by Hart, Eve R.
So, yes, one of us needed to get our own place and soon.
I think we were still dancing around the subject, neither one of us bringing up the option to live together. I wasn’t really sure how to start that conversation without sounding crazy. Besides, what if I was wrong and he wasn’t really ready for that step?
So I kept looking for something that might work for each and every situation, mainly sticking to seeking out two and three bedroom places.
I knew I would have to make a choice soon. I’d either have to let this dream stay a dream a little longer or gather the courage to lay it all out there to Mouse. I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do yet.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Mouse
It took me a few more days after I got back to the compound for me to get up the courage to call my parents and tell them that they were unexpectedly grandparents. While I was old enough to know better, I was also old enough to handle this. I think they realized that and that was the only reason why my dad didn’t lecture me too much. My mom seemed happy. Though I could tell that she was a little sad that we were so far away. I sensed many trips coming up soon. But not just yet. I think they understood that I wasn’t ready to travel with Sparrow.
The days that followed came with a flood of calls from them, both separately and together. My mom mostly called to beg me to video chat so she could ooh and ahh over Sparrow. And then I had Dad calling me solo to make sure I had my head on straight.
I felt like I did. I was doing the best I could and with Ingram helping me out, I didn’t feel so overwhelmed.
The biggest focus right now— other than taking care of Sparrow— was finding a place for us to live.
I loved the compound but it was no place to live while raising a child. The nights were a little too rowdy.
There was this little voice nagging me in the back of my head. One that was telling me to ask Ingram to move in with me. Or, I guess ask if she’d want to look for a place for us to move in together, was more like it. She’d mentioned a few times before that she had plans to move out of the beach house one day soon. And she’d been great at helping me try to find a place that worked for me right now. But I kept turning down the places she showed me in hopes of delaying it.
I was scared that if I did ask her that I would not only seem crazy because I was moving so fast, but worried that I might push her. I knew she wanted to be with me but I had no clue how to do all of this.
Things between us were intense when we were around each other. It was hard for me to keep my hands off of her when she was here. And when we were apart, I craved to hear her voice.
I was a sad, pathetic, lovesick fool. I knew it and I was okay with it as well.
“Hey, man,” I said as I pulled the door open to let Chris and Chry in.
“How are you doing?” he asked as Chry squealed my name and hugged my leg. I bend over and scooped him up into my arms.
“Still trying to figure all this out,” I said with a laugh.
“Row! Row!” Chry called out softly. He was so adorable. He knew that she slept a lot and so he tried to be quiet most of the time so he wouldn’t wake her. I had no idea how the kid got that but it was so fucking cute.
“She’s sleeping, buddy,” I told him and he pouted. But then he was mushing my cheeks together and all his disappointment was forgotten. “Come in.” I nodded to Chris then turned on my heels to cross the room.
I couldn’t believe that he hadn’t met Sparrow yet. Though, that was kind of my fault because I could admit that I’d been holed up in my room for the last two weeks. I wasn’t ready to bring her out just yet because I wanted her to be a little healthier. The pediatrician told me that it would be fine but with the trauma that she went through, it might be best to avoid over-stimulating situations for a little while longer. That and, well, things had kind of been crazy.
“She’s so adorable,” Chris said as he peered down at her. “You do good work, man.” We both let out a little laugh at that.
He asked if I was really doing okay. I told him that it was hard but each day was getting easier. We briefly talked about Amber but since there were little ears around, we didn’t go into great detail.
I still hadn’t processed the Amber thing. Yeah, I was sad that she was gone. Of course, I was. That said, I was still a little angry about the whole pregnancy thing. If it hadn’t gone down the way that it did, I might have never known I had a daughter.
It made me think of Mason. He didn’t know about his kid until he was like seven or something. What if that had been me? What if I didn’t know until she was old enough to find out she was adopted and decided that she wanted to search for me. Was Amber even going to give the agency my name?
All these things I tried really hard not to think about but they were there. Even the thoughts of how Sparrow might have been placed in a home that wasn’t healthy. There were a lot of shit people out there. Just look at Ingram and Ky’s parents and what they put their kids through— and that was their own blood.
Like I said, I tried not to think about it. It made my blood boil with rage.
“I want to talk to you about something,” he said turning all serious on me.
“Yeah, man. What’s up?”
“Ingram’s my family now. You know that.”
“Well, yeah,” I said a little confused as to where he was going with this.
Was he going to tell me to stay away from her? Tell me that he didn’t think we were a good idea?
I didn’t see Chris as the type but you never knew.
“I think everyone can see that she’s yours and I believe that you’ll get your head on straight and make it work. I know you’re good for her and that she cares for you very deeply.”
Okay, it sounded like he was backing Ingram and I being together. So where was this going?
“Look, I know this may seem like I’m overstepping but Ky and I want what’s best for her. We want her to be happy.” He paused like he was trying to figure out how to say what was in his head.
