Gavin Anderson was outgoing, funny, and smart, a high school Biology teacher. A colleague of mine, we met while I was a student teacher at Boston High. He had already been teaching for a few years before we met.
Gavin struggled with diabetes his entire life. When he was twenty-seven, his twenty-three year old brother donated one of his kidneys. The kidney transplant failed and not long after he started dialysis. I'd drop him off at the dialysis center everyday after school and pick him up at eight—it was a five hour process three days a week. And then, after all that, his body finally gave out and I was the one who held his hand as he passed away on the morning of November 2nd. He didn't deserve to die at thirty.
At only twenty-five, I was convinced I'd never find love like him again. He was always the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. For the first time since his death, my thoughts changed. The first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night was this little shit named Jordan.
"You need a shower," I said, finding Jordan back in my room in a pair of khaki shorts and a t-shirt, ready to go. We were going fishing, something I hadn't done since I was a teenager.
"Why? We're only going to get all sweaty again," he said. "I'll take one later."
"Yeah, right. You'll just go swimming and that's the end of that."
"Come on, let's go," he said.
"Take a shower first," I said, stepping into him. He stepped into me, too, but only to kiss me. "No," I said against his lips. "Take a shower."
As he backed away from me, I knew he wasn't going to take one. He went downstairs instead and packed a mini cooler full of Coke and water. Once he was satisfied we had everything he thought we needed, we were off.
On the top of our lungs, Jordan and I sang to the lyrics of the Ramones' classic Blitzkrieg Bop as I drove down the winding country roads. The Ramones were probably one of his favorite bands of all time.
Jordan had a pretty good singing voice...for punk rock, anyway. Not only that, he was more animated and happiest when he was singing.
When I was six or so, my dad took me fishing for the first time at Long Lake, about forty-five minutes away from our house. It was good place to start for beginner fishermen. Jordan and I rented a row boat and fishing poles, neither of which Jordan knew anything about. Jordan attempted to row, but didn't get very far.
"Fuck this," he said, annoyed, letting go of the oars. I had to be quick to catch them before they floated away. While I took over, Jordan sulked in his seat.
"No temper tantrums allowed," I said, kicking his leg. He stuck out his tongue at me and turned his back to me. "What a nice tongue you have," I said, rowing to the middle of the lake. There were a few others on the lake, mostly dads with their young sons.
It was hot as hell out, but Jordan liked it that hot. While I rowed, I watched him take off his black chucks and shirt. His skin wasn't as white as it was when I first saw him. Noticing my eyes on him, he blushed, instantly bringing a smile to my lips.
Lounging on the boat, Jordan held the fishing pole in one hand, a can of Coke in his other hand.
"My dad used to bring a cooler of beer," I said. "Every now and again he'd let me have a sip. What'd your dad do with you when you were a kid?" He didn't talk about his dad much; I was just curious.
"I can't remember," he said.
"Where is he now?"
He paused a second. "Greenland...or Finland...I'm not sure which. He never took us fishing. He was always working."
"That's what Tim says," I said. He tensed a little and I regretted bringing him up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm not upset," he said. Very quickly, I noticed a tug on his fishing line, which was a good thing because I really didn't want an annoyed, sad Jordan.
"I think you got a bite," I said.
Jordan jumped to his feet, excited he caught a fish for the first time. I was probably just as excited the first time I caught a fish, too. At the same time, Jordan was quick to release the fish back into the lake. He did this a few times while I hadn't caught any.
"Beginners' luck," I said.
As he put down his fishing pole, I thought he had enough for the day and was ready to go back, but I was wrong. He decided to jump in the lake.
“I didn't think we were going swimming," I said, leaning over the side of the boat, watching him tread water not far away. He splashed me in response. Swimming around the boat on his back, he kicked and splashed me on purpose. I didn't mind since I was hot and sweaty and probably shouldn't have wasted my time showering before this trip. He held on to the side of the boat, attempting to get back in, but he couldn't without some help. Grabbing hold of the back of his shorts, I heaved him back into the boat.
