by Lee Wardlow
“I am,” I replied. She threw her arms around me and whispered in my ear something I’ll never forget.
Man, these kids were killing me. I hugged her back. Then I rose from the swing and walked them to the yard. “Be careful going home.”
“We will coach. I’ll see you at practice tomorrow. Skylar why don’t I just drop the kids here in the morning instead of you coming out to get them?” Dom asked.
“That’s fine,” she replied.
We watched them drive away. Gramps joined us in the front yard.
“You know who their mom is?” He asked.
“No,” I replied glancing over my shoulder at him.
“Nickolas told me this afternoon. Small world. Betsy’s uncle Frank who was her mother’s brother had a kid named Tebo, he’s about Declan’s age. He died, I think eight years ago of a heart attack. Tebo’s daughter Delilah is his mother. She’s thirty-two. She had Dominick when she was sixteen.”
“We’re related to them?”
“You are,” Gramps agreed.
“Did you tell Nickolas?”
“I didn’t. I thought maybe you would like to tell them,” Gramps replied.
“Why didn’t Grammy ever spend time with them?” I asked.
“Because her dad kicked her out when she was eighteen. She cut them out of her life completely which cut out Frank and his family out too.”
I nodded.
“She works in the diner every day during the breakfast and lunch crowd. They have to be home before she gets home at six.”
“Nickolas told you that too?”
“Yes. He also told me she gets high every night. Sometimes with a male companion. They make sure they are home because they are afraid she will disappear and not come back. They only go to Dom’s football games.”
“That isn’t good,” I said.
“No, it’s not. Dominick is just waiting to turn eighteen and he’s going to take the two younger ones from her.”
I glanced over my shoulder at my grandfather. “We need to help them.”
“Yeah, we do. I just don’t know how yet. Give me some more time with them. I’ll figure it out.”
“Thanks Gramps.”
“I’m heading inside now. You coming.”
“Sure, just a minute.”
Dad’s anger at me was tearing me to pieces. I watched my grandfather go up the stairs and I turned to Skylar. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” She was looking at me oddly unsure of why I asked.
“Because when Dad hit me I staggered back into you. I wasn’t sure if I hurt you or Luke.”
Skylar walked to me and placed her hands on my cheeks after I bent over a little so she could reach me. “I’m fine Ronan.”
I pulled her into my arms and held her close. “Are you okay?” She asked me.
“No, I’m not. I’m coming apart.”
“Is there a meeting you can go to? I wish I could help you Ronan but this is out of my league. All I can do is tell you that I’m here for you and I support you. I believe in you. You can’t listen to what Declan said. You have to not let it affect you. You’ve come too far.”
I shook my head no. There was no meeting I could go to tonight. “What about Sam?” She asked.
“I could call him,” I agreed.
“I think you should Ronan.”
I released her and stepped back. I kissed her forehead. “Go in the house. I’ll be in a minute.”
“Okay.” She sounded reluctant to leave me. “I’ll be fine. I just want to call Sam.”
She nodded then she turned and went inside the house. I reached in my pocket. My hand trembled. I really wanted something to calm the turmoil inside. The craving was bad when the shit was bad in my head. I dialed Sam’s number. “Hey Ronan.”
“Sam,” I said his name and then the words flowed out of my mouth without hesitation. I told him what had happened with my dad. He knew I was upset and desperate.
“Meet me in town for coffee?” He suggested. “At the diner?”
“I think that is a good idea,” I replied.
I went inside and told Skylar I was meeting Sam for coffee. She nodded. “If I get tired I’ll have Fionn take me home.”
“Okay. Thank you,” I told her.
“For what?”
“For being smarter than me. For understanding what I needed when I didn’t. For believing in me.” I was grateful for her.
“That’s easy. I’ll walk you to the door.”
