Passion in Portland 2016 Anthology

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  “I’m not interested in stunts or pranks.”

  “Just the truth?”

  “Just you.” Her eyes widened at my words and her breath caught. I watched as she tried to rein in her reaction, tried to brush it off as if it hadn’t affected her at all.

  “Fine. You’re on. How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

  “Sixteen,” I answered immediately. “Couldn’t start with something less personal, like favorite food?”

  “Your tongue’s been in my mouth,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “Trust me,” I said, letting my eyes roam her entire body, hoping to make her squirm, “I remember.” When I saw her shift her weight from one side to the other and her cheeks pink up again, I considered it a job well done. “When did you lose your virginity?”

  “Seventeen. He’d been my boyfriend for three years. He dumped me two weeks later.”

  “Well, he sounds like an asshole.”

  “I’d drink to that if I didn’t hate your favorite beer.” She smiled at me playfully. “Okay, um, worst way you ever dumped a girl?”

  “You can’t be serious. I plead the fifth. There’s no way to answer that question without incriminating myself or making myself look like a jerk.”

  Her eyes narrowed and she nodded slowly. “I see. You’re a bad breaker-upper. I probably should have seen this coming. I did witness the Sophia debacle.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Can we not talk about Sophia? Using her as an example is like, I don’t know, claiming watermelon Jolly Ranchers actually taste like watermelon.”

  “What are you saying? Sophia didn’t taste right?” She asked the question with a smile, playfully, so I took that cue from her and moved to close the distance between us. I pushed off the counter and my hands went right to her knees, sliding up her thighs a little, my hips fitting between her legs.

  “I know you tasted better.”

  She sucked in a quick breath and her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips, but she didn’t pull back. She didn’t close herself off or push me away; in fact, she leaned into me, just barely.

  “You tasted like cotton candy,” I said softly, my gaze unable to stay off her lips. “And Hefeweizen.”

  “That sounds gross,” she whispered.

  “It was fucking amazing.” I reached up slowly and thumbed her bottom lip, loving the way she sucked in another breath when I touched her. “And I imagine if I were to kiss you right now, you might taste like Guinness.” I watched as her lips pulled up into a smile.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She laughed.

  I nodded and moved my gaze from her lips to her eyes, glad to see her smile extended to them. “May I? In the name of kissing and research?”

  She rolled her eyes playfully, shrugged, then said, “I guess. But only for the sake of science.”

  “Right,” I whispered, leaning in. “Science.”

  One thing became clear the moment our mouths connected: the only time in the last twenty-four hours Riley was being completely honest with me was when we were kissing. Her kisses were real and the way she moved her mouth against mine left me feeling as though she felt just as connected as I did, not as if we were too different or too wrong for each other. The way she kissed me only cemented the fact that together we were perfect.

  Just like the first kiss, this one was effortlessly spectacular. Her lips fit perfectly against mine, moved in rhythm with mine, tasted perfect, like Guinness and Riley and lip gloss. Her face was the perfect shape to fit right into the palms of my hands, and her legs were made to wrap around my waist, just like they did that very moment.

  I knew she’d feel amazing in my arms, that the smallness of her would be the biggest turn-on I’d ever experienced. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body closer to mine so that she was barely balancing on the edge of the counter. My mouth moved over hers and her fingers twined in my hair as she let out a small moan.

  The smooth fabric of her blouse glided underneath my fingers as I brought my hands around her waist, finding the tiny pearl buttons along the front. I absentmindedly played with the bottom one, then pulled my mouth just far enough from hers to ask, “May I?”

  Her breaths panted out quickly, but her response took a few moments, my heart thundering a thousand beats with every passing second. I didn’t want her to pull away, but I also didn’t want her to feel pressured. Fuck, I wanted her to be on the same page as me; I wanted her to want this as much as I did. Finally she nodded, and then immediately pressed her mouth against mine again. I’d never been so good at unbuttoning blouses as I was in that moment, each one sliding through my fingers and falling open, obviously on my side.

