I wished I’d asked him more about “B”. Any clue that would have alerted me to who Brooklyn really was before we slept together.
How could I ever face her again? Knowing what I knew now. She still didn’t know. She still had no idea that I knew her brother. The brother who she had referred to as being in the army. This was what I’d seen in her eyes. I knew she was grieving. The moment I saw her, I knew she was struggling with the loss of something and that was the connection I’d felt towards her. What I didn’t know was that our lives were intricately connected.
And now, I was failing at keeping Jenson’s baby sister safe. The man who I owed everything to. The man who I wasn’t able to protect, who I was in charge of.
The other thing that had shocked me was the new knowledge that Jenson was involved with the Dragon Knights. None of this was making sense. Everything was a blur and I needed to clear my head before I could make any other decisions.
That image of Jenson lying beside me in the sun kept replaying in my head. The way he had spoken about his sister had told me that he cared deeply for her. I should have promised him that whatever happened to him in Afghanistan, I would have looked after his baby sister. I should have taken a step into his personal life and made that promise.
But now it didn’t matter. She was too deep into it for me to save her, and I didn’t have the courage or the strength to face her again.
“Fuck!” I growled, as I rode my bike faster. I was mad at myself, I was mad at Jenson, and I was mad at Brooklyn. This was all my fault. I shouldn’t have pursued her. Then I wouldn’t have found out who she was.
Now there was going to be another burden to carry. Now I knew that I was responsible for Brooklyn’s brother’s death and there was no way I could forgive myself.
15
Brooklyn
“Who were you talking to?” Viper asked as I walked up towards him. I could tell that the multiple cans of beer he’d been drinking had taken their toll on him. He was just short of swaying on his feet, and I knew him well enough to know that drunk Viper was a violent man. Just like the rest of them. Just like daddy had been. Luke had tried to keep me away from that side of him and his friends, but even as a child; I had always paid enough attention to know this.
“Nobody,” I said, brushing past him to go into the bar again. Viper grabbed my elbow and jerked me towards him and suddenly, I’d had enough of him pushing me around. I yanked my arm away from him and stuck my chin up in the air.
“I said I wasn’t talking to anyone!” I snapped, meeting his gaze with my own firm one. He was glaring at me, trying to strong-arm me into cowering, but I wasn’t about to back down now. Not after the night I’d just had.
“I heard your voice,” he growled and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I was on the phone,” I said and he stepped threateningly towards me.
“Who were you on the phone with?” he asked and I pursed my lips together and narrowed my eyes at him, in a show of defiance.
“It’s none of your concern,” I said and he grabbed me by my shoulders. I stumbled backwards but he had pulled me closer to him. Despite everything that had just happened; the first thought that came to my mind was Gunner. I wished he was there. I wanted his arm around me, not Viper’s.
“Everything in your life is my concern, Brooklyn, sugar,” Viper said, bringing his face close to me. His breathing was heavy and I could almost taste the beer on his breath. My muscles had stiffened and I knew I had gone pale. All my courage from a few seconds ago had vanished. I was afraid of him again. He was successful in frightening me.
“Please, just let me go,” I screeched and squirmed in Viper’s arms. Nobody could see us from inside. They couldn’t hear my shrieks. If they had, I was sure that someone would have come outside and broken us up. Not that Viper would be in trouble for jumping on me, but at least they would have put a stop to it.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” he breathed into my ear, while I kept my face turned from him. I was tense in his arms, quivering as he held me tightly to himself. I could feel the erection in his pants as he pressed himself to me.
“I don’t want this, Viper. Please, just let go!” I yelled and tried to claw at him, but no amount of scratching affected him. He had me firmly in his grip and he wasn’t about to let me go.
“You have the most amazing body, B,” he said, sniffing my skin and I felt my stomach drop.
“Don’t call me that!” I yelled, with sudden renewed vigor. “Only Luke called me that. Only he’s allowed to call me that!” I was yelling and pushing him away. I’d found my strength again and I could see that Viper, in his drunkenness, was beginning to lose his grip of me. I kept pushing.
“Well, he’s gone now, honey…and someone has to take care of you,” he said, in his cold slithering voice and I managed to slip out of his arms.
“Get the Fuck away from me!” I said and my own voice was ringing in my ears as I slapped him. My palm fell tightly on his face, enough to twist his head around and Viper seemed to drunkenly stumble backwards. He was more shocked than hurt by what I’d done and his hand went up to his cheek where the slap had landed. He looked up at me with widened eyes and I straightened my top and smoothened the front of my jeans.
“Stay the Fuck away from me,” I hissed at him in a lower deeper voice, and turning from him, I walked into the bar.
Nobody seemed to have noticed that I was gone, nor Viper for that matter. They all seemed to be exactly where I had left them before and I pasted a smile on my face.
“Hey, Pike!” I walked up to him, while he had his face buried in the hair of one of the groupies, whose name I didn’t remember. He pulled himself away from her, to smile at me.
“I want to get really drunk tonight,” I said to him and he threw his hands up in the air and cheered.
“Brooklyn’s getting hammered tonight!” he yelled joyously and everyone at the bar cheered along with him.
