My Valiant Knight

by Hannah Howell

  “I swear to keep my body’s humors where they belong from now on.” He laughed, then grimaced when it made him cough. “Now, one or both of you lads are going to have to gird your wee loins and go and talk to your cousin.”

  “Wee loins?” Michael grumbled, but both Ronald and Justice ignored him.

  “Our aunt and cousin have been urging the same,” murmured Justice.

  “Then why do ye hesitate?” demanded Ronald. “With each day that passes, Duggan is able to strengthen his defense.”

  “True, but do you think he believes we will attack? He acted so victorious that day. He may believe he has beaten us.”

  “He will still be strengthening his defenses. The mon and the people of Kengarvey have become verra skilled at rebuilding. True, ‘tis with wood, which can be burned, but there is good solid stone there as weel. ’Tisna as easy as ye may think to bring down Kengarvey.”

  “Alright.” Justice stood up and yanked Michael to his feet. “We will go and speak to Gabel. The time has come to face the king and learn just what must be done. If naught else, if Gabel feels a need to aid Ainslee, he cannot do it from his bedchamber.”

  Gabel stared out of the narrow window in his bedchamber, cursing his inability to act, yet not moving. His mind was filled with the images of Ainslee helpless on the ground as her father kicked her. It was an image that had haunted his dreams. He had failed her. He had failed his king. About the only good that had come out of that day at the river had been that he had managed to save Ronald’s life, but the man would not have been injured if he had not been such a fool.

  What kept Gabel locked in his thoughts, his black mood of despair deepening every day, was the knowledge that he had made a great error, and not just in his confrontation with Duggan MacNairn. He now knew that he should never have let Ainslee go. At the river that day his mistake had been both strategic and emotional. He had cut out his own heart, and he saw no hope of mending the wound.

  He sighed when a soft rap came at his door. His command to go away was ignored, and he turned to scowl at Michael and Justice when they entered the room. Caught up in his own thoughts and misery, he not only found it difficult to deal with anyone, but irritating.

  “I will not be good company,” he warned as he went to a small table and poured himself a tankard of wine from the jug set there.

  “Oh, we are fully aware of that,” replied Justice as he moved to do the same. “ ’Tis why we have all left you alone for a full week. ’Tis time to set aside our cowardice, however.”

  “A week?” Gabel asked in a stunned voice, trying to recall how many days had passed and alarmed to find that he had no idea.

  “Aye, a week. You came in here to hide the moment we returned to Bellefleur, and no one has seen or heard much from you.”

  “Aye,” agreed Michael. “You bellow for food and drink and have inquired about Ronald a time or two, although even that ceased when you were assured that he would live.”

  “A week,” Gabel muttered and sank down on his bed.

  Justice cursed and sat down beside him as Michael helped himself to some wine. “Must I lay hands upon you and shake you to wake you from this moody sleep?”

  “Nay.” Gabel took a long drink of wine and then looked at his cousin. “I but lost count of the days.”

  “We began to think you may have lost your mind, but assured ourselves that you would never take a defeat so hard.”

  Gabel cursed and stood up to pace the room. “ ’Twas not the defeat, although that was a fool’s errand and a bigger fool’s mistake. I was so intent on protecting everyone from any possible treachery that I did not consider how well such a place could also protect MacNairn.”

  “I should not beat myself too severely about that, as I do not believe there was any other place that would have proven better. They all had weaknesses, and most had ones that could have proven deadly to us. Aye, and MacNairn is an arrogant, treacherous dog who has a skill of making defeat taste as bitter as it can.” Justice took a deep breath and ventured, “I do not believe it is the defeat which has cast you into such a dark mood.”

  “Nay,” confessed Gabel as he turned to face his cousin. “Not seeing MacNairn’s treachery was not the only mistake I made that day, and I believe it was not the most grievous either.”

  “Nay, it was sending that poor girl to her father and then having to watch the man murder her,” said Michael as he sat down next to Justice.

  “She was alive,” Gabel snapped.

  “Well, aye, I meant to say that he almost murdered her.”

