Seeing Her

by Maria Jackson

  Sucking in a breath, Chloe took in how angry Paula looked. She doubted she’d even heard her swear. Yet as she stood there, she heard it for herself. “You lying bitch,” Paula yelled.

  For her part, Jennie looked tense. Her grey eyes darkened as Paula ranted at her, and Chloe realized with a gasp that she was balling up her fists. They couldn’t get physical in here. Jennie might have a hot temper, but Paula wouldn’t stoop to violence. She was too mature for that. Yet as Chloe watched, Paula only looked more enraged.

  Someone had to act before one of them got hurt. Tony, someone, anyone…

  Paula’s voice raised higher. The pounding music drowned out what she said, but Chloe was certain that things were escalating. Paula’s face was contorted in a terrifying display.

  Sneering back at her, Jennie drew back her arms and shoved Paula in the chest.

  Chloe would’ve liked to move forward and help Paula. She wanted to demand of Jennie what she thought she was doing. At the very least, she wished she could hear exactly what they were saying. But she was frozen where she stood.

  Whatever Paula had done, she couldn’t deserve to be pushed like that. Then again, she must have, because Jennie wouldn’t do that for nothing. Chloe’s affection for Jennie surged to the surface, and she hoped against hope that she would be all right.

  As she thought about it, Chloe was almost glad Jennie had chosen Paula to fight with. If no one was going to intervene, she was the safest person to argue with. Chloe couldn’t picture Paula getting physical with anyone over anything. She’d maintain self-control no matter what happened.

  Chloe nodded to herself, certain that Jennie would be okay – and then Paula staggered back from the shove, raised her hand, and slapped Jennie.

  SIXTEEN

  Jennie stood a few inches away from Paula, her hands in fists and her teeth gritted. She was acutely conscious of everything in her surroundings. She had the wall on her left side, while her right and front were open to the room. If it came down to it, she could get out the front door before Paula knew what was happening.

  But Jennie had no intention of running like a little bitch. She could take Paula on. If Paula kept going the way that she was, Jennie would actually take pleasure in it.

  “You’ve gone too far,” Paula said in a low voice. “I always knew you were good for nothing. I knew you were bringing drugs into this restaurant and selling them to your coworkers. I knew you were a bad influence on everyone. I should’ve kept Tony from ever hiring you.”

  Jennie stood back, quietly seething. She would only get violent if Paula didn’t give her a choice. Unfortunately, it looked like that was going to happen.

  “This is way beyond anything else you’ve done,” Paula ranted. “You went and sold drugs to the customers. These people come here for a fun experience, not to get fucked up on cocaine. You did this to our restaurant. This isn’t how we operate.”

  Jennie let her talk. Her anger was misplaced, and that only pissed Jennie off more. Paula didn’t even give Jennie a chance. She considered her completely rotten. For that, Jennie had zero sympathy for her.

  “I should tell Tony right now,” Paula went on. “I should go ahead and get you fired. You’ve had enough chances.”

  “Good luck with that,” Jennie said, her voice a low hiss. “It was Tony’s own idea.”

  Paula didn’t even pause to question whether Jennie might be telling the truth. “That’s not true. Why would you say something like that? Tony cares about this place, unlike you.”

  Without moving her eyes, Jennie was conscious of a crowd forming around them. Paula’s rising voice was drawing attention. Well, let everyone watch. Jennie didn’t care. It wouldn’t make this any worse than it already was. Only one person’s opinion mattered to her.

  As she glanced away from Paula for a brief second, she saw that exact person was standing several feet away, watching them.

  Fuck. Having Chloe so close made everything that much worse. Jennie would’ve done anything to shelter her from what she was about to see. She wanted Chloe to have only the best possible opinion of her. But some things couldn’t be hidden.

  “I’m only telling the truth,” Jennie grated out.

  Paula shot a glance over at Chloe, then turned back to berating Jennie. Her voice rose loud enough that Chloe would have to hear her. “You lying bitch. How could you do this? Do you know what could have happened if those people had snorted too much cocaine? This restaurant would be liable for everything.”

