by Lisa N. Paul
This was not his Ashley.
“Umm, no, I’ve got a lot to say. It’s just that you look so…so…different.” Handing Ryan a draft beer, Ashley tried to decipher what that comment meant, but his emotions seemed as guarded as his facial expressions. Sure, she could definitely read lust—she’d learned how to pick up that signal like a champ over the past couple of years—but she couldn’t tell if it was happiness or disappointment in his golden brown eyes. Oh, who cares, she chastised herself. You are who you are. If he doesn’t like it, fuck him.
“So, Ryan, what brings you to Charistown, Pennsylvania? It’s a fuckava long trip from Miami.” His beer must have gone down wrong because his face went red and he started choking. Quickly composing himself, he lifted his glass to his lips for another sip. Was he smiling?
“Christ, Ash, throwing around swear words like a champ now, aren’t ya?” His comment rippled through her mind as she thought back to the naive girl she once was. The girl who’d thought that the world was kind, who’d thought that those who loved her would always be around and would always protect her. The girl who’d hid behind her intellect instead of experiencing what life had to offer.
Well, she was no longer that girl. Now, she lived her own life and if someone didn’t like what she had to offer, she didn’t care. She took care of herself now. Life was great. Yep, great.
“Yeah, a lot has changed over the past couple of years. You look a bit different yourself.” She ran her gaze from his head to his boots, using her eyes as if they were fingers stroking his skin. “I like your hair short like that,” she murmured almost as if she were talking to herself. “Clearly I’m not the only one with an affection towards facial jewelry.” He absently touched the silver hoop that adorned his left eyebrow, while he licked his full lower lip before pulling it between his teeth. She couldn’t pull her eyes away from his lips. God, I miss those lips, she thought.
“What was that?” Ryan’s smirk confirmed her thoughts had not been silent.
“Nothing.”
She couldn’t just stand there looking at all of the perfection that was Ryan Baker, so instead she started wiping down the already spotless mahogany bar.
Ryan watched with amusement as Ashley mindlessly cleaned the bar top. With yet another swipe of her towel, she casually asked, “So, you didn’t answer my first question. What brings you this far from home?”
“Let’s just say I’m between homes right now,” he answered cryptically as he watched her long sculpted arms cross the bar with smooth graceful motions. Her body had been developed into a beautiful work of art that called to him on a visceral level.
Even though it was early November in Pennsylvania, there she stood in a black ribbed tank top with the words, Danny’s on Main scrolled across her ample breasts. Her long legs were incased in tight ripped jeans that showed off the firm ass he noticed when he first entered the bar. Even the ink she had chosen to adorn her skin was beautiful and feminine; she just didn’t stand still long enough for him to read what it said. “Ashley,” his voice husky in a way he hadn’t heard in years. She stopped moving for a moment as her eyes met his. He fell into her stare, lost for a moment, free falling through time.
The golden flecks in Ryan’s irises stirred long suppressed emotions as Ashley felt her breath quicken once again. How could he still affect her like this after so long apart? “You need another beer?” She asked the question but didn’t wait for his answer before pouring the draft and sliding it over to him.
“No, you know damn well that’s not what I need. You think I came all this way for a beer?” His pierced brow lifted, adding emphasis to his question.
“How the hell do I know why you came here, Ryan.” He stared at her silently, his mouth agape and his eyes filled with emotion.
To make it right, Leo’s words echoed in his head.
“Hello? You still in there? I asked, why the hell are you in my bar?”
“Oh really, so it’s your bar now is it, little girl?” The gravelly voice that boomed from behind Ryan visibly shook him. Just before he turned around to meet the man that came with the voice, he caught the huge grin that spread across Ashley’s painted lips.
Standing up to his full height of six-one, he turned around to meet the man who’d made Ashley’s eyes sparkle.