"Thanks," he said, dripping wet and holding my arms. "Are you going to stay the rest of the summer?" he asked, his chocolate brown eyes looking hard at me.
"I'm not ready to say goodbye," I said, combing my fingers through his long wet curls.
"Good," he said and kissed my lips. Taking me in his arms, he kissed me harder. As much as I didn't want to, I broke away from him because we weren't alone on the lake. "I like kissing you," he said.
"Yeah, so I noticed," I said, rowing us back to the shore. "I like kissing you, too."
By the time we got home, it was close to four o'clock. Tim was usually home by five. As I expected, Jordan went straight to the pool instead of to the shower. He took off everything and jumped in the pool. I was hesitant to take off my clothes, afraid Tim would come home any minute and catch us so I left my shorts on.
"Chicken," Jordan said, climbing into the swim tube he loved so much. Lounging in the tube, his legs dangled in the water. As I approached him, I splashed him like crazy because that's what he always did to me. In retaliation, he kicked water back at me. I pushed a side of the tube under water, causing Jordan to tumble out. As he disappeared under water, I knew he was up to something. Sure enough, he tugged my shorts down and bobbed back up in front of me, laughing and proud of himself.
"You think you're so funny," I said. He dunked himself under water again. When he came back up, he spit a bunch of pool water at me. "That doesn't gross me out," I said. Grasping a clump of his hair, I pulled his head back as he went to bring his mouth to the water again. "But that doesn't mean you can do it again. You like it when I pull your hair, huh?"
"Maybe," he said. He kissed me once, then hugged me, bringing his legs around my body, which he liked to do. As I held him up, he kissed my neck so hard I was sure he was going to leave a mark.
"Hey," I said. "You're going to give me a hickey."
"Oops..." he said, fingering the area delicately with his finger. "I think I did."
"I'm too old for that," I said. "What are you doing now?" His mouth clamped down on my shoulder, that same spot where he bit me not too long ago, but he didn't bite me this time. He sucked so hard and I hated to admit how much I loved it. "Jordan..." I whispered. Moaning quietly, his body shuddered slightly as I squeezed his ass, pushing his cheeks apart. He always liked it when I did that. He brought his lips to mine and I eagerly kissed him.
"Touch me again," he said in-between kisses.
"I am touching you," I said.
"Not there," he said. Carrying him to the side of the pool, I lifted him out, sitting him on the deck while I stood in front of him, still in the pool. He looked down while I looked up at him, his eyes begging me.
"You want me to touch you here, huh?" I said flirtatiously, circling the tip with my finger while running my other finger up and down his shaft. Yeah, that's what he wanted. "Like this?" Nodding, he held his breath like he often did. "Or this..." I ran my finger over his slit before bringing my lips down to it.
"Yeah," he said quietly, swallowing hard. My finger glided over it back and forth, alternating between my finger and my tongue. I squeezed his cock with my hand as his ass lifted off the deck, slowly releasing himself against my chin. I took him all
the way in my mouth, letting him finish. He held the back of my head, bending over to kiss the top of it.
"Tim's home," Jordan gasped, pushing me away to stand up. I had never seen him get dressed so quickly. "Hurry up," he said and ran off. Somehow Jordan heard the sound of a car door open and close.
By the time I re-gathered my senses and headed back to the house, I found Tim and Jordan sitting outside on the porch. Jordan was drinking a Coke, looking completely innocent. I smiled to myself as he merely glanced at me.
"Hey," Tim said. "I hear you went fishing."
"Yeah," I said. "Jordan's never been."
"Yeah, he got this idea in his head this morning that he wanted to go," Tim said. "Catch anything good?"
"No," I said. "He released the fish back into the lake. That's okay. That's what most kids do on the lake." Jordan scowled at me because I said "kid." "Calm down," I said to him. "I wasn't calling you a kid." I ruffled his wet curls on my way inside the house to take a shower and change.
Throughout dinner, I had a hard time taking my eyes off him. It was becoming harder and harder to pretend, especially as Jordan's bare foot rubbed against my leg under the table. I was so tempted to kick him. In the middle of dinner, Jordan got up. Apparently he was done eating.