  “I am sorry,” Gabel said, smiling weakly at his wary young cousin. “I have spent too many hours fearing that she is dead, that I did see her murdered. Reminding myself that I saw her move no longer holds the ability to ease that fear. Aye, I should ne’er have sent Ainslee back to her father.”

  “Because you wanted her for yourself,” said Justice, watching Gabel closely. “You could not have kept her as your leman forever. Ainslee MacNairn is not a woman to quietly sit in a cottage somewhere and wait for you to tiptoe away from your wife and spend a few hours with her.”

  The distasteful picture Justice drew made Gabel grimace, and he was ashamed to admit that he had contemplated just such an arrangement a time or two. “Nay, Ainslee would never allow that. She would probably have cut my throat if I had even suggested it.” He sprawled in a chair facing the bed and stared into his wine. “Nay, my mistake was in thinking that I could ne’er take a woman like her to wife, that somehow that would hurt Bellefleur.”

  “Why should you think such a thing?”

  “Because she is a MacNairn?” Gabel smiled faintly when Justice grimaced and nodded. “There was also that fact that she could bring nothing to the marriage save herself. I am not a greedy man, but I had everything planned so carefully, from how much coin my bride should have to where her lands should be. I also considered the power and prestige her family should have. As I watched Ainslee ride into her father’s brutal grasp just to save my arrogant hide, I realized how useless all of that is, and how little I need it.”

  “You certainly are not in need of a bride with a heavy purse, and Bellefleur is surrounded by good fields, so, nay, you do not need more land. Howbeit, you cannot fault yourself for thinking that that is what one must look for in a bride. ’Tis what we all do. One does not just marry for the begetting of children, but for gain.”

  Gabel shrugged. “True, but I did not need to be such a slave to my own plans. Nay, each time I thought I was softening, each time the mere thought of keeping her slipped into my mind, I berated myself and convinced myself that I needed that sort of bride for Bellefleur, that I was doing it all for Bellefleur.”

  “And you were not?” Michael asked.

  “Nay, I was not. I was doing it because the bride I had planned to take was one of duty. A man does not take a bride like Ainslee out of duty.”

  “Ah, I see.” Michael nodded. “You love the girl.”

  “Quick, is he not?” drawled Justice, ignoring Michael’s scowl over the insult. “You were not so quick yourself, cousin, if you did not realize what you felt for the girl until she was back in her father’s ungentle hands.”

  “Oh, I believe I suspected what was in my heart from shortly after I brought her to Bellefleur.” Gabel shook his head. “I was determined not to let emotion rule me, however, and Ainslee was all emotion.”

  “Ah, so she loves you as well,” said Michael, smiling until Justice patted him on the head.

  “Such a sweet, simple lad,” Justice murmured, and ducked when Michael tried to hit him.

  “Leave him be, Justice,” ordered Gabel, although he found he was able to smile at his cousins’ antics. “Your goading of Michael is no help at the moment. I do not know if she loves me, Michael. I never asked, and she never said anything.”

  “She bedded down with you.”

  “Passion.”

  “Nay. Well, aye, there had to be that. I meant nay, Ainslee MacNairn is no
whore or light-moraled girl. I was her guard for most of her stay. I cannot see her bedding down with you just because you made her feel somewhat lustful. She has far too much pride for that.”

  “I think the boy has actually spoken with some keenness of wit,” Justice said. “Nay, Ainslee MacNairn may not have said anything about what was in her heart, but it had to be more than passion. Mayhaps she felt you did not want to know.”

  For a long moment Gabel just stared at Justice as he mulled that over in his mind, his emotions tumbling around inside of him as he began to see the truth of it. He had not asked Ainslee for anything save her passion, and she gave him that in full measure. In the last few days he had tried to pull some vow from her, but, as he thought over his words, he could see how she simply would not have realized what he was trying to make her say. Since, at that time, he had not wanted to be forced to answer in kind, he had been far too subtle.

  “Curse my idiocy,” he said after taking a long drink of wine. “Nay, I did not act like a man who had any interest in the true state of her heart. If there was any more to what she felt than the fierce passion neither of us had the strength to resist, I undoubtedly left her afraid to tell me. I certainly gave her no reason to think I was interested.”

