by Katie Tsang
2 This story might NOT be 100 percent true, but don’t tell Ralph Philip Zinkerman that. Or his twin sister, Regina.
3 Fang doesn’t actually have fangs, and I’ve also never seen him eat a man, but that isn’t important. The important thing is that Fang is an actual snake, and he’s my very scary sidekick. NOT scary to me, scary to everyone else. Except to my little sister, Lucy, who is apparently not afraid of anything.
After the INCIDENT at the Space Museum, which won’t be spoken of (it involved me, an Astro Blast Simulator, and a change of pants), I had to prove my bravery by getting a snake sidekick and becoming a certified ghost hunter.
It’s kind of a long story. All you need to know is that I proved how BRAVE I am.
But apparently, bravery is something you have to prove over and over again.
I thought everything would go back to normal and I’d never have to hear the words again. But then we had a school trip to the aquarium. And that was when things really went wrong.1
It should have been a perfect day. I wasn’t 100 percent sure what to expect at the aquarium, but my best friend Bernard swore it was going to be
Up until this point I’d had exactly three experiences with the deep sea:
1. On my favorite show, , there was once an episode where they flew to a water planet and met a flying space sea turtle named Stephanie. There was also an Evil Shark Lord who was in cahoots with the Ghost King2. It was a great episode. Most people would have found it TERRIFYING, but I was only a little bit scared. The beaches in Hong Kong (where my family is from) very sensibly have shark nets. To keep out the sharks. My little sister, Lucy, wondered what would happen if a shark got IN the shark net, but I told her that was impossible.3
2. When I asked Na-Na (that’s my grandma — she lives with us) what an aquarium was, she told me it was like the big fish tanks at the seafood restaurants in Chinatown, which we go to on special occasions. Na-Na always picks out a fish that is STILL SWIMMING in a fish tank for us to have for dinner. One time I named the fish, but then it came out on a plate, so I don’t name the fish from the tank ANYMORE.
So I thought that the aquarium was going to be like a giant fish tank where you picked out your dinner. When I told Bernard and Zoe that their mouths dropped open.
EW! said Zoe.
I frowned. “Zoe, you eat fish. Just yesterday you had fish sticks for lunch,” I said.
“That’s different!” she spluttered. We were on the bus on our way to the aquarium.
“How?” I asked.
“It just IS! Tell him, Bernard,” she said.
Bernard frowned and then took out his thinking glasses. He only wears them when he is thinking VERY HARD.
“Well,” he said. “Fish sticks come in a box. So obviously it is a completely different thing.”
“Yeah!” said Zoe. ‘Exactly!”
“Well, where do they come from before they go in the box? Fish sticks don’t grow on trees like other sticks!” I pointed at a tree to prove my point.
“I don’t know,” Zoe said loudly (the more unsure about something she is, the louder she gets). They just are. But I do know you don’t eat the fish at the aquarium.
I shrugged. “Try telling Na-Na that.”
And then we arrived at the aquarium.
1 But not quite as wrong as they went at the Space Museum. Maybe I should stop going on school trips.
2 He’s the number-one enemy in the universe, according to Captain Jane, Spaceman Jack, and ME. But Evil Shark Lord is probably enemy number two.
3 It actually sounded very possible and EXTREMELY scary. But I didn’t want to worry her, so I put on a brave face. All part of being a big brother.