The drinks started pouring and everyone was happy, cheering me on as I took the drinks from them. I was in the mood for whisky tonight. Something hard and rough down my throat to deal with the numbness in my head. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Viper staggering into the bar and I turned to him.
His eyes were bloodshot and there was a pinkish fading Viper on his cheek still…where I had slapped him. I knew he was angry and I knew there would be consequences for what I’d done, but I also knew that he wouldn’t do anything now in front of everyone.
I stuck my nose up in the air and whipped my face away from him. Whatever he wanted to do to teach me a lesson, would have to wait.
Tonight, I just wanted to forget about everything Gunner had said to me. I just wanted to forget…
But I couldn’t forget, and I was hoping that was because I wasn’t drunk enough. I’d switched between whiskies and gin over the course of the night and by now, I was sitting on a chair by myself, watching the others talking loudly, making out and fingering some of the women, getting into petty fights with each other.
On any other night, this scene would have been enough for me to get up and leave, but tonight…I had too much on my mind to bother with this.
Everything Gunner had said was still ringing in my ears. I didn’t want to believe it was true. This was my family. Viper was a bad apple amongst them no doubt, but these guys were all looking out for me. How could I do anything to go against them? What would daddy have said if he knew I’d slept with a member from the rival gang? What would Luke have done?
I tried to reason with myself, and think about whether Viper’s behavior was justifiable. If I was truly loyal to the club, if I was truly loyal to my family…then I should have been with Viper. He was the kind of guy daddy would have chosen for me. Viper was the guy he would have been happy to see me with. Luke was always protective of me, treating me as his baby sister, but ultimately, he would have settled down with the idea. Never in a million years, would either of them have allowed me to date Gunner. He was completely
out of the question and a big mistake.
But I knew I had fallen for him. We’d known each other for only a few days, but I’d felt the connection. He knew how I was feeling, he could see into my soul and there was something about him…something unspoken which made me believe that I could trust him. That he would keep me safe.
And yet, he had turned up here tonight, spouting all of that nonsense about a prostitution ring! How was that even possible?
I’d been thinking about it for so long that my thoughts were muddying my head. I could feel a dull aching throb at the back of my brain, and then a flash from a conversation from that morning floated up. A conversation from the diner; of Pike and Viper and the others sitting around in the booth and talking about girls. They’d spoken about money, about payments…what did that mean?
I looked around the bar at the people who I considered to be my family. No matter how rowdy or violent they were, or how badly they treated the groupies that always hung around them; I couldn’t imagine these guys being involved in a prostitution ring…or was I just walking around with blinders on my eyes?
Was it really that unthinkable?
From the corner of my eye, I saw Viper again. He had kept his distance from me since that slap and I figured that he was too drunk then to come up with a payback. But then, I saw him whispering something into someone’s ears. It was Blade, one of his closest friends and someone who I tried to avoid as much as possible too. He had asked me out many times and I’d turned him down each time.
Blade and Viper were looking at me while they spoke. They both had darkened expressions on their faces and I shifted in my chair, nervous under their heavy gaze from across the room. I could sense that they were talking about me. Was Viper telling him what I’d done? That I’d dared to slap him? A slap from a woman was probably the biggest insult any of these guys could receive. I was surprised that Viper hadn’t just pinned me to the wall and had his way with me right there.
With their eyes still on me, Viper and Blade walked over to Pike, who had his hand down some girl’s jeans. He didn’t take his hand out, while they spoke to him and abruptly, Pike looked up and over to me. They were telling him something about me and I saw him narrow his eyes at me.
I could feel panic overtake my body. Were they going to do something? Surely, they wouldn’t do something to me! I was Luke’s sister. I was a part of their family. I was like a sister to them!
Pike suddenly smiled, a cold evil smile that sent chills straight to my bone. Even though my mind was swimming with alcohol, I had the good sense to smile back at him. Viper, Blade and Pike looked away from me and walked away together to talk to each other huddled in a corner.
I could hear my heart beating out of my chest as I stood up from the chair, collecting my purse off the table. No matter what rules of loyalty and trust daddy had taught me, I couldn’t do away with the gut feeling that something was going on and something wasn’t quite right.
I weaved my way through the rowdy crowd towards the doors of the bar. I could sense Viper and his friend’s eyes on me, expecting one of them to step up and block my way any moment. I counted every step, I could nearly hear the clock ticking as I pushed open the doors.
Nobody had stopped me.
Then I ran. I could feel the cool wind in my hair as I ran in the dark. I didn’t wait to call a cab, I just wanted to get out of there. Even as I ran, I hoped that I was just overreacting, that I was just panicking for no reason. That it was just the alcohol that was making me paranoid. No member of the Dragon Knights would do anything to put me in danger, or hurt me.
I only stopped running when I came closer to my apartment building, out of breath and sweating. Nobody had followed me.
That night, I locked my door in the apartment and then in my bedroom. I made sure all the windows were locked tight as well and even though I tried to stay awake and be alert, I fell asleep easily. I’d had too much to drink.
16
Gunner
I eventually found my way to The Rusty Pelican that night. The guys were all there already and they greeted me in with cheers. I knew I was a mess.