  When her blouse slid off her shoulders and caught in the crook of her elbows, I managed to pull away, wanting to see her.

  Fuck me twice.

  “You can’t be real,” I whispered, unsure why I let the words slip out, but meaning them even so. Her perfect breasts sat in a sexy-as-fuck white lace bra. No deceiving pillows or pads, no pushing up, just her perfect fucking tits beautifully displayed. Through the delicate lace, her pert pink nipples were hard and looked as though they might ache from want.

  My hand cupped her over the lace, bringing the gorgeous mound to my mouth so I could taste the top swell, my thumb teasing the hard nub.

  She moaned again, her back arching into me, offering me more, asking me to take so much more. My fingers slipped beneath both straps and slowly slid them over her soft shoulders, the lace peeling away, both of her breasts rising and falling with the quickness of her breathing. Her arms were trapped by her shirt and the straps of her bra, but her eyes were begging me to continue. Her palms rested on the counter and she offered herself to me.

  I bent and lowered my mouth to hers, my tongue tracing her lips, her teeth, tentatively tangling with hers as my hands moved to cup her breasts. The warm, soft flesh fit perfectly in my hands, as I’d expected, because everything about Riley was perfect for me. I pulled my mouth from hers, but only to taste her nipple. I sucked one in and the sound she made, the moan mixed with a whimper, went straight to my dick.

  “Oh, God,” she whispered as I drew her farther into my mouth, my other hand still palming and teasing her. “This is crazy,” she continued, her neck bent back, chest still open and waiting for me. My mouth moved from her breast to leave openmouthed kisses all along her chest, up and over her collarbone, and up her neck, focusing then on the soft skin right below her ear.

  “Please,” I said between kisses, “please tell me I can take you to bed.” My hands still worked her breasts, but I wanted to feel all of her against all of me. I wanted to lay her out and focus on every part of her.

  “We can’t,” she panted. I groaned, torn between respecting her wishes and begging like a teenage boy. “I’m sorry,” she said immediately.

  “No,” I replied, pulling away from her, trying to keep my eyes north. I would respect her but that didn’t mean I would torture myself with the sight of her perfect naked breasts. “Don’t apologize.” I let out a large breath and pulled the straps of her bra up, watching the lace cover her again, hoping to fucking God I’d get a chance to taste them again.

  “It’s just, well, we only met last night.” I looked in her eyes as she pulled her shirt closed, now looking embarrassed and ashamed.

  “Hey.” I moved into her again, my hips forcing her knees to open wider, and brought my hands to each side of her neck. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, nothing to be ashamed of. I understand and I’m glad you stopped me.” I leaned in, hoping she wouldn’t stop me, and pressed a gentle kiss against her lips. “Don’t hate me for saying this,” I said, then kissed her again. “But you have fantastic tits.” Lucky for me, she laughed.

  “Thanks,” she said, laughing and blushing at the same time.

  “I should be the one thanking you,” I said, watching as she shyly buttoned her shirt back up. I watched her beautiful skin disappear with every button, silently mourning each one. I didn
’t miss it when her eyes darted down to my crotch, or the way her eyes widened when she saw the bulge of my erection there.

  “Um, no. I think you’re in worse shape than me.”

  I shrugged, trying to play off the uncomfortable way my cock was being strangled by my pants. “Nothing a cold shower won’t take care of.” Lies. As soon as I was alone I’d be rubbing one out. Not even cold water would tame that erection.

  All put back together, she hopped off my counter, straightening her shirt, trying to erase the evidence that I’d been thoroughly in there just moments before. I reached out for her hand and pulled her against me. “Hey,” I said, tucking some hair behind her ear, “you all right?”

  She smiled up at me, perfect white teeth shining, “I’m fine. I’m just not used to everything moving so quickly.”

  “Me, either,” I said, letting my thumb move over her chin, liking the way her eyelids fluttered slightly as it did. “Can I see you again this week? Take you out for dinner?”