“Chris, just tell me what you need to.”
“We’re buying her a house,” he blurted out with a little shrug. “She doesn’t know it yet and I can already see the crap she’s going to give me when I tell her.”
“She’ll understand though. I think she gets that you guys want to protect her and not go crazy worrying if she’s safe or not,” I told him as a way to make him feel better. But yeah, I had a feeling Ingram would be a little frustrated at first. She was hellbent to stand on her own. I imagined that once she got over it she’d be happy though.
I could tell that wasn’t all he wanted to say and I was mentally scratching my head about what more there could have been.
“I shouldn’t say this, but she talked to me the night after you guys worked things out. I think she wants you guys to move in together. She thinks she’s crazy for even thinking something like that so soon, but she really wants a future with you. I’m sure she doesn’t see anyone but you. Do you get me?”
I was so shocked that I had to sit down. Ingram and I were on the same page but both of us were scared to say it.
“This place, it’s on the beach because I know she feels at home there. It has windows that face the beach and you can see the ocean from the second floor. A lot of light and an open floor plan. All the things I know she loves.”
I smiled at him and couldn’t believe what he was saying. I hadn’t seen the place, but it sounded just like what she’d want.
“I just need to know if you guys like it before I sign,” he told me with a smile of his own.
“I can’t let you do this, Chris. It’s too much. I need to be able to take care of us and Ingram needs to feel like she can do the same.”
I hated to turn him down. It was probably the stupidest thing I’d ever done. Well, one of them.
“We figured you’d say that,” he said with a chuckle. “We can work out a rent type of situation if that will make you feel better. Pay us for a few ye
ars and consider the rest a wedding gift. Or a claiming gift or whatever you guys decide to do.”
“You’re making this extremely hard, Chris,” I told him but I wasn’t angry.
“And besides, Ky and I aren’t going to have any kids. So this is kind of for us too. This way, our nephew and niece are a five-minute drive away,” he added to make me feel even more bad about it.
“Dude,” I said blowing out a breath.
I understood that they had this need to feel like they were taking care of her. And I also got that Chris had more money than he knew what to do with. But I just couldn’t let him do this.
My bank was slowly growing. I knew that one day I’d be set as long as the club kept going like it was and headed in a good direction. It took a lot to get this new chapter off the ground and we were still filling that hole. Money wasn’t as easy right now as I knew it would be one day. Hey, I’d been around the club my whole life, I knew how this shit worked. That said, I wasn’t there yet. Yeah, I had enough money to take care of Ingram and Chry. No question in that. But as much as I knew Ingram would love a house on or even near the beach, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that any time soon.
“Fine,” I said only half giving in. I was going to have my say so on it too. Oh, and of course I would talk to Ingram about it. No way in hell would I start this thing off by making a decision like that without her. “I’ll take her to look at the place and we’ll discuss it then. I’m sure as hell paying you rent though. And I will pay you back every cent. I know she needs this and while I can take care of them, I’m not at Sugar Daddy status like you are.” I shot him a smile so he’d know I was messing around a little.
He let out a hearty laugh as his head fell back.
“Hmm, Sugar Daddy. Wonder what Ky would think of that.” He chuckled and I let out a short laugh as I shook my head at him.
“I don’t even know what to say right now. Thank you seems so lame,” I told him, growing serious again.
“Just treat her well.”
“I plan on doing better than that,” I told him and I was beaming.
While I was torn inside, the fact that Ingram wanted to live with me and make the four of us a family was making my heart flutter. It was the only thing that really mattered right now.
“Alright, I have to get to work and I know she’ll be here soon. Take her by to see the house tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I can do that,” I said sounding a little nervous. If we both went then that meant that we’d have to take the kids. Which meant that I’d have to take Sparrow out.
“Look, Ky and I will be home during the afternoon. Why don’t you bring Sparrow by and pick up Ingram? We’ll watch her and Chry while you two go check out the place.”
I nodded. It didn’t sound like a bad idea. And I trusted Chris and Ky.
“You’re going to have to get used to us watching her,” he said jokingly. “We’re going to steal her away a lot.”
I let out a short laugh. I imagined so.
“Okay. I’m in. I’ll think of something clever to say to Ingram. I’ll just leave you out when I tell her about this place,” I said with a shrug. “I guess I should talk to her about moving in together tonight, huh? Make sure it’s what she really wants and all.”
“Good call. I’ll send you the link to the place. See you later, man.”
We fist bumped and then he was out the door.
Not long after that, Ingram breezed in with a few bags from work. The smell of fresh garlic and herbs hit my nose instantly.
“So they didn’t have the basil chicken today and I know how much you love it, but they were trying out something new, so I grabbed that. It’s beef tips with this creamy blue cheese and garlic sauce. It smelled so good and I’ve been thinking about it since they put it out.”
I smiled at her and pulled her into my arms the moment she was done talking. She was so adorable and amazing.
