by Cary Hart
Contents
Books by Cary Hart
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Playlist
What’s Next?
Love War
(Battlefield of Love Series, #1)
Copyright © Cary Hart 2017
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of MJ Fields, except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976.
This is a work of fiction. All character, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
1st edition published: July 20th, 2017
ISBN-13: 978-1548696245
ISBN-10: 1548696242
Cover designed by Mary Ruth of Passion Creations
Editing provided by Dani Hall of DMH Editing Services
Book formatting provided by Juliana Cabrera of Jersey Girl & Co.
Thank you for purchasing this book. This book and its contents are the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes.
This book contains mature content not suitable for those under the age of 18. Content involves strong language and sexual situations. All parties portrayed in sexual situation are over the age of 18. All characters are a work of fiction.
SHVKW The Forever Series
Building Forever
Saving Forever
Broken Forever
Chasing Forever (Coming Spring 2018)
To After Hours Book House
#AHBH Crew –
I couldn’t have done this without you.
#mytribe #middlefinger
#coffeesaveslives
Aubrey
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN HAPPILY ever after isn’t so happy? When all your dreams and plans dissolve into the chaos of everyday life, and are swallowed up by obligations...
Absolutely nothing.
Hollow.
Empty.
Unhappy.
I’m void of all emotions. Struggling to breathe, walking through life as if a cinder block is tied to my chest. I’m falling deeper into the unknown.
Drowning.
Dying.
I’m tired. This isn’t what life should be all about. It’s exhausting trying to fight my way to the top when all I seem to do is sink further down.
Is there something wrong with me?
Can he see it? Feel it?
I told myself we weren’t obligated to get married. We chose to become a family. Getting pregnant was a surprise, but we embraced our new reality and accepted our fate for what it had become.
Ignoring all the signs that pointed to the obvious.
Oblivious.
He was the perfect husband.
Was he?
He was there when we lost the baby. Took care of me in all the ways a husband should take care of his wife. Reassured me that it wasn’t our fault, that it wasn’t the right time and we would be blessed when it was. He could have left. He had an out, but he stayed.
He always stayed.
Something was off. We were never the same after that — or maybe we were never right to begin with.
Routine.
I did what any good wife would do. I supported him while he finished his degree and built his career. I put my education and dreams on hold for him. Volunteered at local charities, kept a clean house, had dinner on the table nightly and made sure I worked out daily.
He was there for me every step of the way when I finally got pregnant again six years ago, accompanying me to most of my appointments, making sure either my mom or his would fill in when work called.
He was a hands-on dad, relieving me of some of the late-night feedings even when he had to work the next day. I was lucky.
He was on top of things, never forgetting a special day and always making the moment perfect. I felt perfect...
Until I didn’t.
A couple years after our daughter was born, he became distant.
Cold.
Late nights at work. Business meetings out of town.
Absent.
Then the fights came. An argument here and there escalated to daily quarrels. In front of our friends, family and our daughter. The fight within me was fading fast.
Distance.
I begged and pleaded for things to change.
Nothing.
The tension became unbearable. He wasn’t the same man I married and it was changing me.
Lost.
I tried everything to get his attention, to reverse the damage that had already been done, but he just told me he was working on it. I believed him.
Try.
My days were filled with dread, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Knowing with every good moment a bad one was quick to follow. It wasn’t a what-if, but a when.
Dread.
I threatened to leave; he begged me to stay. I asked him to leave; he refused to give up. I finally left; he begged me to come back with promises of how this time things will be different.
Broken promises.
I don’t know what keeps me around. Guilt or doubt. Maybe the two go hand in hand, but all I know is something has to change. I’m a broken shell of the person I once was. Begging myself to feel anything other than the emptiness that has filled my soul.
Laugh, cry, yell, scream...FEEL damn it!
I know darkness has overcome him, hiding the man he once was, but how can I help him when I don’t even know what is wrong? When he doesn’t even realize he is broken?
Blind.
Maybe it is my fault. Maybe I could have been better. Done more...been a better wife instead of the mother I craved to be.
I know this is it. This time it has to happen. It’s the only chance we both have in being happy. The next time has to end.
Change.
Rolling over I look at the man lying beside me. Full, dark brown waves of hair touched by a restless sleep. His sun-kissed tan skin glistens from a light sheen of sweat and the glow of the bathroom light. His eyes flutter open.
“Well, hello Mrs. Harris.” A slight smile splays across his sleepy face.
Seeing him like this makes me smile. This is the man I married. This is the man I miss. The playful, cute, yet very sexy man that I’ve always known him to be.
