by L. C. Davis
“What’s wrong with Kent?”
“Nothing at all. I just wouldn’t have thought you two would be compatible.”
“He’s different,” Nathan murmured. “He’s not the same as he was when we were younger. He’s not the person anyone thinks he is.”
“Tell me more,” Connor said, sliding onto a stool and patting the one beside him for Nathan to join him.
Nathan sighed, letting Connor help him up since maneuvering was harder than it had been now that his belly was a bit more prominent. “It’s silly to feel this way, especially in my condition.”
“There are feelings involved now, are there?” Connor asked.
“It doesn’t matter. He’s just being nice.”
“If he was just asking you to the gala to be nice, his heartrate and respiration wouldn’t have been all over the place.”
“Dad!”
“What? I can’t just shut it off.”
“Please don’t say anything. Especially to you-know-who.”
“Are we talking about your father or the devil here?”
“When it comes to Alphas who show the slightest bit of interest in me, there’s not a whole lot of difference,” Nathan scoffed. “I just don’t want dad to make things weird by being himself.”
“You really like Kent, don’t you?”
Nathan bit his bottom lip, nodding. “I don’t really know how it happened, it just sort of...happened.”
“I know how that is,” Connor said with a wistful sigh. “One moment, you want all Alphas to bow to your will, the next, you get all tongue-tied around one of the big dopes.”
Nathan blinked. “That’s not exactly how I’d put it, but sure.”
“Well, your secret is safe with me. I just hope you’ll be careful,” he said gently.
“I’m not going to sneak off at the party and mate with him, if that’s what you mean.”
“I’m talking about your heart, too. You deserve the world, baby boy,” Connor said, cupping Nathan’s cheek in his hand. “And an Alpha who wants to give it to you. I don’t want you thinking you deserve anything less just because you’re pregnant.”
“With another Alpha’s kid,” Nathan reminded him. “Most Alphas would have a problem with that.”
“My point is, the right one won’t. You can’t change the past, but you can respect yourself enough not to make the same mistakes again,” said Connor. “Unlike me, you’re smart enough that I hope you only have to learn once.”
“Yeah, right,” Nathan mumbled. He glanced at the kitchen door, frowning. “Is dad mad at me?”
“What? Of course not, sweetheart. Why would you even think that?”
“It’s just that he gets this look on his face whenever anyone mentions the baby. I know he’s embarrassed, but I thought he’d be less angry by now.”
Connor’s gaze softened and he rested a hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “Your father is just having a hard time with all of this, but he’s not embarrassed. Certainly not of you.”
“Well, something’s wrong.”
“He’s just under a lot of stress with work.” Connor hesitated. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I don’t want you to think it has anything to do with you.”
“What is it?”
“There’s trouble in Europe. It’s a small group of wolves who’ve been attacking packs in the region, specifically Alphas, and we have reason to believe they may have splintered off from the Alliance.”
“The Alliance?” Nathan echoed in a harsh whisper. “I thought we wiped them all out.”
“So did we,” Connor murmured. “Then Priya escaped last month, and the Alliance wolves are the only ones who’d have the motive or connections to break her out. Your father and the other Alphas are looking for answers, but it’s not going well. I’m not telling you this so you’ll worry, I’m telling you so you’ll understand that this isn’t about you. Your father loves you, and we’re both so proud of all the progress you’ve made here.”
“Will you both come to the sonogram tomorrow?” Nathan asked hopefully. He wanted to talk to them about what had been on his heart and mind for the last few weeks, but he knew that night wasn’t the right moment.
“Of course we will. Now, go on upstairs and get some rest. It’s going to be a big day tomorrow.”
Nathan smiled, but behind his mask of composure, he was all frenetic energy. The following day was guaranteed to be big, but whether or not it was good remained to be seen.
~
When Nathan opened his eyes, his anxieties were right there waiting for him to slip back into them like a fresh change of clothes. He went downstairs to find his parents waiting for him at the kitchen table. Barnabas was there, too, but the rest of the Colt clan had gone their separate ways. Duke had that effect on young Alphas.
