“Lincoln!” Lexia snapped, some of the fire coming back into her eyes. She reached out and took Caleb’s hand.
“I’m Lexia, or Lex, and you are?” She forced her voice to be strong, her limbs to stay upright. It was bad enough being weak in front of Lincoln and Caden, she wouldn’t be weak in front of a stranger.
“Lexia, I’m Caleb; Lincoln wouldn’t tell me your name.”
Her head slowly turned to Lincoln, his gold panther eyes glowing in his face. “Really? Well, he has no manners. I figure if we are staying in your house then you should at least know my name. Thank you for helping us, Caleb.”
“Oh erm this isn’t-”
“Enough! Lexia into bed, Caleb take to the trees just in case that isn’t Caden,” Lincoln said before he had to explain whose house this was.
Lexia was too tired to snap at him, to tell him to not talk to her like she was weak. Caleb started to walk her to the bed and then she felt Lincoln’s arm clasp hers, anger coiled and spread from her. “Lincoln! If you wish to talk to me like that, then you will not be helping me to the bed!”
The panther dropped from his eyes, his mouth opened to protest. “Linc, please I’m tired,” Lexia sighed.
Caleb walked her the rest of the way, his wise eyes full of concern. “Please don’t look at me like that. I’m normally strong, I don’t want your pity. So this isn’t your house?” she whispered, her eyes closing as her head hit the bed.
“No,” he replied.
“Well, thank you anyway.”
“You’re welcome,” he whispered turning to leave.
They both left the house, tense and ready for battle; Caleb shifted and took to the trees, his leopard feeling alive for the first time in years.
Lincoln let his panther to the surface, his claws ripping through his skin turning each one of his fingers into a deadly weapon, his teeth sharpened and his body went on high alert. As the headlights turned towards the house they cut out and Lincoln saw Caden in the darkness of the Jeep. He almost sank to his knees with relief from seeing his friend’s face.
Caden opened the door and stepped out; he was about to greet Lincoln when a leopard jumped down from above and forced him to take a step back. Caden glanced at Lincoln, confusion on his face.
“Back down,” Lincoln growled, walking towards Caden. “Please tell me you have everything she might possibly need? Oh and that’s Caleb, you remember him, right?”
“Yeah, your dad’s second? My father got everything I asked for. Where is she?” Caden asked.
“In the house, my parent’s room,” Lincoln said with a nod of his head.
“It’s lasted well,” Caden said, glancing at the leopard still looking hungrily at him. “I remember Caleb being a bit friendlier.”
“Caleb!” Lincoln growled again, “Back off.” The leopard disappeared into the trees.
“Help me with this stuff. How is she?” Caden asked Lincoln.
“Not good, she’s not good, Cade.”
Caden pressed his hand to Lincoln’s shoulder. “I’ll do everything I can, please don’t worry.”
Lexia tried to stay awake when she laid back onto the bed but the trip to the toilet and her little argument with Lincoln had zapped any energy she’d had and blackness crept around the edge of her subconsciousness, calling her into its nothingness. Sighing Lexia let it take her under, she couldn’t fight any more, didn’t want to. Her eyes had one last fleeting glance around the room and she wondered whose house she was in. Who had been dragged into the mess that followed her?
What felt like seconds later Lexia felt a prick against her hand. Her eyes wouldn’t open and all that left her mouth was a moan. A strange feeling seemed to trickle up her arm, like ice licking through her veins and with it numbness. It spread throughout her body and she sighed, her body relaxing. For the first time in days Lexia fell to sleep with no pain, no worry and in a soft warm bed. A small smile spread on her lips at the simple bliss of having a pain free body.
