She didn’t have any answers, and then she found herself suddenly thinking about Tanner. She was attracted to the man—no question about that. She wanted to dismiss those feelings by saying he wasn’t her type, except she didn’t have a type. He was good-looking and while that was a nice plus, it wasn’t the reason she found him appealing. Most of it was the man himself. How was she supposed to resist him when he was so devoted to his daughter? And easy to be with. And funny. And caring.
She sighed. So if Tanner Malone was so all-fired perfect, why wasn’t he married? Or why wasn’t there a line of women camped outside his house? Was it them, or was it him? Or was it something in his past…something she didn’t know about?
So many secrets, Kelly thought. Even though the past was long over, it had a way of hanging around and influencing the present. She knew she was dealing with some issues of her own. Yesterday, when she and Tanner had been in Ronni’s waiting room and he’d made a comment about her being so good with kids, she’d felt as if he’d ripped her heart out. It hadn’t been his fault, of course. He had no way of knowing how much she’d wanted to be a pediatrician. It had been all she’d wanted when she was a young girl. Except it hadn’t worked out that way.
Kelly turned the corner and headed toward her office. As she drove, she tried to figure out what had gone wrong. From the first day she’d entered medical school, every time she’d stepped into a hospital and had seen a young girl, she’d thought about her daughter…the child she’d given up for adoption. She wondered about the girl, about her parents. Eventually the guilt and pain grew to be too much. She decided that she didn’t deserve to work with children, so she’d chosen something else. Something that allowed her to be around babies.
“It’s not second best,” she murmured to herself as she pulled into her parking space. Except she wasn’t sure she believed the words. Not that it mattered. It was too late to change now. Sometimes it was important to stand by one’s choices, and she knew in her heart that this was one of those times.
“Can we make purple?” Tanner asked Saturday afternoon as he scanned the bowls of icing lined up on the kitchen table. “What is that, blue and red, right?” He looked to Kelly for confirmation.
She set down the sheet of cookies she’d just pulled out of the oven and laughed. “Tanner, you already have just about every color that ever existed. Yes, purple is a combination of red and blue, but you don’t need to make it. Besides, I don’t think there are any more bowls.”
“I know where they are,” six-year-old Lisbeth said helpfully. “Grandma keeps extra bowls in here.” She dragged her chair over to a cupboard and climbed up, then pointed to the top shelf. “Up there.”
“What a bright little girl you are,” Tanner said as he reached above her head and snagged two more bowls. “Just in case the mixing process runs into trouble.” He set the bowls on the table and dumped in a couple of spoonfuls of white icing. “Want to help me with this, Lisbeth?”
“Sure.” The young girl returned to her uncle’s side and grinned. “Don’t add too much color. Remember what happened when you tried to make orange.”
“I remember.”
Kelly glanced at the sink, which was filled with bowls glowing with rejected colors. It was going to take a week to get everything cleaned up. She smiled. Not that she wanted to be anywhere but here. She was having the best time.
“Aunt Kelly?” Drew, Ryan’s oldest, moved up next to her.
“Yes, Drew. Did you want to ice cookies?” She pointed to the dozens already cooling on the rack. Somehow tripling the recipe for sugar cookies had produced more cookies than she’d expected. They were going to have to freeze a bunch.
“You know they sell cookies at the store,” he said, his voice low as if he didn’t want his brother and sister to hear. “That would have been easier for you and Uncle Tanner than making them.”
Drew was only nine, but he was plenty responsible. His big blue eyes were filled with concern. “I don’t want to be rude, but you’re not really used to kids and the three of us are a real handful.”
Kelly set the cookie sheet on the counter, then dropped to her knees and pulled Drew close. “You know what? I think I can handle it. But you’re a sweetie for being concerned.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.” He didn’t look the least bit convinced. “I guess this is practice for when you have your own children.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re right.”
He glanced over his shoulder, then leaned close and whispered in her ear. “Uncle Tanner is really good with Lia. I didn’t think he’d like having a baby, but he does.”
