Sighing, she continued, “He’s a gambler, is leaving again tomorrow for a poker game on Christmas Day, and let it be known he’s not interested in marrying anyone. But his return gave me something I’ve been missing.”
She lifted the locket and pressed her lips to the picture. “Thank you. Thank you for so many things that I took for granted. For the advice that I never heeded, for the love you gave so unconditionally.” Reaching over to set the locket on the table next to the bed, her hand stalled. Wrapping her fingers around the locket, she climbed out of bed. “And for making me realize that the past is in the past. It’s all right to remember it, embrace it, but I shouldn’t let it stop me from living.”
There was one spot for this locket tonight.
She slipped a shawl over her shoulders, quietly opened the door and then crept down the hall and stairway on her tiptoes so the boards wouldn’t creak.
As she rounded the doorway from the kitchen to the parlor, she had to stop and stare in awe. The moonlight, reflecting off the snow outside, shone through the window and caught on the glass ornaments, making the entire tree glisten and sparkle. It was beyond stunning, beyond beautiful.
“Sneaked down for another peek?”
She couldn’t stop the smile that sprang onto her lips at the sound of his voice. Welles may not be in love with her, but somehow, right now, that was all right. Maybe the day would come when she wouldn’t love him, either. That thought made her sad. She’d loved him for so long, not loving would be as wrong as not loving Chester. Which would never happen.
“I want to hang the locket on the tree,” she whispered. “It seems the fitting place.”
“It does.” He stepped around her. “Need help?”
He had on clothes, but his shirt was unbuttoned, as if thrown on quickly, and there were no socks on his feet.
“Yes, if you don’t mind. Right up there by the angel.”
He hooked a hand around her elbow. “That’s what I was thinking.”
They walked toward the tree, but he stopped a few feet away. “You stay here, and let me know when the light catches on it.”
“All right.”
He took the locket she held out and carried it to the tree, where he hooked it on one branch, then another, and another, waiting each time for her to shake her head. When he hooked it on yet another, the moonlight caught it, and the entire locket appeared to light up.
“Right there,” she said. “Right there.”
He stepped back and stood next to her, examining the tree for a moment before saying, “Perfect.”
“It truly is. Thank you again.”
“So, are you still dreaming about visiting all the places those ornaments came from?”
That had been another memory she’d completely forgotten about. “No, that was more of Mother’s dream than mine. She wanted to see the world. I think that’s why she ordered these ornaments from all over, satisfying that need in some way.” She couldn’t remember which ornament had come from where, not even years ago, but Mother had, and talked about how beautiful each place must be.
“You haven’t had a tree since your mother died?”
“No, it wasn’t something Chester was interested in.”
He glanced around as if he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure he should.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Why have you let Chester rule your life?”
She wasn’t angered, just confused. “What are you talking about? Chester hasn’t ruled my life.”
“J.T. said he’s been trying to eat a meal with you for two years.”
She huffed out an exasperated sigh. “Because before then, he’d made it a habit of stopping by right at suppertime. He wasn’t the only one, either. I told Chester he should start charging them for meals like Martha does at the hotel. So he put a stop to it.” Defending Chester at times had become habit, and she did so again. “That wasn’t controlling my life. That was controlling the moochers from eating our food.”
He was silent for a moment, then asked, “Have you been happy here?”
She contemplated that before answering, “Yes, I have. Even if I’d had somewhere else to go, this is still where I wanted to live.” Stepping forward, she walked to the tree and touched the little red bell. “I have land, you know.”
“I do. Jud told me you still own that quarter section outside of town.”
“It was paid for, so the bank didn’t take it, and Chester pays me a wage, so I’ve kept the taxes paid.”
Welles stepped up beside her. “Will you move out there?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Not as long as Chester needs me.”
“What about you? What about what you need?”
The impulse to say she had everything she needed here arose, but seeped away slowly. That was a lie. “Maybe when you return for good, and I can trust that you’ll take care of your grandfather, I’ll move out there.”
“By yourself?”
The idea wasn’t appealing, but it was an option.
He turned away from the tree the same time she did, and they both stopped, facing each other and waiting for the other to move. He didn’t. Neither did she, but knew she should. The thoughts that bounced into her head weren’t unfamiliar. They’d been there this evening, when he’d stood up holding his string of popcorn. It was harder to quell them this time, especially the one about kissing him. And the one about feeling his arms around her, holding her tight, hugging her.
She closed her eyes, trying to block his image, hoping that would help. Instead, what she was thinking about happened.
How, she wasn’t overly sure, but Welles’s arms were around her, and his lips touching her. Slowly at first, and so soft she leaned forward, making sure it wasn’t her imagination.
The pressure of his kiss increased, and her hands, all on their own, wrapped around him, under his shirt where the warmth of his body sent a wave of heat rushing into hers. An urgency filled her, and she stretched onto her toes, wanting things she’d never dared to think about wanting.
