asked. “She thought she stumbled down the stairs, instead of being kidnapped by a demon.”
“Exactly. You manipulate the mind, show it new memories. It takes talent, but that’s always been my strong point.” She looked proud when she said that, but I couldn’t help but feel uneasy. She’d obviously used that same magic on me, to erase my memories of the demon in our shed. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. Even after witnessing it from the sidelines yesterday, I still couldn’t remember that happening. It was like it had happened to someone else entirely, and it was bizarre and unnerving.
Then again, could I blame her? How could she expect a nine-year-old to recover from such a traumatic event?
“Honey?” Mom was watching me carefully, and I wondered if she knew what I was thinking about.
I worried that she would think I was angry with her, when mostly I was just confused, so I changed the subject. “That day in the park… Charles killed a demon before he saw you. Did you summon that one too?”
“No, of course not,” she said. “I’ve only summoned one demon. I was at the park that day because I needed a moment to myself, to think about what I’d done to this family. I was by the lake—you remember how much I loved that part of the park, right? I used to take you girls there all the time.” I nodded. “I had never expected to see Charles. He should have been with Philip; he was only just recovering from his wounds!” Mom laughed bitterly. “I didn’t want to fight him, but I knew Charles. He always followed the rules, no matter what. If I didn’t silence him, if I ran away, he’d track me down and bring Silver Moon straight to you. And I couldn’t have that, so I struck first. He was surprised, and he didn’t want to fight back, but when he realized I was serious, he did.” She slumped back against the bench, staring up at the overcast sky. “I didn’t want to kill him. Who would Phil have left in the world if I murdered his father?”
“Charles said the same thing. The reason he fought back, I mean. He didn’t want Phil to be an orphan.”
Mom looked surprised at that. Had she really thought the only reason Charles had attacked her was because of his loyalty to Silver Moon? She really doesn’t know him, does she? “Anyway, I faked my death—”
“What about a body?” I interrupted.
“What?”
“Your body! Charles said he killed you! Wouldn’t there be a body, I don’t know, lying on the ground that he needed to bury?”
Mom covered her mouth, stifling a laugh.
My eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh. It was cruel, really.” She waved her hand flippantly. “Charles thought he stabbed me, and thought he saw my body fall to the ground. As he tried to resuscitate me, I used magic to convince him that he needed to go.” Mom paused. “Have your friends explained veils to you? And how they deter humans from entering the area?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That’s what you did to Charles? You told him to go away with your magic?” My voice rose in astonishment.
Mom shrugged. “More or less. I let him remember killing me, but everything that happened next would be a blur. He probably thought he buried me in the park, and would have taken you to use your powers as a ‘Soul Healer’ to resurrect me.” To my horror, she laughed again. “What an idiot.”
“Mom,” I chided. “That’s mean. Like, really, really mean. You shouldn’t laugh. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but poor Charles! You screwed with his brain! No wonder he’s crazy!”
“Oh, he’s fine.” Mom brushed aside my accusations. “It’s his fault for being so loyal to Silver Moon. He was going to report me!”
“He’s changed now, though. He doesn’t think Silver Moon is so perfect anymore.”
“Really.” Mom raised her eyebrows skeptically. “What changed his mind?”
“Did you know Liam and Rose Fitzgerald?”
“Rafe’s parents?” Mom asked. “Yes. I mean, when I knew them they weren’t even married yet, but they were together. Liam was Charles’s best friend.”
“You said ‘was,’” I pointed out. “So that means you know what happened to them.”
“Yes. I heard about it through my sources. It was awful. And poor Rafe. I can only imagine the pain he must have felt. But what do they have to do with Charles and his newfound hatred for Silver Moon?”
Even though Rafe had granted me permission to share this with Mom, I still had to steady myself before plunging ahead. “Well, last year, when we fought Davenport—the hunter-turned-demon who kidnapped Chloe—he told us Silver Moon had sent a demon to test Rafe. Most of the hunters had issues with Rafe for being Sightless, and they used the demon to prove that he didn’t belong in the organization.”