For the next few days Lexia drifted in and out of consciousness, her drugged brain slow and foggy, and her eyes felt so heavy she never bothered to open them but she’d feel Lincoln next to her, his heat seeping into her as he lay snug against her. She wasn’t aware of the time passing but she knew she wasn’t getting better. She didn’t feel any pain, she knew Caden had made sure of that but the tiredness she felt, the effort it took to cling to life was becoming hard. Sometimes she’d just want to let go, give up and be at peace but then she’d feel Lincoln in her chest, the bond between them weak but still there. She could feel his pain, his worry and that made her fight, made her hang on just a little longer. She wasn’t sure she could handle causing him such pain, leaving him alone. Caden had told her shifters soon died when they lost their mates, but Lexia thought Lincoln would hold on. His anger, his thirst for revenge would be enough to keep his heart beating but she didn’t want that for him. He deserved to be happy, she deserved to be happy. The only problem was she had no idea how to get to that point.
The sound of pacing, floor boards creaking, brought her to. Her eyes opened a crack, watering against the bright light that flooded in through the windows. Lincoln wasn’t in the room but Caden was, his feet carrying him from one end of the room to the other. His face was drawn and tired, his normally bright green eyes dull and empty. His hand came up, ran through his hair that needed cutting. He paused and glanced at her and Lexia forced her eyes open some more.
“You need a haircut,” Lexia smiled, her voice horse and cracking.
Caden ran his hand across his head again and walked towards her. He smiled but it never reached his eyes, didn’t brighten his face. He brought a straw to her lips and she drank down the water.
“Where’s Linc?” she whispered, her throat feeling a little better.
“He went to run the perimeter, needed to let out his panther. It’s the first time he’s left you in days.” His eyes locked with hers and within them Lexia saw what he’d never tell her.
“I’m dying, aren’t I?”
“NO! Lexi no, I won’t let you.”
Lexia sighed reaching for his hand and squeezed. “You don’t have to save everyone. I’m not getting better, I’m not healing.”
Caden looked away, his eyes focusing on something outside. “No, you’re not getting better but you haven’t got worse, either, I don’t understand.” He was quiet for a while, his thumb slowly rubbing her skin. “You want to know what I think, Lexi?” His eyes locked back with hers. “I think you’re not getting better because you don’t want to.”
Lexia sucked in a breath. Was he right? Had she given up fighting to live? She knew he was right and it hurt, a tear slipped from her eye and Caden wiped it away.
“Why do you not want to live?”
“Do you not think it would just be easier if I’d never walked into your lives, that you both would be happier without me? No more death looming over you, no more running?”
“Is that how you see it? Lincoln has always run, Lex, he has never been happy. From the moment he left his grandfather, he’s wandered searching for his revenge, for something that would heal the hurt in his heart, fill the hole that his parents used to fill. And then he found you. You make him happy, Lexia, you give him something to live for, something good to live for. For the first time since his parents died Lincoln is whole. It’s not easy and it’s not perfect but he sure as hell is better than he was before.”
Lexia turned her head away, her muscles pulling tight from lack of use.
“And me, yes I’ve lost my home and my job but I’d do it all again, Lexi. I’d give it all up to see Linc happy, to see you live. Why can you not see what others see? Why do you view your gift as darkness?”
“Because that’s what I was made for... ‘I named you Maura for the darkness you will bring this world.’ That’s what Lucy told me and she is right, everyone I love has been touched with darkness.”
“No! How can you say that! You helped me accept a part of me that I’ve
always been at war with. No one has been able to and then you walk into my life and awaken the leopard in me, helped me come back. Enough with this Lexia, do you hear me? I will not let you die because of something that was said to you. You create your destiny, only you.”
“Will you find Linc for me?” Lexia whispered, needing Caden to leave her alone.
“Yes, of course. It’s up to you now, Lexi, only you can fight this. Show your mother who you are, show her what she created, show her the goodness, the willpower that she will never have.”
When Lincoln crawled onto the bed, his body wrapping around her managing to avoid every wound and bruise she had, she was just too tired to open her eyes. Lexia wasn’t ready to talk to him, to see the pain in his eyes, pain she was causing, Caden’s words bounced around her head, taunting her. He was right she knew it and she hated that he was right, hated herself for being so weak, for just giving up when they needed her to survive, to at least try.