“Danny Marcus,” the tall man said with an outstretched arm. Accepting the gesture and returning it with a firm shake, Ryan gave the man a quick scan. Hmm, late forties, not bad looking, owns the bar, he makes her happy. “And you are…”
“Oh, sorry, man. I’m Ryan Baker. Nice to meet you.” Ashley’s giggle behind him had his shoulders bunching with tension.
“Danny, this is…umm…an old friend of mine from Miami. We knew each other a long time ago.” Her bland explanation of their relationship cut deep, but the way her voice trailed off towards the end, made pain shoot through his heart. He absently reached back to the bar for support hoping the agony her words caused didn’t show on his face.
“Sweetheart,” Danny rumbled, “You either know someone or you don’t. There’s no past tense with that. Ryan, any friend of Ashley’s is welcome here. Have a seat, I’ll get you a burger—they’re the best in Charistown. Ashley here will get you another drink. I’ll go get my wife, Julie. I’m sure she’d love to meet you.” He winked as if he knew the information about his wife would bring some sort of peace to Ryan’s fractured ego, and it did. Ryan then watched as Danny disappeared through the double doors.
“I like him, Ash, he seems really…wise.” The cool look emanating from Ashley’s eyes told him she wasn’t necessarily in agreement at that moment.
“Seriously, Ry, why are you here?” His physical presence caused unease in her stomach that she hadn’t felt in three years. When Ashley moved to Charistown she’d started over—buried her skeletons and reinvented herself. Yeah, she was hiding, but for now it worked for her. It allowed her to breathe, but now Ryan’s presence was like a vise threatening her air. Wringing the rag in between her clutched fists, she lowered her voice so only he could hear what she was about to say. “You can’t be here. This is my life. This is where I chose to be. It’s not your fucking home, Ryan Baker, it’s mine.” She wanted to slap the sinful smile off his too-goddamn-sexy face. “What’s so funny?”
“I’m sorry, Princess, it’s just every time you swear, well…it kind of turns me on.” She narrowed her eyes at his statement and then watched as he chuckled in response. “I’m not kidding, it’s hot.”
She felt like her head was going to explode. She could keep up her façade and pretend that she was who she was, but only if everything stayed the way it had been. She’d built a life for herself. She had her job, her acquaintances, and her occasional dates, but that life was a deck of cards and Ryan Baker was the gust of wind that could blow it all apart.
“Ryan, do not now or ever, refer to me as ‘Princess’. I have a name—use it. Or better yet, just hop back in your super-dooper little car and head back to wherever the hell you came from.”
She almost dropped her towel when a loud gasp came from directly behind her.
“Ashley Beth Kynde, is that how your mother taught you to speak to people?”
Ryan’s attention shifted to the petite, strawberry-blonde woman wrapped in Danny’s arms, who’d addressed Ashley in the way only a maternal-figure would. She was a good-looking lady, maybe somewhere in her mid-forties if Ryan had to guess. Her smile was bright, her face was kind, and she gave off a motherly vibe that made Ryan want to walk over and give her a hug. At her comment, Ryan returned his glance to Ashley, and Ashley back at him. Her lips twitched just before a giggle escaped her mouth. Ryan couldn’t hold back his chuckle and finally they both started laughing uncontrollably.
“Yes. Yes she did,” they said in unison.
Their identical answer spurred an even larger wave of laughter between the two of them. Finally, Ashley came out from behind the bar and walked directly into Ryan’s waiting embrace.
“
Did I say something funny?” Julie asked her husband.
“Apparently you did, beautiful. Apparently you did.”
Hours later, Ashley smiled over her shoulder at Ryan as she headed towards the restrooms. “I’ll be right back, I’ve gotta pee. Why don’t you order us another round?”
Ryan’s gaze found her ass and stayed there until his thoughts were disrupted by a deep voice. “So, Danny says that you know Ashley from way back.” He stared skeptically at the large Greek god who’d spoken to him from behind the bar. “Sorry, man, my name’s Max. It’s nice to meet one of Ashley’s old friends.”