Mom’s face hardened. “And people wonder why I never wanted to be part of Silver Moon. These big bad hunters throw their edicts in everyone’s faces, and meanwhile they’re breaking the rules left and right.” Her brown eyes flashed angrily, and I knew she wasn’t just thinking about Silver Moon persecuting Rafe. “Do you know who ordered Rafe’s sick test?”
“Would you be surprised if I said it was Collins?” I watched her while I said that, waiting for a reaction, and I wasn’t disappointed.
Her body went rigid while her eyes narrowed. “Collins. Of course it was him,” she hissed. “He just loves befriending demons, doesn’t he?”
“You said you knew him when you were… seeing Charles. What was he like?” I asked.
Mom ran a finger over the side of the bench, following the curves of the metal. “He didn’t live in New York, but he visited enough times to make me feel uncomfortable. At first, he wanted me to work with him as an apprentice. When I refused, he started making disparaging remarks, like I was beneath him, and Charles should leave me. Gabi, you need to promise me right now that you won’t go looking for him. You were lucky enough to get away from him once, but we can’t risk a second time.”
“I promise.” And I meant it. Seeing Collins once was enough to last me a lifetime. But this wasn’t over, not by a longshot, and something told me Rafe and Charles wouldn’t be able to rest easily until Collins was out of the picture. Permanently. “If everyone hates him so much, how come he’s still around?”
Mom snorted. “Because Silver Moon is run by idiots.”
“Oh. Good point.” I shifted on the bench. “Hey, Mom? Can demons visit you in your dreams?”
Mom blinked at my random question. “Not that I’ve heard of. Why?”
“Because I’ve been dreaming about the demon you summoned. Since December, when I healed Alex.”
“Tell me.”
So I related everything—the shadows, the way the demon had tried to kill me in the latest dream—and it sounded stupid during the day. “It seemed real,” I finished lamely.
“I’m sure it did. And after everything you’ve been through, I’m not surprised that you’re having dreams like that,” she said.
“Where is the demon right now?” I asked. “After it healed Phil, did you send it back to its world? Or is it hanging around, watching me or something?” I shuddered.
“After it finished the job, I sent it back. I didn’t want it anywhere near you or your brother and sister. And demons are happier in their realms. Keeping it here, against its will, is a form of torture.” She sighed heavily. “Now, it does have a link to you thanks to the deal I made, but it can only use that link to come here once. It can’t pop up on Earth, haunt your dreams, and then go back to its realm to wait. Does that make sense?”
I nodded. �
��I guess I feel a little better knowing it’s not here, but the idea of it keeping tabs on me is horrible.”
“I know.” Her mouth turned down. “Believe me, honey, I know. I’ve put every type of ward I could think of on you to protect you, but that demon is strong. It can break them.”
“But it hasn’t yet, so that’s a good thing, right?” And the demon had allowed me save three lives. Something that did that couldn’t be all evil, right?
But then I remembered the vision Mom had shown me yesterday, and how happy it had been to torture a little girl. No, it was evil.
“I hope so,” Mom said. “I’d been hoping it would get itself killed over in its realm, and you’d be free from its curse. But obviously that hasn’t happened, or else you wouldn’t be healing. That’s why I sealed your powers. I know you hated that I did that without asking, but it had to be done, Gabi.”
“No, I get it. I knew something was wrong with me or my powers or both, with my hair turning white and being so exhausted I could barely move every time I healed.” I clenched my hands into fists. “But I don’t regret healing them, Mom. Any of them. Even if it means the demon is one step closer to snatching me up. If I’d known the truth from the start, I still would have done it. I still would have healed them.”
She blinked rapidly as she sucked in a shaky breath. “You are so brave and good, Gabi. My Gabiella…”
When was the last time I heard her call me by my full name? Now I was the one struggling to keep my tears in. I stared at the ground, pretending to be fascinated by a crack in the bricks.
“I’m sorry I did this to you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I used your life to save your brother’s. I was fully prepared to sacrifice my own life in exchange for his. It was the least I could do, after abandoning him as a baby.”
“It’s okay.” That was a pretty lame thing to say because it really wasn’t okay, but I wasn’t going to hold a grudge against her forever. Besides, together we had saved Philip. Did I regret that? No way. “And you’re helping me now, and that’s all that matters.” Better late than never, right?
The Shadow Stealer Page 21