“Hey baby, Lex, are you awake?” Lincoln whispered, his breath ticking her skin. “Cade said you wanted me.” His lips brushed hers, so soft, so sweet, it almost broke her heart.
She felt his head lay next to hers, his steady breaths against her skin. “Baby, you can’t leave me.”
It took all Lexia’s will not to gasp, to not open her eyes and give him comfort, but she couldn’t promise him something she wasn’t sure she could give. His body started to shudder against her and then she felt the wetness from his tears.
Oh god baby no, please no.
“I don’t think I’ll survive losing you. I met you and you healed the scars my parents left behind but Lex you stole my heart. If you die, it will die along with you. I held onto revenge after my parents died, held onto it until it darkened my soul, but with you... God, Lex... Please just come back... I miss your eyes, I miss seeing the fire, the strength in them... I don’t want to live in a world you’re not in.”
Lexia laid there, her heart breaking. The pain in her body was nothing compared to the heartache she felt for causing such pain to the man she loved. His tears soaked her skin, his body shook uncontrollably. She reached out and took his hand and he held onto it like she may just disappear right before him.
As she laid there listening to the man she loved, a man with a will so strong and unbreakable, crying, Lexia made a decision. She wouldn’t lay here and give up, she wouldn’t die, she would never let Lincoln live in a world that she wasn’t in. She was going to live, she’d fight, fight until there was no other choice left.
“Shush, I won’t die, I promise, Linc. You’ll never have to be in a world without me.”
She opened her eyes and moved her head to the side. When he looked up at her, his eyes filled with unshed tears, he looked so vulnerable, so broken, and she knew he would only ever let her see him this way.
“I promise. I won’t die,” she whispered as she kissed each one of his salty tears from his cheeks.
Chapter 24
Caden lounged in a tree, his leopard tail twitching backwards and forwards in irritation and anger. He’d never fully appreciated before how nice it was to escape the intensity of human feelings by shifting cat. They were still there, of course, but in a different way. The pain and heartache he felt watching Lexia slip away didn’t break him now like it had been doing only moments before. He couldn’t face Lincoln like he was. He needed to get control of himself and come back and fight some more, pump more drugs into her, clean wounds, and change dressings.
Lexia might have given up, but he wouldn’t, he’d fight until the end. The problem was, he knew, all his efforts, all his work meant nothing if she didn’t want to live. He’d been a doctor for a long time now, seen miracles, seen people come back from things that had seemed impossible to survive but every one of those people had fought to live, had clung onto any shred of hope. He knew she could beat this if she wanted to. He’d seen the full power of her will, seen her come back from near death, so why had she given up? Why wasn’t she fighting? He knew the answer; he just didn’t know what to do with it. Lexia saw herself as a product of evil, she saw herself as the monster her mother wanted, but what she didn’t see was that the gifts she had were only as strong as they were from her sheer will to protect those she loved. He’d studied her DNA and couldn’t seem to work out what made her so vastly different from the other Hunters. Yes, she was different, but Caden thought it was her heart, her will, her soul, that made Lexia so strong, so unbeatable.
He jumped down from the tree, took off silently, running the perimeter around what once had been his home. He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what to say to her so that she would see what everyone else saw. He only knew she couldn’t die because if she did he’d not only lose her, he’d lose his best friend. Lincoln had survived a lot but losing Lexia was one thing he knew Lincoln would never come back from.
When his leopard body was worn from running, his emotions numbed by sheer exhaustion, Caden shifted and pulled on the clothes he’d stashed. He walked into Lincoln’s family home and took a seat next to Caleb. They both sat in silence, grim looks on their faces, but when Lincoln walked in and took a seat opposite them, he murmured, “She’s asleep.” As Caden looked at his friend he saw something within the depths of his golden brown eyes, something he’d not seen in a while and it both frightened him and elated him in the same breath. He saw hope.