"Where you off to?" Tim asked.
"Off," he said and headed down the porch stairs. Jordan glanced over his shoulder at me as he walked down the porch stairs. I nearly melted in my seat. It was a good thing Tim had other things in my mind, like smoking a joint. I was more than happy to share with him.
"Uh...Tim...thanks for letting me stay here this summer," I said as he inhaled. "It must really piss you off going to work everyday when I'm here having fun."
"Fun," he said. "I'd be bored out of my mind doing nothing everyday."
"I don't do nothing everyday," I said. "I swim and draw and go for ice-cream with Jordan. I've gone raspberry picking..."
"Oh no, he took you there, huh?"
"Yeah, a few times," I said.
"He didn't go swimming in that pond, did he?"
“Yes, he did," I said.
"I told him not to," he said. "It's disgusting. He's been doing that since he was a kid. He used to bring back turtles and frogs from that pond all the time. Once he built a house out of a Folger's coffee can...you know, one of those really big cans we bought at Walmart or Costco...before we got the keurig machine. Well, he had four frogs living in that can at one time. He even poked holes in the lid. I remember their names, too. Alberto, Leonardo, Miguel, and Luigi. He was devastated when they died. We buried them out back somewhere, along with the hamsters and a couple of goldfish." He paused, taking another hit from the joint before passing it to me. "He seems happier lately. Does he talk to you? I mean, really talk to you?"
"Yes," I said.
"Yeah, I guess you have that effect on people," he said. I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that. "I'm worried about him. I'm not sure what the future has in store for him."
"I don't know, Tim, but I think he's going to be okay. You just might be surprised."
With his headphones on, Jordan returned to the porch and my eyes followed him inside as he hummed Blitzkrieg Bop.
"Are you going to take a shower?" I asked just as he was about to enter the house.
"Maybe," he said.
"Take a shower," Tim said. "Your legs and feet are covered in mud." Jordan shot him an annoyed look and went inside. Tim shook his head at him while I smiled.
"Say, Jamie, would you mind if I went out?" Tim said once Jordan disappeared. Mind? No, I don't mind, I wanted to exclaim, but played it cool.
"No, go ahead," I said. "I'll just hang out with Jordan and listen to music or watch a movie."
"He doesn't watch movies," he said. “Well, except for Super Hero movies.”
"We'll listen to music then," I said.
Tim took a quick shower before going out on his date. He really liked this girl and I couldn't figure out why he was so secretive about it. As soon as Tim left, I ran up the stairs to see Jordan. I found him sitting on his bed, his door open, in only his boxers. At least he was clean.
"Hey," I said. "Tim's gone out."
"Yeah," he said. "He told me."
"So, you wanna watch a movie or something?" I asked, standing in his doorway. "Captain America or Thor…” I stopped and smiled. “Or we could go for a ride or a walk or maybe go swimming again or we could go get ice-cream or..."
Jordan bolted to me, throwing himself at me, kissing me full on my mouth. I gathered he didn't want to go anywhere but here.
"Take your shirt off," he said, lifting it over my head. He kissed my neck hard, probably right beside the little present he gave me earlier. He kissed my collar bone and Adam's apple as his hand reached inside my boxers. His lips grazed over each nipple.
"Or we can play," I said, backing him into his room.
"I like playing with you," he said.
"You're flirting again."
"I don't know how to flirt," he said, pushing my boxers down. I stepped out of them and tackled him to his bed.
Rapture
Jordan
Jamie got his revenge, kissing and sucking my neck and collarbone so hard I knew he was sure to leave marks like I did to him. He planted kisses all over my chest, making his way further down. Slipping his fingers in the waistband of my shorts, he kissed all around my waist and stomach, easily turning me on. With one tug, my shorts were on the floor. Lying back on the bed, my toes curled as he kissed me everywhere below my stomach. All he had to do was look up at me and I lost it.
