"We don't have to do this," David told her. This changed everything. She'd never known a man. He would be her first. The thought of being the first man to touch her stirred his heart. He wanted to be the only man who ever made love to her.
Tanya took a deep breath, then very gently lifted her hips, pushing against his pelvis. "You can't mean that you don't want me. I may not have much experience at this, but I can tell you're aroused."
He chuckled, then kissed her hungrily. Raising his head, he looked right into her eyes. "I do want you, more than you'll ever know. But, sweetheart, I don't want to hurt you."
"Then please don't leave me." Sliding her hands up his arms, she grasped his shoulders. "Make love to me, David."
David sucked in a breath, then covered her mouth in a fiery kiss. He groaned deep in his throat when she began moving against him. Lifting his lips, he whispered, "Let's take it slow." Aching for her, he clamped down on his own desire and began moving his body inside her, slowly stroking her, easing himself into her until he was at the edge of filling her.
She tightened her grip on his shoulders, her fingers digging into his flesh. As if she anticipated his hesitation, she wrapped her legs around his waist, encouraging him. David pushed harder this time, and in one thrust, he entered her completely.
She cried out softly as he filled her, and he stilled, holding himself in check, letting her body adjust to his. He took his time with her, kissing her and stroking her body with his hands until she relaxed.
Then she began moving against him, and he thrust deeper and deeper inside her, molding her buttocks with his hands, holding her against him when she began to lose control.
Tanya closed her eyes and arched up, her hips moving against his. He moved deeper inside her, and the fire that had started building inside her began to blaze out of control.
When she moaned deep in her throat, David could feel her body tightening around his. His own release began spiraling out of control, and he slipped into the black void of ecstasy.
* * *
Seven
« ^ »
The room fell silent except for their rapid breathing. Tanya's chest swelled. She knew at that moment that she'd given her heart to him, that he would forever be the man she was meant to love.
She caressed his back, loving the feel of his skin beneath her fingers. He groaned, went up on his elbows and looked at her. When their gazes met, she smiled up at him. "So are those the moves you used to put on the girls?"
He chuckled, then briefly kissed her mouth as he pinned her to the mattress. "I never got results like this. You were amazing."
"You were pretty amazing yourself," she answered.
Sucking in a hard breath, he tried to gather a modicum of control. Making love with Tanya had staggered him. More than ever, he knew his heart was in danger. But despite his inner warnings, he wanted more of her.
"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head down to look at her.
Her gaze drifted to his mouth. "I am now." She ran her tongue along her lips, still tasting him, and her body quivered. Closing her eyes, she relished the moment, not allowing herself to feel regret. For five long years, since she was seventeen, she'd dreamed of the day David would take her in his arms and make love to her.
That she wanted him to truly love her was undeniable. She already loved him. Truth be known, she'd loved him for years. Though her heart ached for it, she hadn't expected a confession of his undying love. For the moment, she was content to be with him, and she wasn't going to let anything ruin this moment.
He quirked an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
She nodded. "I think I might need a quick shower," she told him, then felt heat rise to her face.
David kissed her mouth, then raised himself up over her. He met her eyes. "Stay put." He rolled off her and stood beside the bed. His gaze raked her body and his gut tightened.
He wanted her again.
Now.
But he knew it was too soon for her to make love again.
"I'll be back in a minute." He went into the bathroom to clean up, then reached over and turned on the water in the tub. It took a few minutes for the water to heat, then he adjusted the temperature and pulled the knob for the shower. He returned moments later to the bedroom, and before she could speak, he scooped her into his arms.
"What—"
"Shh," he said, then proceeded to carry her into the bathroom. Setting her on her feet, he stepped inside the shower, then tugged her in with him.
Tanya started to protest, then swallowed the words when the warm water and steam surrounded her. David maneuvered her until she was beneath the spray. "Mmm, this feels good," she murmured.
A dispenser on the shower wall provided shower gel, shampoo and conditioner. She watched in silence as he pushed the button for the gel, then lathered his hands. Then he began washing her body, beginning at her shoulders, working down her body until he reached her thighs. The feel of his hands moving so intimately on her started a fire smoldering in the center of her womanhood. Her teeth clenched. "I can do this, you know," she told him, wanting him to stop touching her before she made a fool of herself and begged him to do more than just wash her.
He gave her a grim look. "I wanted to be sure you were okay."
"We had sex, David. I'm a little tender, but it didn't make me an invalid."
Sex. There was that word again. He gritted his teeth. "It was your first time." Then he frowned. When she'd been brought to Cottonwood, his father had been told that she was a juvenile offender. If she'd been in trouble and had traveled in bad circles, how had she remained a virgin? It didn't quite fit her image as a street kid.
Tanya wanted to tell him she was all right, but he lathered his hands again and began stroking her between her legs, easing the ache there. It was all she could do to continue standing.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I want to make love with you again."
"It's too soon," he told her, then kissed her briefly.
"I'm fine," she told him, giving him a small smile. "Did you think I wouldn't be?"
He put his finger under her chin. Lifting her face, he examined her through the steam. "I wanted to be sure." When he was done, he turned her toward the running water and she rinsed herself.
