To Christina, it seemed he was avoiding her gaze. Some of his irritation had vanished during this interlude with Mary. If it had not been for his rage, the scene would have had such a domestic quality, as if Ned and she had returned home together after an evening out. If they had been Robert and Louisa, they might have gone up the stairs together to drop in on Robert Edward before seeking each other's warmth in bed.
But Ned stepped back outside, without so much as a goodnight. “Make sure your mistress stays in her room until morning,” he threw back over his shoulder to Mary. And then he was gone.
Christina went tiredly upstairs to bed. She let Mary help her out of her clothes and tuck her under the covers. She did not know whether to be joyous that she had finally goaded Ned into noticing she was no longer the schoolgirl he thought, or heartsick because the knowledge seemed to mean so little to him.
Chapter Seven
She stayed abed the next morning and only made it down to breakfast at noon. She was listlessly picking over a selection of meats and fish, when Louisa joined her, bearing Robert Edward in her arms.
“There you are, my dear,” she said, examining Christina's pale complexion with a mildly worried frown. “I hope your headache is not still bothering you."
“Headache?” With Ned's kisses so fresh in her mind, Christina had forgotten her excuse of the previous evening. “Oh, yes, headache! No, Louisa, I am quite well thank you. Perhaps a bit worn. That is all."
“Thank goodness. Although you must tell me at once if it returns, and I shall call our excellent Doctor Gardiner out to see you."
“I don't think that will be necessary.” Grateful for her sister's solicitude, Christina managed a smile, but was afraid it must appear a trifle wan. “If you had told me a few weeks ago that I could be exhausted by a continuous round of parties, I should not have believed you."
“We are all a bit weary,” Louisa conceded, as she took a chair across the table. Smiling and cooing at the baby facing her on her lap, she bounced him while they talked. “Perhaps you would rather stay at home this evening. I am certain Robert, at least, would be grateful for the rest. And your own ball will soon be taking place. You must not let yourself become prostrated by so much gaiety."
Christina considered her sister's proposal. The prospect of an evening in which she would not have to pretend to be happy dancing with other men—when Ned would never dance with her—was tempting, she had to admit. But if she stayed at home, then he might believe she had shied away because of his kiss. Christina could not let him believe he had frightened her, any more than she wanted him to think she was in love with him. She refused to be in love with Ned, for he was a confirmed bachelor. No rogue like Ned would be tempted to marry an innocent like her.
Over and over again during the night, she had revisited that scene in the carriage. She wondered if she'd imagined Ned's increasing passion the longer his caresses had continued. There was nothing in her own experience to make her certain, but it had seemed he was not entirely composed. And the possibility that he had not been unaffected by their embrace gave her the courage to rise once again to the fight.
Realizing that Louisa was awaiting her response, she quickly said, “Oh, I think I shall rally before this evening. I have already had one night's repose.” Then, the notion that Louisa and Robert might prefer to stay at home struck her. “However, if you and Robert have had more than you can bear, you must say."
“Me? No.” Louisa laughed and bounced her little marquess higher on her knee. “So long as we go out after Robert Edward goes to bed, I am perfectly happy. I have been so entertained this season, watching all the young men flock about you."
“Have you?” Christina asked, for some reason, not so well pleased by Louisa's revelation. She added wryly, “I am happy to have supplied you with a diversion."
“I am not the only one who is benefiting from your coming-out."
“No?” Christina gave her head a tilt. “I cannot believe you mean Robert. I have heard him complain loudly enough."
“No, I am sorry for it, of course, but I do not mean Robert. It was Ned I was thinking of."
“Ned?” Christina felt the individual hairs on her head begin to rise.
“Yes, indeed.” Louisa turned the baby round to let him face Christina, and, spying her, Robert Edward broke out in an engaging, toothless grin. “Since you came, Ned has spent so much time watching over you, he has had no time for his former pursuits."
“Since I came?” Christina tried to hide her avid curiosity by picking up her fork and moving the food about on her plate, but her hand was trembling. “And what pursuits would those be?"
Louisa gave her a speaking glance. “I am sure that Robert would not wish me to mention such goings-on to you, but you are already aware that Ned was the greatest rake in London. When I say his former pursuits, I am speaking of those sorts of activities."
“You mean drinking and gambling and ...."
“So forth,” Louisa agreed. “You know exactly to what I was referring."
“And you say he has given those up?"
“Well, not entirely perhaps, although it is many weeks since I have heard a woman's name paired with his. And you cannot deny he has remained sober, for we have seen him nearly every evening until quite late, and there has never been so much as a sign of inebriation. He might have played at cards,” she admitted, “but I am certain we should have heard of any extraordinary bets.
“And,” Louisa added with a great, relieved sigh, “I have yet to hear that he has risked his neck on any athletic feat this season."
“But why should my coming have had any effect on him whatsoever?"
Louisa shrugged and widened her eyes. “Why, indeed?"
Christina felt a lightening in her chest along with a burgeoning sense of worth, before the lessons of a lifetime reminded her how foolish self-indulgent thoughts could be. “Perhaps,” she said, adding indifference to her voice, though she longed for Louisa to contradict her, “Ned is taking his vows as godfather more seriously than we ever believed he would."