As if I didn’t hate myself enough for what had happened to Jenson and how I wasn’t able to save him, now I was going to be responsible for Brooklyn too. She would have to find out eventually, and when she found out the truth; she would know exactly the kind of man I was. The kind of man who couldn’t protect his own men. And then she would hate me, just like I deserved.
I knew I was falling for her, I was falling bad…and I also knew that I deserved everything I was feeling then. I didn’t deserve any happiness after what I’d done to Jenson.
When Hunter pulled out his pack of cigarettes, I made a beeline for it and lit one with the Zippo I still carried around in my pocket. The end glowed deep orange as I took in a breath and exhaled. I could feel the nicotine seeping into my blood vessels.
“You’re smoking again?” Glock asked and I shrugged when I looked at him.
“Where have you been?” Sniper asked, bringing over a fresh batch of beer for the group. The glass bottles in his hands tinkled and sent shocks down my spine. I still couldn’t come to terms with everything I’d discovered that night. The fact that Brooklyn was still there, surrounded by the Dragon Knights was bothering me too. But I couldn’t have dragged her away. I couldn’t force her to do something she didn’t want to do.
“I had some business to attend to,” I told them unconvincingly and puffed away at my cigarette. I could feel the smoke filling my lungs, the nicotine taking over my senses.
“I really can’t wait to storm the place,” Hunter said, gripping his bottle tightly in his hands. Sniper looked enthusiastic as well.
“They might have a shit load of weapons stored in there. Either way, it’s going to be a huge risk,” Tank, the wise one in the group, spoke up.
“But we’ll have weapons of our own, won’t we?” Sniper said but nobody responded. We all knew what a raid like that could mean. There was always a potential of lives being lost. The only advantage we had in this situation, was the element of surprise.
I gulped down large quantities of the beer in front of me and then wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. The cigarette continued to sizzle between my fingers.
“We have the weapons and we know what’s going on in there. We need to get those motherfuckers,” I said through gritted teeth and sensed them all turning to look at me. I wasn’t a big talker and they had all noticed that, what I’d just said had probably surprised them all.
“Welcome back, man,” Glock said with a laugh, reaching over to squeeze my shoulder. I gulped some more beer and my mind swayed with thoughts of Jenson and Brooklyn again. I took another drag of the cigarette to forget.
“Anything could be happening to those women. They could be sold off by now. They could be chained. Tortured,” I was speaking feverishly, staring into space with my eyes widened and my hands trembling slightly as I brought the cigarette to my lips again.
“Yeah, but we’re going to put a stop to it. You okay, man?” Hunter was peering into my eyes, in all probability; trying to figure out what had suddenly made me so talkative. All those words were pouring out of me in a gush, because I wanted to do everything I could to stop thinking about Brooklyn, and her brother.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I snapped at him, and emptied the beer down my throat. The others were silent as they watched me get up and go to the bar again. My heavy-duty Military grade boots crunched on the floor as I walked up and ordered three more bottles of beer. I had every intention of emptying those three down my throat as quickly as possible. I was hoping that if I was drunk enough, then I wouldn’t be thinking about what I was trying so hard to forget.
I came back to the table and realized that the topic had changed.
“You need to get some new tats, man,” Sniper said in a joyful mood now. I knew what he was talking about. Every member of Bad Disciples got their mark; one the life side of their chest, a tattoo of a skul
l with a crown. My dad had it and so did Bryce and so did every patched member around me.
“Let’s do it tonight,” I said and Glock laughed, like I was joking.
“Wait, you serious? It’s going to take a couple of sittings and we’re going to war tomorrow,” he added, his smile dropping when he saw me glaring at him. The word “war” reminded me of Jenson again, and the land mine I wasn’t able to save him from; and I shifted in my seat.
“Yeah, whatever, fine,” I mumbled under my breath angrily and chugged down half a bottle of beer while the others watched me.
“What’s up with you, man?” Tank asked, creasing his brows as he looked at me intently.
“Nothing,” I said and banged the bottle down on the table. “Nothing’s wrong with me, I just want to get this thing over with,” I said, and Brooklyn’s face floated up in front of my eyes.
If I was going to stop these thoughts in my head, I would have to do a lot more than drink a few beers.
***
I woke up the next morning, in what seemed to be someone else’s apartment. It took a few minutes for the fogginess in my eyes to clear and for me to recognize that it was Glock’s place.
The room was lit brightly and I could see that it was early morning. Lying on my belly, I squinted my eyes against the light and tried to think about the events of the previous night, but that was a failed mission.
I couldn’t remember how I got there or what happened after the first three bottles of beer that I drank. I was on Glock’s couch and I moved and felt my brain rattle in my head. With a groan, I crashed back down on the couch and tried to sit up again. My limbs ached, my bones seemed to crack and there was a massive continuous throb in my head. I had tortured myself the previous night, knowing fully well the degree of the hangover I would have to go through the next morning. But I would have done anything to numb the pain. I’d smoked at least two packs of cigarettes, or at least that’s how my lungs felt that morning.
Tank (The Bad Disciples MC Book 3) Page 33