As he began to wash, she got out of the shower and started drying herself. Before she finished, he was turning off the water and stepping from the tub. "Here, let me do that," he told her, taking the towel from her and motioning for her to sit on the toilet so he could dry her hair. When he was done, she took a few minutes to work out the knots and comb it back from her face.
She walked back into the bedroom, a towel wrapped around her body. David had stripped the bed.
"We'll sleep in the other bedroom tonight," he stated, looking at her.
She felt her cheeks grow hot. "Oh." So he'd assumed she wouldn't be going back to her own room. At another time, Tanya might have resisted his taking control and assuming that she would be spending the night with him. But she didn't argue because the idea of sleeping in his arms made her heart pound.
And she was greedy. She didn't expect this time with him to last. When he left her, left Cottonwood, her heart would suffer. She wanted every moment she could have with him.
* * *
David awoke with a start, instantly aware something was wrong. He saw Tanya beside him, thrashing about in her sleep. Grabbing her arms, he tried to subdue her. Her chest heaved and she struggled to breathe. Then she screamed and her eyes flew open.
"It's okay, honey," David crooned, trying to calm her. Obviously she'd had some kind of bad dream. To his surprise, Tanya burst into tears. For a moment he was stunned, and he wondered if she was hurt. A quick assessment of her assured him she wasn't. He pulled her into his arms. "Hush, sweetheart. You're all right. I won't let anything hurt you."
Tanya sniffed, then battled for control. It was a few minutes before she could speak. When she did, her voice trembled. "David, I had the
strangest dream. I can't describe it all, but it was so real."
"What the hell was it?" he practically growled, feeling anxious and inadequate at the same time.
She took a deep breath. "I'm not sure. I was at this house, but the weird thing is that I felt as if I'd been there before. There was a celebration, a birthday party, I think."
Trying to calm her down, he said, "It was just a dream, honey. Don't let it upset you."
"No, it was more than that, David," she told him fervently. "It was almost as if I belonged there, like it was a vision or something."
He tightened his embrace. He wanted to be supportive, but was skeptical of anything involving the supernatural. "I'm sure it was nothing." He reached over and turned on the light. "Just take a deep breath," he said. "You'll feel better."
Blinking from the light, she rubbed her eyes, then focused them on him.
"I'm not making this up."
"I didn't say—"
She sat up and put her hand in front of her, palm out. "Just listen." Tanya hadn't told anyone of her other dreams, or of the strange things that had been happening to her lately. But she wanted to tell David. She wanted him to know, wanted him to help reason out what was happening to her. "It wasn't the first one. I've had several strange dreams lately, and each one is becoming more vivid than the last. In this one, I saw myself at this house, but the odd thing is that it didn't feel wrong for me to be there."
David sat up, too, and he took her hand in his. "Tell me everything."
Tanya did, recounting every dream she'd had, especially the one with the strange girl she'd had last night. She told him about the strange sensations she'd been having over simple things. Like the odd feeling that she'd had when she'd seen the picture of Senator Danforth, and knowing which way to turn when they'd been heading to the airport. She finished by admitting that she had the feeling she'd been at Forsyth Park before. "What does all this mean?" she asked. "It's driving me crazy!"
"I don't know," David said, shaking his head, trying to make sense of everything she'd told him. He'd never been one to believe dreams had much significance. Now he wasn't so sure. Tanya was trembling, and he wondered if something, however unusual, was happening to her.
He studied her and an explanation dawned on him. "The amnesia." He said the words softly, so as not to traumatize her. "Maybe, and I mean this is only a possibility, maybe your memory is returning."
Shock at his explanation almost numbed her. "Oh, my God." Her heart began to pound so hard that she put her hand to her chest. "Oh, my God, David. Maybe you're right!" she exclaimed, and her voice rose to a high pitch. "The peculiar dreams, the feeling that I've been someplace in Savannah before. Even here in Washington," she said in a rush, "I've had that same sense of awareness."
David caressed her face. "Don't get too excited," he told her, trying to calm her down. From her exhilarated expression, he saw it was already too late.
Her eyes grew bigger. "No, you're right! That's the only explanation. It is! It must be that!"
"It's a reasonable conclusion to us, but it may not be that simple, Tanya. They could be happening for any number of reasons. I don't want you to get your hopes up because all this could still be just a coincidence." He wrestled with the idea of her memory returning for a few moments, then realized, selfishly, that he wasn't sure that getting her memory back was such a good thing. How would it affect things between them?
She'd had a life before she'd come to Cottonwood. Considering her past juvenile record, maybe it hadn't been such a good one. Maybe she wouldn't want to remember everything. And what if that old life appealed to her? What if she wanted to return to it?
When he'd first come home to Cottonwood, David had wanted to send Tanya away. He would have done anything to make it happen. Because his feelings for her were all tangled up with the plantation and his father. And she had a way of keeping him on guard all the time. But now the idea of her leaving bothered him more than he wanted to admit. Even to himself.
"Let's not jump to conclusions," he told her firmly. "I want you to get a checkup as soon as we return home."