“I had not thought of that.” Louisa frowned lightly as if considering, then briskly shook her head. “I suppose that could be; however, if that were the case, I should think his visits to Robert Edward would have increased. Instead, according to Nurse, he is sneaking into the nursery far less often. With the season started, I do not think he has had as much time to come.
“And, yet,” she added, considering, “he has managed to attend every function we've been invited to so far.”
A vast sigh accompanied these last words. As Christina stared at her, wondering what she meant to imply, Louisa darted a few uneasy glances her way.
“What?” Christina asked, determined to know what was in her sister-in-law's mind.
Reluctance, alternating with regret, moved across Louisa's face. “If you promise not to refine too much upon what I say..."
“Of course. You have my word."
“It is Ned.” As Louisa spoke his name, a tragic look came into her eyes.
“What? What has happened to him?"
“Nothing yet. But I cannot help the feeling that something might. And then, where would we be?"
“We?"
“Yes, you, Robert and I, although it would be folly on my part to place any of the blame on you, as if you could prevent such a thing from happening. And as for Robert! Robert would be beside himself if he had the faintest notion."
“Notion of what?"
Pulling Robert Edward closer to her body, Louisa looked at her sadly. “I am so afraid that Ned might have developed a tendre for you. You know how I wished for something of the kind. But now that Robert has made himself so clear on the subject, I should so hate to see Ned disappointed."
A nervous bubble leapt into Christina's throat. She gave a hiccuping laugh. “Whatever makes you think such an unlikely thing has occurred?"
“I don't know.” Louisa glanced at her sideways from under her lashes, once and then again
. “Perhaps I am only imagining things. But it does seem to me ...."
Christina held in her breath, but Louisa did not finish, and Christina did not see how she could call the conversation back.
“But whether my intuition is right or not,” Louisa said, avoiding her gaze, “something tells me that Ned's feelings might be injured. And I would never like to see that happen. He does have feelings, you know, however much he tries to hide them."
The sound of a bell interrupted their talk. Startled out of her avid state, Christina thought she might scream. She jumped up and ran to the window to see who was calling and found one of her many admirers down below, with a posy in his hand.
“Oh, dear! It's Sir Anthony Bligh, and I don't wish to see him."
“Don't you, my dear? I am so sorry, for I thought you would, and so I told him last night.” As if in response to the desperation on Christina's face, Louisa jumped up from her chair. “But you mustn't receive him if you do not wish. I shall simply tell him you still have the headache.
“Here,” Louisa said, pushing the baby into Christina's arms. “Take him through the kitchen up to Nurse, and if you would not mind, you could take him out into the garden for some air. It is such a fine day."
Quickly, she bundled them off through the rear door of the dining parlor just before their caller was admitted through the front.
Torn so rapidly from her musings, and feeling shaken, Christina made her way to the nursery with the baby in her arms. His soft, little body and his warmth acted like a tonic. She felt her restless pulse begin to relax.
It took more than a few minutes to make certain Robert Edward was sufficiently clothed for the out of doors. While Nurse held him, Christina put on her own pelisse and bonnet, all the while itching to ask Dobbs when Ned had been around last to see the baby. The thought that he might have halted his visits because she'd caught him had occurred to her, and it was with a deep sense of regret that she pondered the probability.
Finally, as Dobbs was handing him over with admonitions on how to keep him warm should a sudden wind blow up, Christina simply asked, “Has Lord Windermere been up to see my nephew recently?"
“Sure and he has, your ladyship. He came round just t'other day when you and her Grace was gone shopping. But I haven't seed him as much as before, for all that."
Christina barely acknowledged her answer, not knowing what to make of it in any case, but instead, occupied herself with folding the baby's covers tightly about him. Lord Robert Edward was growing, and his baby swaddlings were getting too short for his lengthening frame. His kicks were getting stronger, too, which made keeping his covers in any kind of order increasingly hard.
Christina headed out the back door into the small, walled area that served as a London garden. With her thoughts half on Ned and half on the baby's expressions of wonder, she strolled up and down until exercise and the chill of the spring day brought the roses back into her cheeks.
* * * *
Ned had walked through the mews, hoping to be admitted by a servant without being remarked by anyone in the family. He'd begun to feel as if a visit to Little Ned would be in order.
As soon as he spied Christina, however, he ducked behind the wall and carefully watched to see what she was doing. From his vantage point, he could not hear what she was crooning to the baby, but he could see the blush of wind on her cheeks. He could also see the ripeness covering her youthful frame, the wisps of light, soft hair that escaped her bonnet to fly about her face, the gentle sweep of her light brown lashes, and the sweetness of the lips that had rocked the very foundation of his senses.
Things had not gone as he had planned. He had never anticipated allowing himself to be swept away by a kiss. If he had thought at all—and clearly he had not considered his actions enough—he would have said that his intent last night had been to frighten Christina out of her wits by showing her once and for all the danger of inciting a man's hunger. He might even have momentarily believed it would be smart to let his arousal carry him away in the interest of convincing her.