She did. She stood there at the door with me. I stared down at her for a moment. Then I kissed her. Later, at home. I needed to evaluate what I was feeling. Something more? More than I ever felt for any woman. The mother of my child. I held her close and my heart beat heard against my chest. Tears welled in my eyes. I was lucky. This whole situation could have turned out badly. Later, Skylar and I needed to talk when my thoughts weren’t dark and filled with need for escape.
Chapter 14
Daddy was on his way home when I called him I asked him to pick me up at the farm. I didn’t know how long Ronan was going to be with Sam. I needed to talk with him and Mom about what happened between Ronan and Declan. He texted me when he arrived at the farm. I said goodbye to my family there and went outside. He was driving Mom’s car tonight.
I hopped inside when he leaned across and opened the door for me. “Where’s Ronan?” I hadn’t told him yet what happened. “You two have a fight already?”
“Not us,” I explained. “Declan and Ronan. He hit Ronan.”
“Oh no. Where’s Ronan?”
“He went to meet one of the men from his group. His name is Sam.”
“He’s heading off feelings?” Tegan suggested knowing Ronan and Declan well.
“Wanting to use you mean?”
“Yes,” Dad said looking at me after he backed up so he could drive down the lane towards Noah’s house.
“I don’t know Dad. I think he just felt like he was coming apart and didn’t want it to get that bad again.”
“He made a good choice then.” Dad turned left like he was going to his home but then he turned quickly into Noah’s driveway.
“What are doing Dad?”
“I just want to talk to Noah for a second.”
He parked the car and we both got out and walked up the long, winding sidewalk to the wide front porch. Ronan’s Aunt Lexi answered the door when Dad knocked. She taught at the elementary school where my Dad’s sister, Scarlett did. She smiled at us. “I wish this was a happy visit but I can tell by the look on your face Tegan that it isn’t.”
“Nope, I need to talk to Noah.”
“Come on in.”
Her auburn hair was braided and hanging down her back. She was short, taller than me but slender still after giving birth to three boys. Will the youngest was off to college now too. Everyone was empty-nesters these days. I often wondered what they did now that we were all gone.
“Sweetheart, you look radiant. Marriage and motherhood agree with you. Sorry we couldn’t make the wedding. Noah had a work thing we had to attend.”
“Daddy explained Lexi.” She kissed my cheek and squeezed me a little. “I’ll show you the pictures everyone took next time I see you.”
“I’d love that.”
She guided us to the family room they created out of the back bedrooms. Noah knocked down a few walls and opened up the space. “He’s right here.”
Noah was sprawled out in a recliner watching television. “Hey you two. What are you doing here?”
“We need to talk.”
“What did Declan do now?”
The tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t help it. He missed our wedding; keeping Stevie from coming too. Ronan was really hurt by that. They are avoiding their son. We aren’t going to Sunday dinner and I missed it. Noah rose from the chair and took a step towards me. “It was Declan right? Not Ronan?”
“It was,” I sniffed back my tears. “He hit Ronan at the house tonight. Delib
erately tried to humiliate him in front of some kids he’s been trying to help.”
Noah sighed. “This has to stop. I don’t understand him right now. She’s your daughter if you’re okay with them being together and how this happened I’m not sure why he’s so damn upset.”
“I mean, it’s not ideal that you want to hear about your daughter getting pregnant after a one-night stand but Ronan’s stepped up to the plate. He makes Skylar happy. I don’t really get it either Noah.”
“You know Ronan hasn’t dealt well with this either.” I looked between them. “Not remembering? Wondering if he hurt me? He went through a whole lot of emotion getting to this point. I think that’s probably why he started the group meetings too. He didn’t want to slip up or have any setbacks.”
Noah put his arm around me and hugged me. “I’ll talk with Declan over the weekend.”
“Maybe we both should?” Dad offered.
“Maybe,” Noah agreed. “Take him to lunch and then hit some golf balls?”
“Sounds good.”
Lexi rolled her eyes at the two men then she turned and walked out the door. “What Lexi?” Noah asked.
“Anything to hit golf balls Noah,” she teased. “Any catastrophe…let’s hit some golf balls. I’m going to see if the girls want to get together then.”