The intensity of his lips increased, as did the strength of his arms holding her, pressing them together, their thighs, their hips, her breasts against his chest. It was all so wonderful. So amazing.
Welles broke the kiss so fast she almost stumbled as he let her loose and stepped back. She caught herself, but nearly stumbled again when she saw the look on his face. He looked almost scared, fearful. She glanced around and upon seeing nothing, looked back at him.
The regret that was now in his eyes, she recognized it well. And it hurt. Spinning around, she walked as far as the doorway, and then ran across the kitchen and up the stairs.
What had been a nearly perfect evening turned into a sleepless and fretful night.
Although she had no desire to see anyone, Sophie climbed out of bed when the sun started turning the sky pink and put on her chore clothes. She was a fool, that was what she was. She’d known Welles didn’t love her. Never would. She should never have wished otherwise.
Burying her feelings for him wouldn’t be as easy now, not after kissing him. Even hurt and frustrated, the memory of how amazing kissing him had been remained front and foremost in her mind.
The smell of coffee met her as soon as she pulled her bedroom door open, and Chester sat at the table in the kitchen.
“Welles has already gone out to feed,” he said. “Guess he wanted to get an early start with leaving today and all.”
“I suppose so,” she said.
“Got any ham leftover from last night?”
“Yes, would you like pancakes with it?” She was trying so hard to sound normal, it hurt.
“That would be good.”
She nodded, and though there was no need to be reminded of anything, she walked into the parlor. The sight of her shawl draped over the edge of the sofa
made her throat burn, and her eyes. When she glanced toward the tree, the ornament that was hanging on a low branch had her pinching her lips together to keep the tears at bay. He hadn’t hung that card up yesterday, had put it in his pocket instead. It was there now.
“It didn’t fall over,” Chester said loudly from the kitchen. “I already checked.”
If she didn’t like things, she had to change them. Even if those things were inside her. “You’re right.” Drawing in a breath of fortitude, she spun around to walk toward the kitchen. “It didn’t.”
* * *
Welles hung out in the barn as long as possible. He had to go inside the house eventually. Not only to say goodbye, but to pack, get ready to leave. He should never have kissed Sophie last night. It had confirmed the one thing he hadn’t wanted confirmed. He was in love with her and probably always would be.
The shout that made its way through the open door confirmed something else. He couldn’t hide out here any longer.
He walked to the door and stepped out into the bright sunshine. “I’m coming.”
“Well, hurry up,” Gramps shouted from the back porch. “The rest of us are starving in here.”
Did he really want to return to this? To getting up early to feed the stock and listening to Gramps complain about eating, and most everything else? Late nights of gambling did have a certain appeal.
Something else that had more of an appeal entered his mind. He’d changed himself on purpose, became a gambler. If he’d done it once, he could do it again. “Go ahead and eat,” he shouted. “I’m going to go check on what time the train’s leaving and will get something at the hotel.”
“It won’t be as good as Sophie’s,” Gramps shouted.
Nothing will ever be as good as Sophie.
Chapter Ten
“I knew this was a house full of angels,” Annie said. “That locket hanging there proves it. She’s here, watching over you. I can feel it.”
Sophie smiled at Annie. “Me, too.” Even though she and Isaac had only been there a short time, she was going to miss them. “Pick an ornament to take with you, for you to remember Isaac’s first Christmas tree.”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t.”
“I insist,” Sophie said. “Any one you want.”
“I—”
“If you don’t, I’ll pick one for you.”
“But you’ve already done so much for us.”
Sophie stepped up to the tree and chose a blue bulb that had an angelic face painted on it, knowing Annie had admired it greatly last night. “How about this one?”
“Oh, I love that one.”
“Then it’s yours,” Sophie said, tucking the ornament in the basket beside the sleeping baby. She then picked up the basket. “I’ll carry him to the station for you.” If she was smart, she’d say goodbye now, not take the chance of watching Welles climb aboard the train, but Annie had too much to carry herself. Besides the basket Isaac had grown used to sleeping in, there was another basket packed with enough food to get them to Denver and then some, as well as Annie’s traveling bag that Welles had delivered to the house yesterday.
Annie had already said goodbye to Chester, who was sitting at the table brooding because Welles hadn’t come back to say farewell. As Sophie opened the door, the train whistle blew and again when they walked along the road that was dotted with puddles from the melting snow.
“Be careful,” Sophie warned. “It might be slippery.”
“I can’t believe how much snow has already melted.”
“It’s melting fast today,” Sophie answered as they walked. “It’s melted a good amount just since I walked to the depot this morning.” She had to bite on her bottom lip before adding, “To find out what time the train was departing.”
Welles hadn’t been at the depot then, but he was sure to be now. He wouldn’t miss the train, that was for sure.
The whistle blew again as they stepped on the platform, where Frank met them and took the food basket and traveling bag from Annie. “Saw you coming,” he said. “Hurry aboard. The train’s ready to pull out.”
Sophie lifted a corner of the blanket covering Isaac and kissed his little forehead before handing the basket to Annie. “Write when you find the time.”