Ryan shook Max’s huge hand, trying not to be intimidated by the man’s sheer perfection. “We’ve joked that she must have been hatched right before she came here, because she never talks about her past.” He laughed at his own humor. “Anyway, I’m back here for the rest of the night with my buddy, Kyle, so we’ll keep you guys from getting thirsty.” Max nodded his head toward the restrooms, “She drinking tequila on the rocks with fresh lime juice?”
“She was, but she’s been doing straight shots for the past hour. I think she’s probably past her limit. I should probably take her home. I can’t believe she isn’t on the floor.” Worry twisted in Ryan’s gut. God, she wasn’t even twenty-one yet. Did they even know her age?
“Ryan, my new friend, your poker face sucks,” Max laughed. “We all know she ain’t legal yet, but that pretty little angel grows horns when she wants to forget. You hear what I’m saying?” Ryan wasn’t sure he understood what this guy was saying, but he nodded his head anyway.
“If you know she isn’t twenty-one aren’t you scared you’ll get in trouble? Better yet”—Ryan felt a surge of protectiveness tingle in his mind—“aren’t you concerned for her. My God, she can’t weigh more than a buck fifteen. She’s probably puking her guts up as we speak.”
He was having a hard time banking his anger when he noticed Max’s shoulders shuddering and saw the flash of white teeth from his megawatt smile. This huge man was laughing at him.
“Dude, are you sure you know the same Ashley Kynde that we know? Because our Ashley can drink most men under the table. There’s no way our girl is puking in the bathroom right now.” The certainty in Max’s voice confused Ryan. Their Ashley? What the hell had happened to his Ashley?
“Batter’s up, Max.” Her scent announced her presence before her voice did. At least one thing hadn’t changed—she still smelled like coconuts and sunshine. Ashley straddled the bar stool and placed her feet on the bottom rung.
“Your boy says you’ve been slamming the gold for the past hour, you have any interest in slowing down or do you want another shot first?” Ryan noticed Max was reaching for a clean shot glass before Ashley had even answered.
“I’ll take another shot and then I’ll slow it down with a margarita. And Max…” She lifted herself so the palms of her hands were flat on the top of the bar making her ass jut out just enough to make Ryan’s cock twitch in his jeans. She thumbed over her shoulder toward Ryan as she spoke. “He is not my fucking boy. Get it straight or you know I’ll have fun getting even.” Her smile sparkled as she lifted the shot in a toast to no one and slammed it down her throat.
Ashley knew she was getting drunk, hell, she just tossed her cookies in the bathroom not five minutes before, but this was the only way she could deal with Ryan’s presence. It was taking Wonder Woman strength just to be near him without crawling in his lap and begging him to come home with her. In the parts of her mind that were still thinking clearly, she knew that she and Ryan couldn’t be…they could never ever be again. But in all of the other parts, the girly parts that turned to mush every time she thought about him over the past three years, the parts that cried out for him in the middle of the night, the parts that yearned for him no matter what other man was in her bed, those parts couldn’t ignore his scent, his smoldering good looks, or his smooth sexy voice.
Christ, she was in trouble.
“Hey, girlie, I’m cutting you off. You’re opening tomorrow and I don’t wanna hear any bullshit about being hung-over. I’m gonna have Julie call you a cab, okay, honey?”
The gruff Danny from earlier in the day had been replaced with a more loving, paternal figure and Ryan found himself surprised and grateful for the man who seemed to have true affection for each member of his staff.
“Umm, Danny, I’d be more than happy to take her home—if you could just tell me where she lives.”
“Max,” Danny’s voice hardened, “Keep an eye on Ash here for a second, I’m gonna send Julie out to watch her.” Danny swung his long thick arm over Ryan’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this guy in back for a little chat.” Ryan couldn’t ignore the questioning glance followed by the smirk Max threw his way.
“Will do, boss,” Max laughed, and Ryan watched him pour a glass of water for Ashley before he and Danny turned away and headed for their chat. Slightly curious, and more than a little nervous, Ryan soon found himself in the office at the back of Danny’s on Main waiting to hear what Danny had to say. What do you have to be nervous about? This isn’t her father. This guy is…is…
The man staring at him with a level glare and a paternal aura acted more like Ashley’s father than her biological one ever had.