“You feeling a little frisky?” He reaches out, pulling me in close. I should stop him, but I don’t. A part of me wants to do this. To see if I can feel anything when I’m with him. No outside stress, no fighting, just me and him. The way it used to be. When we were just us.
“Well—” I begin, but I’m interrupted by his
phone pinging like crazy. It’s not unusual for him to get notifications during the night from USA Today or ESPN, but this was a Facebook Message ping and someone is blowing up his phone.
“Hold for a second. It’s probably just someone from work.” He lets go of me and rolls over to check his phone.
“Can’t it wait?” I look over to the clock and notice the time. “It’s 3 a.m. and you are on Facebook, not email.”
“Damn it Aubrey! Just give me one fucking minute.” Doug types something back. I try to look over his shoulder, wondering who could possibly be messaging him this late at night, but he takes notice and angles his phone to where I can’t see.
Secrets.
I turn away from him as a lone tear escapes.
Doubt.
“So where were we?” He pulls me up his body. My back glides against his warm skin feeling every muscle of his solid torso.
I roll over and away from him.
“Aubrey, what’s wrong, babe?”
Anger.
“Who was on the phone, Doug? Who from work messages you on Facebook?” I question, but I’m not sure why. I don’t think I’m jealous. More curious than anything.
Insecurity.
“My assistant. She recently left her husband and her daughter is sick. She won’t be in tomorrow and wanted to make sure I saw it first thing in the morning.”
Lies.
“That seems a little weird that your assistant is messaging you. Why not email you? You always check them first thing in the morning.”
“Hell if I know, but whatever you are thinking, get it out of your head.” He cups my face, bringing my eyes up to his. “I think she was overwhelmed and couldn’t think. That’s it. Nothing more.”
Excuses.
“Doug, I can’t do this. I’m not happy. You aren’t happy and our daughter is suffering. It’s changing us. I want a divorce.”
Scared.
Relieved.
Shocked.
“OK.”
Breathe.
Nine months later
Aubrey
“GET YOUR ASS OUT of bed, skank.” Niki’s voice carries into the room before she physically makes an appearance. She sets something down on my dresser then flips on the lights and pulls the comforter and sheets off me in one swift move.
“Seriously? I will cut a bitch for coming in here, waking me—”
“Calm your tits, I got coffee.” After going back to the dresser she stalks over to me, handing me what I hope is my favorite.
After examining the cup, I finally bring it up to my lips, squinting my eyes, silently praying it’s cooled off enough for me to take a sip.
“For fuck’s sake.” Stealing the cup from my hands she takes a gulp. I would say sip, but Niki and coffee, she doesn’t sip. She gulps. It doesn’t matter how hot it is. She will risk her taste buds for a quick fix.
Rolling her eyes, she leaves the room.
“Hey!” I shout after her, weighing how important that cup of coffee is to me. Do I actually get up and fight to win it back or pick up the blankets from the floor and snuggle back into bed?
Deciding on the latter, I crawl down to the end of the bed, grabbing for the covers to spare myself the taunting that will ensue once she sees my granny panties.
“Seriously?” Niki questions while propping herself against the door frame.
“What?” I grab the covers and then quickly fall back into the pillows. “I’m c-cold,” my voice is muffled from the comforter blanketing my face.
“You’re old? Yeah, well. We all can’t be as young and hot as me,” Niki says with an evil laugh. She knew what I said.
Bitch!
“Oh, now I’m a bitch.” I hear her coming toward me. “Such a bitch I went downstairs to put two ice cubes in your cup to ruin a perfectly made Venti white-chocolate latte with nonfat milk, but with whip?’
Flinging the covers off my face. “I said that out loud?”
Giving me the stink eye, she pushes the coffee into my face. “Drink up, Princess! Someone needs to get nice.”
Giving it right back, I stare her down before taking the cup from her hands. I trust she really did do as she said and I won’t lose my taste buds today.
Not today!
“Mmmm! This is sooo good. Thanks Nik, I needed that.”
“No kidding.” Nik nods, making her way toward the window and throwing me a sassy look over her shoulder.
“Ohhhh you wouldn’t.”
The curtains fly open exposing me to the morning light, disrupting any kind thoughts I had.
“Now I’m a bitch! Get your ass up! Today is the day. Can the real Aubrey Harris stand up?” She giggles, knowing I’m going to have the Eminem song “The Real Slim Shady” in my head.
“You’re not right.”
“Babe, we know this. Don’t fight it, just go with it.” Plopping down on the bed, jolting me in the process, she proceeds to make herself comfortable. “Can you hand me that?” Niki points to the mug she sat on the nightstand.
“Sure. Wait, you got me Starbucks but you fixed a K-Cup here?” I give her a puzzled look.
