by Carly White
When he finally did go back to the safe house to see her, she was in no better of a mood. She was getting stir-crazy.
“Can’t we just go out for a walk or something? I can’t stand another day in here. There are no windows, no way to know what time of day it is.”
“It’s nighttime.”
“Please. I am grateful for the books and notepads, but I really just want to feel a breeze for a bit.”
Grant could relate. That was all a man in jail wanted and he had felt that way for far too long. He didn’t blame her for what happened and it seemed cruel to take that away from her. Nodding, she got up and put her shoes on. “Thank you.”
“You run.”
“I know, you guys will shoot me or something.”
Mara was already outside in her mind. She grabbed his arm and tugged him along. Grant was surprised by the touch and by the look on Lance’s face, he was as well. Grant was not the kind of man that was touched. He was the type of man to be feared. Mara’s fear of him seemed to have long since gone and he decided that he liked that.
Once she got outside she breathed in deeply. She hadn’t brought a jacket and in a few moments she was shivering, but Mara was trying to forget that for a moment. Grant offered her his jacket and when she said she was okay, he draped it over her shoulders anyways. Mara pulled the large jacket tighter around her to the biting wind. It was colder than she remembered. “Can we go for a walk?”
He looked around for a minute and then said they could for a bit. “Did you do it?”
Grant was again surprised at her words. “You don’t pull any punches do you?”
“I have had a lot of time to think about everything. You will be gone again and let’s be honest, Lance is not much of a conversationalist.”
“He is not happy with his current assignment.”
“I can tell he doesn’t like me.”
“It’s just here. He can’t see his wife, so he’s not very happy. Sandra keeps calling me bitching. I am starting to think that I am not happy with his current assignment.”
“You could always let me go.”
“Yes, I could. But then I would be convicted and not be able to feel the wind for years.”
“But did you do it?”
“I did, what had to be done.”
“Like taking me?”
“I didn’t take you or make the order. Kidnapping is not really my style, but if a man puts a gun in my face, I will try my damndest to pull trigger first.”
Mara nodded, but she didn’t understand a situation like that. She was from a small town and there were never situations like that where she was from so it was hard to fathom. Grant started to roll up his sleeves, revealing tattoos all over him. She was sure that they had been raised completely differently. It was no wonder what he seen on a daily basis. Mara really couldn’t imagine it that well.
“I just want to get out of here. I won’t say anything. I won’t go home or call my dad so he will still get you off on the trial. I promise just please don’t make me go back in that room. It really is the worst.”
Grant thought about where else he could put her. “You could stay with me, but you wouldn’t get to leave without me there either. I am sorry you are in the middle of all of this of course, but it must be done. Would you like to come stay with me?”
“Yes, anywhere but that room.”
***
Mara could say one thing. She never had to go back to that room in the small house. She didn’t get to see much, a black hood pulled over her head. Grant didn’t want her knowing where she was going and for some reason, she did not feel like she was in danger anymore. He said he wouldn’t hurt her and she believed him. Maybe she was naïve, but he didn’t seem to be the type to hurt someone. Even as he was dressed and inked, the longer Mara was around Grant, the gentler his demeanor seemed.
After about a week of captivity and most of the days living in his house, Mara was getting used to the routine with Grant. He was still working in the day time, leaving her there to entertain herself, but she had started cooking for him to keep him happy. She was still very aware that he controlled what happened to her. After the first time went so well, she did it again. Now it was a routine like who went first for the shower.
The trial had been going on for a couple of days by then and though Mara was curious, she didn’t want to ask what was going on. It was hard to not ask, but any time any of it was mentioned, his dark eyes would harden and he would remember why Mara was there. Mara hated to see his smile fade so she didn’t bring it up again, even though she was aching to know what was going on. How could she not be?
Mara didn’t even need to when restless. She knew something was wrong.
“Mara I need you to hide somewhere. I have people coming in a few minutes and they are going to come in. You can’t be seen.”
He had a place picked out in his mind already and she did as she was told. In reality Mara didn’t want Grant to get in trouble. No matter what he did, he had always kept his word to her. The place was cramped, a compartment behind the wall and Mara had to fight off feelings of claustrophobia. She could hear voices and at one point she heard her father’s voice. Why was he there? Was he reneging on his deal?
Mara didn’t get any answers until they left an hour later and she demanded them. She could hear everything that was said around her and the way her father talked to everyone. He really hated Grant, but once he didn’t find her there, he conceded to do what was needed to keep Grant out of jail. There was a small urge to go out when she heard them passing. It could have been all over right then, but something kept her in the hiding spot.
Grant opened the false wall and he smiled at her with relief. “Thank you Mara.”
She nodded and took his hand as he helped her out. Taking in a deep breath of air, Mara finally smiled back at him. “What is going on?”
“Alex had to try one last time to make sure I go down. I can’t really say that I blame him, but I am thankful that you didn’t let it get to that.”
