“You give yourself too much credit.” Eleni had so much pride, and I didn’t think she would want her father to know the impact he’d had on her life.
“If you love her, you will come and see me, Damon. Before it is too late.”
“Too late? What are you talking about?” When he surrendered to another coughing spasm, I understood. “You’re sick?”
“The doctors tell me I have a few more days at most. That is why I have been trying to get in touch with my Eleni.”
I wanted to tell him that she hadn’t been his Eleni in years, if ever, but it seemed cruel to remind a man on his deathbed that he had no one. Or so I assumed. For all I knew, he could have started a new family and built a new life after his wife and daughter had left him.
“Damon? Are you still there?”
“Yes.” I pinched the bridge of my nose when a headache closed in on me. “I don’t know why you need to see me, Mr. Litras. If you need to get a message to Eleni, perhaps you could write a letter or send her an email?”
“We both know she would never read it.”
I suspected he was right. “But—”
“Damon, I owe this to you and to her.”
“I don’t follow.”
“Maybe if I can help you understand what happened when Eleni was a child, you will one day be able to help her understand. She may not be willing to hear anything about me now, but maybe someday, hmm?”
If my time in therapy had taught me one thing, it was that you can’t move around pain. You have to move through it, and Eleni had been trying to avoid facing her painful childhood for a long time. “Where are you?”
“I’m at the hospice in Long Island City.”
“Hospice? You’re not in a hospital?”
“There was nothing more they could do for me. They would have sent me home to die, but since there was no one there to take care of me… I had to come here.”
“Do you mind if I ask…?”
“Lung cancer. The doctor told me those damn cigarettes would kill me one day, but I was too stubborn to listen.”
I wondered how Eleni would feel if she knew her father was running out of time. Would she want to have just one more conversation with him? Could she find it in her heart to forgive him, knowing it was her last chance?
“I’m out of town right now. I hope to be back by tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I could come see you then?” I still didn’t know if it was a good idea, but if Eleni didn’t have the chance to see her father before he died, I wanted to be able to pass along his final message to her, assuming she was open to hearing it.
“I hope you are not too late. You have no idea how important it is to me to get this message to my daughter and to help you understand why…” He cleared his throat. “I cannot get into that over the phone. I hope to see you tomorrow, Damon. Thank you.”
Long after he’d disconnected the call, I heard his words echo in my head. “I hope to see you tomorrow.” He wasn’t sure whether he would be alive to greet me. I had the sense this could be one of the most important meetings of my life. With a quick text to my realtor to try to bump up our showings, I settled back in my seat and tried to imagine what I might face when I walked in on Mr. Litras tomorrow.
Chapter Twenty
Eleni
I squealed when I opened my apartment door to find my best friend on the other side. “What are you doing here? You guys weren’t supposed to come home until Sunday.” I squeezed Mia before pulling her inside.
“Deacon had a business crisis,” she said, rolling her eyes. “He promised he’d make it up to me.”
I supposed when you ran a multi-billion-dollar business, a day without a crisis was a rarity. “You look gorgeous,” I said, admiring her tan. “I’m so jealous.” I grabbed her hand and led her into the living room of the small apartment we’d shared before she and Deacon had gotten engaged. “Tell me everything. Did you have a fabulous time?”
“Belize was gorgeous,” she said, smiling. “The weather was perfect, and my husband treated me like a queen.”
I felt a sharp stab of envy, which I told myself was ridiculous. I wasn’t jealous of Mia or the relationship she and Deacon had. No one deserved happiness more, and I was thrilled Mia was finally getting the life she’d always dreamt of with the man of her dreams.
“Hey, are you okay?” Mia asked, her brows knitting with concern as she rubbed my arm.
“I’m fine.” I plastered on a camera-worthy smile. “How did Rosie like staying with your parents? Did she behave herself? I wish I could have kept her here, but I’ve been working almost nonstop since you left. I swear I’ve barely had a—”
“Why are you babbling?”
I should have known Mia would see right through my façade. “What?”
“Something’s wrong.” She led me to the couch and claimed the seat beside me. “Is it Damon? Did something happen while we were away?”
When I looked away, she swore softly, which was so out-of-character for my straight-laced friend that I had to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded, glaring at me. “I’m going to kill that man! I warned him if he did anything to hurt you, he’d be answering to me.”
“He didn’t do anything.” I didn’t want Deacon and Mia to blame Damon for something that was my fault. “I did. I ended it.”
“Why?” Mia’s shoulders slumped. “Don’t tell me he was just like all the rest, because we both know he was different. You’re in love with that man, El. How could you let him go?”
“I had to let him go…” The words still stung, even though I’d been chanting them in my head ever since Damon had walked out the door. “For his sake.” Before Mia could fire off a million questions, I said, “You’re right. I do love him.”
“Then how can you—”
“I love him enough to let him go. I can’t be what he needs.” I closed my eyes when Damon’s image filled my head. I could still feel his hands caressing my body, the whisper of his lips on mine.