Kelly touched his face. “You’re not really nine, are you? You’re actually a thirty year old disguised as a nine year old.”
Drew shook his head. “I’m nine.”
“I don’t know.”
“He’s just responsible, like Ryan was,” Tanner said from his seat at the table. “It comes from being the oldest.”
“So if I’m the oldest, like my dad, were you the youngest?”
“Yup.”
Drew’s gaze narrowed. “So you were like Griffin?”
Together the three of them looked at Ryan’s youngest son, who was all of four. He sat pulled up close to the table, with six cookies spread out in front of him. His intense expression never wavered as he focused on getting just the exact amount of icing on each of his cookies. Of course there was also icing on the front of his shirt, coating his hands and all over his face. Not to mention several globs in his hair.
Kelly covered her mouth to hold in a giggle. Tanner looked a little indignant. “I wasn’t exactly like him,” he said.
“I’d hope not,” Kelly said. She turned to Drew. “I have to tell you that your uncle is a little too big and grown up for me to imagine him like Griffin.”
“Maybe,” Drew agreed, glancing from his brother to his uncle.
“But I still like to ice cookies,” Tanner said, holding out a bowl for them to inspect.
Kelly pursed her lips. “All right. I’ve got to hand it to you. That’s a great shade of purple.”
He’d created a dark, vibrant color that would look perfect on the cookies, but probably would be difficult to get out of clothes. She held back a sigh. If the kids ended up with stains on their shirts, Ronni and Ryan weren’t going to be so thrilled by her offer to baby-sit.
A faint snuffling sound caught her attention. She glanced up and saw that Tanner had heard the noise, too. He was already pushing back his chair. “I’ll go check on Lia,” he said as he walked past the baby monitor.
Kelly surveyed the mess that used to be a very nice kitchen. Somehow she and Tanner would get it all cleaned up. The clothes would come clean and regardless of the hours spent to make things right again, it would be worth it. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had this much fun.
“My dad says that Lia is good for Uncle Tanner,” Drew said as he settled back in his chair and reached for a cookie. He studied the bowls, then picked up the yellow one and reached for a popsicle stick which he used to smooth on the rapidly hardening icing. “Dad says it will settle him down.”
Drew looked up at her and frowned. “Not that Uncle Tanner is, you know, wild.”
“Of course not,” she agreed, wondering where this conversation was heading. She had a feeling that Drew had been listening to talk that might not have been meant for his nine-year-old ears, as it was unlikely that Ryan would discuss his brother with his young son.
“He’s very nice and caring. He’s a great uncle.” Drew made a circle on the round cookie, then started making eyes and a big smile. “It’s just that Lia gives him a family of his own. Dad says he’ll be getting married soon. Do you think Uncle Tanner is a good dad?”
He asked his question with the studied casualness of someone pretending not to care about the answer, when in fact he was deeply interested. Suddenly all the odd statements and comments made sense. She stood facing a nine-year-old matchmaker. And perhaps his match
making father as well. For all she knew, Ronni was in on it.
Kelly waited for a couple of seconds, then decided that she wasn’t angry. Ryan and Drew and everyone else were just trying to make sure that Tanner was happy. If they thought Kelly was a likely candidate, of course they would encourage any relationship. Too bad she and Tanner were just friends. Everyone was destined to be disappointed when they found out.
Tanner walked back into the kitchen. He held Lia in his arms. She stared at all the activity and her big eyes got bigger. Pink fists flailed about and her rosebud mouth puckered into a pretty decent facsimile of a smile.
“How’s the cookie detail coming?” he asked.
Kelly glanced at the mess on the table. Less than half the cookies were iced, but she sensed that the kids were getting tired of helping. “I think they’re pretty close to done. I thought I’d finish up frosting while they watch a movie.”
Lisbeth glanced up, a smudge of blue icing on her cheek. “What are we going to watch?”