  The light faded from her eyes and the smile fell from her lips. “Um, I’m not sure, I’ll have to check my schedule.” She said the words and then she pulled away from me and suddenly everything felt different. “This week’s not really good for me.”

  “Okay,” I said, confused at the way she went from pliant in my hands to awkwardly trying to wiggle out of the conversation. “How about this weekend? I know you lost at Skee-Ball, but I’d still love to take you to a game.” I hoped a little joke would reel her back in.

  “This weekend’s no good either.” She was fidgeting and looked around until she spotted her purse on the coffee table in the living room. She beelined for it and I turned, watching her. “You know what? How about I e-mail you when I get some free time?”

  “You’ll e-mail me when you get some free time? Riley, come on….” My words trailed off as I was left utterly confused by the abrupt change in her.

  “It’s really bad timing right now. I just got my promotion, work is crazy.” She gave me a weak smile and headed for the door. She was literally rushing to get away from me.

  “Riley, wait. I’ll drive you home.”

  “No, it’s fine. I’ll Uber it.”

  “Jesus, you were just topless in my kitchen. I’ll fucking drive you home.” I didn’t mean to swear, but she was acting like she couldn’t get away from me fast enough, like nothing had happened between us.

  “Cam, it’s fine. I promise. I use Uber all the time.”

  “Can we talk about this?” I stepped toward her, trying to come between her and the door.

  “There’s nothing to talk about,” she replied, giving me a fake smile.

  “Riley,” I pleaded, “I’m sorry. If I pushed you too far, or make you feel like we needed to—”

  “No, Cam, really. Everything’s fine. I need to go.”

  I realized in that moment, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I had to let her go. No matter how much more I wanted from her, I wasn’t going to keep a woman in my home against her will. I pushed my hands into my pockets and took a step back from the door. She moved to the door and I watched her go, feeling helpless and confused. Just before the door closed she turned and looked back at me. I wanted to ask her to wait, to stay, to talk to me and explain what I’d done wrong, what she was running from, give me a chance to apologize at least. But I said nothing and she didn’t either. She closed the door with something that looked like regret written across her face, and I wondered if I’d ever see her again.

  Chapter Five

  Riley

  It had been over a week since the evening I’d spent with Camden. A week and two days, actually. But who was counting? I hadn’t reached out to him, hadn’t e-mailed him, texted, or called. And sometimes it had been necessary to hide my phone from myself in order to keep it that way. He’d sent me one text the morning after I’d run from his condo.

  **I hope you’ll give me a chance to apologize for whatever I did to make you run from me last night. I don’t know what happened, but I do know I’d hate to never see you again. Please, just text me or something this week.**

  That had been the only message I’d gotten from him, and even though I appreciated the fact that he was giving me the space I’d asked for, I couldn’t ignore the large part of me that wished he’d find me again, find a way to make me see him, to force me to explain everything to him. Because maybe he’d be able to convince my brain that it was being ridiculous.

  It was Sunday morning and I’d been lying in bed avoiding the day. When my phone pinged on my nightstand, my heart thumped rapidly, both hoping for and dreading a text from Camden.

  **Hey, you’ve been avoiding me all week. Meet me for brunch, bitch.**

  I smiled at Hadley’s demand, and couldn’t think of a better way to spend my afternoon than brunching with my best friend. I was in desperate need of a mimosa.

  **I’ll meet you at Toast in an hour.**

  **See you then!**

  Toast was always terribly busy, especially since they were only open for brunch on the weekends, but Hadley had hooked up with one of the waiters a few times in college and he always gave us the first spot in line. It was one of the few times in life when her previously wild ways had some long-term benefits. As I sipped my mimosa, I silently toasted Hadley’s choice in sexual partners during college.

  “So,” she said before she popped a piece of her brioche French toast in her mouth, “why’ve you been so quiet this week?”

  I shrugged. “Just trying to stay on top of work. I can’t disappoint everyone now that I’ve got this promotion.”

  “Uh-huh,” she said, nodding and chewing. “Great, thanks for the bullshit answer, now tell me the truth.”

