Her right fist flexed and JD shifted his stance, steadying himself for a blow that never came. “Well, see ya. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.” She grabbed the door and swung it forward.
Hell no. He wasn’t about to let her just end things by slamming the door in his face. JD thrust his foot out to prevent the barrier from closing, barely flinching as the solid wood crashed into his booted foot. “Uh-uh. Not so fast, baby.”
She shrieked and stepped back as he stormed into the condo, ignoring the honking of a horn, his ride’s way of telling him to hurry up. There would be no rushing this. He didn’t plan on leaving with so much unresolved between them.
“I didn’t lie to you.”
“You lied by omitting important facts. Facts that would have changed everything. My husband was in the Army and died while on duty. He was in an accident during a vehicle transport.”
Ah, now here was the reason for her anger. She was trying to protect her heart from being hurt in the same way twice. He decided to push her a bit, release some of his own frustration. “I’ve tried to tell you about myself hundreds of times, Rissa. You’ve never let me, never wanted to listen. And if you’re going to pin my balls to the wall for lying by omission then you’re a hypocrite. Tell me about the cougar challenge.” He hoped to hell it wasn’t what it sounded like.
Rissa’s spine stiffened, her lips compressed to a thin, pale line and she glared at him. He really shouldn’t be getting turned-on by her fiery temper but there was no denying the potent effect she had on him.
“You can’t handle the truth,” she yelled.
He didn’t say a word, knowing doing so was akin to lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite. The explosion wasn’t long in coming and completely blew him away.
“Fine. A friend invited me to join a blog, Tempt the Cougar. It’s for a group of women who lust after younger men.” She paused and her fists moved to her hips. “By the way, I turned forty today.”
There was nothing he could say since he hadn’t known when her birthday was. If he had, he would have definitely done something to mark the occasion.
“The blog started after a group of women met at an erotic romance conference and one of them challenged the others to become cougars by sleeping with a significantly younger man. It doesn’t have to result in a permanent relationship. A one-night stand is sufficient. Some of them even had more than one younger guy at a time.” She crossed her arms under her breasts and arched her brow. “You made great cougar prey.”
The words stung, bad. JD took a deep breath and thought the situation through. Rissa’s intention may have been a quick notch on her bedpost but he’d become a bigger part of her life than she realized or would admit. He had no doubt she cared about him or she wouldn’t waste the effort to argue.
Several loud horn blasts had him cursing. The guys wouldn’t wait much longer. He hated to walk away like this but he didn’t have much choice, he had to do his duty.
“I have to go but this isn’t over, baby. Not by a long shot.”
Rissa swallowed hard and her eyes sparkled with tears she fought to hold back. She would not let him see her cry. The very idea he could push her to the brink of tears renewed her temper but when she spoke, the words lacked her earlier conviction. “Don’t bother. By then I’ll have found other cougar prey.”
Her back slammed into the wall, driving the breath from her lungs and before she could suck in a breath, JD’s lips smashed down on hers. It was a hard, potent kiss. A claim. A promise. She was held captive between the solid wall and his hard body as he poured all his anger and frustration into the punishing kiss.
JD lifted his head, keeping her pinned, and stared into her eyes for several long moments. She saw too many emotions passing through his black gaze to grasp yet one came through loud and clear—love. God help him, the fool had gone and fallen in love with her.
“Don’t you see this can never be permanent? I’m forty and you’re what, twenty-three?”
“Twenty-six, but what’s that have to do with anything?”
“It’s everything. You’re young, one day you’ll want a family. I’ve already raised my children and that’s not something I can give you.”
Two more loud honks intruded on their argument.
“I’ve got to go. We’ll discuss all this when I get back. And make no mistake, baby, I will be back.”
Rissa sighed and shook her head. “It’s pointless.”
“Do not go out looking for some other guy because I will tear him apart. Don’t test me on this, Rissa.”
A fist pounded on the door. “Shit!”
“Just go, JD.”
He kissed her again, this time a soft and tender brush of his lips. A kiss full of love. Then he turned and stormed out of her life without looking back.
Chapter Nine
Excited chatter hit her the moment Rissa opened the door and stepped into the teachers’ lounge. She sighed deeply. The first day of a new school year the air always seemed to crackle with electricity.
Until this year.
For the first time in twenty years of teaching at the Bay Academy, a private elementary school, she wasn’t anticipating greeting parents and getting to know a class full of bright-eyed, curious children.
It had been fifteen days, seventeen hours and a handful of minutes since JD had walked out of her life, and she had thought of little else during that time. Today was the first time she’d stepped away from her television, broadcasting CNN all day and night as she waited for any small bit of news about the aftermath of Hurricane Alex, foolishly hoping to catch even a fleeting glimpse of JD during one of the reports. Utterly pathetic.
He hadn’t called, not that she’d expected him to since utilities and cell towers were still out in the hardest-hit areas. He’d be busy working and it wasn’t as if she’d encouraged him to stay in touch.
Her condo was no longer the sanctuary it had once been. Every room, piece of furniture and item within its walls held memories of JD. She’d tried to exorcise his spirit from her space by packing up all his things and cleaning the place from top to bottom. It didn’t work and eventually she put each item back where he’d left it to await his return.
