by Susan Lewis
‘Louisa! Louisa! You’ve just got to come and see these,’ Sarah cried, throwing open the front door. ‘Danny!’ she squealed as she saw Danny getting out of the car and ran over to hug her. ‘Where did you find her?’ she said to Louisa.
‘Down at the gates,’ Louisa answered, closing the car door and trying not to think how tarty Danny looked in her short vermilion dress and black high-heeled sandals.
‘Where have you been?’ Sarah demanded.
‘I’ll tell you later,’ Danny laughed. ‘Now what was it you wanted Louisa to see?’
‘Oh, just you wait!’ Sarah gushed. ‘They’re simply out of this world even if I do say so myself. Come on, come and see for yourself.’
As Sarah bounded excitedly into the house Louisa and Danny looked at each other, intrigued.
‘Da-daah,’ Sarah cried throwing out her arms as they came in the door behind her. ‘Aren’t they fantastic!’
‘Wow! They’re stunning,’ Danny declared, obviously genuinely impressed by the huge silver-framed photographs of the Valhalla that Sarah had propped up against the wall.
‘Aren’t they?’ Sarah beamed. ‘I just popped in on the off-chance to see if they were ready and voilà! I can hardly wait for Jake to see them.’
Louisa’s eyes immediately darted to Danny, but Danny was lifting one of the photographs to take a closer look.
‘I thought you were spending the afternoon with Erik,’ Louisa said.
‘He wasn’t there,’ Sarah answered still watching Danny and clearly eager for more praise.
‘Aren’t they wonderful?’ Danny said to Louisa. ‘She’s obviously even more talented than we realized. In fact,’ she added, as Sarah swelled with pride, ‘I’d like to buy one to hang in my house in London.’
‘Oh, don’t be silly,’ Sarah laughed. ‘I’ll give you one. These are all for Jake, but I can easily get more blown up and you can choose your own frame.’
‘You mean Jake’s already seen them?’ Danny said, surprised.
‘Not like this no,’ Sarah answered, still radiating excitement. ‘He saw the ten by eights and asked Louisa to ask me to get them blown up for him.’
As Louisa’s eyes closed in dismay Danny turned to look at her. It was only then, as Sarah saw the expressions on both their faces, that she realized what she’d done. Danny wasn’t supposed to know that Louisa had seen Jake again.
‘Oh God,’ she groaned. ‘I’m …’
‘You fool!’ Danny cut across her. ‘You bloody fool, Louisa. Don’t you ever learn?’
Louisa started to turn away, but thrusting the photograph at Sarah Danny grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back. ‘What’s the matter with you?’ she snapped. ‘Don’t you ever listen to anything anyone tells you? How much longer are you going to go on deluding yourself over that man?’
‘To be frank, Danny,’ Louisa responded icily, ‘I don’t see that it’s any of your business.’
‘Look, come on, you two,’ Sarah said as Danny’s eyes blazed into Louisa’s, ‘we haven’t seen each other for over a week, so let’s just …’
‘You’re sick, do you know that?’ Danny spat. ‘You’ve got something seriously wrong with you the way you throw yourself at a man who’s just laughing at you behind your back. I tried to warn you, I told you he was no good, but you always think you know best, don’t you?’
Louisa’s face was pale with rage as she glared back. ‘I think it’s you who’s sick, Danny,’ she said scathingly. ‘I don’t know what you’re hoping to prove by trying to come between Jake and me, but it isn’t going to work. He’s told me all the lies you’ve made up …’
‘Lies!’ Danny shouted. ‘What lies? Come on, tell me, what am I supposed to have said that you can’t allow yourself to believe?’
‘He’s only ever slept with you once,’ Louisa yelled, ‘and that was the night before he met me. He told me that himself. He told me that he was the only one you weren’t screwing.’
‘And you believed him! Jesus Christ Almighty, when the hell are you ever going to wise up? Where do you think I was last night? Who do you think just brought me home? If you’d arrived two minutes earlier you’d have seen him with your own eyes.’
As Louisa’s heart twisted she glanced at Sarah as though Sarah could somehow refute it.
