“And then Jims took ill.
“He had a little cold when father and mother went away, and he kept getting worse for a couple of days, but it didn’t occur to me that there was danger of anything serious. I never even took his temperature, and I can’t forgive myself, because it was sheer carelessness. The truth is I had slumped just then. Mother was away, so I let myself go. All at once I was tired of keeping up and pretending to be brave and cheerful, and I just gave up for a few days and spent most of the time lying on my face on my bed, crying. I neglected Jims—that is the hateful truth—I was cowardly and false to what I promised Walter—and if Jims had died I could never have forgiven myself.
“Then, the third night after father and mother went away, Jims suddenly got worse—oh, so much worse—all at once. Susan and I were all alone. Gertrude had been at Lowbridge when the storm began and had never got back. At first we were not much alarmed. Jims has had several bouts of croup and Susan and Morgan and I have always brought him through without much trouble. But it wasn’t very long before we were dreadfully alarmed.
“‘I never saw croup like this before,’ said Susan.
“As for me, I knew, when it was too late, what kind of croup it was. I knew it was not the ordinary croup—’false croup’ as doctors call it—but the ‘true croup’—and I knew that it was a deadly and dangerous thing. And father was away and there was no doctor nearer than Lowbridge—and we could not ‘phone and neither horse nor man could get through the drifts that night.
“Gallant little Jims put up a good fight for his life,—Susan and I tried every remedy we could think of or find in father’s books, but he continued to grow worse. It was heart-rending to see and hear him. He gasped so horribly for breath—the poor little soul—and his face turned a dreadful bluish colour and had such an agonized expression, and he kept struggling with his little hands, as if he were appealing to us to help him somehow. I found myself thinking that the boys who had been gassed at the front must have looked like that, and the thought haunted me amid all my dread and misery over Jims. And all the time the fatal membrane in his wee throat grew and thickened and he couldn’t get it up.
“Oh, I was just wild! I never realized how dear Jims was to me until that moment. And I felt so utterly helpless.”
“And then Susan gave up. ‘We cannot save him! Oh, if your father was here—look at him, the poor little fellow! I know not what to do.’
“I looked at Jims and I thought he was dying. Susan was holding him up in his crib to give him a better chance for breath, but it didn’t seem as if he could breathe at all. My little war-baby, with his dear ways and sweet roguish face, was choking to death before my very eyes, and I couldn’t help him. I threw down the hot poultice I had ready in despair. Of what use was it? Jims was dying, and it was my fault—I hadn’t been careful enough!
“Just then—at eleven o’clock at night—the door bell rang. Such a ring—it pealed all over the house above the roar of the storm. Susan couldn’t go—she dared not lay Jims down—so I rushed downstairs. In the hall I paused just a minute—I was suddenly overcome by an absurd dread. I thought of a weird story Gertrude had told me once. An aunt of hers was alone in a house one night with her sick husband. She heard a knock at the door. And when she went and opened it there was nothing there—nothing that could be seen, at least. But when she opened the door a deadly cold wind blew in and seemed to sweep past her right up the stairs, although it was a calm, warm summer night outside. Immediately she heard a cry. She ran upstairs—and her husband was dead. And she always believed, so Gertrude said, that when she opened that door she let Death in.
“It was so ridiculous of me to feel so frightened. But I was distracted and worn out, and I simply felt for a moment that I dared not open the door—that death was waiting outside. Then I remembered that I had no time to waste—must not be so foolish—I sprang forward and opened the door.
“Certainly a cold wind did blow in and filled the hall with a whirl of snow. But there on the threshold stood a form of flesh and blood—Mary Vance, coated from head to foot with snow—and she brought Life, not Death, with her, though I didn’t know that then. I just stared at her.
“‘I haven’t been turned out,’ grinned Mary, as she stepped in and shut the door. ‘I came up to Carter Flagg’s two days ago and I’ve been stormed-stayed there ever since. But old Abbie Flagg got on my nerves at last, and tonight I just made up my mind to come up here. I thought I could wade this far, but I can tell you it was as much as a bargain. Once I thought I was stuck for keeps. Ain’t it an awful night?’
