Seeing Her

by Maria Jackson

  Chloe moved forward, then hesitated again. “How does this work?”

  “Get on the back.”

  After a moment, the seat shook slightly and Chloe’s arms wrapped around Jennie from behind. The heat of the girl’s body was enough to send a slight tremor through her. Chloe was only about an inch shorter than Jennie’s five foot six, and she was curvy. Feeling her breasts press against Jennie’s back made the blood in Jennie’s head rush downwards.

  “Um, do you have a helmet?” Chloe asked.

  “Nope.” Did this girl even know who she was talking to? “It’s only a few minutes from here.”

  Once the bike was on the road, there was no chance to talk. Someone else might have been able to yell at her, but Jennie never would’ve been able to hear Chloe’s quiet voice.

  Jennie was silently amazed that she was hanging out with Chloe. In all the time they had known each other, she had never made an effort to reach out to her. Of course, Chloe hadn’t either. She’d even been a little combative when Jennie had first spoken to her earlier. But the more Jennie talked to her, the more she found she liked the girl.

  She leaned into the handlebars, her eyes on the road but her mind on the soft body pressed up against her. It was hard not to think about what Chloe would be like in bed. She’d be shy, of course. But maybe she had some passion in her as well.

  What kind of experience did Chloe have? She was so good-looking, but she never spoke to anyone. Surely some girl out there had devirginized Chloe by now. Of course, none of the waitresses had gotten involved with her – as far as Jennie knew. She frowned as she considered the idea of it. She hoped none of the others had touched Chloe.

  Gripping the handlebars, she tried to focus on the road. She didn’t take other people around often. Riding was slightly different, a little wobblier, with two people on the bike. She could feel the tension in Chloe’s body. Had Chloe even ridden on a motorcycle before?

  Jennie parked outside the house. When they dismounted, her question was answered. “That was pretty cool for my first motorcycle ride,” Chloe said.

  For a first-timer, her calmness was actually impressive. Jennie wished she’d had a helmet for Chloe. It would’ve made the ride much easier for her. Chloe must have been pretty scared, and she hadn’t even shown that she was nervous.

  “You did good,” Jennie said, pointing her toward the door.

  Hopefully it wouldn’t be too messy inside. She cleaned when it was absolutely necessary. It rarely mattered because the only people who came over were booty calls. Even then, she normally found it more efficient to go to their place so she could leave as soon as they were done. When the other girls came here, they sometimes tried to stick around.

  Jennie led Chloe inside and kicked off her shoes quietly. She glanced around, knowing that the fading curtains and torn up furniture wouldn’t look great to an outsider. It was Deena’s house. She and another tenant rented from her. She would have liked for her to spruce it up a little, but she was going to move as soon as she could anyway. She deserved better than this.

  Although Chloe pushed up her glasses, she made no judgments about the place. Whether she liked it or not, she made no comments about it. Jennie wondered if she would go silent again. Now that she’d heard Chloe’s voice, she hated the idea of losing it.

  They could have sat at the kitchen table, but Jennie figured Chloe would feel more relaxed in her room. “Come with me. All my things are in there.” Chloe bit her lip, but she followed.

  In Jennie’s room, she sat Chloe in front of her desk. Taking a seat opposite on her bed, she pulled rolling papers out of the desk drawer. They were close enough for their knees to almost touch as Jennie leaned over to the desk. When she pulled back, she was conscious of the lack of that body heat. It emanated off Chloe, making Jennie crave more.

  Once she’d placed the rolling papers perpendicularly on her lap, she looked at Chloe expectantly. Chloe looked back at her in confusion. Her innocence was definitely cute.

  “What?” Chloe asked.

  “I’m going to need the weed if you want to smoke it.”

  “Oh!”

  Her fumble to pull the baggie back out was even cuter. Jennie liked catching Chloe off guard. She would have liked to make her blush, too. Maybe that could come next.

  With the drugs back in her hand, she crumbled about a gram and began to roll the papers together with practiced familiarity. “I have to admit, I didn’t think you would want to buy this.”