But he had met with such delicious capitulation on her part. Her entirely unexpected reception of his kiss had fired his desire. He had not believed she would welcome him at all, much less return his embrace with such overwhelming passion, or that the taste of her lips would be so sweet.
The knowledge that she had relished his caresses had shaken him badly. Christina was Robert's sister, and Robert had declared her too good for Ned.
Ned knew that she was. He knew she was an innocent, much too innocent for him, in spite of that impassioned kiss. It had taken an instant for her untrained lips to mold perfectly to his. But once they had ....
Ned cursed himself for being a fool and a cad. He had never meant to awaken this passion in her, or to let her see how rapidly his own desire could mount. And it had not mounted that rapidly since his first inkling of the pleasures of the flesh.
Another reason to be on his guard.
Waiting for Christina to turn in the opposite direction, Ned tried to pull his gaze away from the tempting picture she made. He decided he ought to go back the way he had come. The less he saw of Christina from now on, the better things would be. He had obviously allowed himself to develop an attraction to her without realizing how fast his feelings were growing. But this, too, would pass, as had all his other tendres. He had only to let his passion cool.
It had been odd, now he thought of it, that Louisa had known that an affair between him and Christina was even possible. She could never have foreseen how it would grow. From complete indifference, proceeding through open hostility, they had somehow emerged as friends. Each had something of the other's restless feeling. That shared impatience and discontent with life had led them both to commit indiscretions that set them apart from the rest of the polite world.
Only Christina had not yet revealed this inclination in such a way as to set herself beyond the realm of acceptable society. No matter how hard she had tried.
Staring after her once again and watching her alone with the baby, Ned admitted to himself that when he was not furious with her, he could almost think he understood her. That should be no basis, however, for this lust he felt that stirred his loins even as he watched her walk. He told himself he would have found anyone with her face, her hair and girlish figure tempting. He must not let himself make more of last night's incident than there was.
Unfortunately, with her sweet, tender form pressed to his, he had forgotten that his object was to tame her. By his very act, he had led her into the sort of behavior he had been working so hard to help her avoid. He would have to exercise more restraint. Perhaps, he should even apologize.
Or maybe it would be best simply to forget that delicious kiss had ever occurred.
Ned struggled with the difficulty of this strategy. He would make himself forget. The fact that the mere sight of Christina had stirred his yearnings would soon be overcome. It would, perhaps, be easier to forget what had passed between them, if he never saw her again.
But how was that to be accomplished, when he had spent nearly all his evenings this past month in the company of her family? He could not eschew Robert and Louisa as if they were not his friends. If he did, Robert would surely begin to suspect this sudden alteration. Worse yet, Christina herself would undoubtedly think he had shied away because the kiss had disturbed him more than it should. He could not allow her to believe in such a fantasy.
With a grim sort of stiffness gripping his innards, Ned realized he would have to carry on as before, else the chit would get the harebrained notion that he was falling in love with her. And he could not be falling in love with such a tender girl, who could do so much better for herself than to become married to a rogue.
Just as he was moving to go with an unwonted heaviness of heart, she completed a length of the garden and turned. His shadow must have caught her eye, for she halted in her tracks. He thought he heard her gasp.
Discovered, Ned could do nothing but pretend he
had just arrived. An uncommon nervousness made him swallow, as he noted the startled light in her eyes.
“Taking the air, I see.” As Ned moved out from behind the wall and strolled through the gate, he spoke as if nothing extraordinary had passed between them.
Aware that she had been holding her breath, Christina responded in kind. She raised the baby and bounced him before her face to cloak her shaken expression. “Yes, we were,” she said, “but you startled me. I am not terribly used to seeing men lurking behind the house. Fortunately, Robert Edward is never frightened by marauders."
“I wasn't lurking.” Ned's lips gave a twist in response to her remark. “I make it a practice never to lurk."
“Call it what you like.” Trying to hide her own grin, Christina raised a shoulder and tossed her nose in the air. “But approaching a person's residence from the back seems a very havey-cavey business to me."
“So does sneaking out of it in the middle of the night. You are one to talk, my dear."
At this scarcely flattering reminder of her escapade, Christina stiffened.
“But, perhaps,” Ned said smoothly, “it was indelicate of me to mention that particular incident. I shall endeavor not to do so again. However, in exchange for my restraint, I shall expect you to exercise a similar one."
“As if I would tell anyone what happened last night!"
Ned's brows flew up. A sparkle lit his eyes. With mortification sweeping her body, Christina realized she had misunderstood his meaning.
“Oh, I never kiss and tell,” he said, and his voice was so low it brought a rapid throb to her ears. “Honor among rogues, you know.
“No, my dear” —with an abruptness that startled her, he reverted to his flippant manner—"the matter to which I was referring was my unconventional habit of entering this house through the rear for the purpose of visiting my godson unannounced."
“One might wonder how you contrive to enter a house secretly with so many servants in it."
“Ah. As to that, I have my ways."
A Pair of Rogues Page 11