‘Well, for your information I’m not seeing him,’ Louisa said, turning back to Danny. ‘He came here the night after you’d left with Erik and I haven’t seen him since.’ It was a lie, she’d seen him several times this past week. OK, only for snatched half hours here and there, but they had been precious, idyllic moments, filled with laughter and blessedly untouched by the strains of his life. She’d seen another Jake during those times, a Jake who appeared as carefree and loving as she could wish, a Jake who held her hand as they strolled in the forests, who fed her ice-cream in out of the way cafés, who constantly pulled her into his arms to kiss her and gaze deeply, wonderingly into her eyes.
‘You know what your trouble is?’ Danny said, fury and resentment making her face tremble. ‘You always want what you can’t have. No! I take that back. You always want what I have. You’ve always been the same, I can’t do anything without you copying me or trying to take it away from me. And I’ve let you, because I felt sorry for you. You don’t have any friends except Sarah and me, you don’t have any family, and because of your background you’re totally fucked up where men are concerned. I’ve tried to understand all that, I’ve made God only knows how many allowances … Jesus Christ, if you knew the lengths I’ve been to to try and stop you from hurting yourself and still you won’t listen to me! Still you want what’s mine just because it’s mine. Well this time you’re not getting it. This time I’m not backing down and letting you waltz off with Jake Mallory.’
Louisa’s eyes were big with confusion at the unexpected brutality of Danny’s attack. ‘Didn’t you hear me?’ she said tightly. ‘I said, I’m not seeing him any more. But maybe you’d like to ask yourself why it was he got Erik to get you out of the way the other night so he could come here and see me? And while we’re at it, perhaps you’d like to explain why you won’t ever let him speak to me on the phone.’
‘Because he never fucking asks to speak to you,’ Danny cried, throwing her hands up in frustration. ‘He’s only seeing you to try and make me jealous! He can’t stand the fact that I’m sleeping with Erik so he’s using you to get back at me. It’s a game we’re playing, both of us, and I don’t want you involved, because one of these days he’s going to make the commitment to me that I want and when he does he’s going to leave you high and dry.’
‘Why can’t he make the commitment now?’ Sarah wanted to know.
‘Why?’ Danny said, rounding on her. ‘You want to know why? OK, I’ll tell you. He’s already married, that’s why!’
‘You’re a liar!’ Louisa yelled.
‘Am I?’ Danny yelled back. ‘Then ask Consuela, she’ll tell you. Ask my mother … Better still, ask him and see what he says. He’s married all right and shall I tell you about his wife? Do you want to know about her, about how he treats her? You’ll like this, Louisa, you’ll really get off on this! He beats her, he keeps her locked up and won’t let her out for days on end. He screws around with other women, takes them home, flaunts them in front of her. He keeps her short of money, never takes her out … He can’t, because she’s always covered in bruises …’
‘If that’s true,’ Sarah said, ‘then why the hell are you bothering with him?’
‘Because we’re two of a kind. We recognized it in each other the moment we met. I can handle him and he knows it. He hates me for it, but he can’t resist me either. Now tell me, is that the sort of man you want her eating her heart out over?’
Sarah looked uneasily at Louisa. Louisa’s face was pale with shock, but nevertheless there was a flicker of doubt in her eyes.
‘So where’s his wife now?’ she said, still sounding angry, but obviously shaken.
‘How the hell do I kn
ow? Ask him!’
‘Why haven’t you asked him?’
‘Because I don’t care where she is. I don’t get myself all screwed up over things that don’t matter the way you do.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Sarah interrupted, ‘but none of this is making any sense. To begin with why would Jake be bothering with Louisa if, as you say, he’s already got a wife and on top of that he’s got you too?’
‘Is he sleeping with her?’ Danny demanded, her livid eyes blazing the challenge. ‘Tell me, is he screwing her?’
Both Louisa and Sarah were silent.
‘You see!’ Danny cried triumphantly. ‘And why would he when he’s getting all he wants from me?’
‘But if he’s the kind of man you say he is I don’t understand why you …’
‘That’s just it! Neither of you understands what kind of man he is. But I do. And that’s why I’m telling you to back off, Louisa. Just leave him alone.’
‘But it’s him who won’t leave her alone!’ Sarah cried.
‘Jesus Christ!’ Danny seethed. ‘How many times do I have to tell you? He’s playing us off against each other. He’s using her to make me jealous.’