  Chloe stiffened. “You have a lot to learn about me.”

  “I’ll bet I do. Have you done a lot of drugs before?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “It’s your first time?”

  Although Chloe cringed, she told the truth. “Yes.”

  Jennie nodded. She’d figured as much. Why exactly had Chloe decided to make tonight her first night? Could it simply be that no one had offered them to her before?

  For now, she would try not to interrogate Chloe too much. The girl was in her house, and she should try to set her at ease. “You’re going to like this,” she said. She finished rolling and licked the papers to stick them together, staring Chloe in the eye.

  “Pot in general?”

  “Yeah.” Jennie leaned back, settling the joint on her leg. “It calms you down. Makes everything seem okay. It’ll probably hit you hard this time, too – that’s if you feel it at all.”

  Chloe shifted in the chair. “Why wouldn’t it?”

  “Sometimes it takes a few tries before you start feeling it. Course, it helps if you know what you’re doing. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you how to do it right.”

  “Okay.”

  Damn, Chloe was cute. She sounded so nervous, like she was trying to be brave and barely managing it. She was looking at Chloe hard now. Trying to see her, really see her.

  Chloe did have a personality when Jennie could get her to talk. She was plucky and sweet and a little sarcastic. Jennie liked the combination more and more. Her resolution not to interrogate Chloe faltered as her curiosity swelled.

  “What about other things?” Jennie asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “If this is your first time. Does that mean you haven’t done other things, either?”

  Chloe glanced at her, and Jennie was again aware of how close they were. “Are you asking if I’m a… a virgin?”

  Jennie raised an eyebrow. “Guess I am.”

  “Not at all,” Chloe said a little too quickly.

  What did that mean? Jennie was definitely intrigued.

  Not for the first time, she was glad she’d stopped to talk to Chloe.

  THREE

  What had Chloe gotten herself into? Her heartbeat felt like it was going in double time. Being at Jennie’s place, sitting here in her room, was nerve-racking in a way that made waitressing seem easy. The room’s compactness forced them to sit close to each other. From her spot in the desk chair, Chloe could smell Jennie’s cherry scent.

  Her heart had been racing for about an hour straight. At least she hadn’t frozen up and gone silent the way she so often did. It happened less when she was one on one with someone. Jennie made her even more nervous than most people, but she was still managing to talk.

  Jennie didn’t immediately respond to her inane answer. Not at all? It wasn’t completely accurate, and Chloe knew she had practically squeaked out the words. By all rights, Jennie should have been looking at her funny.

  As Chloe worried, she glanced at the window. It was still pitch-black out. It had to be close to midnight now. She was never up this late, even on work nights. She was going to be exhausted for her shift tomorrow… or today, rather. She had to be back at the restaurant at five-thirty tonight. Somehow, being here with Jennie was worth it.

  Her eyes drifted back to Jennie, who was still focused on the joint in her hand. Jennie was kind of rude and cynical, but Chloe was beginning to see that there was more to her than that. After all, Jennie had been friendlier to her tonight tha
n most of the other girls put together. Only Paula had made this kind of effort to include her, and that was because they went so far back.

  Chloe didn’t blame anyone for not reaching out to her. She didn’t reach out to them either. But it still felt good when someone put in the work to get to know her. The other waitresses had never asked her many personal questions. Although she understood, she still felt left out.

  At last Jennie looked up at her, toying with the joint in her hand. Her attractiveness was overwhelming. “Not at all, huh?”

  “That’s right,” Chloe said. She wanted to sound confident, but her voice came out as quiet as usual. She wasn’t about to tell Jennie that her experiences had all involved massive amounts of alcohol. As long as Jennie didn’t guess, Chloe would keep that to herself.

  “Getting laid all the time, are you?”

  “I wouldn’t put it quite like that.”

  Jennie raised her eyebrows. Chloe noted they were a few shades darker than her auburn hair, and while they seemed to be natural rather than make-up, they were very nicely manicured. Then she told herself to stop analyzing Jennie’s face.

