She lies awake for hours after this with the sense of dread that helplessness brings. There is nothing she can do. Should she have seen a solicitor earlier in the day when Robert Thane alerted her? She remembers something her Press Relations colleague said – ‘you can’t fight the press and win’. This is like being the proverbial rabbit caught in headlight glare.
She sleeps somewhere towards three o’clock – she cannot be sure. Flashbacks from the accident wake her twice and her last dream is of a bus driving at speed towards her and Jane. Robert Thane is at the wheel.
CHAPTER 25
‘VICARAGE SEX ROMP ENDS IN ROAD RAGE ATTACK’. So pronounces the headline on the Journal Daily on Thursday morning. A photo of Susan, taken at a conference about six months ago for a journalists’ library bank, is beneath the strap line. Beside it is a photo of Dave Ramsey, trying unsuccessfully to conceal his face, as he is escorted from the police station.
The subheading reads ‘TV Presenter has Affair with Minister’. The article continues: ‘Journal Daily can now exclusively reveal that the man being held in connection with the attempted murder of TV presenter Susan Blakely on Friday last is in fact her jilted lover.
Thirty six year old Dave Ramsey is being questioned about the hit and run attack on Susan Blakely and her friend Professor Linda Pilar. He is said to have catapulted his car at them outside the city’s One-To-One restaurant as the two women were leaving the trendy eating-house.
A reliable source has revealed that the reason for the attack was the Reverend Ramsey’s fury at being jilted by Miss Blakely after she had an affair with him on the island of Mull. The couple met when Blakely interviewed Ramsey after a drowning accident off the island’s east coast. Reverend Ramsey was praised at the time for his handling of the church response.
Susan Blakely, well known for her withering attacks on people who transgress in public life, appears to have now done the same thing herself. She is currently engaged to legal expert Bill Nicolson, of Nicolson and Berry. He was not available for comment last night.
Journal Daily can reveal that the affair took place over a period of years and that Ramsey’s unsuspecting wife, Brenda, was left alone at home for many evenings at a time.
A source close to Mrs Ramsey stated that the nature of the sexual relationship between Brenda’s husband and Miss Blakely was lurid and kinky.
A deeply distressed and tearful Mrs Ramsey said yesterday that divorce is now inevitable.’
Jonathon brings the paper round to her flat on Thursday morning towards nine o’clock. She has been home from hospital for nearly twenty-four hours and Jonathon knows she does not have tabloids delivered. He comes in to the flat more like a friend than a boss and sits quietly whilst she reads the leader article. She says nothing, just looks at him and asks,
“What now?” She means, “How is the TV Company going to react? And how did the Journal Daily get this? I thought the City Tribune got it from Ramsey?”
Jonathon has been with the chief executive, Martin Braithwaite, and came straight over from his office to Susan’s flat. Jonathon is acting as a go-between. He is a man of few words.
“Damage limitation, Susan. That’s all we can do. We have had several papers on to us this morning looking for comment. We’ve given the same response to them all. ‘Susan Blakely is one of our best TV presenters, she has had an appalling experience in the recent car attack on her and we have every confidence in her. We will not comment any further on a matter that is in the hands of the police.’ That will be all we will say.”
Susan gets the impression from the steel in her boss’s voice that he has had a rough ride with Braithwaite.
“Does the Chief want to see me?”
“No. Not at the moment, anyway. His view is that you obviously won’t be fit enough to do the programme for a week or two and that we should let one of the team front next week till this blows over. Then we should stay clear of any topics that could be linked to this sort of stuff.” He waves a hand at the paper that lies on the table between them.
“The Ramsey case won’t come to court till after the series is over so we will get some breathing space till then. There is not much they can print in the meantime.”
He is watching her closely, now.
“Is there much to come out, Susan?”
She has no choice. A lie now could cost her later.
“Possibly.”
“I see. Well, all we can do is wait. Susan, there is every chance you can ride this out. Your reputation has gone from strength to strength over the last few years, especially over this summer in particular. The viewing figures for ‘Live Tonight’ are high and the crits are good. There is also enormous sympathy for both of you – you and Linda – over this accident.”
“Opinion is fickle, though. We know that, Jonathon. I need to get back in the public eye as soon as possible”
“Oh, sure. And the positive stuff about you far outweighs the tabloid. The TV Company has much greater influence than this tabloid muck-spreader. You know that.”
“Do you think I should seek a legal opinion about an action against the paper?” She knows the answer before she finishes the question.
“Absolutely not. That will just attract more attention. No. Say nothing. Do nothing. Come back to work as soon as you are ready and we take it from there.”
“Right. Thanks, Jonathon.”
He indicates that there is nothing to thank him for. But Susan knows him and the Company. She surmises that there will have been a top-level meeting about her and in her absence. Jonathon will have been summoned. They will have discussed the options; throw her to the wolves and protect the TV Company; or protect her in order to protect the company. She knows that Jonathon will have argued for the latter – he always has a soft spot for his own staff, her included. She does owe him her thanks, even if he will not accept them.