‘I’m sorry, but it still doesn’t make any sense,’ Sarah said. ‘Why use Louisa when he’s got a wife he can make you jealous with? And why should he want to make you jealous, anyway?’
‘I told you, because of Erik!’ Danny seethed as though speaking to an idiot.
Sarah still looked baffled.
‘You’re lying, Danny,’ Louisa said quietly. ‘Why don’t you just come clean and admit that Jake doesn’t want you and that’s what you can’t stand – not that he wants me, but that he doesn’t want you.’
For one fleeting moment Danny looked as if she might lash out with her fists. ‘If that were true, then why is he sleeping with me and not with you?’ she spat.
‘Is he sleeping with you?’ Louisa said, her eyes boring into Danny’s. ‘He says it only happened that once.’
‘And you believe him because that’s what you want to believe. Because in that sick, fucked-up brain of yours you know he’s a bastard and that’s what you want, isn’t it? Someone to hurt you, someone to punish you for something you haven’t even done. Well, if it were anyone else I’d tell you to get on with it, I’d tell you to go right ahead and get yourself abused, because I’m sick to death of bailing you out, of having to lay myself on the line for you just to save you from yourself. But no more, Louisa! No more. This time I’m not going to just stand by and watch you walk off with Jake the way I let you walk off with Simon.’
‘What!’ Louisa hissed. ‘What the hell has Simon got to do with this?’
‘You know damned well that I was sleeping with Simon before you came along.’
Louisa looked at Sarah, and to her horror saw that Sarah couldn’t meet her eyes.
‘I never knew you were sleeping with Simon,’ Louisa said hoarsely.
‘Of course you knew,’ Danny sneered. ‘Everyone knew, but you needed a shoulder to cry on, needed someone who could treat you halfway decently after that moron you’d got yourself mixed up with, so I bowed out and let you have Simon. It was all the same to me, he never really meant anything to me, so why not let you have him? But it’s not going to happen this time, Louisa. Believe you me, you’re not going to have Jake.’
‘I don’t want Jake,’ Louisa said through clenched teeth. ‘You can have him and his wife and whatever else he’s hiding. And shall I tell you why? Because I don’t want anything that’s been touched by you.’
‘Now come on, let’s calm things down here before they really get out of hand,’ Sarah interceded. ‘I think I’ve got the measure of what’s going on now and Danny, you’re out of order. Well out of order.’
‘Me!’ Danny screamed. ‘How can you say that when you know yourself what she’s like. You’ve seen the way she always tries to steal the limelight from me. She struts around like Miss High and Mighty the successful writer when we both know she’d still be nobody if it weren’t for me. It was my name that took that series to the top and it was me who got her where she is now.’
Louisa gasped.
‘Danny, it was the series that made your name,’ Sarah said in a low, angry voice.
‘Christ, will you listen to yourself, Sarah!’ Danny yelled. ‘She’s got you believing it now. She’s come between us so many times in the past and she’s doing it again. She puts on that Little Orphan Annie look and everyone feels sorry for her and rushes to her defence. I thought you were brighter than that, Sarah, I thought you of all people could see straight through it.’
‘Danny, this kind of jealousy just isn’t healthy,’ Sarah warned.
‘Jealousy! You’re accusing me of jealousy, when it’s her who’s so damned eaten up with it …’
‘Danny stop it!’ Sarah snapped. ‘Stop right now because I’ve had about as much as I can take. Louisa’s told you that she’s not seeing Jake any more, so he’s yours to do with as you please. But I’m telling you, here and now, if I find out you’re lying about any of this then it’ll be me you have to answer to and, I promise you, it won’t be pleasant.’
‘Sarah! For God’s sake, why are you letting her do this? Why are you letting her come between us the way she’s trying to with me and Jake? Can’t you see what she’s doing? She’s trying to take you away from me too.’
‘You’re wrong, Danny,’ Louisa cried, her voice shaking with fury. ‘I don’t want anything that’s yours, do you hear me? Nothing at all. It’s you who wants what’s mine.’