  “How would you put it?” Jennie asked.

  Biting her lip, Chloe looked at the ground. She was going to get turned on if she kept looking into her coworker’s steely eyes. “I don’t feel like telling you that.”

  “Hmm.”

  Since Jennie seemed satisfied for the moment, Chloe tried to regain her calm. She was just thankful that Jennie wasn’t pushing the question. Those nights were something she didn’t want to discuss with anyone, especially Jennie.

  Truth be told, those experiences had barely been better than masturbating. Chloe had been eager to do it, waiting until she was twenty-one and could go to the bars. She’d gone out on the very night of her birthday.

  Since she had no friends she could trust enough to go with, she had gone on her own. With her looks, it had been easy enough to get attention. But there was still talking involved. Feeling like the other girl was judging her the whole time, she hadn’t been able to relax and enjoy the experience.

  She’d done it two or three times, making out with girls and groping them on the dance floor. Once it’d gotten to the point where they’d fingered each other in a bathroom stall. On every occasion, Chloe was too drunk to enjoy anything. Finally she resolved to stay celibate until she found someone she could feel comfortable with.

  Abstinence was better, and much less risky, than that kind of unsatisfying sex. Never mind that she was never going to find someone like that, and that she’d probably go the rest of her life without getting laid again…

  Jennie held a joint out to Chloe, who blinked back at her. Chloe had almost forgotten the reason they were there. She was tired, and she didn’t know how the weed would affect her. From what she’d heard, the drug made people paranoid. Her anxiety was already at an all-time high, and she didn’t feel like experimenting anymore. She wished she could be back home playing with her cat or running on the treadmill in her home gym – anywhere that wasn’t this strange new situation.

  “I don’t think I want to smoke right now,” she said.

  Although she braced herself for an unpleasant reaction, Jennie didn’t complain or even laugh at her. Instead, she set the joint and the baggie aside. Chloe tensed slightly as Jennie patted the bed next to her. Chloe moved over hesitantly, not knowing what the girl wanted.

  Jennie placed her hand on Chloe’s knee. The gesture was casual enough that Chloe could have imagined she’d done it without thinking. But the way Jennie kept her hand there let her know it was no accident.

  “You don’t feel like smoking,” Jennie said, her voice low and meaningful. “What do you feel like doing?”

  Chloe’s throat went dry. Was she imagining what Jennie meant by that? There were any number of possible interpretations, and the one she was thinking of was the least likely. Jennie wouldn’t be into her like that. She only meant that they could do something else if Chloe wanted.

  “Hey,” Jennie repeated. “If you don’t want to smoke, what would you like to do instead?” Her hand tightened on Chloe’s knee.

  Chloe stared into Jennie’s gray eyes. No, she wasn’t imagining this. Jennie was seriously hitting on her. This was happening so fast, and it was so unexpected. She sat there for a moment, barely able to breathe. What might happen if she said yes?

  She pushed up her glasses with shaky fingers, imagining kissing Jennie. They were only inches apart. If she leaned forward, or gave Jennie the go-ahead to do so, it could actually happen. Her clit twitched at the mere idea of it. They were alone in Jennie’s place, and it was late at night. A lot more than kissing could potentially happen.

  Chloe had no idea what to say, not that she could have gotten the words out anyway. Words had completely failed her. Maybe she’d have been able to come up with some if she had any clue of what she wanted. Jennie was almost insanely attractive, but she terrified Chloe. What was Chloe supposed to do?

  Since she just sat there dumbly, Jennie eventually withdrew her hand. “No worries,” Jennie said.

  Chloe’s legs were unsteady as she stood up. She hoped her shakiness wouldn’t be visible to Jennie. Clearing her throat, she managed to formulate a sentence. “I better get home.”

  “There’s no rush,” Jennie said, looking strange. “We can hang out if you want. You’re here anyway.”

  Chloe prayed she didn’t think she was rejecting her. Surely Jennie would be able to tell that she was too nervous to continue. If she knew anything about Chloe, she should be able to guess that much.