“Morning,” Barnabas said brightly from the stove. “Cameron had a meeting, so I’m on breakfast duty today. How do you like your eggs?”
Nathan hesitated. The eggs cooking on the stove would have smelled fine normally, but the scent was churning his finicky stomach. “Thanks, Barnabas, but I think I’ll stick with toast and juice.”
“Is the morning sickness bad?” Connor asked worriedly as Nathan took a seat across from him.
“It’s a little worse than it was, but it’s manageable,” he said, plucking a teabag from the dish on the table. “Dad, could you pass the hot water?”
Duke looked at the kettle in front of him and slid it over. “Since when do you drink tea?”
“Dr. Williams says coffee’s not good for the baby, so herbal peach it is,” Nathan said, patting his stomach.
Duke didn’t say a word, but Nathan didn’t miss the way his mouth turned down at the corners before he went back to his paper. Even Barnabas seemed to be aware of the tension in the room.
“Well,” he said, glancing at his watch. “I think I’m gonna take this to go. You three enjoy your morning, I’ll see you later at the gala.”
“See you,” Nathan called, wishing he would stay. He shot a worried glance at Connor, who gently nudged his mate under the table.
“Duke, you’d better finish up with that if we’re going to make it in time for Nathan’s appointment.”
The Alpha stopped with his fork halfway to his mouth. “I thought you two were going by yourselves.”
“I told you last night, Nathan wants us both to come,” Connor said through gritted teeth.
Nathan’s heart sank. He could count on one hand the number of times he had witnessed his parents argue. Their playful bickering was just part of their love language, but this was different. They never disagreed on anything substantive, and he’d never before felt the kind of tension that was hovering between them.
“It’s okay,” Nathan said, suddenly disinterested in his toast. “You don’t have to go. I just thought maybe you’d want to see the baby.”
Duke flinched. “Nathan --”
“Of course he does,” Connor interrupted before his mate could finish that thought. “We want to be there.”
Nathan knew it was a lie, but he was grateful that at least one of his parents cared enough to tell it. “I’ll go wait in the car, then,” he said, standing to clear his plate. As he left the kitchen, he could hear the whispers of his parents arguing, and he wasn’t sure which was worse: the fact that Duke didn’t want to see his own grandchild or the fact that they were fighting because of him.
A few minutes later, Duke and Connor both came out to the car, and other than taking a few words of direction from Nathan, Duke was silent. Along the way, Connor pointed out everything that had changed since his last visit to Silver Lake, but Nathan knew he just felt compelled to fill the awkward silence.
At his last appointment, Dr. Williams had told Nathan there was a chance they could find out the sex of the baby this time, but Nathan’s excitement had been dulled to a blunt edge. The receptionist was as cheerful as ever as she escorted them into the back office, and once Nathan’s initial exam was over, Dr. Willi
ams invited his parents in to view the sonogram.
“Good to finally meet you both,” the doctor said, extending a hand to greet Connor and Duke in turn. “Nathan’s told me so much about you, I feel like we’ve already met.”
“Thank you for taking care of him, Dr. Williams,” Connor said with a warmth that Nathan knew was practiced. There was no limit to the love the omega felt for his family and friends, but he had learned certain social graces he didn’t naturally possess in an attempt to assimilate into his pack. Somehow, it had always made Nathan feel even more secure, knowing that he and his father were part of a privileged group who got to see the real Connor. Nathan couldn’t help but hope that one day, he might share a bond as strong as the one he had with Connor with the child he hadn’t even met.
“It’s my pleasure. Your son is a very special young man, and I know he’ll be an excellent parent.”
“I’m sure he will one day,” Duke said tonelessly.
Connor shot him a warning look that didn’t go unnoticed by Nathan. Tears filled the omega’s eyes as the day he’d been looking forward to for a solid week was slowly but surely twisted into one he wanted nothing more than to forget. Connor took a seat beside the table and gave Nathan’s hand a reassuring squeeze.