‘Oh, and you think Jake’s yours, do you? You really believe that it’s you he wants. Well then maybe you should invite yourself onto the Valhalla one of these nights and hear the way he laughs about you. The way he pokes fun at you and tells us all how pathetic you are the way you look at him with those puppy dog eyes while falling for all his lies. You’re a laughing stock, Louisa …’
‘Danny, five minutes ago you didn’t even know Jake had been seeing Louisa,’ Sarah pointed out.
‘Maybe not, but I should have realized it when I heard them all laughing about her. I assumed he was talking about the couple of times he brought her home, but I should have realized there was more to it than that. And maybe I would have if I’d remembered how damned stupid she is when it comes to men.’
‘Just give me one good reason why he should turn her into a laughing stock,’ Sarah challenged. ‘Because I’m afraid it simply doesn’t ring true to me. Not with a man like Jake Mallory.’
‘And what would you know about a man like Jake Mallory?’ Danny threw back. ‘A man like him has never crossed your path before so how would you know what makes a man like him tick?’
‘OK, then tell me.’
‘Tell you why he ridicules her? OK, I will. He does it because he knows she fell for him the minute she set eyes on him and it amuses him to encourage her. That’s the kind of man he is. I’ve tried to protect her from it, I tried to tell her what he’s like, but she wouldn’t listen. He’s not the man for her, no matter how much she might like to fool herself he is. He’s just screwing around with her head and she doesn’t have what it takes to handle someone like that. All she can do is write about it!’
‘How dare you belittle her talent like that when it’s what made you who you are?’ Sarah cried.
‘I’m not taking the responsibility for turning her into a fucking monster,’ Louisa shouted. ‘And if Jake’s screwing up anyone’s head around here it seems to me it’s yours, Danny! And why do you have to have him when you’ve got Erik? When you’ve got any other man you lay eyes on? Why does it have to be the man who wants me?’
‘There she goes again!’ Danny screamed in frustration. ‘Can’t you get it into your thick head that he doesn’t want you?’
‘Then what are you so afraid of?’ Sarah demanded.
Danny stared at her breathlessly, her exquisite face taut with rage. ‘I can see there’s no getting through to you two,’ she said bitterly. ‘She�
�s got you on her side and you’re just not prepared to listen to what I’m telling you.’
‘If it made any sense we would,’ Louisa said, biting out the words.
‘OK,’ Danny said, forcing herself to calm down. ‘OK, let’s try it again. I’ll concede that he might find you attractive, that one of these days when he’s got you to the point of begging for it, he’ll probably screw you and you, just like I did the first time, will think it’s the screw of the century. But after that it changes, believe you me, it changes and that’s what I’ve been trying to protect you from. I can stand the violence, but you can’t. I’ve got Erik to put me back together, but you haven’t. And even if, in his own sick way, he did fall for you, Louisa, he’s still married. He’s got a wife, do you hear me? So it’s no good going on thinking that one of these days he’s going to sweep you off your feet and run with you to the nearest church, because it isn’t going to happen.’
‘I know that,’ Louisa said, her voice still clipped. ‘He’s told me himself that there can’t be any future between us.’
‘But you don’t believe him, do you?’
‘Yes, I believe him.’
Danny was shaking her head. ‘No, I don’t think you do.’
‘I don’t give a damn what you think,’ Louisa bristled.
‘I know you don’t, you’ve more than proved that.’
‘Look, come on, let’s try to be grown up and rational about this,’ Sarah said. ‘It seems perfectly obvious to me that he’s lying to you both …’
‘To her! Not to me!’ Danny interrupted. ‘Everyone’s lying to her and why shouldn’t they when she lies to herself the way she does?’
‘She doesn’t,’ Sarah countered. ‘She’s as aware as you are that there’s more to Jake Mallory than meets the eye. She knows how likely she is to be hurt, she’s the one who’s faced that and …’
‘Let’s just drop it!’ Louisa said, cutting Sarah short.
‘Yes, let’s just push it under the carpet, pretend it’s not happening, shall we?’ Danny said sarcastically. ‘Let’s not face the truth because the truth doesn’t fit into your story, does it? You want us all to play by your rules, you want to write our lives and have us all behave the way you want us to. Well, this is real life, Louisa. We’re none of us a part of your fantasy world, not me, not Sarah, not Jake. We’re real. We …’