“I came to myself and knew I must hurry upstairs. I explained as quickly as I could to Mary, and left her trying to brush the snow off. Upstairs I found that Jims was over that paroxysm, but almost as soon as I got back to the room he was in the grip of another. I couldn’t do anything but moan and cry—oh, how ashamed I am when I think of it; and yet what could I do—we had tried everything we knew—and then all at once I heard Mary Vance saying loudly behind me, ‘Why, that child is dying!’
“I whirled around. Didn’t I know he was dying—my little Jims! I could have thrown Mary Vance out of the door or the window—anywhere—at that moment. There she stood, cool and composed, looking down at my baby, with those, weird white eyes of hers, as she might look at a choking kitten. I had always disliked Mary Vance—and just then I hated her.
“‘We have tried everything,’ said poor Susan dully. ‘It is not ordinary croup.’
“‘No, it’s the dipthery croup,’ said Mary briskly, snatching up an apron. ‘And there’s mighty little time to lose—but I know what to do. When I lived over-harbour with Mrs. Wiley, years ago, Will Crawford’s kid died of dipthery croup, in spite of two doctors. And when old Aunt Christina MacAllister heard of it—she was the one brought me round when I nearly died of pneumonia you know—she was a wonder—no doctor was a patch on her—they don’t hatch her breed of cats nowadays, let me tell you—she said she could have saved him with her grandmother’s remedy if she’d been there. She told Mrs. Wiley what it was and I’ve never forgot it. I’ve the greatest memory ever—a thing just lies in the back of my head till the time comes to use it. Got any sulphur in the house, Susan?’
“Yes, we had sulphur. Susan went down with Mary to get it, and I held Jims. I hadn’t any hope—not the least. Mary Vance might brag as she liked—she was always bragging—but I didn’t believe any grandmother’s remedy could save Jims now. Presently Mary came back. She had tied a piece of thick flannel over her mouth and nose, and she carried Susan’s old tin chip pan, half full of burning coals.
“‘You watch me,’ she said boastfully. ‘I’ve never done this, but it’s kill or cure that child is dying anyway.’
“She sprinkled a spoonful of sulphur over the coals; and then she picked up Jims, turned him over, and held him face downward, right over those choking, blinding fumes. I don’t know why I didn’t spring forward and snatch him away. Susan says it was because it was fore-ordained that I shouldn’t, and I think she is right, because it did really seem that I was powerless to move. Susan herself seemed transfixed, watching Mary from the doorway. Jims writhed in those big, firm, capable hands of Mary—oh yes, she is capable all right—and choked and wheezed—and choked and wheezed—and I felt that he was being tortured to death—and then all at once, after what seemed to me an hour, though it really wasn’t long, he coughed up the membrane that was killing him. Mary turned him over and laid him back on his bed. He was white as marble and the tears were pouring out of his brown eyes—but that awful livid look was gone from his face and he could breathe quite easily.
“‘Wasn’t that some trick?’ said Mary gaily. ‘I hadn’t any idea how it would work, but I just took a chance. I’ll smoke his throat out again once or twice before morning, just to kill all the germs, but you’ll see he’ll be all right now.’
“Jims went right to sleep—real sleep, not coma, a
s I feared at first. Mary ‘smoked him,’ as she called it, twice through the night, and at daylight his throat was perfectly clear and his temperature was almost normal. When I made sure of that I turned and looked at Mary Vance. She was sitting on the lounge laying down the law to Susan on some subject about which Susan must have known forty times as much as she did. But I didn’t mind how much law she laid down or how much she bragged. She had a right to brag—she had dared to do what I would never have dared, and had saved Jims from a horrible death. It didn’t matter any more that she had once chased me through the Glen with a codfish; it didn’t matter that she had smeared goose-grease all over my dream of romance the night of the lighthouse dance; it didn’t matter that she thought she knew more than anybody else and always rubbed it in—I would never dislike Mary Vance again. I went over to her and kissed her.
“‘What’s up now?’ she said.
