Having his father here was a blessing in disguise for Thomas. He thought it was important for his son to feel close to his family and feel a part of it, which was hard since most of his family still lived in Michigan and since Thomas had no intention of moving back there ever, visits like this were special for them both. It gave him a bit of break from his everyday “Dad” role. He knew how close his father Ed and his niece Arial were and wanted his son to have at least some of that. The fact that this was his dad’s first trip out here in a few years even though money was no concern was something that had irked Thomas. However, he knew his father well. He knew he was man of habits, and had a certain pattern to his days since his retirement, regardless he wished his father would visit more often.
Eventually they went down to the beach the three of them followed happily by the dogs who generally kept themselves busy. Layla however was intent on pestering Ed since he was new to her and had never seen him before. She kept a careful eye on the old man playing with the young boy while Thomas was busy taking pictures with his camera. Harley just trotted along beside Thomas and investigating anything that came across her path. It was a comfortable 70 degrees out and sun was shining and the ever present coastal winds were there. Every now and then Ed would stop and stare out at the ocean looking at ships that were going north, the large waves rolling in a ways out. At one point he stopped near the edge of the water, his bare feet being gently covered by water.
“That’s a big ship, where is it going it looks like it’s getting close?” Ed asked.
“Well could be heading up Seattle way, or heading to the port of Astoria a little bit up the coast” Thomas said. As his son came up and stood in between them and the dogs bounding off into the water.
“Hmm,” Ed said with his gruff voice, adding, “That would be cool to see some time.”
Thomas thought about it for second and then said, “Well why don’t we go up there in a little bit, it’s not a far drive and we can get something to for dinner while we are there. How about it are you feeling up to it?”
Ed was silent at first, which could be good or bad. Thomas hated the idea of his father coming all this way and not seeing much, which with his dad was a danger sometimes. “Seattle is that close to you here,” Ed asked somewhat confused.
Thomas laughed and said “no Dad, Seattle is quite a ways farther north in Washington State but Astoria is real close it’s a nice town, quiet more or less. We could drive over the bridge to Washington so you can say you been there too”
Then Daniel piped up and said “Grandpa they have sea lions there, like wild ones they just sit on the docks and make noises and sometimes you can see them swimming. Dad can we go that would be so cool, I do not think Grandpa has ever seen a sea lion before. Have you ever seen a sea lion Grandpa?” the boy asked.
Ed smiled and looked down at his grandson, then looked up at his son and winked. “I think that sounds like a plan buddy, you told me about them once I always wanted to see them things in the wild. I hear they have good seafood in Astoria,”
“Sounds like a plan, lets head back to the cottage and get ready,” Thomas said.
“Are the dogs coming, I know you bring them everywhere with you?” Ed asked looking at Thomas.
“No Grandpa, Harley and Layla gotta stay they might eat a sea lion and Dad would get in big trouble if they did” Daniel said answering for his dad.
They made their way back to the cottage and got ready to go. They piled into Thomas truck eventually leaving the two dejected dogs at home and made their way up north. On the way up they drove to Cannon Beach, which was another place Thomas and Daniel wanted to take Ed to see. Ever since Thomas came out to Oregon Coast the first time, he had always told his dad about the town of Cannon Beach. While they drove through the small town Ed asked “is that the place that has the good coffee you told me about son?” as they passed Santos Café.
“Sure is Dad, we will stop there tomorrow when we come up” Thomas said. As he drove he had an awkward feeling in his gut, like a ghost was watching him. He could not make sense of it and continued drive through town and getting back on the Coast Highway.
After driving for a while, they entered the city limits of Astoria after driving over a bridge over Young’s Bay at led into downtown Astoria. They eventually saw the massive metal bridge that stretched from Oregon to Washington and crossing the Columbia River known as the Megler Bridge, which was partially covered by fog. It was drizzling a little bit as it did on this part of the coast sometime. Ed asked, “Is it always rainy like this?”
“No not always, often though, but not all the time” Thomas answered.
“No wonder you like it here, you’re a fan of rain for sure” Ed said laughing.
Thomas watched as his dad pointed out the houses on the hill and how old some of them looked. Daniel answered many of the questions his grandfather had and chatted him up for most of the drive through the city. Eventually they came to a small wharf and a parking lot with fishing boats parked in it. When they got out of the truck, they heard the sound of sea lions barking.
“What is that, a sick dog?” Ed asked.
Daniel laughed and said, “No Grandpa that’s sea lions, see they are over there on that dock” the boy said while pointing to the left side of the cement pier they were beginning to walk on. A few trucks and cars were parked on the pier which was an odd site for Ed to see. At the end of an empty dock there were about a dozen fat dark sea lions sitting in a group near the end of it. They could see at least two more swimming in the water around the dock. Ed and Daniel walked to the railing as Thomas hung back and took pictures of the pair of them. Ed put his hands in his pockets and said “well ain't that the damndest thing, look at 'em just sitting there” and turned and smiled at his son. It was nice to see his dad smile about something he had never seen before in the wild.
