Grace began stirring in her sleep. Tommy held her tighter. She opened her eyes. She looked terrified.
“What’s the matter, babe?” he asked her.
“I thought.. . I thought the funeral . . .”
“What about the funeral?”
“I thought it wasn’t my stepfather’s funeral, but my mother’s.”
“Oh, Grace.”
“And she was dead and I still wasn’t able to get her to love me. I kept trying, but I wasn’t able to do it.”
“Look at me,” Tommy said and turned her toward him. “Look at me, Grace.”
She looked at him with puzzled eyes.
“Do you love your mother?” he asked her.
She nodded. “Yes. Of course I do.”
“Then you’ve done all you can do for that relationship. You love her. Keep loving her. Keep calling and checking on her. If she never, ever return your affection, that can’t be on you. It’s on her. Because you’re already doing all you can do.”
Grace stared at him. And tears began to appear in her eyes. Because he spoke the truth. She knew he spoke the truth.
“Oh, Tommy!” she said, and fell into his arms.
Their relationship seemed solid as a rock, she felt that night.
But over the course of time, she began to wonder. Their relationship remained close, but it slowly began to show some strain. It started a few days after their return from Happy Valley. Everything was still going well. Tommy was extremely busy, in and out of town often, and Grace was working hard to implement what Jillian called her new “strategies for success” program. Trammel lost revenue last fiscal year for the first time ever, and it scared Jillian. Tommy, she felt, now had a real reason to initiate a hostile takeover and completely marginalize her. So Grace was busy, too.
One afternoon, while Grace was standing in the lobby of the LaBoray restaurant waiting for Jamie, her lunch date, to show up, she saw something that confused her. She was on her cell phone with Jillian about yet another change to the new policy, and she was only half paying attention. But when she finished her call, and she placed her cell phone back into her shoulder bag, she then bothered to look around. Jamie, she realized, might already be there. Although, she also knew, that he was notorious for being always late. But she looked around anyway.
When she saw Tommy sitting at a booth near the far right side of the restaurant, eating his lunch, her heart soared. She smiled and hurried to his side.
“I didn’t know you were coming to LaBoray,” she said as she approached him.
Tommy, who had just put a fork-full of food in his mouth, looked up and saw her. It was only then did Grace see that he wasn’t eating alone. A beautiful blonde was seated at his booth opposite him, eating too.
“Hey,” he said as he began standing up. He placed his hand on her upper back and kissed her on her forehead. “Here for lunch?”
“Yup,” Grace said and glanced over at the woman in his booth. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“How about that?” he said. Then he turned toward his guest. “I want you to meet Margaret. Marge, meet Grace.”
Grace was surprised that he didn’t say who she was, such as meet Grace, my girlfriend or my lady, but she let it slide.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi,” Margaret said. “I would shake your hand, but I’m eating.”
“Good point,” Grace said with a smile. Then she looked at Tommy for more of an explanation. But he didn’t give her one.
“Care to join us?” he asked her instead.
“No, I’m waiting on Jamie.”
“Ah,” Tommy said. “Mr. Never On Time.”
“That’s the one. I’d better get back out front so he can see me.”
“Okay. I’ll call you later,” Tommy said, kissed her again, and then she looked at Margaret. “And nice meeting you, Margaret.”
“You too,” Margaret said with a smile.
Grace glanced back at Tommy, who glanced down at her clothes, and then she began heading back to the lobby.
She continued to take peeps at Tommy as she continued to wait for late-behind Jamie. During the entire time that she watched, there was nothing about Tommy’s behavior that she would call inappropriate. Margaret seemed like a good friend of his and he was treating her accordingly.
But it felt strange to Grace. Because Tommy seemed so happy. Because he seemed as if he was with the kind of woman that brought out the best in him. And she was blonde and bubbly, and nothing like Grace.
By the time Jamie arrived, she was ready to leave.
“I thought we were going to eat here,” he said as he followed Grace outside.
“I feel like fast food anyway.” Then Grace frowned. “Let’s just go,” she said, and they did.
And Grace never brought it up with Tommy. It wasn’t anything to bring up, she felt. Yes, he should have referred to her as his girl, but that was spilled milk now. So their relationship continued to move right along. Tommy continued to go out of town more often than not, and many times out of the country as he continued to build his empire beyond the borders. He reassured Grace that it wouldn’t be this hectic always, although he also admitted that his life had always been this hectic in the past. Grace missed him terribly, and although he phoned and checked up on her every day, especially to remind her to remember to eat or dress appropriately for the weather, she still couldn’t shake that lonely feeling whenever he was away.
And it got worse over time.
It was a reaction she was afraid would happen. Before Tommy, Grace was almost always alone and appreciated her space. But now that Tommy was in her life she wanted to see him, to be with him, all the time. She knew that had to stop. She knew there was no way she was going to be able to live a productive life on her own terms if she built her entire existence around some man.