“Well, let’s see if we can tell whether you’re having a boy or a girl, Nate,” the doctor said, lifting Nathan’s shirt to glide the wand over his stomach. “These things aren’t always reliable at this stage, but we’ll give it a shot.”
“These things aren’t always reliable period,” Connor said dryly.
Nathan couldn’t help but smile. He knew Connor had been slow to accept his brother’s transition long before Nathan was born, but it was just one of the many ways in which the omega had changed. Nathan found himself hoping that parenthood would change him, too. The baby had already made him see the world in a different way, and while it had taken some time to get used to, he was starting to believe for the very first time that change might be a good thing.
“Do you hear that?” Nathan asked excitedly as a rhythmic whooshing sound started coming from the speakers. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat.”
“That it is,” Connor said softly, nostalgia crossing his face as he stroked his son’s hair. “I remember the first time I heard yours. I was never the same after that.”
“Can you see anything different?” Nathan asked, studying the monochromatic image on the screen. He kept one of the frames the doctor had printed out for him underneath his pillow, and every time he looked at it, his heart surged with something he’d never quite felt before. It was similar to the love he’d always felt for his parents and Tanner, but it was different somehow. It was just as deep, but there was a kind of fear in that love unlike any he’d known before. It wasn’t anything like the fear of stepping into the unknown after he’d gotten that rejection letter or the chaos his life had spiraled into thereafter. It was more like a sense of responsibility, a burden and a gift wrapped up in the same blurry gray package. It made him want to be better. It made him want to do better, to give that little gray blur everything his parents had given him and more. It made him simultaneously long to fast-forward through the next four-and-a-half months and freeze them, because as much as he couldn’t wait to meet the person growing inside of him--his baby--he was terrified he wouldn’t be what they needed by the time they arrived.
“As a matter of fact,” Dr. Williams said, squinting at the screen, “I can say with a reasonable amount of certainty that the baby is female. Congratulations, Nathan. You’re having a little girl.” He paused, glancing warily at Connor. “Er, probably.”
Nathan let out a strangled laugh as tears coursed through his cheeks. He turned to Connor, unable to stop the smile that seemed frozen on his face. “Did you hear that, dad? I’m having a daughter.”
“I heard, sweetheart,” Connor said, brushing a tear from Nathan’s cheek. He looked up suddenly and the expression on his face told Nathan everything he needed to know about the look in Duke’s eyes. Nathan had seen his father truly angry on only the rarest occasion, but the look on Duke’s face as he stared at the image that had brought Nathan so much joy broke the young omega’s heart in an instant.
Nathan’s smile melted and the tears streaming down his cheeks turned hot with pain. “Daddy…”
Dr. Williams cleared his throat. “I’ll give you a moment to talk,” he said before slipping out of the room.
Duke said nothing, but his stony silence spoke volumes.
“Duke, we talked about this,” Connor gritted out. “Please.”
“I can’t do this, Connor. I can’t just put on a mask and pretend like this is okay,” the Alpha growled. The venom in his tone didn’t shock Nathan half as much as the pain in it. “It’s sick to let him get attached like this, to think he can raise this child on his own.”
Nathan sat up, not wanting to feel vulnerable in the middle of what he knew was going to be the worst argument they’d ever had. He didn’t want to step into the eye of the hurricane, but Duke was the one charting its course. “Don’t talk about me like I’m not even here! This is my baby. It’s my choice, not yours.”
“And you’re our baby,” Duke shot back. “You are nineteen years old, Nathan. What do you know about being a parent? What do you know about life? Five months ago, you were on the Dean’s list, and your biggest concern in life was getting into that damn school.”
“Things change!” Nathan cried. “I’ve changed. She changed me, and I know it’s going to be hard, but I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not giving my baby up, dad. I love her too much.”