Surprisingly enough, it had been a visit from her daughter that made Rissa finally face her true feelings for him. Mariah saw through the false cheer she put on and forced her to open her eyes by dragging her in front of the mirror to look at herself. What she saw was sunken eyes surrounded by dark circles from a lack of sleep, and the expression of someone who had lost their best friend.
“You have to snap out of this,” Mariah demanded. “Dios! I never thought I’d see the day. You’re lovesick.”
Mariah was right, Rissa had done the unthinkable. She’d fallen in love with a man she couldn’t keep. No matter how she tried to convince herself she didn’t love JD it failed to work. He was a good man with so many wonderful qualities and they fit together perfectly—with one exception. He loved children and because of complications in Robby’s delivery it was the one thing she couldn’t give JD. He deserved to have the experience of being a father. Deserved so much more than what she could give him.
And now she had to move on with her life, get back to reality. Pasting on a smile that made her teeth ache, Rissa moved through a sea of familiar faces to the coffeepot. The only way she’d make it through the day was with large quantities of caffeine.
“Oh. My. God. Rissa! Have you seen the new teacher yet?”
Wanda Weaver, one of the kindergarten teachers, held out a steaming mug, which she gladly accepted. “We have a new teacher?”
“Heck yeah. His name is Jeffrey Harmon and the man redefines the word gorgeous,” Lynn Fuller added.
Rissa glanced around the room but there were no new faces. “Who? Where is he?”
“He’s brand-spankin’ new, just got his certification, and he’s more nervous than a virgin getting her first kiss,” Wanda said.
Amy Brighton leaned in
closer, joining the conversation. “He just got into town late last night and is setting up his classroom. I think we should show pity on him and offer to help.”
They all shared a good laugh.
“What?” Amy asked. “He’s hot as hell, young and single. No ring, I checked. I am definitely making a move on that fine hunk.”
“Oh, the things I’d like to do with that rock-hard body.” Wanda all but drooled as she spoke.
Since she had no interest in hearing about the hot new teacher that had all the women worked up, Rissa tuned out the conversation, her mind wandering back to the question that ran through her mind in a continual loop. What the hell was she going to do about JD if or when he came back?
The day dragged forward slowly. Rissa found her patience severely tried by the drama of tearful goodbyes, rough adjustments to a new situation and willful testing of her authority by the rambunctious children. By the end of the day she had a raging headache and visions of a long soak in her tub, along with a big glass of wine.
She pushed in the last chair and was straightening the supplies on top of the desk as her classroom door swung open. Some of the others had talked about going out for drinks tonight but she wasn’t in the mood. Rissa turned with an excuse on her lips that strangled in her throat.
In dress pants and a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, revealing muscular forearms, JD looked more extraordinarily handsome than she remembered. She wanted to run straight to him, throw herself in his arms, but she couldn’t move and was afraid to breathe.
“Hello, Miss Cross. Some of the other teachers thought you might be able to give the new guy some pointers on how to survive the sheer insanity of first grade. Although I do have to say that I did pretty well today regardless of how hectic everything was.”
Her mouth dropped open as she tried to form some sort of response. Her arms and legs tingled and chills raced through her body as her head swam.
“Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen you at a loss for words before.” His dark eyes shone and he gave her a tentative smile. “Can I come in?”
“Y-you…you’re the new teacher? Jeffrey Harmon.” God, she hadn’t known his first name and had forgotten his last, otherwise the pieces would have clicked into place this morning. And he was a teacher? That’s something she definitely should have known.
He nodded as he took a step forward. “Yeah, that’s me. Jeffrey Daniel Harmon. JD to my friends.”
He continued to move closer, slowly closing the distance between them. “We have a lot to talk about. The way we left things—” His lips pressed into a thin line and he shook his head. “Are you ready to talk, Rissa?”
“I—you—you’re a teacher?” She was stuck on that concept, unable to fully wrap her mind around it.
“Yeah, I am. Don’t be so shocked. I’m not stupid and can do more than jobs requiring physical strength.”
No, he definitely wasn’t stupid. She didn’t doubt his intelligence. What she’d done was put him in the same category with her late husband as all brawn and no ambition. She hadn’t taken the time to actually find out if he was different and wanted more in life. “I know you’re smart, but a teacher? Why a teacher?”
“I love working with kids and wanted to settle down with a stable career. Teaching’s a good fit. I worked hard, took classes on my days off, graduated and landed the job here just before we met. I didn’t know you taught here.
“My time in the Guard was up last month, although I do still plan to work at the fire station during summer breaks.” He shrugged as if it were nothing special, but satisfaction shone in his eyes for all he’d accomplished.
Rissa’s chest tightened, her knees weakened and tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. This was why she’d held back. She’d already thought the world of JD and now her heart swelled with pride and love she had no right to share with him since she’d kept him at a distance. She had to be strong now, encourage him to find someone capable of giving him everything he deserved, regardless of how much it would hurt to let him go. It was the right thing to do for him.