Drew and Griffin offered opinions at the same time. Lisbeth protested. The sound volume in the room increased. Kelly met Tanner’s gaze and smiled. Yes, it was chaos, but she had to admit it was also everything she’d ever wanted. All her life, she’d longed for a big family. While her father had loved her deeply, and had always been there for her, his ministry had kept him busy. Besides, he wasn’t another kid she could play with.
She’d started baby-sitting as soon as she was old enough. She’d adored infants, toddlers, little kids, even teenagers. Every stage had its ups and downs and she’d wanted to experience them all. Somewhere along the way, her dream had gotten lost. Was there a way to get it back or was it too late?
“Actually,” Tanner said loudly into the din, “Lia was telling me that she would like to watch A Bug’s Life, and as she’s the guest here, I think it’s her choice.”
All three children stared at him. “Lia can’t talk,” Lisbeth said.
“Not very well,” he admitted, “but I know what she’s thinking.”
“Is that so?” Kelly asked.
“Sure.” Tanner’s blue eyes danced with laughter. “Besides, the princess in the movie is pretty cute.”
“I thought this was Lia’s choice.”
“It is, but I happen to agree with her.”
“Uncle Tanner, you don’t get to pick,” Lisbeth insisted. “You’re not a kid.”
Drew shook his head. “You’d better let him. Otherwise, he’ll be cranky all night.”
“I’m not cranky,” Tanner said, even as he headed for the family room. “Why would you say I’m cranky? We can arm wrestle to see who picks. Griffin, want to arm wrestle with Uncle Tanner?”
Kelly watched the three children trail after their uncle. She couldn’t help smiling. Life around Tanner was certainly interesting. When he didn’t need her anymore and she returned to her old ways, things were going to seem very quiet. But for now, she was living in the center of chaos and it felt wonderful.
“How do you know they live happily ever after?” Lisbeth asked with a yawn as she burrowed her head deeper into her pillow.
“Because it’s a fairy tale and that’s always how they end. It’s the point.”
“Will I live happily ever after?”
“Of course,” Kelly said, kissing her cheek. “We always have challenges to keep us growing as people, but on the whole life is generally happy.”
Lisbeth rolled onto her side. She didn’t take up much room in the single bed, but she was surrounded by an army of stuffed animals. They crowded her feet and legs, leaned on her pillow and pressed up against her back.
“Go to sleep,” Kelly said as she stood.
Tanner pushed off from the wall where he’d been leaning and approached his niece. “Night, Lisbeth. You have sweet dreams.”
“I will.” She held out her arms to hug him.
He’d always thought she was so small, but she wasn’t when compared with Lia. Funny, but he couldn’t picture his own daughter ever being so big. Or worse, talking. Kelly had handled Lisbeth’s question about living happily ever after with an ease that he couldn’t imagine. If it had been him, he would have hemmed and hawed before coming up with some philosophical reply that only would have confused her. Parenting was harder than it looked.
“I love you, Uncle Tanner,” she murmured.
He kissed her forehead. “I love you, too, kiddo. Now go to sleep.”
But instead of resting her head back on the pillow, she grinned slyly. “I think you should kiss Kelly good-night.”
Tanner didn’t dare turn around to glance at Kelly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she was thinking. “Do you now?”
“Uh huh. A nice, big kiss, like the way Daddy kisses Ronni when he thinks we’re not watching.”
“I’ll have to tell your father that you are watching. What do you think of that, you minx?”
She giggled.
He kissed her forehead again. “Go to sleep.”
“What about Kelly?”
He stood up and clicked off the bedside lamp. “That’s none of your business. We’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay. Night.”
He followed Kelly out of her room and into the hallway. Griffin was already asleep and Drew was tucked in his bed, reading. Tanner tried not to notice the quiet of the house, or the dim lighting in the hall. Had it looked this intimate before? He couldn’t remember.
“Sorry about that,” he said quietly as he shut the door behind him. “I can’t figure out why the kids are behaving like this.”