Hope.
The smallest of flickers but it was there and he had no idea what had caused it to shine in his eyes but he hoped to God it was Lexia finally coming back into this fight.
Lincoln grumbled about food, slumping back into the chair.
Caden laughed the first laugh he’d laughed in weeks. “I’ll fix you something, mate,” he said, clapping him on the shoulder.
In the early hours of the morning a day later Caden walked into Lexia’s bedroom, his footsteps silent so not to wake her and Lincoln. As he looked over her and checked her vitals he found the cause of that shred of hope Lincoln was hanging onto. He saw the true power of Lexia’s will; she’d started to heal, only slightly, but at last she was healing. At last he dared to dream they’d all make it through this alive.
Chapter 25
Lexia opened her eyes and for the first time in what felt like forever, they didn’t water and sting from the light. She laid there for a moment, just staring at the ceiling, slowly moving her fingers, her hands, her legs, assessing how she felt; her body ached but not from pain, from lack of use.
She smiled, her cheeks feeling stiff. Taking a deep breath Lexia sat up. Her body creaked and cracked, muscles groaning in protest. She leaned back against the headboard and looked around the room. The furniture was old and decorative, dark wood with carved flower details. The blanket wrapped around her looked like it had been handmade, the wooden floorboards had thick cream rugs covering them. The room looked old-fashioned, like nothing had been changed in years and yet everything looked well kept.
Lexia looked at her hand, she had an IV and was hooked up to whatever Caden had been giving her and as she moved around a bit more her bladder full she realized she had a catheter in, too. Lexia closed her eyes and tried not to freak out about the places Caden had been. He was a doctor, he’d helped her get better but still she mentally cringed and wanted to hide under the covers forever.
She reached over for the water jug on the bedside table. Her throat felt so dry and her tongue thick and fluffy, every breath into her lungs scratched and burned. But as her hand clasped the jug and started to lift it, her muscles just gave way. She was still weak and the jug and water clattered to the floor.
“Shit!” she breathed as water soaked into the rug and pounding feet started up the stairs.
Lincoln ran into the room first followed by Caden and then an older man, his dark hair sprinkled with grey. They all froze staring at her like she was some illusion. Lexia frowned when they still stood frozen, jaws slightly ajar.
“What’s a girl got to do to get a drink around here?” she croaked.
Lexia couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up her throat. What was wrong with them?
“Easy now, boys!” she laughed, which caused her to start coughing.
“I’ll go get water,” the older man said, holding the jug in the air like it was a prize.
“How are you?” Lincoln breathed, clasping her hand as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“Better,” Lexia whispered.
Caden came to her other side and took her wrist. He listened to her heart rate and then took her blood pressure, Lexia let him poke and prod, her eyes never leaving Lincoln’s. “How are you, Linc?” she asked.
Rubbing his hand through his hair, the long strands falling back and into his eyes, he let out a deep breath. “I’ve been better, to be honest.”
“I’m sorry for making you worry,” she answered, glancing at Caden as well. “You both need haircuts,” Lexia smiled, pleased when they both laughed at her.
“Erm, er, your water.”
Lexia looked up at the older man as her entered the room. “Thanks, I don’t think we’ve met properly, I’m Lexia, thank you for letting us stay in your house.”
“Oh erm, well, we have met but you were half passed out. I’m Caleb but this isn’t my house.”
Lexia gulped down the water looking at the three men as they had a silent argument with only scowls.
“Hmm, I can see you’re keeping something from me, Linc. Never mind, I always find out the truth in the end, I’ll be able to beat it out of you sooner or later,” she laughed. “Right, out. I want a word with my Doc here.”
Caleb walked and left but Lincoln still sat clasping her hand, “You too.”
Whispers of Darkness (The Deadwood Hunter Series) Page 13