The three of them walked farther down the pier looking at the sea lions and found more scattered about on different docks. Then they walked down a wide cement dock that shot out from the side of the main pier and walked in between all the fishing boats. Thomas knew his dad had never been this close to a boat like this and neither had Daniel so they were able to stare, discover and explore together. They were very excited about the whole thing and his dad wanted several pictures taken in front of a few of them. They continued looking around and after a while sat, and stared out at the big freighter ships, which were anchored off shore. Ships this size had always intrigued Ed, and Thomas remembers his dad getting excited about them when they would see them off shore on their visits to White Fish Point in Michigan’s upper peninsula.
They sat there for about a half hour more and then went to find something to eat. Much to Daniel dismay, they did not stop at the restaurant with a big wooden Bigfoot on the front of it and instead chose a place in Astoria that had a large seafood menu. Thomas knew his dad really wanted some fresh salmon and to try some clams. As far as raw clam eating skills went his father had none and dropped more of the slippery insides back onto his plate then he got into his mouth. Ed eventually gave using his hands and resorted to using a fork. Daniel wanted to try some but Thomas was wary because of his young age. Raw clams could cause health issues for kids so Thomas told his son no. As they sat in the waterfront restaurant, they could see the sun was getting lower on the horizon even through the light mist. They decided to take a drive over the Megler Bridge into Washington State and just for the sake of doing it. After paying they left and walked back to the truck.
Driving across the bridge was nerve wracking for Ed since he felt Thomas was driving too fast considering the weather and the fog that swallowed up the bridge about a quarter of the way out. Eventually they made to the other side and after stopping at a rest stop and found a parking area. They sat there for a while and thru binoculars spotted an orca out in the distance rolling in and out of the water; all three of them were impressed. They briefly discussed their plans for the rest of the weekend, then after enjoying the view go
t back into the truck and made the drive back down to the cottage. Daniel had passed out asleep in the back seat by the time they hit Warrenton, which was on the other side of the bay from Astoria. When they arrived back at the cottage it was dark out. Thomas let the dogs out of the house so they could do their business then lifted his son out of the truck. He carried him into the house, and set him down gently on the bed. Thomas and his father both kissed the boy’s forehead then began walking out of the room. Before they shut the door, Layla ran into the room and lightly jumped on the bed taking her place next to the boy and looking at Ed carefully.
“She sleeps with him every night?” Ed asked sounding a little shocked.
“Yeah mostly, unless he’s at school or at Derrick and Erin’s while I’m at work Layla never leaves his side” Thomas said with a smile as they stood in the doorway to Daniel room.
“I don’t think she likes me much,” Ed said looking at the lab who was still glaring at him.
Thomas laughed “well Dad she has no idea who you are and why you’re here. She probably smelled Arial and Amanda on you when you got here and she knows them and it is confusing for her. Remember the last time you came out I didn’t have her yet, she is the same way with strangers that Harley always has been”
“Well I suppose that’s a good thing, little man sure does like her” Ed said.
“They are a pair that’s for sure” Thomas said as he reached down to pet the muzzle of Harley’s face that was standing in between him and Ed.
“Now she looks old” Ed smiled as he petted Harley also.
Thomas shut the door to Daniel‘s room and began walking and said well, “so do you Dad, I’m not sure who has more grey hair her or you”.
“Ha ha very funny kid,” Ed said.
“You want a beer Dad, or you want coffee?” Thomas asked.
“Bah, gimme a beer but don’t tell your sister, I’m not supposed to be drinking at my age or at least that’s what your sister says” Ed growled but smiled also.
Thomas opened the door to his fridge, grabbed two beers and handing one to his father, and said, “What happens in Oregon stays in Oregon”. Then gave his dad a wink letting him know his secret was safe.
“I think you have lived by that rule ever since you came here the first time,” Ed said to which Thomas just shrugged in agreement since it was true. Then he headed for the slider door, went outside, and lit a cigarette.
“I thought you quit smoking Dad,” Thomas asked.
“I did, until I got out here away from your sister and niece, I’m lucky to smoke two times a week in Michigan. So I’m going to live by your Oregon rules while I am here,” Ed said smiling.
The moon was high and full, the sky was clear, they could see for miles out because of the light bouncing off the ocean surface. Thomas and his father sat on the beach on some Adirondack chairs looking out at the ocean drinking beer, smoking and talking. Harley was sprawled in the sand by Thomas’ feet and every once in a while lifting her head when she thought she heard a noise out the ordinary. Thomas’ father kept lifting his up at the sky and looking at the stars, the only light really was from the moon so the night sky was full of them. They took turns pointing out the different constellations the two of them could see. They had the typical father and son chat that grown men have when kids and grandkids are not around, talking about women, sports and politics and complaining about this and that. Ed caught Thomas up on the news from Michigan, people he knew that asked about him and talked about years gone by. He also filled Thomas in on other parts of his family that Thomas had stopped talking to and thinking about long ago that were either unhappy or jealous that Thomas had dared to leave Michigan again and never look back.