“Have a seat, Ryan,” Danny requested as he parked himself in the well-worn office chair.
“That’s okay, Danny, I’m fine with standing. What is it that you wanted to discuss?”
“Sit down, boy!” The warm smile Danny had worn all day quickly disappeared, leaving an icy stare and a clenched jaw in its wake. His tone left no room for argument and Ryan’s ass quickly found the seat behind him. He must have been wearing his what-the-fuck face, because Danny’s face relaxed a little as he leaned back in his seat.
“So here’s the deal. Ashley’s been here just about two and half years now, and she’s a good girl with a kind heart. Julie and I consider her ours and we look out for what’s ours. Does that make sense to you?”
Ryan stared at the man sitting in front of him for a brief second before answering, “Uh, Danny, to be honest, I’m still trying to figure out how you were able to switch personalities that fast without turning green and splitting your pants, so no, right now nothing of what you’re saying is making any sense.” He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, trying to figure out how Ashley ended up in this place.
“Nice,” Danny snickered. “A Hulk reference. We love our super heroes around here. I can’t wait to tell the guys you compared me to the Hulk.” He continued to laugh until he saw the unamused look on Ryan’s face, and then quickly voided his face of the amusement before proceeding with his lecture.
“Listen up, kid. My wife and I, we only hire special people—the people with kind hearts and strong souls.” Danny shrugged. “It’s like a gift we have. We think of our staff like family and Ashley…well, that girl is family. For as long as she’s been here she’s worked hard, played hard and done everything in her power to make everyone around here happy. But, she keeps her past tucked deep in the back of her closet with the mothballs. We all know it, we all respect it and we all protect it.
I allow her to drink even though she’s underage because she is the most responsible person I know and while the irresponsibility of that decision doesn’t escape me,” the man blushed—he actually blushed, “she has me wrapped around her finger. She hasn’t gotten in trouble yet and her birthday is next month so, I’m keepin’ my fingers crossed.”
Ryan sat quietly, processing the truckload of words this man was dumping out while Danny continued. “It was more than obvious from the moment I saw you two together that there is a shit-ton of history there, and after spending the past five hours with you both, I can see that it’s a book that hasn’t been closed.” With his hands splayed on his knees Danny shifted, coming within inches of Ryan. He lowered his voice, making the gravelly sound more evident. “So my question is: What do you want with my little girl?”
Ryan’s head was
spinning. How had this man gone from boss, to friend, to scary green guy, to father—all in one evening? How had Ashley ended up tending bar here in a suburb of Philadelphia when she was supposed to be attending U of Penn? These questions rolled around his brain but only one answer left his mouth.
“I love her. I’ve loved her for years Danny, but I screwed up and I lost her. I’m not gonna sit here and give you a bullshit list of reasons why it wasn’t my fault and why she misunderstood. I deserved to lose her.” Ryan scrubbed his hands over his face.
It felt good saying this out loud to someone who cared about Ashley—someone who would hold him responsible for his actions. Sure, he had spent the past two and a half years in therapy, spilling his guts to virtual strangers, but they were paid to listen to him. They were there to take his side and make him feel better. The man sitting in front of him apparently loved Ashley. Danny didn’t owe him anything and that’s what made this confession so important to him.
“I loved her, but not in the way she deserved. I took and took but I never gave back all of the trust and love that she gave me, and one day I pushed too hard—”
Danny’s eyes went wide and the muscle in his jaw twitched as he spoke through his teeth. “Did you lay a hand on that girl?” Ryan could see Danny’s white knuckles gripping the armrests of the chair.
“Fuck no! Are you kidding?” Ryan was appalled. He would never ever lift a finger in anger to a woman—especially not that woman. She could have clubbed him to death with a bat before he would so much as pinch her in the heat of an argument.