“I don’t want to see you locked up Grant.” Mara didn’t. He was rough around the edges, but there were too many times that he had taken her breath away with just a look. There was something about him. At first she had looked at his tattoos and leather jacket, thinking he was just like every other thug. But he wasn’t. Grant exuded power and he seemed to wield it reasonably.
Grant looked at her then, as her eyes met his and then she glanced down like she was too shy to hold his gaze for long. Grant was used to guile and that knowing look between himself and a woman. Mara would smile in a way to make his heart lurch in his chest, but it was as if she didn’t even know that she was doing it. She was a rare breed and the more time he spent with her, the more Grant knew she was different than all of the rest. He also started to realize how much he needed different in his life.
The problem was that he had spent so much time alone with her the last week. He had not had a chance to go tend to some of his more basic needs. When she looked at him with that smile, Grant pulled her to him and started to kiss her before he realized what he was doing. Mara’s hands were against his chest, pushing him back as she broke the kiss after a moment.
Mara’s first reaction was to join in, her own needs untended for longer than normal. His lips felt soft, his tongue insistent as it pushed into her mouth. Mara was panting as she pulled away. Her blue eyes looked up into his. She didn’t say anything, moving back. It instantly upset Grant, the idea that he was pushing himself on her was never his intention.
“I’m sorry Mara. It was just the way you looked. I couldn’t help myself.”
“It’s fine, really.” She was looking down, no longer able to look at him. The kiss had made her heart beat harder, breath come a little faster, but he was already sorry for it. Having to follow suit, Mara just nodded her head and started to walk back to the table.
“I really am sorry Mara.”
“It’s fine, really.” She couldn’t understand why he kep
t apologizing for something that felt so good.
“I will never push myself on you. I’m not like that.” Grant was afraid that he had read all of her signals wrong. Maybe because he wanted her so much and had heard what he wanted to hear. Either way he was left feeling chastened and guilty that he had touched her. He knew that there meeting was never going to be looked on well. He had taken her, kidnapped her and there was no way to get passed it. Grant sometimes wondered if that was to be his punishment for it all. To find a woman that was everything he wanted and then to find out he couldn’t ever have her. It was just too harsh.
They both went to bed in their separate rooms and Grant knew that he had botched it all up. It was clear by the way she had gotten so quiet after their kiss. How she refused to go down to eat with him. Grant had messed it up good and he was still laying up hours later, wishing that he hadn’t been so quick to push her.
Chapter 5
“He still loves to eat though. He tells me all the time I cook just like you, though he has corrected the recipes a few times. Trust me Gran. He pays attention, even when you don’t think he is.”
Gran sat down. “Yes, well he was always reading everyone. I think he turned out just the way he was supposed to. I bet it burns his ass that his daughter is more like me than him. I know how much he was
Mara was restless ever since their kiss a bit before and she couldn’t face him for dinner. She wasn’t mad, but more fighting herself and the urge that she felt every time she was around Grant. Then to have him grab her and pull her to him in a such a way was devastating to her senses, as well as her resolve.
As she laid up, looking at the ceiling, wishing she could go to sleep. Mara knew that she needed more than just to talk to him. She needed what he had promised in his eyes every time he looked at her. Mara had almost thought that he would go to her after some time, but he never did. Instead it was her that got up in the middle of the night and made her way towards his room.
She tried to walk softly and not make any noise. Mara couldn’t hear anything over the pounding in her chest, but when she found his door unlock, it seemed like that was what was supposed to happen. It was fate, the two of them together.
Moving into the room, she found the man sleeping and wondered how he could not be as bothered as her. When she got closer, his eyes opened suddenly like he had sensed her. “What are you doing here Mara?”
She shrugged and started towards his bed. He didn’t move to get up, but sat up more fully as she got closer. Mara stopped at the footboard, not sure what to do next. His dark eyes were adjusting to the darkness and his view burned into hers before she knew what was happening. “I … I don’t know. I just thought you might need company as much as I do.”
Grant shook his head as he sat up straighter. “I don’t think it would be a good idea Mara. Things are complicated between us.”
Mara had to agree. It was rather a large understatement in truth. It wasn’t just a little complication, but a big one. “So you don’t think I am worth the complication Grant?”
Her hand was toying with the bottom of her shirt as she talked, her nails dragging across her exposed stomach ever so gently as he watched her movement. She was playing with him and even though he knew what she was doing, he really didn’t want her to stop.
“I am sure you are.” Grant swallowed hard, watching her hands toy with the buttons on her jeans.
“Do you want me to leave?”
He shook his head quickly, feeling a rise in his body as he watched her from across the room. Mara pushed her jeans down slowly, watching his reaction as her dark panties came into view. He growled at her from the mattress and the sound made her insides dampen. Did he know how good he sounded or how sexy his eyes were when he looked at her like that?
Mara watched a hard knot grow in between his legs under the sheet and she wondered what he was wearing to bed. Her hands moved to the bottom of her shirt and pulled up and over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra and she heard the hard intake of breath as more of her body came into sight.
“Damn Mara.”