They sat for another hour or so sometimes talking and sometimes not and then eventually headed off to bed. Thomas let his dad sleep in his bedroom and he slept on the couch, Harley falling asleep on his legs. As he lay on the couch Thomas remembered all the nights he would have coffee with his dad when he still lived in Michigan, the talks and bonding time they had. He saved those times up in his head and heart for times when his dad was back in Michigan. Visits like this once although short, filled a void for Thomas and his son, he was glad his dad came.
Thirty Four
As Stephanie sat on the beach with her dog Shadow near Ludington state park along Lake Michigan, she was doing nothing but thinking. Shadow did not mind the cool water and went bounding off into the blue fresh water then running back and shaking the water off soaking her Stephanie. There was no one on the beach but her and the dog and that is how Stephanie wanted it. She had gotten used to the wide open beaches in Oregon with few people and wasn’t in the mood to deal with crowds. It was Saturday night and she just needed to get out of Grand Rapids for the weekend and checked into a local hotel after heading north. She knew she wanted to be by the water and see the water, she did not know why though.
She remembered back when they first started talking, when Thomas would tell her about how he felt when he moved back to Michigan from Oregon after his first stay out there. He would say he felt different and separated, not part of anything here in Michigan after he returned. Moreover, not caring about much and it felt like a prison to him and his personal hell. She knew his mind and thoughts were always in Oregon always on the coast, he would say a part of him, his soul was there. She never understood that, never knew what he meant. Now, since she had been there herself she knew why she understood Thomas in way she did not before, she understood his heart better perhaps.
Thomas, after moving back to Michigan the last time seemed very critical about the state, the town he lived and the people in it, except the fall and winter, which he loved. Those feelings and opinions of his annoyed and pissed off a lot of people and he never cared it did not bother him. The people it frustrated the most were the ones who had never left Michigan for more than a vacation. Stephanie knew mutual friends of theirs stopped talking to Thomas after he moved back to Oregon and some of his family did the same. Thomas used to tell her on their quiet walks that being in Oregon made him grow bigger than Michigan ever could, it made him better. Stephanie was beginning to understand why and how that was possible even just in the smallest way.
Shadow wandered up from the water and sat down on the blanket next to Stephanie. She looked at her dog that looked back at her; Shadow licked the palm of Stephanie’s hand as if saying, “It will be okay Mom”. Stephanie smiled and rubbed the big dog’s hairy belly.
As Stephanie looked out over a different body of water than what she had been looking at a week before. She wondered if Oregon was the reason she ran from Thomas almost six years ago, or at the very least part of it. She for as long as she had known him knew how much he loved Oregon and the coast. She along with his and their closest friends knew Thomas’ going back to Oregon was inevitable; it was a matter of when not if. At that point, Stephanie was young and not ready to consider about leaving Michigan the state where she was born and raised. Did the fear of him leaving and either wanting her to go with him or leaving without her keep her from dating Thomas, from letting herself fall in love all the way. He might have stayed here in Michigan until she was ready; if that ever happened and she knew then Thomas would have always been unhappy being here even if he never said it. The sun was setting now and soon it would be time to leave. She did not know how to get this out of this funk she was in or if she ever could.
A while later after the sun had set and light became dark, and the stars began to appear Stephanie and Shadow walked up the sandy hill to her SUV, which was parked on the side of the road. They got in and drove back to the hotel they were staying at in town. As she drove she wondered what the future would bring, what it would be and knew something inside of her and in her heart had changed, she just did not know what it was saying yet. Her gut was telling her to do something that her mind was not ready to grasp yet.
. . .
It was not too long before sunset and Thomas, Daniel and Ed strolled along the str
eet of Cannon Beach. They had stopped and gotten ice cream for Daniel then coffee for Thomas and his father at Santos Café. They had spent a large portion of Saturday in Cannon Beach, walking the beach, going through shops and just enjoying the day together.
They slowly made their way back to the truck and decided to go to Ecola State park, which was slightly north of town. Ecola was a seaside park, surrounded by old growth forest. It was favorite spot for hikers and photographers. However, Thomas enjoyed the scenery and the view since the park sat up on high cliff overlooking the Pacific. It was cooler today and over cast but was not raining which was nice; a fine mist though seemed to hang in the air. Thomas thought it gave the coast a nice feel and look…a mysterious presence almost.
After making their way thru some residential streets and over a small creek they were driving through the winding roads that led into the state park. Ed was amazed at the size of some of the trees that were lining the side of the road and surprised at the size of some of the ground plants.
“I can’t believe how big those ferns are, I just saw one that looked like it was the size of a car. I wonder how they get so big,” Ed said wondering.
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