“‘Nothing—only I’m so grateful to you, Mary.’
“‘Well, I think you ought to be, that’s a fact. You two would have let that baby die on your hands if I hadn’t happened along,’ said Mary, just beaming with complacency. She got Susan and me a tip-top breakfast and made us eat it, and ‘bossed the life out of us,’ as Susan says, for two days, until the roads were opened so that she could get home. Jims was almost well by that time, and father turned up. He heard our tale without saying much. Father is rather scornful generally about what he calls ‘old wives’ remedies.’ He laughed a little and said, ‘After this, Mary Vance will expect me to call her in for consultation in all my serious cases.’
“So Christmas was not so hard as I expected it to be; and now the New Year is coming—and we are still hoping for the ‘Big Push’ that will end the war—and Little Dog Monday is getting stiff and rheumatic from his cold vigils, but still he ‘carries on,’ and Shirley continues to read the exploits of the aces. Oh, nineteen-seventeen, what will you bring?”
CHAPTER XXV.SHIRLEY GOES
“No, Woodrow, there will be no peace without victory,” said Susan, sticking her knitting needle viciously through President Wilson’s name in the newspaper column. “We Canadians mean to have peace and victory, too. You, if it pleases you, Woodrow, can have the peace without the victory"—and Susan stalked off to bed with the comfortable consciousness of having got the better of the argument with the President. But a few days later she rushed to Mrs. Blythe in red-hot excitement.
“Mrs. Dr. dear, what do you think? A ‘phone message has just come through from Charlottetown that Woodrow Wilson has sent that German ambassador man to the right about at last. They tell me that means war. So I begin to think that Woodrow’s heart is in the right place after all, wherever his head may be, and I am going to commandeer a little sugar and celebrate the occasion with some fudge, despite the howls of the Food Board. I thought that submarine business would bring things to a crisis. I told Cousin Sophia so when she said it was the beginning of the end for the Allies.”
“Don’t let the doctor hear of the fudge, Susan,” said Anne, with a smile. “You know he has laid down very strict rules for us along the lines of economy the government has asked for.”
“Yes, Mrs. Dr. dear, and a man should be master in his own household, and his women folk should bow to his decrees. I flatter myself that I am becoming quite efficient in economizing"—Susan had taken to using certain German terms with killing effect—"but one can exercise a little gumption on the quiet now and then. Shirley was wishing for some of my fudge the other day—the Susan brand, as he called it—and I said ‘The first victory there is to celebrate I shall make you some.’ I consider this news quite equal to a victory, and what the doctor does not know will never grieve him. I take the whole responsibility, Mrs. Dr. dear, so do not you vex your conscience.”
Susan spoiled Shirley shamelessly that winter. He came home from Queen’s every week-end, and Susan had all his favourite dishes for him, in so far as she could evade or wheedle the doctor, and waited on him hand and foot. Though she talked war constantly to everyone else she never mentioned it to him or before him, but she watched him like a cat watching a mouse; and when the German retreat from the Bapaume salient began and continued, Susan’s exultation was linked up with something deeper than anything she expressed. Surely the end was in sight—would come now before—anyone else—could go.
“Things are coming our way at last. We have got the Germans on the run,” she boasted. “The United States has declared war at last, as I always believed they would, in spite of Woodrow’s gift for letter writing, and you will see they will go into it with a vim since I understand that is their habit, when they do start. And we have got the Germans on the run, too.”
“The States mean well,” moaned Cousin Sophia, “but all the vim in the world cannot put them on the fighting line this spring, and the Allies will be finished before that. The Germans are just luring them on. That man Simonds says their retreat has put the Allies in a hole.”
“That man Simonds has said more than he will ever live to make good,” retorted Susan. “I do not worry myself about his opinion as long as Lloyd George is Premier of England. He will not be bamboozled and that you may tie to. Things look good to me. The U. S. is in the war, and we have got Kut and Bagdad back—and I would not be surprised to see the Allies in Berlin by June—and the Russians, too, since they have got rid of the Czar. That, in my opinion was a good piece of work.”