  “Ask him,” Jennie challenged. Whatever loyalty Jennie had to Tony had disappeared when his little protégé had come here and started yelling at her. He’d said that the conversation never happened, but Jennie doubted he would lie to Paula’s face.

  “You have some kind of nerve. You know, it would be one thing if you did this and owned up to it. Lying about it is just screwed up.”

  Jennie’s nostrils flared. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  If Paula had heard her, she ignored her. “You don’t even care, do you? You just wanted to make a few dollars, and you’re willing to say whatever it takes to justify yourself.”

  Jennie was nearing her breaking point. “Shut up before you regret it.”

  “You’re not good enough for this restaurant,” Paula said, still raging. “And you’re not nearly good enough for my friend.”

  Jennie’s nostrils flared and her fists tightened. Soon her anger was going to escalate into violence. Paula pissed her off like no one else in the world. She’d located Jennie’s greatest insecurities, and she seemed to actually take pleasure at tapping into them.

  “You want to bring Chloe into this?” Jennie demanded. If she could get Paula away from this subject, she might have a chance of controlling herself.

  But Paula wasn’t to be deterred. “Yeah, I do. That girl is like my sister. She’s a great person, and you’re a piece of shit. Of course I don’t want her anywhere near you. I told you before to stay away from her.”

  “Well, I didn’t. And I’m not going to.”

  “Stay the hell away from her,” Paula threatened, her voice rising.

  “You need to back off.” Jennie punctuated the sentence with a shove.

  It was a light push, more of a warning than an aggression. But Paula must have been caught off guard, because she staggered back more than she should have. Jennie gloated internally as she watched her fight to regain her balance. No matter what might come of this, she’d be content when she looked back at this moment.

  Paula heaved herself back up. “What the hell?” she spat. “Get ahold of yourself.”

  Jennie practically breathed fire as she took a step back. As much as she wanted to, this wasn’t the time to hit Paula for real. This was escalating too much. If they went much further, she’d end up in jail for assault.

  “She doesn’t know what you’re really like,” Paula said. “If she did, she wouldn’t go anywhere near you.”

  “Well, it’s a bit too late. I already fucked her.”

  An exaggeration, but close enough. It had the intended effect of getting Paula into a rage. She hauled back and slapped Jennie before she knew what was happening. There was no time to dart away. Pain sliced through her face, emanating from her cheek.

  Jennie grinned at her despite her pain, smug about having gotten to Paula. The rest of the restaurant was silent, and people through the main room watched them. But Jennie’s gloating came to an abrupt halt when she met Chloe’s eyes.

  Chloe stood there, unmoving. Her face was pained. Jennie fought to hear her voice as she said, “How could you?”

  She’d seen everything, including Jennie shoving Paula first. And she’d definitely heard Jennie’s last comment. Jennie had seen the look on her face before. It was exactly like how her mother had looked after her dad had left… a look of betrayal. There would be no coming back from this.

  “Go away,” Jennie said. “Just leave.”

  Jennie didn’t want Chloe to see this side of h
er. Chloe had only seen the best part of Jennie recently, the part that very few people actually got to see. It would all go to shit if she saw her now. She suspected it might be too late.

  Tony came running over. Chloe was still standing there when he got to the group. Putting both hands on Jennie and Paula’s shoulders, he shook his head at them with clear disappointment. “You two, out. Now.”

  Before Jennie could protest or ask Tony to tell Paula the truth, he had moved them both toward the door. Jennie had thought she’d get kicked out of the restaurant. Things were generally peaceful here, and there’d never been violence before.

  Paula looked even more outraged than Jennie felt. The big sister herself was getting tossed out. That gave Jennie some satisfaction. Jennie could live with being humiliated if the same was going to happen to Paula.

  Jennie walked outside, biting her tongue and not looking at Paula. Once they got outside, Tony gave both of them a light tap on the shoulder. “You two can settle your differences on your own time.”

