It was a plan. Not the perfect plan, but it was action and purpose after almost a year of spinning his wheels. It was the only plan he had, and he’d fucked it all up by practically attacking her in the bushes like a goddamn crazy person.
Not his smartest move ever.
That morning he’d started on the higher trails as usual. From his vantage point he could see her while remaining undetected. Keeping up with her brutal pace, he heard nothing but the crunch of gravel beneath his feet and the occasional happy bark of her neighbor’s dog, her image flickering behind the screen of dense foliage separating them.
He liked the way she moved—efficiency and confidence in every stride. Her ponytail bobbed a jaunty rhythm, at total odds with the rest of the picture she made. It made him smile … and then it happened.
He forgot about Frankie. Forgot he was following her for a purpose, that he had a responsibility here. For a few seconds, Sabrina was just a pretty girl—not the reason his sister was dead. It was only for a moment, but it carried the jarring sense of a free fall. In those few seconds, he’d been totally lost.
Then it all rushed back. Before he knew what he was doing, he took the bisection connecting the upper and lower trails, running at full speed until he caught up with her.
Angry. He was angry at her for surviving, and he hadn’t cared if she recognized him or not. If he looked at the situation objectively, he’d admit Sabrina was as much of a victim as Frankie had been. But knowing that didn’t change the way he felt, and it didn’t bring his baby sister back either. It was ugly and irrational, this anger he harbored toward her. He shouldn’t hate her or blame her. But he did. He’d let his emotions get the best of him. And now she knew he was there.
A mistake. One he wouldn’t make again.
His phone rang. He didn’t have to look at it to know who it was. Lucy had been calling him all morning, which meant she knew what happened. He hit Ignore. He couldn’t handle talking to her right now. That last thing he needed was a blow-by-blow replay of what an idiot he was.
Tossing his cell on the dresser, he started to pace, examining the situation from every angle. He’d probably screwed up any chance he had of approaching her on a rational level with his stalkerish behavior, but he’d try anyway. No matter what, she was going home.
He’d drag Melissa back to Jessup if he had to and stake her out like a sacrificial lamb in order to draw out and kill the man who had butchered his sister. But there was a problem, one he hadn’t counted on: Sabrina was no lamb. She was a lion, and she wasn’t going anywhere without a fight.
Seven
Jessup, Texas
October 1
Rumors were necessary in a town like Jessup. Gossip about who was sleeping with who and who got fired for drinking on the job wore away at the monotony of small-town life. People felt important knowing their neighbor’s dirty little secrets. Jessup needed something to talk about, and Lucy Walker’s granddaughter was a favorite subject.
Not a month went by he didn’t hear someone go on and on about how she ran away after the mess she caused. How she’d seduced her mother’s boyfriend and got poor Tom Onewolf stabbed near to death, only to get herself killed for her trouble. Speculation and embellishment were common; some folks made stuff up outright, but most of it was bullshit. She never tried to seduce anyone. As for what happened to Tom … it was that asshole’s fault for thinking he had a right to even look at Melissa, much less touch her.
It was ridiculous, really, the lies people told. Nonetheless, when he heard people talking about her, he always listened, and last week was no different.
“I heard just the other day, in this very diner, she ain’t dead. Way I heard it, she’s livin’ out in California with those kids she took from her momma. Shameful, if you ask me—the mess she caused around here … ”
That was a new one. He’d never heard she survived before. At first he took it about as seriously as an Elvis sighting—he’d been the one to kill her, after all—but the words burrowed into his brain like a parasite. What should’ve sounded outlandish began to sound plausible. What he knew couldn’t be possible changed shape and began to look like a miracle.
The thought that she might be out there somewhere kept him up at night, and the more he thought about it, the faster the infection spread. It began to make sense. Why, after countless attempts, he was never able to find another woman who could give him what he needed. Why, no matter what he did to them, he was never satisfied.
He decided to visit Lucy. She’d know the truth. Plastering a smile on his face, he knocked on her back door, and when she opened it, she smiled at him in return. He came here often and was always welcomed in. Sometimes he’d offer to fix a creaky porch step or adjust her hot water heater. Sometimes they’d just sit in her living room and gossip about small-town affairs. All the while, no matter what he was doing, the eighty-three days he spent raping and torturing her granddaughter played on a constant loop in his head.
Today’s visit was for sitting and talking.
“You’ll never guess what I heard in town yesterday. Someone started a rumor that she’s alive, Lucy. Who’d be cruel enough to do that?” he said, watching for a reaction under the guise of barely contained disgust.
She visibly stiffened for a moment before scowling at him. “My guess is someone with nothing better to do than make up stories.”
“It’s not true, is it? She’s not alive, is she?” It was a bold question but one he had to ask. She sharpened her gaze and let out a disdainful sigh.
“Don’t be dense, boy. If she were alive, I’d know about it.” Her tone closed the conversation, but he was unconvinced.
She got up to take a lemon pound cake out of the oven, and he seized the rare opportunity to peruse the space. He was looking for proof—anything that would tell him what he needed to know. He moved to the small writing desk tucked in the corner to yank at its drawers and rifle their contents. Nothing.