  I laughed, always appreciative of the way Hadley never minced words. “That is the truth.”

  “That’s half the truth, and you know it. You can’t fool me. You went on that date with Camden on Friday and then you went into communication blackout. I was this close to sending up smoke signals.” She held her thumb and forefinger up. I considered myself lucky she didn’t end the gesture with the middle one. I decided to give in to her because, honestly, I knew that’s what would happen when I agreed to meet her. I knew she’d ask and I’d tell. That’s how our relationship worked.

  I let out a large sigh, placing my napkin on the table and leaning back in my chair. “The date was perfect. He was funny, smart, polite, and he wasn’t doing that stupid thing guys do where they try to seem uninterested. I could tell he was excited to see me and that made me feel great,” I said, my mind wandering back to how wanted Camden made me feel. “But I realized early on it wouldn’t ever work with us. There was too much about us that was different.”

  “Mmm hmmm, like what?” she asked before lifting her champagne flute to her mouth, sipping like she was at a tea party and not a brunch on her third drink, pinky high, right up there with her nose, making me smile.

  “You should have seen his car, Hadley. He called it the Batmobile and he wasn’t joking. It probably cost more than my undergrad degree.”

  “And?”

  “And he lives in a condo on the river in a sky rise.”

  She blinked at me, waiting for me to continue.

  “He’s the mayor’s son, he’s a lawyer, he’s smart and funny and sexy and perfect, and it just wouldn’t work.”

  Hadley finished her mimosa, used her napkin to wipe the corners of her mouth, and she cleared her throat. Then she narrowed her gaze at me. “There are a few things about your statements that bother me. Let’s go over them, shall we?” She didn’t wait for me to agree before she plowed forward with her argument. “You’re sexy and funny and smart and perfect, so you can’t base your decision to not see him anymore on the fact that you’re too different because that, my friend, is a load of bullshit. I imagine the difference you’re alluding to is the fact that he has money and you don’t. So, I ask you this, did he ever make you feel like your lack of money was a problem?” She didn’t give me a chance
to answer. “Of course he didn’t, because one of the very first things you said about him today was that he wanted you, Riley.”

  “Yeah, wanted me, but being physically attracted to someone doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Come on, Riley. Give yourself a little more credit than that. I saw you guys at that game. Sure, he thought you were gorgeous, because you are, but it was more than that. You guys clicked.”

  “We kissed,” I corrected.

  “Yeah,” she agreed with a little more enthusiasm than I expected, “and how’d that go?”

  My mind wandered back to that first kiss in the arena. The one that started out of obligation and pressure from the crowd, but grew from heat and need. I shook the memory from my head. “A kiss doesn’t automatically mean we have to be together.”

  “Well, I think you’re being ridiculous.”

  “I’ve never been with anyone like him before, Had. I don’t go to fancy parties with socialites, I plan those parties. He’s upper-class and I’m just….”

  “Classy,” she supplied, her voice softer than it had been.

  I shook my head. “I’m fun, and I’m sassy, and I’m clever, but I wouldn’t fit into his world.”

  She sighed and fell back into her chair. “Well, best friend, I think you’re making a mistake, but I’ll stop harassing you about it. But, I have a feeling, if you gave him a chance, he’d make you his whole world.”

  I didn’t respond, mostly because a part of me was pretty sure she was right. And that was terrifying.

  When our food had been eaten and all the mimosas had been drunk, Hadley left me with a knowing look that told me to reach out to Camden. I wasn’t sure, yet, what my next move was, but I knew I wasn’t ready to go back home and mope. So I took an Uber to my favorite bookstore and wandered the aisles. Sunday was a busy day in Portland proper, so I liked to hang out on the outskirts. There was still plenty to do on the east side of the city, and far less people.

  I found a little corner in the bookstore with an armchair next to a window, took a seat, and read half a book. It was the most relaxed I’d been all week. The three mimosas had helped, and so had the reading therapy, but after I’d bought a month’s worth of books and a coffee to go, I still didn’t know what I was going to do about Camden.

 

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