She tries to gauge the political climate of the meeting that Jonathon was in.
“Was it a difficult meeting with the Chief, Jonathon?” He clearly knows exactly what she means.
“No. Not really, Susan. Everyone is very sympathetic.” She hopes this is true.
He does not stay long. He needs to be fielding from his desk. She knows not to bother to offer him coffee.
The flat is big, silent and empty when he goes, the Journal Daily lying like a cancerous growth in the body of her living space. She reads the article again, looking between the lines for the informant. It looks very much as if it must have been Brenda who gave them the information. Maybe she took the initiative and went to them, rather than them going to her.
She feels miserable. Hospitals breed infection and she is nursing a head cold that she picked up in the last couple of days. Her eyes smart and her nose is running. The symptoms of the concussion have abated, though, and all the weakness and sickness has long since passed. Despite Linda’s account, she still has no recall from the moment of impact onwards until the next day in the hospital bed.
She wanted to be discharged from hospital sooner but she had a cautious doctor. She had a full battery of tests and she was finally given the all clear. There is no internal bleeding and no lasting damage. It was, the doctor thought, a mild and uncomplicated concussion but with the combination of emotional trauma from the attack, the need for police protection and her high profile job, he persuaded her to rest in the hospital until Wednesday.
The early days after the accident are a blur now. She remembers being told what had happened by a doctor when she came round. Bill told her again. She remembers Bill being around at the beginning. But he has not been back since Alberto came to the hospital. Perhaps his nose is out of joint?
She remembers Alberto’s visit and his calm, gentle concern for her. He behaved like a perfect gentleman and there was something endearing about him.
Her biggest sadness is for Linda; Linda with her broken leg, her broken marriage, her broken relationship. Susan is responsible for Linda being there when that madman came at them. How
can she ever forgive herself for that?
She remembers the police questions, gentle at first and paced to what the doctors would allow, more pressing as the week went on. Then they came to see her to tell her about Dave Ramsey’s confession.
She thought then that her career could be over, at least in its present form. She simply did not see how she could survive the publicity of Ramsey’s open confession as to what he had done and why. It would all come out in court and she would go down with him, at least in terms of reputation. She spent the last period in the hospital in a deep trough of unhappiness that no amount of visiting well-wishers, cards or flowers could offset. But despite the wary concern of her doctor, she refused any medication, including anything to help her to sleep after her discharge. She let the doctor think it was post-traumatic emotion she was feeling and said she preferred to get over it slowly and without pills. This was not quite true because what you do not remember; you do not feel traumatised by. All she felt about the accident was a sense of frustration that she was dependant on others to tell her about vital minutes of her life. She wondered how people come to terms with longer periods of being in a coma. The world moved on in even the short time she lost, leaving her to make a lot of mental adjustments.
She rang Bill on Wednesday to let him know that she was being discharged but only connected with his answer phone. He did not come round to her flat on the Wednesday evening as she thought he might. Colleagues from work arranged to have a box of food delivered so that she did not need to go out. She rang Linda and talked with her for a while but other than that she just had a quiet time, adjusting to being out of hospital and away from the imposed regime.
Since being told about Ramsey, she has felt herself to be in a trap from which there is no escape. Fleeting moments of surprise, that Ramsey would have had the balls to actually do anything like this, have given way to contempt – sheer and utter contempt. That he attacked her was despicable but that he attacked Linda leaves her with no words to describe her loathing of him.
She assumes that she will now have to be a witness in court when the time comes. She will presumably be asked about her relationship with Ramsey. She will be under oath and it does not take having a lawyer for a partner to know the implication of that. If she were to lie, it would be perjury. If she does not, she is facing public exposure.
Now there is this – the Journal Daily. It is already a set of allegations in the public domain. The Journal Daily might only be a right wing tabloid, but the great British public do not exactly discriminate when it comes to sensational reporting. Whether something is said or just inferred does not matter – the reader takes it as fact. She can only hope that she has a bigger following and a broader reputation than anything that one tabloid can do by way of damage to her.
After Jonathon leaves her flat, Susan contemplates the future. She muses that, were she a man in similar circumstances, the situation would be entirely different. It is just the way of the world for a man to have an affair with a woman, married or not. Married men in higher profile positions than hers – politicians, world leaders, celebrities – survive this sort of thing. She might not. And she might not, precisely because she is a high profile woman. This is also the way of the world.
But Susan Blakely is not one to fall on her sword, she decides. She is going to fight to survive and not only to survive, to win. That is her first decision.
Her mind moves to the other things that matter to her in addition to her career. Her personal freedom is one thing, but does that have to include her sexual freedom? Bill matters. Can all of this be reconciled? If it can, she might at least live some sort of coherent life on her own terms.
Alberto comes to mind. He has not come to see her again but has sent a hand written note to say that he is returning to Italy and would like to see her on his next business trip to the city. He will contact her on his return. She decides that she will not see him, although she admits to herself that she is tempted. She enjoyed the sophistication of his attention and the way he behaved at the hospital. But no, it would become an emotional involvement and, unusual as it is for her to have any feeling for someone after an encounter like that, she could not cope with the complication of both Bill and Alberto at once. Bill is the known quantity – sure, steady, safe and nice. And Linda is right – no marriage could survive the Albertos of life.