  “ ’Tis a common mistake between lovers,” Justice reassured him. “After all, who wishes to be the first to bear his heart and soul? Think of the humiliation of doing so, only to find that it is not returned in kind and may never be. And, with Ainslee, she also knew that she would not even be staying here. We never gave her any choice, but to return to Kengarvey.”

  “Aye,” agreed Michael. “That plan never changed, so why should she tell you anything? As far as she knew, how she felt or did not feel about you would make no difference.”

  “And all of this discussion makes no difference either,” Gabel said as he stood up. “I made a mistake—nay, I made two—I was not as wary as I should have been with MacNairn, and I gave him the only thing I value. I must count myself fortunate that he does not know that. And I must cease to sulk in my room and do something.”

  “That is what Ronald said.”

  “Is it,” Gabel murmured, and then laughed when Justice grinned and nodded. “That old man grows too comfortable.”

  “He calls you laddie,” drawled Justice.

  “Far too comfortable. Well, the first thing I will do will be to go and assure him that I am no longer gazing blindly at my walls and pitying myself, and that I will do my best to get his lassie back. You two can go and make the preparations for a journey. We will ride to the king’s court on the morrow. ’Tis past time I cease hiding from him as well.”

  “I know you are not asleep,” Gabel said as he stood by Ronald’s bed and stared down at the man.

  Ronald warily opened one eye and looked up at Gabel. “Ye are a braw laddie, arenae ye. Ye could cause an old mon to suffer quite a fright by looming o’er his deathbed like that.”

  “You are not dying.” Gabel sat down on the edge of the man’s bed. “You sent my cousins to berate me.”

  “Not to berate you, but to wake ye up, to do something to make ye see that time is slipping by.”

  “Aye. I had not realized how much time had gone by. I was too soaked in my own self-pity and wounded pride.” He shook his head. “There were so many mistakes, I did not know how to atone for them.”

  “Ye have naught to atone for, Ye certainly arena the only one who has been tricked by that bastard MacNairn. Nay, and ye are certainly not the first mon not to ken what he wants until he has lost it ”

  “Do you think I have lost Ainslee?” Gabel asked, making no attempt to deny Ronald’s assumption or hide his feelings. Hiding his feelings had gained him nothing, and may well have cost him more than he dared consider.

  Ronald shook his head. “Nay, laddie. Ye need not worry that being a great fool has cost ye the lass. Weel, if she is still alive.”

  “She is.”

  “Young Michael wasna so sure.”

  “I saw her move as her brother Colin tended to her.”

  “Ah, so he was in time again. Howbeit, that doesna mean she is safe.”

  Gabel reached out to pat the man’s hands, stilling their fretful movements. “Ainslee has survived in that place for many years. I am sure she can survive for a few weeks longer.”

  “Do ye think it will be only a few weeks ere ye can go after her? ’Tis a poor time of the year to ride to a battle.”

  “Only if the weather turns sour. We are being blessed with a mild season. I can but pray that it continues; if it does, we will ride for Kengarvey as soon as we have the king’s orders.”

  Ronald sighed. “He will want the whole clan put to the sword.”

  “At first, but the king is not a man who craves the blood of all his enemies’ kinsmen. He has never held the belief that you must kill everyone to protect yourself. ‘Tis Duggan MacNairn he wants. I may not be able to save MacNairn’s sons, but I will try, for Ainslee’s sake. I am hoping that, since the sons have ne’er been condemned by name, if I bring the king Duggan MacNairn’s head, ’twill be enough. I just wish that the head I needed to pacify my liege lord was not the head of Ainslee’s father.”

  “Ye must do as the king wills ye to.”

  “Aye, I must. I must also try to keep away all the carrion who may wish to ride along, the ones who wish to see no MacNairn live. I do not wish to be part of a bloodbath.”

  Ronald smiled sadly. “That may weel be impossible. The only thing Duggan has e’er done with any great success, is to make most of Scotland wish to kill him and anyone who fights with him or shares his blood. The mon is verra good at making folk hate him, deeply and lastingly.”