“Oh God, I'm sorry," I muttered, but he continued to suck and lick until I was done. This wasn't the first time I did it in his mouth. He didn't seem to mind it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He slid back up my body and kissed my mouth.
"Don't be sorry," he said. "Never be sorry." To get even closer to him, I hugged him to me, rolling on top of him, my naked body instantly shuddering against his. We kissed long and hard until I broke away.
"Please, no more hickeys," he said as I kissed his neck. "I don't want to look like a sex-crazed hormonal teenager." I didn't listen, though, sucking his collarbone like he just did to me. "Ow..." he said, pushing me away, cupping my cheeks firmly in his hands.
"I'm having a good time," I said. "Are you having fun, too?"
"Yes," he said. "More than you know. I guess it's a good thing Gina kicked me out, huh?"
"You didn't belong with her, anyway," I said, his legs hooking around mine.
"Oh really? And how would you know? We've only known each other for a few weeks."
"Because you're gay," I said.
"Most of the time, anyway," he said. His hands moved from my face to my hair. He grabbed a handful as I buried my face in his neck. I loved the smell and taste of his sweat. As his hands roamed down my backside, I kissed his mouth one more time before making my way to his chest.
As I licked one nipple, he gripped my hair even harder. "Jordan," he said as I licked the other one. Pulling my hair with both hands, he tilted my head back, searching for my lips.
"Jamie," I said, looking hard into his eyes.
"I...uh..." he was about to say something, but I broke away from him, scooting down his body. "Jordan..."
"Jamie," I said in-between kissing his lower stomach. Although I was nervous, not entirely sure what to do. I was also confident I'd figure it out since he had done it to me a few times already.
"You don't have to," he said. I know, I thought to myself, but I want to.
One set of fingers trailed over and under his balls. The other set of fingers gently pushed back his foreskin, kissing the tip. Moaning quietly, he squeezed the back of my neck as my tongue circled around his shaft. Too nervous to look up at him, I opened my mouth, taking him in. With a quiet gasp, he sighed again, letting his fingers get lost in my hair. I liked his sounds; he made me feel like I was doing something right.
"Jordan," he said. "Jordan, look at me." But I didn't l
ook, sucking until his cock hardened in my mouth. Tugging my hair back again, he forced me to release him.
"Jamie," I said.
Catching me by surprise, he flipped me on my back so my head was at the foot of the bed. Kneeling between my legs, he kissed and licked me all over in places he had never reached before. I was nervous and excited at the same time. Sitting up, I brought my legs around his waist.
"Don't stop," I said, leaning forward to kiss him and I hoped he knew what I meant. Reaching for the back of his neck, I held on to him, propping myself up, rubbing my erection against his. Guiding me back down on the bed, he pushed my legs apart so I was pretty sure he knew what I meant and what I wanted. Pressing his finger against my entrance, he pushed in a little. For some reason I let out a laugh. It felt funny, but that didn't mean I didn't like it. Almost immediately he withdrew his finger.
"I'm sorry," he said, standing up.
"Why?" I asked, totally confused, automatically assuming I did something wrong; inexperienced naive Jordan. Jamie just stared at me, not saying anything. "You told me never be sorry, so what is it?" I said. "Did I do something wrong? Tell me, Jamie." My blood pressure started to rise. With a shake of his head, he left my room. "Jamie?" Again, he didn't respond, not even with a "Jordan." Confused, angry, and even hurt, I followed him down the hall and to his room, whether he wanted me to or not. "Jamie, what'd I do?"
"Nothing," he said.
"Then why do I feel like I did?" I said.
"I don't know if I can do this," he said, avoiding my eyes.
"Why won't you look at me?" I said. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"I can't do this," he said. "Me and you and here. This."
"Why not?" I said, taking one of his hands in mine. His eyes briefly met mine as I brought his other hand to my waist. "I think you can."
"You're making this so hard for me," he said. "I have students your age."
"I'm not one of your students," I said while listening to the music that played in my head. "I'm not in high school. If you have students my age, then they're not very smart, are they?"
A Not So Typical Love Page 9