They had a hot bar at her work and she sometimes brought dinner when she got off and came over here. Everything I’d had from there had been amazing so far and I knew this wouldn’t let me down either.
“Let’s find a place together,” I said as I looked deep into her eyes. “I know it sounds crazy and probably not the smartest idea, but I want us to be together. I want Chry and Sparrow to have a stable, loving home. And I want that to be all of us together.”
Her gasp was matched with a shocked expression.
“Tell me you want this too. Tell me I’m not wrong here,” I practically begged.
“I want that. I want that so badly, Malcolm. I was scared you’d think I was crazy if I told you I wanted us to get a place together.”
“Maybe a little crazy,” I joked then placed a light kiss on her lips. “But I must be crazy too then.”
“So, you really want to? You want us all to be a family?” She sounded like she couldn’t really believe what I was saying.
“I do. If you’ll let me.”
“I love you, my Malcolm,” she said and my heart beat a little faster hearing her call me hers.
“I love you, too. So dam-darn much.”
I kissed her and Chry began clapping in the background. We pulled away from each other laughing as we looked over at the little dude.
Then we ate like everything was normal. It came with such ease and I knew that this was the life for me. Not that I had any doubts, but the more I was around them, the more my soul felt settled.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Ingram
“Why do you guys look so strange right now?” I asked as I breezed into the kitchen to grab a snack, Chry right on my heels.
“What?” Chris asked sounding surprised, but it seemed a little fake.
They were sitting on the couch trying a little hard to look casual. I couldn’t figure out if this was one of those moments where I walked in on them being all lovey-dovey or if they were trying to hide something from me. It was sometimes hard to tell with them.
“Nothing,” they both said almost in unison.
I eyed them while I blindly peeled a banana for Chry.
“I don’t believe you but I’ll let it go.”
I got Chry set up with his snack then snagged a banana for myself.
“So, I have to talk to you both about something,” I said. I took in a deep breath because I knew this was going to be hard.
“We’re all ears, Ingram,” Chris said as I took a seat on the other couch so I could face them.
“I’m going to get a place with Mouse. I know you might think we’re crazy and I’m sure one of you is ready to jump up off the couch and go insane with rage.” My eyes pinned my brother with a knowing stare. “But this is what we both want. We want to make a family with the four of us.”
Chris pinched his lips between his teeth and I could tell he was trying his hardest to hold back a laugh. Ky, well, he didn’t look as shocked or enraged as I thought he would be. I guessed that maybe Chris had given him the heads up about what I’d been thinking about. I should have known he’d talk to my brother about it. Which I couldn’t really be mad at. Maybe it was a good thing because this way Ky was sort of prepared.
“You’re an adult now, I trust you to make the right choices for yourself and Chry,” Ky ground out and I would have believed he meant that wholeheartedly if his fists weren’t clenched by his sides.
“I have thought this through. I really have, Ky. There is something with Mouse that I can’t shake. And I don’t think I could if I tried. He is a good man. Just like you. Just like Chris. Just like the rest of your brothers.”
His chest rose and fell with a soft sigh. I had him and he knew it.
“I just wanted to warn you,” I went on, “because he will be here shortly. He called me and said he found the perfect place and he wants to show me today.”
Just then the doorbell rang. How was that for timing?
Chris cocked a brow at me as a smirk tipped up his lips.
I danced to the door with excitement and stole a kiss from
Mouse before he came in carrying Sparrow in her car seat.
“Hey, guys,” Mouse greeted Ky and Chris and I hated how things suddenly felt a little strained.
I really hoped we could move on from all of this at some point.
“Hand her over,” Chris said making a move to get Sparrow out of the car seat.
She was awake and alert and I was pretty sure that was a real smile on her face. Though it was hard to tell at this age.
“Damn,” Ky said as he reached out and gently snagged Sparrow right out of Chris’ arms. “Cute fuckin’ kid.”
I laughed as I watched my brother melt over her like he did Chry.
“Thanks, brother,” Mouse said in a light tone.
I walked over and stole kisses without taking her out of his arms. I didn’t even try because I could tell he wasn’t going to give her up any time soon. I had no clue how we were going to get out of here to see the house now.
“Row! Row!” Chry called out from his highchair.
Mouse was moving across the room before I had a chance to. I watched with a smile on my face as he cleaned him up. Then Mouse set Chry free so the little guy could go see his new favorite person.
“Alright,” Mouse said. “The agent is meeting us there in ten minutes. We should probably get going.”
“We’ll watch these guys,” Chris blurted out not too smoothly.
I eyed him again.
“It will be easier to look at the place without having to worry about these two,” he quickly added.
“Okay. I’m not going to argue with that,” I said as I kissed Chry and Sparrow bye. I snagged my purse as I made my way to the front door.
I got myself settled in the SUV while Mouse grabbed the diaper bag and ran it inside. He was in there a minute longer than I thought he should have been but I imagined that it was hard for him to leave Sparrow, especially since this was the first time.