  The two waitresses glared at each other as Tony went back inside. Jennie balled up her fists. She was prepared to fight if Paula wanted to fight. She’d been in enough scraps before, and Paula was a sheltered girl without any street experience. Jennie had no doubt that she could take her.

  “Hit me again,” she dared Paula. Adrenaline rushed through her, and she almost hoped Paula would have some fighting experience she didn’t know about. She craved the pain. Someone had to make her feel on the outside what she felt on the inside. “Do it.”

  Paula glared harder and shook her head. “I’m not going to hit you. You aren’t worth it for me to lower myself like that again. Just stay away from Chloe.”

  She walked back into the restaurant, leaving Jennie to stare after her. She wished Paula had hit her. That would’ve made her feel somewhat better. She was worked up enough that she wanted to fight, to punch, to feel the satisfying crunch of Paula’s nose giving way to her fist.

  Still in her work uniform, Jennie walked toward her motorcycle. Her street clothes could wait for tomorrow. She just needed to get out of here. The image of Chloe’s unhappy face lingered in her mind as she climbed on the bike.

  Her adrenaline cooled by the time she kicked the bike into gear, and she hung her head. Chloe had every right to look at her like that. She should’ve thought harder before doing what she’d done tonight. She was a disappointment to Chloe… to herself… to everyone.

  Even Paula was only trying to do what was best for her friend. Jennie had never had so much of a problem with Paula before. She wouldn’t have guessed that Paula would feel so strongly about her. It felt pretty crappy to know she was violently opposed to the idea of Jennie being with Chloe.

  Paula was fucked up for what she’d said about her, but… what if she was right? What if Jennie was wrong for Chloe? What if she truly was a bad influence? She had tried to get Chloe high, and now she was trying to take her virginity. Wasn’t that the definition of a bad influence? Maybe Paula was right.

  As she pulled onto the road, she was conscious of the wind whipping through her hair and the lack of another body pressed against her. She had fucked up again, and it was her own fault. She’d been the one to shove Paula. Now she didn’t even know if her job was safe.

  If she kept seeing Chloe, she’d drag her down with her.

  She had to stop seeing Chloe.

  SEVENTEEN

  The house was empty. With both of Chloe’s parents at work, there was no one to keep her from wandering from room to room. She sat in one place, then went off to haunt another. She couldn’t focus on anything. Only one thing was on her mind.

  She let out a long exhale as she walked from the living room to the kitchen for the tenth time that day. This aimless roaming wasn’t going to get her anywhere.

  The woman Chloe was falling for had physically fought with one of her best friends. And all she could guess was that it had something to do with her. Jennie’s words from last night echoed through her mind: I already fucked her.

  If Chloe wanted to figure out what had happened last night, she was going to have to go to the source. Up in her room again, she picked up the phone with shaky hands. Phone calls were hard enough in the first place, and then to add the drama from last night on top of that… She was pleased with herself when she managed to press the call button.

  “Hey.” Jennie’s voice was flat.

  Trembling slightly, Chloe sat down and tried to make herself comfortable. Bjorn was sleeping on the foot of the bed, and Chloe petted him absent-mindedly as she spoke. “Hey. What are you doing?”

  Even after everything, she hoped Jennie would sound normal again. That Jennie would ask her to hang out as if nothing had ever happened. They could grab food, go to the gym, or sit around the house… whatever Jennie felt like. Chloe just wanted to be around her.

  “Nothing,” Jennie said.

  That was all she said. No invitations to do anything together. Not even a follow-up question. Chloe looked down, wondering what she could say to make this better. Pushing Jennie wouldn’t go well. The most important thing was to figure out what had happened.

  “Just sitting there?”

  “That’s right.”

  Jennie sounded reluctant to even talk to her. These one or two word answers were killing Chloe. Why couldn’t Jennie invite her over, like she would have a day ago? Had things really changed that much?

  Gathering her confidence, Chloe tried to sound natural. “Well, I’m doing nothing, too.”