She tossed the shirt town and made a small giggle. The knot in between his legs was clearly defined and jerking just under the surface of the blanket. Her eyes were drawn to it and it made her smile to know that he was so turned on. Mara wasn’t the only one that had been waiting for more to develop between them.
Now that she was naked and he was looking at her like she was his next meal, Mara hesitated. “Don’t stop now Mara. Come here.”
His words spurred her on, but his eyes were hard to handle. If he could do half of what his dark depths suggested, than she knew she was in trouble. Before she got to him, really as soon as her knees touched the bed, Grant was yanking her to him. He was still sitting up and Mara was splayed on his chest, her thighs straddling his lap and instantly coming in contact with his own hard need underneath her. She gasped at the sudden pleasure.
“If you don’t want this, you have to tell me now.”
Mara looked down at where her fingers gripped his hard chest, the dark hairs tickling her fingertips. She shook her head that she did, not being able to come up with the words to say it out loud. Mara had come to have her way with him, but she had lost control before it even began. When his hands moved between their bodies, pulling her covering to the side, Mara cried out with the sudden penetration.
It was too much for her senses, too thick for her small body but her body started to stretch and accommodate his wide girth. Mara moaned his name out over and over again as he took her from below. She had no say in the matter, only able to barely handle the sensations he was creating in her body.
Mara didn’t go back to her own room that night. Instead, she woke up next to him. He was already up and watching her sleep. All she could do was smile shyly as he convinced her again that she needed more. He was like a drug, addicting to her senses and she needed more.
***
“What is going to happen now?”
Grant looked at Mara through the mirror in the bathroom. “What do you mean? After today, it’s over. The jury is going to deliberate and thanks to your dad, there is no way they are going to be able to convict me. Then it’s all over and we are both free.”
Mara tried to hide her disappointment. They had been together almost two weeks now and since the night that she had graced his bedroom, they had slept together. Mara didn’t want it to all be over and for things to go back to normal. Her life was more exciting with Grant, but it was becoming clear to her that he wasn’t worried about her or what happened after he got off. That was why she was there, but she was hoping there was more to it. That he cared about her like she did him. But in that moment, she realized how wrong she was.
“You’re right. We will both be free, that is a good thing.”
Grant didn’t hear the tone of her voice or the way she looked down when she said it. He was too worried about court and getting ready for it. She knew that it was silly of her to have ever thought that it could have been more. She was just a means to an end, but for a moment, she had thought that she was more.
She waited for the trial to end. It wasn’t hard to find out, the media blaring the acquittal before the defendant was even out of the court house. Mara knew it was time to leave and since it was all over, there was no need to say goodbye to him. She didn’t think she could stomach it anyways. Instead she took off back to her old house, waiting for her father to come home.
It was strange to be back in her old room. Everything looked different and Mara knew then that it would never be enough again. Her life there in Hartford was done and it was time for her to make her way in the world. She didn’t know what she was going to do, paint, write, but she was going to do something great. Mara just knew it. In losing her heart, she had found herself.
Chapter 6
After visiting with her Gran to bounce ideas off of her, Mara decided that she wanted to go traveling like she had suggested. When she had been with Grant, even for that short
time, her horizon was opened and she didn’t want it to shrink back to Hartford size again. She knew that she had to go out and find her way. Her optimism was infectious and soon she had talked her friend into going with her as well. Kaila had a job at the diner and neither one of them really had much to leave behind.
The trip was what she needed. They went south for a time until they hit the Gulf of Mexico and the two girls stayed on the beach for almost a month. Mara’s dad kept asking her to come home, sure she was having some kind of crisis from trauma, but Grant had not traumatized her. It was the way she was living and Mara wasn’t ready to go back.
Mara had no intention of going home for a while. She knew that Kaila was getting homesick, but it was only when she herself started to feel rotten that Mara even considered going back home. They had rented a vacation home in Myrtle Beach as the weather had warmed up down south, but now Mara was ready to go home. She didn’t know if it was all the travel or the convenience food on the way, but her stomach was always having issues and she was always tired.
Kaila agreed, ready to go home herself, not quite aware of how much she missed the familiar routine. Kaila offered to drive most of the way home when they finally decided that it was time to go back. Mara was home a couple of days before her dad urged her to go to the doctor, so much that it became impossible to deny his reasoning.
She went and then heard the two words that she wasn’t expecting to hear for a long time. It wasn’t a bug or a flu, but that she was pregnant. Her mind instantly went to the father that she hadn’t heard from in several months. It made sense though. She always seemed hungry, yet spent half the day wanting to be sick. There was a tenderness in her breasts and when she looked again, they were getting bigger. Mara was referred to an Obstetrician and waited for the date with her nerves rankled.
She made it, waiting for the doctor and her first appointment concluded that the test at the emergency room were right, she was pregnant. At almost four month along, her morning sickness was gone, but she still hadn’t added much to her middle. A small bump was easy to hide with clothing and Mara still hadn’t told her dad about it. It wouldn’t take his mind long to deduce where she was when she conceived and then he would know her secret. Not that she had been taking advantage of, but gave herself willingly to a biker like Grant.