  “You want to hang out with me?” she asked.

  “Sure, why wouldn’t I? You’re cool.”

  Although Chloe wasn’t sure what she was doing, she sat down again. If she hadn’t been so nervous, they could have been making out right now. She could almost feel Jennie’s hands roaming over her body. Would she grope wildly like one of the girls from the lesbian club? Or might her touch be more gentle?

  “Sorry, I just felt like it was getting late.”

  “It is,” Jennie said.

  As Chloe glanced around, her eyes landed on an alarm clock. It was almost one in the morning! “Are you sure you want to hang out now? You don’t want to sleep?”

  Jennie gave a languorous shrug. “I can sleep whenever.”

  “That’s true.”

  Hanging out was a foreign concept to Chloe. It’d been ages since she’d hung out with anyone outside her family. She only had a few people she was comfortable talking to, like Paula, and she was aware that they considered her more of an acquaintance than an actual friend. What did a girl like Jennie even do when she hung out with her friends?

  “So, you’re going to stay and chill?”

  “Um, maybe another time.” Chloe’s heart was pounding too hard for her to do anything but go home.

  Jumping up, Chloe moved toward the bedroom door. She had to get out of here. Had to get back to a safe place where things made sense and no one confused her.

  Jennie was one step ahead of her, opening the door to let her into the hall. She glanced around until Jennie pointed her toward the front entrance.

  “I’m really sorry,” Chloe said, speeding away as fast as she could. “I need to feed my cat. She must be hungry.”

  Behind her, Jennie sounded almost annoyingly calm. “I told you, no worries. Do you want a ride?”

  There was no way that Chloe could deal with a ride from her right now. Being pressed up against her on her motorcycle again sounded more like torture. Why couldn’t she stay and see where this was going to go? She cursed herself for her cowardice. She wanted Jennie badly, but she was terrified. If she stayed, she’d be sure to do the wrong thing and make Jennie hate her. At least she’d keep her pride if she left.

  As she opened the front door, Jennie stood behind her with her hands at her sides, slumped over slightly as if regretting that Chloe had to leave.

  “This was… fun,” she said. “I’ll see you at work
tomorrow.”

  “Sure, sure,” Jennie said. “We can talk at work.”

  Jennie wanted to talk to her again. “That sounds good.”

  She put her hand on the doorknob, but Jennie stopped her before she opened it. “Here.” She held out the wad of bills from earlier.

  Chloe glanced from her hand to her face. Jennie was giving her her money back? If anything, she should be giving her the drugs she’d bought. She supposed Jennie had figured out she no longer wanted them.

  “You can have the joint too if you want,” Jennie said as if reading her mind. “I feel bad for charging you a couple times the normal amount.”

  Chloe gaped at her. Jennie was trying to rip her off earlier?

  “A girl’s gotta turn a profit.”

  Wordless, Chloe waved off the proffered joint. If Jennie was trying to put one over on her before, she had changed her mind now. Why? Did she like her that much? Had they actually bonded?

  “Okay,” Jennie said, putting it back in her pocket. “I’ll smoke you up anytime you decide you want to try it. No cost, of course. Just for fun.”

  As much as Chloe wanted to respond, she had completely lost her voice. Everything Jennie said and did was leaving her with no sense of her bearings. All she could do was nod as she pulled open the door. She walked away with her head spinning.

  In the light of dawn, Chloe paced toward her parents’ house. Her feet were heavy, her stride slow, her mind in a fog. She had a long walk ahead of her. Hopefully the journey would help her straighten her thoughts. God knew she needed it. Things could have been worse

  She couldn’t have predicted what would happen after Jennie first spoke to her in that parking lot. She might have made a new friend tonight.

  As she took each step, the arousal that pulsed between her legs made it hard to even walk.

  She might have made a new friend… or she could have found something more.

  FOUR

  Jennie came to work a minute late in case Chloe wanted to avoid her. When she looked back at other nights, she recalled that Chloe usually finished changing before anyone else.