“Anything to shop Lexi,” he teased her right back.
She scowled at him. “I hate shopping and you know it but I love my girls. Maybe we can work on Stevie at the same time.”
“A good idea,” Tegan replied. “I’ll talk with Rhett about it too.”
“These two need our love and support,” Lexi said. “Not anymore stress that accompanies being a newlywed with a new baby.”
“Thank you guys,” I said to them trying not to cry.
“You’re welcome,” Noah replied. “Don’t get too excited though. Declan has a thick head.”
**
Mom said the same thing as I sat at her kitchen table munching on ice cream with hot fudge drizzled over it. Her and Dad sat opposite me watching me. Dad’s chin was resting in his hand observing me with amusement as I inhaled my second bowl. I was stress eating, they both knew it.
“Declan can be a jackass. He always could be. When Stevie decided to go away to school he broke up with her without discussing it. Just flat out broke up. Took them seven years to get back together.”
I shook my head. I went for a third bowl and Mom stopped me. “Do you really want another bowl?” Her hand rested on mine. Her brow was wrinkled in concern for my weight gain, I knew.
“I do,” I replied. I was worried about Ronan.
She backed off, throwing her hands in the air and let me have my third bowl. I added extra syrup to this one. Daddy just laughed. “I don’t know how to make it better,” I cried.
“Skylar, I think you aren’t the problem here and neither is Ronan,” Mom told me.
“But he’s hurting.” I scooped ice cream into my mouth and chocolate syrup dripped down my chin. She wiped it off before it plopped onto my white shirt.
“Nice save,” Daddy told her.
“Hey, anybody home.” Ronan called from the entry of the house.
“We’re in here,” Daddy shouted to Ronan.
I shoveled more ice cream into my mouth. My eyes were red rimmed from crying. He stopped in the doorway and just looked at me. My eyes met Ronan’s over a heaping spoonful of ice cream. Then he smiled at me. “Are you okay?” He asked.
“I think the question is, are you?” I shoved the sweet, cherry cordial into my mouth. He walked across the room and sat down beside me. He laid his hand on my back.
“Sam was an excellent suggestion. He said to tell you that you are a keeper.” I chuckled between trying to suck down the ice cream in my mouth and trying not to cry. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“I want to be able to do more for you and I can’t.” I could feel the tears beginning again. I laid the spoon down and he moved the bowl away from me.
“I think you’re drunk on too much sugar,” he teased. “Stop it.” I looked at him puzzled. He pulled me a little closer. ‘Sky, you can’t fix me. I can only fix myself. You did your job. Made a great suggestion. Supported me. Loved me like a wife is supposed to do. Stop beating yourself up for not being able to do more.” I nodded. “I think we’re doing great. Don’t you?”
I nodded again afraid that my words would come out on a sob if I tried to speak. He kissed my temple and gave me a squeeze. “Are you okay Ronan?” Mom asked him.
“I’m better,” he said. “Sam did help me gain some perspective. He knows you both and Mom and Dad.”
“Who is he?” She asked, her eyes narrowed contemplating who Sam might be.
“Sam Clifton,” he replied. “Class between Tegan and Dad.”
“I remember him,” Dad replied. “Is he a recovering addict too?”
“He is and pastor of the church where we hold our meetings,” Ronan told us.
“He was a hellion in high school,” Mom said. “He’s a pastor?”
Ronan laughed out loud. “He is and he’s a very smart man.” He looked at me. “Are you ready to go home? You look tired.”
“That’s called a sugar coma,” my dad teased me. “She’s eaten three bowls of ice cream smothered in chocolate syrup.”
“Thanks Daddy.” Ronan just shook his head at me.
“Come on, I’m taking you home.”
He took my hand and lifted me from the chair. I kissed Mom and Daddy and Ronan kissed Mom’s cheek. They told us goodnight. Then we went to Ronan’s truck.
“How did you find me? I forgot to text you.”