He quickly leafed through books and mail left out on the coffee table. Nothing. Just when he thought he’d truly lose it, he spotted it. A single sheet of paper folded around a photo and tucked into her sewing basket. He plucked it out with trembling fingers, rattling the paper a bit as he unfolded it.
Dear Lucy,
This picture was taken the day they got their driver’s licenses. You can’t tell, but Sabrina is terrified! I hope you are well.
—Valerie
The picture was of Melissa’s siblings—fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. They were posed on a set of porch steps, a woman was wedged between them. His gaze lingered on the girl. She looked so much like her sister, with her bright blue eyes and auburn hair swept away from the delicate bones of her face, but she failed to hold his attention. Inexplicably, his eyes were drawn away from her and came to rest on the woman by her side.
As with all women, her eyes attracted him first. They were dark brown. Not the right color. Melissa’s eyes were the most amazing shade of blue. Her arms were draped over the twins’ shoulders. She looked confident and comfortable, like she was right where she belonged.
Something about her pissed him off.
He brought the picture close to his face and looked for a reason this woman should compel him. Despite the smile on her face, she looked tough. Dangerous. The tingle of fear he experienced when he looked at her was something new. This woman looked like she’d laugh in his face even as he stabbed the life out of her.
He didn’t like it.
He studied the photo intently, looking for a reason … and there it was. A starburst scar, the size of a half-dollar, on the back of her hand.
He’d been there when she burned herself at the diner where she waitressed. It was a splatter burn from the fryer. They’d been swamped and she’d been helping Onewolf in the kitchen …
He looked away from the scar and studied the face. A thin sheen of sweat broke out on his upper
lip, and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. Was it possible?
He saw Melissa in countless women, nearly every day, but this woman was nothing like her. Melissa had been beautiful. Looking at her had been like looking at the sun. She’d been dazzling. This woman wasn’t beautiful. She was barely pretty. But still, he couldn’t look away. Where Melissa had been softly curved, this woman was lean, almost hard. Her face was harshly angled, her jaw almost masculine. Her mouth was wide and full. The nose sitting above it was slightly crooked, like it had been broken more than once. The feline tilt to her eyes gave her a predatory edge that made him feel uneasy.
She was different. Every muscle, every pore. Only the eyes remained the same. Not the color, but he looked past their wrongness and saw something he’d searched for in countless women for over a decade. He saw the truth of himself staring back at him.
Only Melissa had seen him for what he truly was, and he saw it in this woman’s eyes.
She was alive.
Lucy was coming. He carefully placed the picture in its sleeve and slipped it into his back pocket.
“I made an extra cake for company. Would you like a piece?” she said.
He wanted to grab her and shake the truth out of her. He wanted to make her bleed for hiding his Melissa away from him. Instead he smiled.
“A piece of cake would be great, Miss Lucy,” he said and made himself sit still.
“Coffee?”
“That’d be fine, but I’d hate for you to go to any trouble on my account.” He forced the smile to stay put when she fluttered her hand his way.
“Nonsense, it’s already made,” she said before heading toward the kitchen. He waited for her to disappear into the kitchen before he moved.
He pulled a pair of thin latex gloves from his back pocket and put them on while he crossed the room. He locked the front door and slid the security chain home. He cocked his head to the side and listened. The soft murmur of her voice came to him from the kitchen.
“Miss Lucy?” he said loudly. Who was she talking to? He turned to follow her in to the kitchen.
She stood with her back to him, humming to herself. He took a quick glance around the kitchen and saw it almost immediately. The cord attached to the wall-mounted rotary phone swung slightly from side to side.
She’d made a phone call.
“Mmm, mmm. Lucy, that coffee smells almost as good as your lemon pound cake,” he said, and she laughed without turning around.
“Well, you can hardly have one without the other,” she said, placing cups and saucers on a tray along with a sugar bowl and creamer. It made him smile. She’d always been so formal.
“Who’d you call?” He kept his tone conversational and closed the distance between them.
“What? No one. I didn’t call anyone.” She looked up at him and smiled back.
“Miss Lucy … ” He laid a gloved hand on the side of her throat and traced a thumb over her pulse. The drum banging away inside her vein thrilled him. “You’re lying to me. You shouldn’t do that—I really hate being lied to.”
Eight
Richards’s office was on the basement level of the precinct, down the hall from the practice range. The muffled pop, pop, pop of gunfire followed her down the corridor, the loud bark of an angry dog. For a moment she wanted nothing more than to simply turn around and leave. Not just the corridor or the precinct. She wanted to leave this life. A life she never asked for. One she never wanted.
Without thinking, she reached inside her shirt and wrapped her fingers around the silver and lapis band hanging from a chain around her neck and gave it a squeeze. The metal, warmed by her skin, bit into her palm and the sudden sting grounded her.
The door was shut. She could hear the muted drone of conversation coming through the door. Someone was in Richards’s office with him.
Sabrina leaned against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. She closed her eyes, tried to look bored, like she didn’t know what was waiting for her on the other side of Richards’s door. He’d want to know why she’d ignored department protocol, why she’d skipped her psych sessions. A question she had no ready answer for. Not one she’d want to give, anyway.