Then something else happened. It, too, was minor in and of itself, but it posed a real complication. Tommy had been out of town, in London, for nearly a week. As he always did, he phoned to tell Grace that he would be back in town that night. Grace, as she always did, was elated that he was coming home and prepared to cook for him and to spend the night with him.
But he didn’t show up.
He returned to Seattle, all right, but he didn’t bother to come and see her. He phoned her, some hours after his return, to tell her that he was back in town and would see her the next day. It was so out of character for their relationship, where he had always made Grace’s apartment his first stop whenever he hit town, that it stunned her. And he was so cavalier about it, too. He knew she was anxious to see him again. She’d made that clear every single time they talked on the phone. But he, apparently, wasn’t all that anxious to see her.
But more than just stunning her, it scared her, too. Jillian said that he was a player and would get tired of her limited sexual expertise soon enough. Had that time arrived already? Did he meet some beautiful woman in England, who was a freak in the bedroom the way Jilly declared he liked, and he decided to give that woman a try? Or was Margaret one of his friends with benefits that he was beginning to miss?
Grace knew she was probably overreacting. It was, after all, just one time when he returned to town and didn’t rush to be by her side. But his decision to stay away that night came at a time when she was already questioning if he was becoming bored with her. His decision to forgo a night with her, then, came, for Grace, at the worst possible time.
That was why, when he phoned her the next day to set up a dinner date, she turned him down flat for the first time in their relationship. She knew it would seem to him like tit for tat, that he didn’t come see her last night so she wasn’t going to see him tonight, but it went far deeper than that for Grace. She was reasserting her independence. He was in no rush to see her, so she had to slow down, too. She had to make sure that, should this relationship falter, that she would be able to pick up the pieces, and keep going.
She also had to make clear to him that he wasn’t t
he only one dictating the terms of their relationship, and that she wasn’t going to allow him to get so used to her being there that he started taking her availability for granted.
When she declined his dinner date, however, he took it far better than she had thought he would.
She was at a conference table in the Logistics department, in Nayla’s office, when the call came in. Grace had to spend time with all of the supervisors individually to discuss the new strategies that Jillian had put in place. She had to make clear what was expected from each department head. Nayla was her first stop of the morning. As Logistics supervisor, Nayla was responsible for the trucks getting out on time, which was, perhaps, the most vital part of their revitalization.
Then the call came in. And, to Nayla’s shock, Grace turned down his invitation.
“Why not?” he asked Grace on her cell phone. “Are you busy tonight, or what?”
“Something like that.”
There was a long pause. Then he seemed fine with it. “Okay,” he said. “Perhaps we can hook up this weekend.”
This weekend, Grace thought. Today was only Wednesday and he was talking about not seeing her until the weekend? She hadn’t expected that reply, but it only made her all the more confident that she was doing the right thing. He apparently wasn’t nearly as attached to her as she had become to him.
“We’ll see,” she said, he said he’d call her later, and that was that.
Grace looked at her cell phone before sitting it aside.
Nayla looked at her. “Trouble in paradise?” she asked her.
They were knee-deep in paperwork, and they still had a lot more to cover, but Grace did take a minute and leaned back in her chair.
“I’m not sure,” she said.
“I’ve never known you to ever turn Tommy Gabrini down for any reason.”
“I know. That’s why I think I had to turn him down this time.”
“He’s beginning to take advantage of your, shall we say, puppy dog devotion?”
Grace looked at Nayla with alarm. “What puppy dog devotion? I’m not like that.”
“Not yet,” Nayla said, “but it’s coming faster than shit in a windmill. I mean, anything he’s wanted, you’ve been right there to give it to him. Jamie said one time that he was halfway expecting you to say, yes, sur, boss, the next time Tommy ordered you to do something. It was getting just that bad.”
Grace stared at her best friend with eyes as big as saucers’. All she was trying to do was be a good woman to her man. Was she wrong for that?
“I’m in a relationship with him,” she eventually said. “I try to make sure his needs are being met, and he tries to ensure mine are being met. There’s supposed to be some give and take.”
“Right,” Nayla agreed. “But where’s the give from him? All I see is take. He’s out of town all the time, sleeping around with who knows what, and then as soon as he gets back he expects you to just be there ready to give him exactly what he wants. But what’s he giving you, Grace? Other than a big dick, what’s he giving you?”
Grace shook her head. “It’s not even like that.”
“I say you can do bad by yourself. Because you was doing fine without him. You was hanging with us, doing your thang. Then he came along. Besides, you need to find you a brother anyway. Successful, smart sisters like us have a responsibility that way. But every time you turn around these white men wanna get in your panties. You’ve got to stop letting them.”
Grace was offended by that. “What are you talking about?” she asked her friend. “I don’t just let anybody get in my panties, and you know it. You’re the one who’s had ten boyfriends in two years, so don’t even trick that. I’m with Tommy and I’m going to stay with Tommy. Yeah, it’s a little rocky now, but we’ll get through it. And you say all he’s done is take from me? That’s not true, either. He’s the one who came all the way back from Australia just to be with me when my stepfather died. He’s the one who held me all night and made me realize that my problems with my mother are her problems, not mine. Sometimes, Nay, you make it seem like . . .”