She must see Bill. She needs to discuss the Journal Daily article with him. Perhaps it is time to confess the truth about Ramsey to him and to throw herself, as it were, on his mercy. She will suggest that they go on as before, not living together, at least for the time being. Then as she sits here, she concludes that she could be jumping the gun to confess; to tell him even a part of what happened would be to fall in to the classic trap set by the journalist – to admit the allegation before you have to. No, she will see Bill and discuss the article with him, then gauge his reaction. She has not seen him since Ramsey confessed – she would like to pick his brains about the legal proceedings that will follow.
She rings his office. Fiona, his secretary says he is engaged. Can she take a message? Susan says she would like to call round to the office and to go out to lunch with him. Will he be free? Fiona will ring her back. Susan showers and dresses quickly and then waits. Eventually the secretary rings just before one o’clock to say that Mr Nicolson is sorry - he has a lunch engagement. Susan knows now that something is wrong. TV presenters have keen ears for this sort of thing. She does not hesitate. She is in fighting mood. She is fighting for survival.
She drives across the town, arriving into the car park of Nicolson and Berry at a few minutes to two. The offices are quiet but a receptionist whom Susan recognizes is on duty.
“Is Mr Nicolson in, Penny?”
“He is, Miss Blakely. Shall I tell him you are here?” If Penny is shocked at the bruising on Sauan’s face, she shows no sign of it.
“No. Don’t bother, Penny. I’ll surprise him.” She gives the receptionist a smile and a conspiratorial wink and passes by the desk before the young girl has time to argue.
She goes down the corridor to the double oak panelled door that is the entrance to Bill’s office suite. She knocks and enters without waiting for the reply.
Bill is not in conference. He is sitting alone at his desk, the swivel chair facing out of the window and a tray of sandwiches and fresh fruit by his side. He appears to be reading the financial supplement of one of the dailies.
“Hi,” she says, as he turns round and then she stops as she sees the frozen expression on his face.
“What are you doing here?”
“I thought we might have lunch but they said you were busy. Are you busy? If you are we could have supper tonight at your place or mine.” There is a suggestive hint in her voice.
She is not prepared for his reaction.
“Susan. After you leave this office I never want to see you again.”
She slumps into the seat opposite him.
“What? Bill. What’s this about? You were fine – we were fine at the hospital. Is this about that man Alberto? He’s only an acquaintance, Bill. No one to be jealous of.”
“No, Susan. It is not just about Alberto – whoever he is.”
She watches him, deciding whether to say anything else. She fills the silence.
“Have you seen this morning’s Journal Daily?”
“Yes.”
“Is that what this is about, Bill? I told you about that.”
“It’s not even about Ramsey. It’s about you. You and Ramsey. You and Paccini.”
How does he know Alberto’s surname? She would barely have remembered it herself.
“But more than anything, Susan it’s about lies and deceit. I won’t have that.”
“How do you know Alberto’s surname?”
“That really does not matter. I made it my business to find it. You have been all but prostituting yourself and taking me for a fool into the bargain.”
Attack is her best form of defence. It
also heralds the end.
“Have you been spying on me, Bill? Have you? You have. You have, you bastard.” She wells with anger and starts to make for the door and then checks herself. If she goes through that door there may be no route back. Is there still time to seek mercy?
“All right, Bill. I can explain, you know. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I need you, Bill. You are very important to me. I want us to marry.”
He just looks at her.
“But do you love me, Susan?”
She cannot reply. He fills the silence for her.
“I loved you, Susan. But I don’t now. Not any more.”
He waits, and then speaks as coldly as she has ever heard him.
“Shand found out the truth, Susan. I was not spying on you, as you put it. But Shand came to see me at the flat on the same evening that Sarah King rang me. He told me that he followed you to the hotel where you had dinner with Paccini that night, whilst I was still in Italy. He saw you enter and leave his room. He was on to you, was Shand, while I was still being taken in. You are a whore, Susan. There is no other way to see it. Please go. I have work to do.”
He swings his chair away from her. She knows there is no point in arguing. She is defeated and humiliated. She leaves, walking away from his chair, which is still swivelled away towards the window.
CHAPTER 26
She drives into the country, finds a headland by the sea and sits there alone, looking at the grey waves rolling on to the beach. The scene of the sea, whipped by an autumn gale, fits her mood. And against the backdrop of the sea, she feels small, very small indeed. If there is a nadir to Susan Blakely’s life, it is now. The one person who loved her has just dispatched her into her own emotional wasteland. Bill attracted her once – he was nice, kind and solid – and she enjoyed the early days of the relationship. She really thought that she was genuinely in love. But, she supposes, people are blind to themselves when they are in that emotional state. She does not have what it takes to be monogamous – not even to be monogamous for a stretch of time. She has to have other outlets to satisfy the sexual and emotional drives in her.
Exposure Page 23