If the raid had taken place a few months ago, she would’ve been able to sit through the sessions without a problem. She would’ve been able to nod her head and make appropriate comments and facial expressions. She would’ve hated every second of it, but she would’ve been able to do it. But the raid happened in September. The paranoia had already kicked in, and so had the nightmares. No way in hell could she have sat through a counseling session. Any therapist worth their salt would’ve seen her for what she was: a cop on the verge of a major crack-up. She would’ve been out on her ass before she’d even had a chance to sit down.
Skipping the sessions had been a risk, one that would cost her. Her chances of sliding on this were between slim and none, but she’d rather be tagged as non-compliant than crazy.
The door suddenly opened, and she jerked her head up. All thoughts of her suspension disappeared. Nickels, the one person who could help her find Michael, was standing right in front of her.
He began to open the door wider to allow her to pass through, but she shook her head and moved down the hall toward the gun range. She shot him a look; he instantly fell into step behind her.
“What’s up?” he said.
“I need a favor.” She forced the words out and had to beat down the guilt when he readily nodded his head. He’d want to know why she needed O’Shea’s records, and the lie she’d worked up to explain herself wasn’t one she wanted to tell.
“You got it.”
She pressed on before she lost her nerve. “You were in the military, right?”
“Yeah, I served in the Gulf—so?”
“If I asked you to help me get a hold of some service records, no questions asked—could you?” The open expression on his face closed up tight, and she instantly regretted asking him. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I asked.” She stepped to the side, but he shifted his body to block her exit.
“You just asked me to help you get confidential military files. Not exactly something I can just forget. What’s going on?” he said, his usually pleasant face clouded with concern.
“It’s stupid, really. Val wants to fix me up with this guy she knows. He said he’s ex-military, but you know how it is. He could be lying just to try and impress me. Being a cop is hell on a girl’s love life.” This was the lie she didn’t want to tell. She watched her words sink in, and his face changed again. His concern took a back seat to the protective possessiveness he felt where she was concerned. She felt horrible exploiting his feelings for her, but she’d do whatever it took to protect her family.
“What’s his name?”
“Michael O’Shea.”
“What branch?”
“Army.” She thought she remembered Lucy telling her it was the Army, years ago when he left, but she wasn’t sure. Nickels nodded his head and scrubbed a hand over his face.
“What do you want to know?” He was all business now.
“I don’t know … service dates, where he was stationed. If he committed any crimes while he was in,” she said. She had no idea what she needed, but it seemed like a good start.
“Basically, you want his entire jacket. Shit, Vaughn—you’re not asking much, are you?”
“I know it’s a lot, Nick. I just don’t know who else to ask.” If there was any other way, she’d jump on it in a heartbeat, but there wasn’t.
“Okay. I’ll see what I can do but I’m not promising anything.” He gave her a crooked grin. “A date, huh? I don’t know—you don’t seem like a dinner and a movie kinda girl.”
She forced herself to smile back. “I’m not. I’m a taco stand, gun range kinda girl, but Val thinks I need romance or some shit.” She rolled her eyes.
>
He threw a glance over his shoulder before looking her in the eye. “Ya know … you could just tell Val thanks but no thanks and grab a drink with me after work,” he said. She instinctively took a step back and dropped her gaze to the floor. With his light brown hair and whiskey-colored eyes, Nickels was no hardship to look at. If she thought they could keep it casual, she might consider it, but she knew Nickels didn’t do casual. He was a long-haul guy. He couldn’t handle her brand of relationships, which was no relationship at all. He caught her hesitation, and the disappointment she saw on his face compounded her guilt. She opened her mouth to agree to a drink, but he cut her off.
“I’ll do it regardless, but the drink offer still stands,” he said. Nickels was one of the good ones. He didn’t deserve to be used. The last thing she wanted to do was string him along, but she didn’t want to hurt him either.
“I better go see what Richards wants.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you inside,” he said, nodding in the direction of the briefing room. He took a few steps down the hall before she called out.
“One condition: I buy the first round.” She ignored the little voice in her head telling her this was a bad idea.
“As you wish.” He gave her a slight bow and another grin before he turned and walked away.
Nine
“You wanted to see me, sir?” Sabrina nudged the cracked door open with the toe of her boot and wrapped her knuckles on the frame. Richards’s head popped up from the small mountain of paperwork crowding his desk.
“Sit.” Richards leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers under his chin, studying her with enough intensity to make her want to squirm. Seemingly out of thin air, he produced a piece of paper and held it up for her to see. “You know what this is?”
“No, sir.” She knew exactly what it was. Richards cracked a smile and nodded his head.
“It’s your four-forty.”
She said nothing. When an officer discharged their weapon in the line of duty, the case was taken before an incident review board. A committee of fellow officers, administrators, department shrinks, and civilians were asked to review your actions and decide whether or not they were justified. The 4-40 form documented her side of the story along with the board’s findings and recommendations. Richards continued to stare at her for a few moments before speaking again.
Carved in Darkness Page 4