“Come on, Rissa. Let’s go home.”
Home? Good as that sounded they couldn’t have a home. Not together. Dios, what a mess she’d made.
He reached her just as her legs gave out and pulled her cold, weak body into the warm support of his solid frame. “Are you okay?”
The tender concern in his sexy rasp made her heart ache for things to be different but she had to face reality. “I can’t,” she hiccupped, took a breath and started over. “This can’t be, JD. I can’t give you what you want. What you deserve.”
“Aw, baby. You are everything I want.”
She shook her head, trying to ignore his intoxicating scent and the warmth of his body. “I’m fourteen years older than you. I’ve had my family, raised them, seen them head out into the world. You’re young and will want to have a family one day. I can’t give you that.”
“Rissa, age is a number and it doesn’t matter. Not to me.” He shook his head. “Is that why you’ve kept me out of here?” His palm pressed flat over the upper curve of her left breast and her nipple beaded in response to his touch. “You don’t want to have more kids?” His voice turned cold and hard. “Or is it that cougar thing? You want to get more young men in your bed?”
“The challenge is irrelevant and what I want doesn’t matter.” Unable to look him in the eye, she lowered her gaze. Rissa didn’t want to tell him but he deserved the truth. If anything would set him free the truth had the power to do so. She took a breath and forged ahead before second thoughts formed.
“When Robby was born there were…complications, I hemorrhaged. They had to do emergency surgery. I—I can’t have any more children.” She still didn’t meet his eyes, afraid she’d see pity she didn’t want, and continued to stare at his chest.
“Jesus, Rissa. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It must have been horrible. But have I ever said I want to have kids?”
Well, no. But they hadn’t discussed important issues like having a family.
He gently lifted her chin and she lost herself in his stunning black eyes. What she saw was warmth, understanding and something tender. Was it affection?
“Sure, I love kids. Other people’s kids that I can give back when they’ve worn me out. I have more than enough nieces, nephews and cousins to keep me busy without having to change diapers or stay up all night when they’re sick. Those are not things I need.”
“Oh.” Rissa felt the barriers she’d so carefully erected between JD and her heart start to crumble. The primary justification for keeping her distance fell away with a few simple words. “Then what exactly do you want?”
“All I want—all I need—is you! I love you, Rissa. I’d like to see where that can take us. I just want you to give us a chance.”
He what? Her mind stuck on the part where he said he loved her. It didn’t seem possible with the lengths she’d gone to make sure that didn’t happen.
“Is there a chance for us?”
He didn’t wait for her to respond, not that she knew what to say. JD turned her numb body toward the door and began walking out of the building with his arm wrapped securely around her waist. Several other teachers watched with stunned expressions and a million questions brewing in their eyes. She’d have a lot of explaining to do…tomorrow. Right now, hard as it was for her to comprehend everything that had happened, the only thing she cared about was within her grasp.
Overwhelmed by his reappearance and finding out they had a lot more in common than she’d thought, Rissa remained quiet and let JD talk, greedily taking in all the details of his life, feeling the undeniable bond between them grow stronger with each passing moment.
She decided that JD wasn’t asking for too much and maybe she could actually give him what he wanted. Relax and let things develop between them. After all, a teacher was stable and fit in with her normal life much better than a thrill-seeking fireman. Rolling with the tide and seeing
where it took them sounded good. Damn good. Maybe they’d last a few months or a few decades. There was no telling unless she gave them a chance to find out.
Rissa was quiet. Too quiet! Her usual chatter nonexistent. JD watched her from the corner of his eye as he drove, trying to gauge her mood until he couldn’t take it anymore. “Are you okay?”
“Um-hmm.”
The mumbled response failed to reassure him.
“Everything okay with Robby and Mariah?” Robby was a great kid. He’d like to meet her daughter, who was probably a lot like her mom—strong, confident and stubborn with a wicked temper. He hoped the two of them had ironed things out between them while he was away because they seemed to have a close relationship.
She sighed heavily. “Mariah came home last weekend. It was awkward at first but we had a nice talk. She…umm,” Rissa rubbed her palms on her slacks and avoided meeting his eyes. “She’s busy with school but wants to come down for Thanksgiving week.”
Her hands fluttered about and she chewed on her lip. He’d never seen her that nervous and wondered what she was afraid to tell him. “And?”
“Well…she wants us to spend the holiday together, cook a big traditional meal. Umm…you know. The four of us?”
Did he dare hope her daughter wanted to include him? He had to be sure. “Four?”
“Yeah. Robby, Mariah, me…and you. If you’re interested.”
His heart swelled and slammed into his ribs as he parked the truck and turned in the seat toward Rissa. Her big brown eyes finally met his to reveal a wide variety of emotions. Fear, restrained optimism, self-doubt and longing all swirled together, increasing his own desires for the future.
Taking her hands, he stilled their nervous motion and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “What about you? Is that what you want too?”
“I would like to have all the people I love together.” She searched his expression, apparently finding the encouragement she needed to continue. “I missed you. Worried and thought about you the entire time you were gone.”
Summer of the Cougar (Cougar Challenge) Page 8