“You don’t know that,” Mia said, sounding desperate. “You haven’t even given it a chance.”
“I know you don’t understand, but—”
“Then help me understand.” Mia twisted her diamond wedding band around her finger. “Tell me why you’re doing this.”
I hated to burden Mia with my problems while she was still enjoying her honeymoon with her handsome husband, but I knew she wouldn’t let this go until she was satisfied she couldn’t convince me to give it another try with Damon. I had to convince her it was over, for the sake of peace in Mia’s new family.
“I didn’t know Damon before, but from everything I’ve read and heard, he’s been a different person since he returned from Greece last summer.”
“According to Deacon, he’s barely recognizable.”
I eased back on the small sofa, shielding my body with an oversized cushion. “I think that may have something to do with you and Deacon.”
“Us?” Mia asked, flattening her palm against her chest. “Why would you think that?”
“He confided in me that seeing how happy you’ve made his brother has made him want things he’s never wanted before.”
“He really said that?” Mia asked, smiling. “That’s so sweet.”
I rolled my eyes. Mia had always been a Pollyanna, but her relationship with Deacon had almost pushed her over the edge into intolerable territory. I didn’t love her any less, but I would have to learn to tune her out to maintain my sanity.
“You may think its sweet, but it’s ruined everything for us.” It wasn’t fair to place the blame squarely on his shoulders, but that seemed like the easiest way out of this uncomfortable conversation. Yes, I’m a chicken-shit. “I could have dealt with a physical relationship, but we crossed that line. He wanted things I couldn’t give him.” I lowered my head. “And he made me want things I can never have.”
“Like what?” Mia whispered.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now. The point is i
t’s over. We’re both ready to move on.”
“Are you sure you can do that?”
I laughed without a trace of amusement. “Mia, people who’ve been married for years get divorced and manage to move on with their lives. Damon and I weren’t… well, we weren’t even really together.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.”
I smirked. “That man of yours is a bad influence. Weren’t you the one who always lectured me about having a potty mouth?”
“I don’t care,” Mia said, squaring her shoulders. “I’m not going to sit here and let you lie to my face.”
When Mia stood, I grabbed her hand. I couldn’t lose her and Damon. That would destroy me. “I’m sorry.” I yanked her back down onto the couch. “You want the truth? It hurts like hell. I miss him every day.” I drew a shuddering breath. “I even cried myself to sleep last night. It’s been a long time since I’ve hurt like this.”
“Since your Mom died.”
Thankfully she wasn’t asking a question, so I didn’t have to lie. When my mother died, I’d thought I’d never have to deal with pain like that again, but fate had other plans for me. “He wants to get married and have kids someday.” I wrapped my arms around my bent legs. “You know that’s not for me.”
“I really thought you’d change your mind when you met the right guy.”
“You thought wrong.”
“So that’s it then? It’s really over with Damon?”
“It is.”
Mia hugged me. “And you’re really gonna be okay?”
I wrapped both arms around her as I closed my eyes. “You know me. Aren’t I always?”
***
Damon
After dropping Andra and Dalia at her dance studio for a visit, I made my way to Nic’s parents’ house. I knew I was the last person he’d want to see, but we had some unfinished business. He was in the driveway, his head buried under the hood of some classic car I couldn’t identify.
“Hey,” I called.
He jumped back so quickly he slammed his head against the hood. With a muttered curse, he used a rag to wipe the grease off his hands before tossing it aside. “What the hell are you doing here, Starkis? How did you even know where to find me?”
“Your parents are in the phone book.” I looked up at the modest brick two-story. “This is where you grew up?”
He scowled. “Yeah, I know it’s not like the fancy mansions you grew up in, but we like it.”
“This is the kind of home your family deserves, you know.” I should have thought that through before I blurted it out. The last thing I wanted was to put him on the defensive. I was there to make him an offer I hoped he couldn’t refuse.
“Who the hell are you to tell me what my family needs?”
“You’re right. You know them better than I do. You’ve raised Dalia since the day she was born, and Andra tells me you were her first and only love.” I was trying to remind him of how much history they shared and how foolish he would be to let her go because of one stupid mistake.
“Until you came along.”
“No, man.” I leaned on the car he’d been working on. “She never loved me. I never loved her. We didn’t have that kind of relationship.”
“So it was all about the sex then?” he asked, stepping closer.
We were approximately the same size, but I had no interest in mixing it up with him. “We were just having a little fun. It was summer vacation. She was—”
“I don’t want to hear about it,” he snapped. “Just tell me why the hell you’re here.”
“I took Dalia and Andra to look at houses this afternoon. Dalia fell in love with one not too far from her school, so I put an offer on it.”
“You what?”
I understood his outrage. I probably would have felt the same way in his position. “Look, my daughter needs a roof over her head, and the last thing I want is to tear her world apart any more than I already have. She needs stability. You can give her that.”