“They’re matchmaking,” Kelly said lightly. “What I can’t figure is who put them up to it.”
“The list of suspects is long. I’d guess everyone from Ryan to Ronni. Maybe even the kids’ grandmother.” He shrugged. “I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”
“Not at all. I think it’s pretty funny. Are you okay with it?”
Maybe it was the silence of the night, he thought as he resisted the need to step closer to her. Maybe it was the fact that he could inhale the sweet scent of her body. Or maybe it was just plain stupidity on his part. Regardless, he found himself wanting to pull her hard against him and kiss her, just like Lisbeth had requested. He wanted to kiss her the way a man kissed a woman he’s attracted to.
Instead he swallowed. “Yeah, I’m fine. You’re right. The situation is pretty funny.” He cleared his throat. “So, ah, do you want to watch some television?”
“Sure. It’s a little early to go to bed.”
“Great.”
But neither of them moved. He motioned toward the stairs. “The family room is down there.”
“I know.”
Damn. Had it gotten hot in here, or was it just him? He tugged at the collar of his shirt. “Kelly, I…”
“Yes?”
Had her eyes always been dark, bottomless pools? And was it his imagination or did her body seem to be swaying toward him? Lord help him, he wanted her.
“Either we go downstairs right now or I’m going to have to kiss you,” he told her.
“Are those my two choices?”
“Yeah.”
She smiled. “Hmm, I’m going to have to think about them for a while.”
“Are you?”
She nodded.
He took a step closer, then placed one hand on her waist. “Here. Let me help you decide.” Then he lowered his mouth to hers.
Chapter Eleven
They had only kissed once before, yet Kelly had a sense of coming home as she stepped into Tanner’s embrace. His arms were as strong as she remembered, his chest as broad, his taste as sweet. When his lips pressed against hers, it was easy to surrender to the passion flaring between them, to simply rest her belly against his arousal and it was the most natural thing in the world to touch her tongue to his.
They both wore casual clothes and athletic shoes, so he was only a couple of inches taller than her. She raised her arms until they rested on his broad shoulders, then
leaned against him. His big hands stretched across her back, holding her…perhaps in place…perhaps just touching. Either was fine with her. She had no plans to disappear. Being close to Tanner, feeling his strength, his heat and his desire, was the best part of her day. She couldn’t imagine anyone else feeling so right in her embrace.
He tilted his head slightly, then plunged his tongue into her mouth. She welcomed him, touching him, circling around, teasing him. He let her play her game, then returned the sensual torture, exploring her mouth, stroking against her in a way designed to make her whimper.
Their closeness ignited a fire inside of her. The flames didn’t just flicker gently with a sensual warmth. Instead she found herself consumed by a conflagration that left her breathless and weak. The muscles of her legs trembled. Her breasts swelled and ached, and between her thighs she felt the swelling and dampness that foretold her body’s readiness for this man’s very male invasion.
Tanner broke the kiss, but before she could protest, he licked her lower lip, then nibbled at the corner of her mouth. She found it difficult to continue to hold her head upright. When he kissed a damp trail down to her neck, it was easy to tilt her head to the side and allow him to have his way with her.
Light, teasing, tickling kisses made her shiver. He bit her ear lobe, then soothed the erotic hurt with his tongue. He breathed her name against the hollow of her throat, he kissed his way to the other side of her neck and back up to her mouth. Every action stirred her more deeply and left her wanting in a way she’d never wanted a man before in her life.
His hardness pressed against her belly. She flexed her hips and rubbed up and down wanting him to want with the same fierceness. He groaned low in his throat.
“You’re killing me,” he murmured against her mouth.
“Me, too.”
“Don’t stop.”
He licked at the seam of her lips, but when they parted, he didn’t invade. Instead he touched the tip of her tongue with his and retreated. When she didn’t respond, he repeated the action. Kelly finally realized that he wanted her to follow, to play a very grown-up version of tag.
Their Little Princess Page 13