“Time will show if it is,” said Cousin Sophia, who would have been very indignant if anyone had told her that she would rather see Susan put to shame as a seer, than a successful overthrow of tyranny, or even the march of the Allies down Unter den Linden. But then the woes of the Russian people were quite unknown to Cousin Sophia, while this aggravating, optimistic Susan was an ever-present thorn in her side.
Just at that moment Shirley was sitting on the edge of the table in the living-room, swinging his legs—a brown, ruddy, wholesome lad, from top to toe, every inch of him—and saying coolly, “Mother and dad, I was eighteen last Monday. Don’t you think it’s about time I joined up?”
The pale mother looked at him.
“Two of my sons have gone and one will never return. Must I give you too, Shirley?”
The age-old cry—"Joseph is not and Simeon is not; and ye will take Benjamin away.” How the mothers of the Great War echoed the old Patriarch’s moan of so many centuries agone!
“You wouldn’t have me a slacker, mother? I can get into the flying-corps. What say, dad?”
The doctor’s hands were not quite steady as he folded up the powders he was concocting for Abbie Flagg’s rheumatism. He had known this moment was coming, yet he was not altogether prepared for it. He answered slowly, “I won’t try to hold you back from what you believe to be your duty. But you must not go unless your mother says you may.”
Shirley said nothing more. He was not a lad of many words. Anne did not say anything more just then, either. She was thinking of little Joyce’s grave in the old burying-ground over-harbour—little Joyce who would have been a woman now, had she lived—of the white cross in France and the splendid grey eyes of the little boy who had been taught his first lessons of duty and loyalty at her knee—of Jem in the terrible trenches—of Nan and Di and Rilla, waiting—waiting—waiting, while the golden years of youth passed by—and she wondered if she could bear any more. She thought not; surely she had given enough.
Yet that night she told Shirley that he might go.
They did not tell Susan right away. She did not know it until, a few days later, Shirley presented himself in her kitchen in his aviation uniform. Susan didn’t make half the fuss she had made when Jem and Walter had gone. She said stonily, “So they’re going to take you, too.”
“Take me? No. I’m going, Susan—got to.”
Susan sat down by the table, folded her knotted old hands, that had grown warped and twisted working for the Ingleside children to still their shaking, and said:<
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“Yes, you must go. I did not see once why such things must be, but I can see now.”
“You’re a brick, Susan,” said Shirley. He was relieved that she took it so coolly—he had been a little afraid, with a boy’s horror of “a scene.” He went out whistling gaily; but half an hour later, when pale Anne Blythe came in, Susan was still sitting there.
“Mrs. Dr. dear,” said Susan, making an admission she would once have died rather than make, “I feel very old. Jem and Walter were yours but Shirley is mine. And I cannot bear to think of him flying—his machine crashing down—the life crushed out of his body—the dear little body I nursed and cuddled when he was a wee baby.”
“Susan—don’t,” cried Anne.
“Oh, Mrs. Dr. dear, I beg your pardon. I ought not to have said anything like that out loud. I sometimes forget that I resolved to be a heroine. This—this has shaken me a little. But I will not forget myself again. Only if things do not go as smoothly in the kitchen for a few days I hope you will make due allowance for me. At least,” said poor Susan, forcing a grim smile in a desperate effort to recover lost standing, “at least flying is a clean job. He will not get so dirty and messed up as he would in the trenches, and that is well, for he has always been a tidy child.”
So Shirley went—not radiantly, as to a high adventure, like Jem, not in a white flame of sacrifice, like Walter, but in a cool, business-like mood, as of one doing something, rather dirty and disagreeable, that had just got to be done. He kissed Susan for the first time since he was five years old, and said, “Good-bye, Susan—mother Susan.”
“My little brown boy—my little brown boy,” said Susan. “I wonder,” she thought bitterly, as she looked at the doctor’s sorrowful face, “if you remember how you spanked him once when he was a baby. I am thankful I have nothing like that on my conscience now.”
The Classic Children's Literature Collection: 39 Classic Novels Page 463