“What?”
I was certain I’d caught him off guard. Deciding to use it to my advantage, I added, “That little girl misses you like crazy.”
“Not half as much as I miss her.”
I inclined my head toward the house. “She misses her little brother too. You really think it’s fair to keep them apart?”
“You think this is what I want?” he asked, slamming his closed fist into his chest. “I didn’t want any of this!” He lowered his voice when an elderly couple walked by and offered us tight smiles. “When Andra came home from Greece that summer and told me she was pregnant with your baby, it damn near killed me. I’d loved that girl forever. Even though we were broken up at the time, I was so sure we were gonna get back together.”
“And you did... because you loved each other. You were meant to be together. Nothing that happened between Andra and I changed that.”
“It changed everything.” He slammed the hood down before bracing his hands on it. “When she told me you didn’t want the kid, I couldn’t understand. I wanted her and that baby more than anything. I couldn’t wrap my head around how you could just toss them away like they meant nothing.” We shared a long, hard look before he said, “But that wasn’t the case, was it? I let myself fall in love with Dalia because I believed you’d never come back for her. Andra let me believe you didn’t want her.”
“Andra loved you,” I said, trying to put myself in her position. “She was afraid of losing you for good.”
“How can I forgive her? I love that little girl like she’s my own, but I’m not stupid enough to think I can fight you and all your high-priced lawyers. Hell, you’re her biological father. I never even had the money to formally adopt her, and Andra never pushed it. I guess now I know why, huh? She knew you’d never waive your parental rights.”
“No, I wouldn’t have. Had I known about Dalia from the day she was born, I like to think I would have been there for her, but the truth is, I don’t know for sure what I would have done. I was pretty young, living the life. Maybe Andra was right to protect Dalia from me. Maybe in her position, I would have done the same thing.”
“How can you not hate her, man?” Nic asked, sounding incredulous. “She kept your kid from you.”
“Do you hate her?” This was one of the most important questions I’d come to ask him. It would determine the future for all of us.
“I could never hate that girl.” He leaned his backside against the car. “I love her too damn much.”
“I get that.” At Nic’s quizzical look, I explained, “There’s someone like that in my life too.”
“The lingerie model?”
“Yeah.” If he made one derogatory remark about Eleni, the gloves would have to come off, and my tone made that clear.
“I shouldn’t have said what I did about her,” Nic said, crossing one foot over the other. “I don’t know her. Hell, I don’t even know you, except for what I’ve read.”
“I feel like I know you,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t question my sincerity. “Everything I’ve heard from Dalia and Andra, you sound like a stand-up guy, Nic.”
Instead of responding, he eyed me warily.
“And I owe you a huge debt of gratitude. You looked after my little girl when I couldn’t.”
“You don’t owe me anything for that,” he said, pushing off the car. “I did that because I wanted to. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
I smiled. “I know you would. That’s why I’m here. Anyone can see you guys belong together. You’re a family, and I sure as hell don’t want to be the one to break that up.”
“It wasn’t just about you. It was a lot of stuff. That was just the final straw.”
“It can’t be easy, being out of work.” I didn’t want to poke a sore spot, but I had to know whether I was wasting my time.
“What would you know about it?” He smirked. “You’ve never had to work a day in your life.”
“You’re right about that.” I’d ofte
n wondered how my life would have been different had I not been born Demi Starkis’s son. I probably would have avoided a lot of the problems that had eventually led to my identity crisis, but I also would have missed out on a lot of opportunities. I couldn’t complain about the hand I’d been dealt. I knew I was lucky beyond measure. “I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through ‘cause we both know I don’t.”
His sidelong glance told me he appreciated my honesty. “I don’t want to believe you’re a bad guy, you know. I know your Dalia’s father, and that means you’re going to be a part of her life, assuming that’s what you want?”
“I want that more than anything.” I braced one hand on the hood of the car, crossing one foot over the other. “But that doesn’t mean I want to replace you. I think there’s room in her life for both of us, don’t you?”
His eyes widened in surprise. “That’s really what you want, for me to continue being a part of Dalia’s life?”
“She loves you. Anyone can see that.”
“I love her too.” His voice broke when he said, “I’ve missed her so much these past few days. I hate being apart from her.”
“And Andra? Do you hate being apart from her too?”
“I never thought about ending my marriage until all this went down. Andra was my best friend.”
“She still is.” I didn’t need him to tell me that. I could tell by his expression when he talked about her. Even though they were estranged, he had no doubt Andra was his soulmate. “That’s why you two belong together. Listen, man, you and Andra have been raising my daughter for a long time. Now that I know about her, I want to help and make up for all the years I should have been paying child support.”
“I refused to cash those checks you’ve been sending because I thought you were an asshole for abandoning her like that. As much as we needed the money, I refused to let you buy your way to a clean conscience.”
“Now that you know the truth, do you feel differently?”
Damon (Starkis Family #2) Page 21