“Like what?” Nayla asked.
“Like you don’t want me to have anybody.”
Nayla smiled. “What? Are you kidding me?”
“That’s how you act sometimes. You really do. And I’m over it already.”
“You’re over what? You’re the one who be telling me about your problems, I don’t just make that shit up.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have been doing that. You’re my best friend and I thought I could trust you like that, but you’re right. What’s between me and Tommy needs to stay between us. So from here on out, no more discussions about my relationship with Tommy. Okay? None.”
Nayla stared at her best friend. She didn’t like it, that was obvious right off. But she had no choice but to accept it. “Whatever you say,” she said.
“Now let’s get back to work,” Grace said. “I’ve got more department heads to see.”
And they did get back to work, although the tension was high, and Grace did see the remaining department heads. But early that afternoon, when she was back in her office reviewing the manifest for their southwest shipments, and still worrying about everything under the sun, Tommy knocked on her door.
When she looked up, and saw that it was him, a part of her wanted to jump from her chair and run to him the way she usually did. But another part of her, the bigger part, forced her to stay put.
“Hello,” she said to him.
Tommy was disappointed beyond measure when she didn’t run to him. But he was relatively certain that he knew what was going on. “Have you had your lunch?” he asked her.
Grace shook her head. “Not yet,” she said.
“Will you have lunch with me?” he asked. “We need to talk.”
Grace’s heart dropped. She stared at him with pained eyes. What did they need to talk about? Moving their relationship forward, or stopping it now before they were both hurt beyond repair? She didn’t know. But she knew she had to find out.
She closed down her computer, grabbed her purse, and stood to leave.
“Get your jacket,” he said. “It’s still chilly out there.”
Grace moved to grab her jacket off of the rack, but then she thought about it and kept going, leaving the jacket right where it was.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
With Grace at his side, Tommy made his way to the private VIP dining hall in the back of Diamante’s, and Grace couldn’t help but think that the fact that he was commandeering the entire room just for the two of them was a bit much. But it was his restaurant, he probably wanted them to have some serious privacy, so she didn’t say a word. Besides, she was too nervous about the words he had to say to her to even consider worrying about the room.
Once he helped her to her seat and notified the manager that he would inform him when they were ready to place their orders, the manager bowed gracefully and left. There was, however, champagne on ice and glasses at the ready, and Tommy sat down and began pouring each of them a drink.
“It’s a beautiful room,” Grace said, looking around.
“I agree,” Tommy said as he poured.
“For VIPs only, I take it.”
“If every man’s a VIP, then yes. All they have to do is reserve it.” He handed her a drink. She thanked him and immediately took a sip.
Tommy looked at her as he sipped, too. She seemed flustered to him, even though she was attempting to appear at ease. He exhaled. “What’s wrong, Grace?” he asked her.
Grace didn’t expect him to be that direct. She sat her glass on the tabletop. “Maybe I should ask you that same question.”
Tommy leaned back and unbuttoned his suit coat. He was tired, and had an overwhelming amount of work waiting on him, but he felt this was more important. “Is what’s bothering you the fact that I didn’t come and see you last night, or the fact that you wanted me to come see you last night?”
Grace was always astoun
ded by how perceptive Tommy could be. “Why didn’t you come?” she asked him. “You always have whenever you’ve returned to town. And you’d been gone for almost a whole week.”
“I didn’t think about it in terms of any pattern of behavior or anything else like that. I just went by the office to pick up some paperwork and then went home and went to bed. I phoned you.”
“I know. I just. . .”
“You just what? What is it? Then I phone you today and ask you to dinner and you say you can’t make it. And when I come to see you, I’m at least expecting you to welcome me back with a hug or a kiss, but I don’t get either. I still haven’t gotten either.”
“I would love to hug and kiss you,” she said, “but I can’t just dismiss my feelings.”
Tommy frowned. “Feelings about what?”
“Me and you, Tommy, and my . . .”
“And your what?”
“And my attachment to you.” Grace said this and looked at him.
Tommy stared at her.
“I’m concerned I’m getting too attached to you just when you’re getting tired of me.”
Tommy was puzzled. Was she kidding? “Tired of you?” he asked. “Why would I get tired of you?”
Grace didn’t know how to say it.
“Why, Grace?”
“Because I’m not . . .freaky in the bedroom enough for you.”
Tommy slowly began to smile, and then he laughed.
“It’s not funny, Tommy!” Grace said, unable to stop from smiling at the way he couldn’t stop laughing.
“It’s not funny!” she said again.
“It is funny,” Tommy said. “Freaky?” he asked. “I don’t want a freak in my bed. I want you.”
“And I’m not boring sexually to you?”
“Boring sexually?” Tommy asked, astounded. “Excuse my French, but are you out of your fucking mind?”
Grace laughed this time.
ROMANCING TOMMY GABRINI Page 17