“Hell no! I downed that bitch by the time I pulled into the driveway. This is cup two for me.” She raises the mug into the air, smiles and downs the rest.
“Nik, thank you. You always know what I need.”
“Glad you think so.” She grabs hold of my arm, almost causing me to spill my drink. “Now, get up. We have big plans today.”
“I don’t want to do anything today,” I whine.
“Babe, I don’t care. I’m not letting you drown your sorrows by yourself. We are going out and considering these things...” She smacks her hand down on my leg and rubs back and forth. “Are so spikey they could be considered weapons of mass destruction, I’m going to say we need to start now.” She tries to shove me out of the bed and points to the bathroom. “Go! Shower, shave and take care of all the things where things may grow, if you know what I mean.” She winks.
“What kind of plans?” I avoid her demands.
“We are going out tonight,” she says with so much enthusiasm, I’m out of energy just listening to her.
“NO! No going out!” I’m not going to budge.
“Aubrey.” Pity is written all over her face. “It’s been nine months since you made the decision. It’s been six long months of finalizing the divorce and I know it’s been hard for you.”
“Don’t. Don’t feel pity for me.”
“I don’t feel pity. I’m so proud of you for making a decision. You have lived the last couple of years miserable.”
“Yeah. Some decision. I’m single and alone, my daughter is gone all weekend and all I want is for her to be here, with me.”
“Girl, come here.” She pulls me in for a hug. “You got this. Just remember the reasons why you did this.”
Giving her a squeeze back, I give some thought to her plans.
“You’re right.”
“Well, of course I am.” She gives me a pat on the back then pulls away. “Now, go! Be one with the shower. Join the clean people of the world. The clean, less-hairy people of the world.” She points down to my legs as I get up and walk away.
Niki was right. The shower was exactly what I needed and the shave...I feel like a woman again.
Niki pounds on the door. “Whatcha doin’ in there? Getting familiar with your lady bits?” She tries to turn the knob, but after previous walk-ins I’ve learned to always lock it.
“Hey!”
“Is for horses!” I shout back with an immature giggle.
“So not funny, Aubrey. I expect that from my preschoolers, but you? Now let me in.”
Huffing out a breath, I relent. “Fine.” I reach for the door and as soon as I unlock it, it flies open and hits me square in the head.
“OH SHIT! Aubrey, I’m so sorry.” She comes barreling towards me.
“Stay right there! YOU are dangerous!”
“Come on now, I’m totally harmless.” She smirks
, knowing I know she is anything but.
“Let me brush my teeth and I’ll be out in just a minute. K?”
“Fine, I’ll get your clothes ready.” She heads out of the bathroom but hollers back. “But hurry. We have a pedi in about 30 minutes.”
Crap! Time to kick it into gear.
Finishing up in the bathroom, I exchange the towel for a soft, pink, cotton robe, a Mother’s Day present from Reece, my 5-year-old daughter. Pink is her favorite color and my least favorite, but I adore every gift she picks out even if it’s the shade of Pepto-Bismol.
Smiling, I tug on the ends of the belt, securing the robe, before I head out and face what Niki has in store for the day.
“I’m too sexy for my robe. Too sexy for my robe...” I strut out doing my best runway walk, but my smile fades and steps falter.
“What is that?” I point to a low-cut, sexy, red vixen dress. Too short and way too revealing for someone my age. It screams desperate divorcée.
“This! Is going to get you laid tonight!” She shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal.
“What? NO! You said pedicure. You said we are going out tonight.” I pick up the dress, crumpling it up in my hand. Yes, it’s that short it fits in one of my hands. “I just assumed dinner and drinks.”
“Babe, you assumed wrong.” She cautiously approaches me and pries one finger at a time away from the garment. “Now, give me this dress before we have to make another stop at the dry cleaners to get it pressed.”
Panic sets in. My breathing starts to increase, making it hard to catch my breath. “I can’t.”
“Breathe, Aubrey. Just breathe, babe.” Her voice is soft and reassuring as she rubs my back, trying to bring me back to a calm state.
“Nik, I can’t do this. Please. I’m not ready.”
Uncertainty.
“OK, you don’t have to get laid. Honestly, I was just kidding around, but you do need to get out and get your confidence back. I figured this dress would give you just that, and if you happened to go home with someone, that would just be an added bonus.”
“I got divorced to be happy, so he could be happy. Not to go out and find his replacement or a quick lay.”
“Well, who said it had to be quick?”
“NIKI!”
“OK, OK, I get it. Let’s just take baby steps today. First pedicures and then tonight it will just be me, you and Gavin. Nothing we haven’t done in the past couple of months. Just dinner and drinks at Spotlight.”