“If you love her, then you should want what’s best for her,” Duke said, his gravelly tone softening slightly as he placed his hands on Nathan’s shoulders. “You should want her to have what you had. Two parents who can not only give her the love she deserves but everything else that comes with it. Everything else babies need to grow and thrive and come into their own. Security, shelter, guidance. How are you going to provide any of that on your own?”
“I’ll get a job. I’ve only got a year left in school, I’m not some kid with a newly minted high school diploma,” he said fervently. “I already work as a lab assistant. Even if you don’t want anything to do with us, I could get hired full time while I finish my degree and the pack has daycare.”
“And what about grad school?” Duke demanded.
“Duke, stop it,” Connor hissed. “This isn’t the time.”
“We did it your way, Connor. We waited to have this conversation because we didn’t want to ‘upset’ him and now look where we are,” the Alpha snapped.
Nathan looked at Connor, betrayal shining in his eyes. “‘We?’ So you agree with him?” His voice cracked. “You want me to give my baby away, too?”
“Sweetheart, we talked about this a long time ago,” Connor said, shooting Duke a withering look. “We wanted to talk to you, with you,” he said pointedly. “This is going to be hard. Either way, whatever decision you make, this is going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do and we just don’t want you to make a decision based on emotion now that you’re going to regret later.”
“Did you regret me?” Nathan hissed. “I wasn’t planned. Was I just an ‘emotional decision’ you’ve always wished you could do over?”
Connor’s face contorted in horror. “Of course not. Never, Nathan. I loved you from the moment I heard your heartbeat, and I’ve never regretted you, not even for a second.”
“Then give me the same freedom you had,” he pleaded. “I know it’s not going to be easy, but you told me once that the thing you admired about me was that I always knew who I was and what I wanted. I know, dad. This is what I want. Whatever I have to do, whatever I have to sacrifice for her, this is the life I want. The only thing I’m going to regret is not being part of hers.”
Connor listened and Nathan could see him warring with himself behind those cold blue eyes. He knew that the pack law that was regularly enforced and the pac
k law that could be enforced were two different things. Nathan was an unmated omega, which meant that his Unit Alpha had the authority to make decisions for him, all the moreso because Duke was also his father. If they wanted to, Connor and Duke could force him to give his baby up for adoption. If that happened, he already knew what he was going to do, but his fervent prayer to the Spirits was that they wouldn’t force him to do it. It would tear the family apart forever, but he’d do it if he had to.
“It’s not up to him,” Duke said in a calm tone that scared Nathan so much more than his fury. “He’s not the Alpha.”
“Duke!” Connor cried, as shocked by the implication of his mate’s words as Nathan was.
“It’s alright,” Duke murmured. “I shouldn’t have expected you to be able to stay objective about this. He’s always been your weak spot. I think he reminds you too much of Mel to say no to him, even if it is what’s best for him.”
“Don’t do this, Duke,” Connor seethed. “Don’t cross that line.”
“I’m doing it for both of you,” he said sadly, turning to Nathan. “I won’t let you ruin your life or this baby’s. We’ve given you too much free reign as it is, and I won’t see you hang yourself with it. It’s not fair to expect either of you to make this decision, so I’ll make it for you.”
“No!” Nathan cried. “Please, don’t do this, daddy. Please. Please, don’t do this to me.”
“I’m doing it for you, Nathan. One day, you’ll understand. I’ll find a family myself, one who can give her the best possible life, so you can get back to living yours. I’m going to make this right. It’s up to you whether you give me the name of the Alpha who did this to you or not, but when the baby comes, I will use wolfsbane on you if I have to.”
Nathan’s eyes widened in horror. Wolfsbane functioned like truth serum for shifters, and if Duke followed through on his threat--a cruel punishment Nathan never would have thought him capable of enacting an hour earlier--he would be forced to give up Vance’s name. Protecting the Alpha wasn’t even on Nathan’s radar now that he knew his daughter was going to be taken away from him, but it was a betrayal all the same.