“Gramps said Tegan picked you up. You weren’t answering your phone so I drove by the cabin you weren’t there so I assumed you were here,” he said backing out of their drive.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I am better. He has a way of putting things into perspective.”
“Good.” I wanted him to share with me what Sam said but he seemed lost in his thoughts so I didn’t push him. At the cabin, he opened my door and helped me down from the truck. Quietly, we went inside. “I’m going to take a bath I told him.
“Okay.”
I laid my purse on the table at the entrance and went to the bathroom. I turned the taps and the water flowed into the large, claw footed bathtub. I poured bubbles in and started undressing. I hadn’t shut the door so I was surprised when I looked up and saw Ronan standing in the doorway watching me. I dropped my shirt to the floor. I stood and shoved my pants down my legs not taking my eyes off his face. “Want to join me?” I asked.
He frowned. “I have never taken a bubble bath with a woman before.”
“Who better to have your first bubble bath with than your wife?”
He nodded his head. Then I noticed in his eyes the need and raw hunger. I removed my bra. He removed his jeans. I dropped my panties and he lost his boxers.
“Now what?” He asked.
“Well, I’ve never done this with another person either but I suggest you get in first and if you don’t mind I’ll sit in your lap.”
His eyes twinkled with mischief. I knew him. I knew he wanted to say something smart to me but he didn’t when he saw my face flush with embarrassment. He stepped into the tub and cringed at the warmth of the water. “Are you sure you should be sitting in water this warm?” He asked. “This is hot enough to fry my nuts.”
He sat down and let out a gasp. Then he turned off the water. “Come here little lady,” he said in a completely grotesque voice. I rolled my eyes at him and slipped over the edge of the tub and let him guide me in to his lap. “Ronan,” I scolded him. He laughed at me. I moved a little to the side to avoid his already hard cock.
I found my comfortable spot and leaned back so my head was resting next to his. We were surrounded by bubbles. “So what do you do in the bath that is so enjoyable?” He whispered in my ear.
I turned my head a little. “Not what you’re thinking,
” I replied.
“Oh but you moan and groan like you’re touching yourself Skylar,” he insisted. He ran his hand across my nipples and I shivered in his arms.
“I’m a noisy bath taker. Nothing else,” I defended myself. Sure I pleasured myself just not in the bathwater.
Ronan laid his hands flat against my belly where he saw Luke move. “You like that don’t you?” I asked.
He nodded. “Sam told me to concentrate on my priorities,” he said after a few minutes. He laid his cheek on mine.
“That would be?”
“You for one,” he replied. “Especially right now while you’re pregnant. Then Luke and building a solid home for him because that is important to us.”
“It is,” I replied. I laid my hands over his. I moved them a little to the right so he could feel our son moving. “Do you have any regrets about this Ronan?” I asked. “Did you feel trapped by me and Luke? Especially me?”
He pressed his warm lips to my neck, just below my ear. “No, never.” His voice was husky. His breath like fire against my skin. I groaned. “You’re the best thing I’ve had right in front of me and I didn’t even realize it. I looked forward to our lunches Sky. I just didn’t know why. You have always made me happy.”
His fingers were tracing circles around my belly. His eyes were focused on what his hands were doing. I was watching his face. “You said you loved me this afternoon when my dad was berating me in front of the kids. I sensed something different in how you said it.” Suddenly, he turned his head and was looking at me.
Oh damn. He picked up on that. Ronan moved one finger up to my chin and tilted my face towards him. “Thank you for loving me. I don’t always feel love worthy.”
“You are,” I replied sounding breathy.
He kissed me, a sweet, gentle kiss. It only took seconds to make me want to slip back over and connect our bodies and ride him where water would slosh over the side but right now…I needed this intimacy not just sex. Honestly, I thought he did too.
He wrapped both arms around my chest. Not touching me intimately but it was the most intimate thing he had ever done. “I’m going to be in the delivery room with you aren’t I?” He asked.