Home. Tanya blinked. The way he'd said it made her wonder if he was beginning to think of the farm as his home. It was too much to ask for. David was right, though. She needed to be examined by a doctor. Suddenly she sobered. The thought scared her a little. What if she didn't like the person she'd been? Worse, what if David didn't? She'd had a checkered past, so she must have lived a wild, maybe even violent life. Would getting her memory back mean losing what she was just beginning with David?
* * *
Hours later, Tanya lay in David's arms, her head resting on his chest as he held her. Being with him felt so right that she couldn't muster the strength to leave his side. He'd made love to her again, this time using the skill of his hands and mouth to bring her to climax, whispering that she wasn't ready for anything more strenuous. She'd protested, insisting that she was fine, but he'd been adamant and had shown her other ways to enjoy their intimacy.
Though he'd resisted her attempts at intercourse, what she'd experienced with him had been wonderful and fulfilling. She'd used the same techniques to explore his body that he'd taught her while pleasuring hers, and they'd been exhausted by the time they were finished.
Her body was sore, and though he'd insisted she wasn't ready to be with him again, she'd wanted him inside her. Making love with him had been wonderful, but it had also forced her to face reality. Which made her think even more about where their relationship was going. Besides beginning a physical relationship, nothing between them had truly changed.
She was hopelessly in love with him.
Believing he was still asleep, she stirred, then began to move away. His hand clamped around her hip, pinning her in place. She looked up at him and smiled. "I thought you were asleep," she murmured.
He didn't answer. Instead, he claimed her lips in a long, drugging kiss. "Where are you going?"
"I need to start getting ready," she told him. "The meeting starts in a couple of hours."
"Get ready here," David said, "with me." He didn't want her to leave, didn't want to lose the closeness they'd found.
"I can't." She slid her hand over his chest. Enjoying the freedom of touching his body, she ran her finger through the coarse hair there. "My clothes are in my room."
Together they climbed from the bed, and Tanya was surprised at her lack of inhibition as she stood before him naked. Her gaze slid down his body, and a lump formed in her throat. Her love for him was even stronger now that she knew what it was like to be intimate with him.
"I'll shower first, if you want, then dress while you're in there." She walked around the bed toward him.
He pulled her against him, cupped her breast with his palm. "Let's shower together."
Licking her lips, she looked at him. "I have a suspicion that we won't just bathe," she whispered, then her lids drifted shut when he began kissing her neck. It took all of her willpower to push out of his arms. "I don't want to be late."
He smiled lasciviously. "You're right."
Tanya scooped up the dress she'd worn to dinner, then headed to the bathroom. David watched the sway of her hips as she disappeared inside and shut the door. Though he knew that she didn't want to be late arriving at the meeting, he was damn tempted to interrupt her shower.
About fifteen minutes later, she came out of the bathroom in her dress, her blond hair combed straight. "I'm going to my room to finish getting ready," she said, slipping on her shoes. She glanced around for her bra and panties, but they were nowhere to be seen. Rather than make an issue of searching for them, she figured she'd find them later.
When she started for the door, David stopped her, pulling her against his hard body. His mouth came down on hers, claiming her lips in a possessive kiss that made her toes curl. "I'll see you in a few minutes," she whispered when he lifted his lips.
With reluctance, he let her go. "I'll come to your room to pick you up," he told her
, kissing her again, then letting her leave.
An anxiousness filled him as he went into the bathroom. It was something intangible, but it was there just the same. He knew it had to do with Tanya's amnesia, knew that despite his warning for her not to get excited, her memory was returning.
Instead of feeling good for Tanya, he worried about the repercussions. If indeed she was remembering her past, he didn't want Tanya to be disappointed or upset by what she learned.
Though he doubted what was between them could last, he wasn't ready to lose her to her former life.
* * *
"Are you ready?" David asked a little later, as they waited for the meeting to begin. He thought that he'd had a good idea of what Tanya would face when she'd said she was planning to speak at the committee meeting on soybean farming. She'd explained to him that there would be a large conference room filled with people interested in soybean farming—some who were experienced farmers, and others just here for information.
David shook his head. Now he had a better understanding. The room, reserved in one of the finest hotels in the heart of the District of Colombia, held hundreds of people. At the front, a row of tables divided the group of dignitaries seated behind it from the mass of people in rows of chairs across from them.
Tanya gave him a confident look. "Yes, I'm ready."
With what he termed a polite smile, she turned her attention to the speaker and looked as if she was straining to hear what he was saying over the murmur in the room from her seat at the back. "Your turn's coming up next."
"I know," she replied, barely glancing at him.
Despite her assurance, he wondered if she knew what she was getting into. She seemed confident, that was obvious. Still, he couldn't help thinking that although she had a good knowledge of soybean farming, he doubted she had the ability to speak in front of such a large and dignified group. He didn't want to see her embarrassed or humiliated. His feelings for her had been constantly changing since he'd returned home, and making love with her had only confused him more. But one thing he couldn't deny. He was beginning to care deeply for her—more than he felt was safe for his heart.
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