  Gabel nodded sadly in agreement as he stood up. “I can only promise to do my best to save as many as possible. I thought you should know that, and I did rather hope that you might be able to assure me that Ainslee will be safe. That was foolish.”

  “I can only remind ye that she is a clever, strong lass. If any can survive there, e’en with Duggan angry at her, she can.”

  “Rest, Ronald. I pray I can bring you good news shortly.”

  “Never mind the news—bring me my lassie.”

  Gabel took a deep breath and walked into the great hall of Edinburgh Castle, where the king awaited him. It had taken three days to reach the king, and then three days before the king had agreed to see him. Gabel prayed that that was not a sign of disfavor. Even though he had to give the man bad news, he needed the king to be in a mood that could allow some mercy.

  There was little sign of mercy on the king’s face, as Gabel bowed before him. At the man’s right stood Fraser, and Gabel was sure the king had been told all about the failure to bring Duggan MacNairn to heel. The look of gloating on Fraser’s face warned Gabel that he would have a great many lies to battle, and Fraser was confident that not all of them could be successfully disputed.

  “It appears that the outlaw MacNairn has succeeded in making a fool of you, Sir Gabel,” the king said, his tone of voice almost pleasant as he watched Gabel closely.

  That stung his pride, but Gabel decided that the complete truth would only aid him now. “He did, my liege.” He almost smiled at the way the king’s brows rose slightly in a gesture of surprise and Fraser scowled. “I planned well to protect my men, but that plan also allowed MacNairn to play his low tricks and flee without penalty. I was well warned about the clever treachery MacNairn is capable of, but I think I did not believe all of the tales.”

  “And now you do?”

  “Aye, my liege. I do learn from my mistakes.”

  “And so you feel you could face the man again and be victorious?”

  “If I must pull Kengarvey down stick by stick and stone by stone, I will either kill the man or capture him and bring him to you to face punishment. I gave him his chance to save himself, and he did not take it.”

  The king nodded and rubbed his chin. “I want Kengarvey taken down piece by filthy piece, e’en if you have al
ready cut down Duggan MacNairn. I want that thieves’ nest razed to the ground.”

  “And what of the people?” Gabel asked quietly.

  “What of them? They are thieves as well.”

  “I believe they are mostly a people who are so in terror of their laird they will do most anything he asks. ’Tis MacNairn himself and a few of his followers who are the trouble. No one dares to speak against anything the man does, for he becomes so enraged, he murders them. There are few surer ways to insure that no one ever argues with you.”

  The king smiled faintly. “Nay, ’twould certainly silence a carping tongue. You are asking me to show mercy.”

  “Aye, my liege, I am.”

  “Mercy?” bellowed Fraser, taking a step toward Gabel. “How can ye e‘en ask for mercy? E’en that whore of a daughter MacNairn left to rot at Bellefleur deserves no mercy. Kengarvey is naught but a nest of vermin and ’tis long past due a thorough cleaning-out.”

  It was hard, but Gabel fought the urge to strike at Fraser for his insults to Ainslee. The way the king looked from him to Fraser and back again, told him that his sire had guessed at the animosity between them. He had no time to deal with the arrogant, foul-mouthed Fraser, however, for he was desperate to save Ainslee’s life and the lives of as many of the innocent people of Kengarvey as he could.

  “Not everyone at Kengarvey deserves to be put to the sword, my liege,” Gabel said to his king.

  “Would you even keep his sons alive?” asked the king.

  “If they gave me their word that they will honor the treaty their father treated with such contempt.”

  “And you have good reason to believe they will? You are not making your judgement upon what some fair lass whispered in your ear as you lay in each other’s arms?”

  “Nay. I but ask the chance to offer life to any of the people of Kengarvey who do not fight me, and who are willing to swear their allegiance to you.”

  “And to you,” the king murmured, “for I have decided that you deserve the lands. Therefore, any who survive the battle will be your people, and you will carry the weight and responsibility for their deeds.” The king waved Gabel away. “I will tell you what I wish this evening. I need to consider the matter.”