  The Jennie she knew would have asked her to do something together. This Jennie only said, “I see.”

  “I… I guess I’ll see you at work in a couple days, then. I just wanted to call and see what was up.” Chloe should have asked about the fight, but she was reaching her limit. She had already pushed herself way beyond what she thought she could do.

  “See you.” Before Chloe could respond, Jennie had hung up.

  Chloe put the phone down in confusion. The conversation had been brief enough that she could remember every word. Everything they had said replayed in her mind. She lay back on the bed to try to make sense of it, pulling the cat onto her lap. Bjorn only stayed for a second before meowing and going back to his sleeping spot. So much for that.

  Jennie had been so cold to her. She’d barely said anything at all. Chloe should have asked more questions. She couldn’t expect Jennie to offer up the information she wanted. But she hadn’t, so now how was she going to find out what had happened last night?

  She cared about this more than she probably should have. Whether or not it was right, she was invested in their burgeoning relationship. If only she could figure things out some other way.

  Of course. There’d been two people involved in the altercation. If Chloe couldn’t get Jennie to talk, she needed to go to Paula instead. She tossed her arm over her forehead. It would’ve been easy to dial Paula right now. She could have had her on the phone in seconds. But in this situation, Chloe wanted to see Paula’s reaction on her face. Time to go out of her comfort zone once again.

  It had been ages since Chloe and Paula had hung out. They saw each other at work so often. As Chloe walked out of the house, she almost directed her steps toward Paula’s family home out of habit. But Paula had been at an apartment downtown for over a year now.

  Two blocks to the east, one to the north. Then she was there, pressing Paula’s buzzer code and praying that her friend would be there to answer it.

  When Chloe got up to Paula’s place, Paula gave her a questioning look. Chloe gave her a weak smile in return. “Sorry to drop by unannounced. I wanted…”

  “Let’s go sit down.”

  Chloe followed her into the living area, and they sat down together. The couch was soft and comfortable, but Chloe fidgeted anyway.

  “I’m glad you came,” Paula said. “I wanted to speak to you.”

  It had been almost a day since Paula had fought with Jennie. She could have called or come to see Chloe earlier i
f she’d wanted to.

  Still, Chloe stayed polite. “What did you want to speak about?”

  “Jennie.”

  “Good,” Chloe said, gathering her courage. “I wanted to talk about her, too.” She hesitated, unsure of how to phrase this without attacking one of her best friends. “I feel like you’re trying to tear me and Jennie apart.”

  Paula nodded, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. “I kind of am.”

  “I…” Chloe’s heart was beating hard. Normally Paula was one of the few people she could talk to comfortably, but this was the hardest conversation she could remember them having. “I want you to stop.”

  “Jennie isn’t a good person,” Paula said. “You should be able to see that.”

  “No… you should be able to trust my judgment. I’m an adult. I can date who I want.” This was getting harder, not easier. Every word was softer than the last. Chloe feared that she would offend Paula and make her mad.

  “You don’t understand. There’s more than you know. Jennie’s a drug dealer.”

  “Everybody knows that.” If that was all, there was no issue.

  “Bad enough that you’re willing to accept that much,” Paula said with a sigh. “But Jennie went too far last night. She wasn’t just selling to the other waitresses. She sold cocaine to the customers.”

  Chloe looked at her with shock. She’d had her suspicions, but she had fought them. Hearing it confirmed by Paula was painful. It didn’t seem like Jennie. After all, she’d been working there for many months and she’d never done something like that before. Why would Jennie start now? She knew where the line was drawn.

  “Yeah, she didn’t tell you that, did she?” Paula said. “I’m sure she only shows you the best side of her. More like the fake side. People like that are manipulative. They can convince you of anything. For some reason, she set her sights on you.”

  Now Chloe bristled at the suggestion. For some reason? Why wouldn’t Jennie be into her? She was a grown woman, and an attractive one by all accounts. Jennie didn’t have to want anything out of her other than a girlfriend.