“I will,” Annie said, leaning over to give a quick hug. “I promise. And thank you again for everything.”
Annie hurried aboard, and Frank, who had already carried her other things into the passenger car, closed the door and then stepped away while waving toward the front of the train, signaling for it to pull away.
The windows were fogged over, so seeing inside was impossible, but Sophie watched it leave anyway, blinking at the stinging of her eyes and wondering if Welles would return this time.
The wood beneath her feet rumbled as the train gained speed and the caboose rolled past.
What she saw then kept her feet glued to the platform. The hissing and rattling of the train was too loud to speak over. Not that it mattered. No words formed as she watched Welles step across the tracks and then onto the platform.
Questioning if she was seeing things, she shook her head, slowly because she didn’t want to take her eyes off him. Didn’t want to be imagining things.
He shrugged as he walked closer.
A wave of trembles spread over her. After pinching her lips to stop them from quivering, she said, “You missed your train.”
“No, I didn’t. That wasn’t my train.”
She couldn’t hope. Wouldn’t hope. Not even while the shine in his eyes made her want to. “There’s not another one until next week.”
“That won’t be my train, either.” He took her hand, squeezed it and then used his hold to encourage her to step off the platform beside him.
“What about your poker game? Your thousand-dollar buy-in?”
“I played my last hand last night.”
He could have left last night, after hanging her mother’s locket on the tree, and there might have been a game at the saloon. But deep inside, she sensed that hadn’t happened.
They’d crossed the street, and he paused only long enough at the livery to open the barn door and pull her inside.
Closing the door, he leaned against it as he took her other hand. Holding both of her hands firmly, he stared at her for so long, so deeply, she began to tremble again. From head to toe.
His thumbs rubbed the backs of her hands. “When I left here five years ago, it was supposed to be to buy horses, but horses had very little to do with why I left.”
“I know. Colleen—”
“I ran into her a few miles out of town, but she wasn’t the reason I left, either.” He tugged her a bit closer. “You are the reason I left, Sophie. You were, are, so beautiful, so sweet and kind, and lovable. And that’s what had happened. I’d fallen in love with you.”
Her heart, which was already racing, threatened to leap right out of her chest.
“But you were young, too young, and I was the reason Lola was talking about sending you away. I didn’t want to see that happen to you. I knew leaving would crush you. So I decided I was the one who needed to leave. When I ran into Colleen, she made me realize a couple of months wouldn’t be long enough. You’d still be young and I’d still be in love with you.”
He let out a heavy sigh. “Once we reached New Orleans, and I found out Colleen had emptied Chester’s money box, I focused on winning enough money to pay him back. That continued to be my focus. Winning money to send here, buying horses to send here. I thought all that, the time, the focus, would make me forget all about you.”
There were so many things she wanted to say, to admit, but couldn’t. She was too afraid. Afraid her hopes were letting her hear what she wanted to hear, not what he was truly saying.
“When I heard about the Christmas Day game in Denver, I knew the train would take me through
here. I figured the hour layover would give me time to check on Gramps, find out what happened to you and head back out again.” He shook his head. “That didn’t happen, and I can’t blame it on the snowstorm. The moment I saw you, I knew I’d never forgotten anything about you. I tried to deny it the past couple of days.” He shook his head. “And then I kissed you.”
Her insides were trembling so hard, speaking was nearly impossible. All she could ask was, “And?”
“My bluff was called.” He squeezed her fingers. “I’ve been in love with you since you were young, and so was I. It’s not something I’ll ever outgrow, ever get over. I’m home to stay, Sophie, and I hope that you’re interested in letting me show you how much I love you.”
Sophie closed her eyes, taking a moment to relish in the joy erupting inside her.
“I know it’s a gamble. I know I’ve disappointed you, but I think, I hope, that you already love me, just a little.”
“A little?” The amount of love inside her right now could fill the barn, the world. “I’ve loved you for so long, I don’t know how to not love you.” She took a step closer so her lips wouldn’t have far to go to meet his. “And I never want to stop.”
The touch of his lips against hers opened everything she’d buried deep inside. A love so immense, there was no controlling her response. Her arms wrapped around his neck and returned his kisses with a frenzy that could have shocked her. If she’d have let it. But she was done with that. Done with holding anything back. She knew what she wanted, and it was time to take it.
“I’ll never gamble again,” he said between kisses. “I promise.” After a few more kisses, he said, “I’ll be the most reliable, most respectable, man you’ve ever met.” After one more kiss, he pulled his lips completely off hers, and held her face with both hands. “And I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Anywhere in the world. Everywhere your ornaments came from.”
“I love you, Welles, just as you are, and there’s nowhere I want to go.” The happiness inside her was so great, so massive, her eyes stung with tears of joy. “Everything I want is right here.”
A Western Christmas Homecoming: Christmas Day Wedding Bells ; Snowbound in Big Springs ; Christmas with the Outlaw Page 17
