by M. V. Kasi
Shilpa didn’t say anything. She simply stared out again, the feeling inside her chest getting tighter and tighter as she hardened herself.
JUST BEFORE THE jet landed, Shilpa felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Ma’am, its DJ. He wants to talk to you.”
Shilpa hesitated before taking the receiver from the air hostess.
“Shilpa?”
Shilpa almost broke down in tears when she heard Dhruv’s voice.
“Can you hear me?” he asked.
“Yes, Dhruv,” she somehow choked out. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine. Ma said you left a few hours ago.” His tone didn’t sound accusatory. He was merely stating a fact.
“Yes. I had something important come up at work.”
She could hear the sounds of people talking around Dhruv get louder. “I just called to say not to worry about me, babe. Too many damn people trying to take care of me here,” he grumbled. “Take care of yourself. I’ll come see you as soon as possible.”
Chapter 30
After dropping Ma off at her place, Shilpa went home and changed to go back to work. Considering she didn’t have enough sleep during the last few days—when she had sat next to Dhruv, watching his chest rise and fall, ensuring he was breathing and alive—she knew she would crash anytime soon.
She was right. She returned home by evening and simply crashed.
SHE WOKE UP to the noise of a ringing phone as well as the ringing doorbell. When she looked at the clock, she realized it was close to ten in the morning. She didn’t feel that well due to her lack of sleep, so she knew she would call in sick and take rest.
Leaving the phone ringing, she got out of the bed and went to answer the door.
As soon as she opened the door, she was swept into arms. The familiar smell of the cologne and the familiar feel of the embrace made her eyes prickle.
“Finally!” said Dhruv, increasing the pressure of the hug.
Shilpa hugged him back, her mind rejoicing the fact that he was healthy and back into her arms again.
One of his hands tugged at her hair, and his mouth met hers in a deep kiss. Her heart began to thud even harder when she felt Dhruv’s hands slipping under her night shirt and cupping her bare breasts. An involuntary moan escaped her mouth.
Wrenching her mouth away from his and struggling slightly in his arms, she managed to step away. “I’m tired, Dhruv,” she said.
Dhruv stared at her with a slightly dazed and confused look. She didn’t blame him. Each time they were apart and met again, within minutes of their meeting, they had made wild, passionate love.
He shook his head. “Sorry, babe. I missed you so much. I really didn’t think about you barely getting any rest.” He smiled tenderly. “My mother told me how you sat next to me all day and even during the night while I was at the hospital.”
Shilpa just nodded.
His eyes fell on her face, and a concerned frown marred his forehead. “You look like hell. You really need to get some rest. Let’s go.” He tugged her towards her bedroom.
Shilpa didn’t have the heart or energy to say anything to him right then. She went along with him. When they reached her bed, he removed his shirt and pants. With just his boxers on, he slid onto her mattress.
“Coming?” he asked with a smile.
Shilpa stared at his happy yet slightly tired face. She knew he must have argued with the doctors and his well-wishers not to rest longer. He must have barely rested before he traveled to be with her.
With her throat feeling tight, she slid into her bed next to him. He pulled her close before letting out a long satisfied sigh. Despite her mind and heart churning with thoughts and emotions, Shilpa slid into a deep sleep.
IT WAS STILL slightly dark outside when Shilpa woke up. Dhruv was still fast asleep, snoring softly in her ears. Dhruv’s phone was ringing. Shilpa must have woken to that sound. Soon, the ringing stopped. But Shilpa’s phone began to ring.
She reached over to her nightstand and saw Viren’s number flashing on the screen.
With a frown, Shilpa answered it.
“Shilpa?”
“Yes, Viren.”
“Shilpa, please remain inside. Ask Dhruv to remain with you for a while as well.”
Shilpa’s heart began to pound. “What happened?” Were they being attacked? Did any number of dozens of influential drug peddlers or criminals she had put behind bars during her career decide to attack her?
“Your apartment is surrounded by reporters and angry fans.”
The word reporters and fans threw her off. So did the word ‘angry’.
Dhruv woke up next to her. “Who is it?”
“It’s Viren,” she replied
Shilpa handed the phone to Dhruv.
“What happened?” Dhruv asked his bodyguard.
Meantime, Shilpa slid out of bed and went towards the noise she could hear coming through the bedroom windows. She was shocked at seeing the crowd outside. There were dozens of people with cameras. And Viren was right, some of the people within the crowd looked pissed.
Someone spotted her, and immediately a lot of flashes went off.
“Shilpa! Get away from the window!” Dhruv said.
He got up and closed the curtains on both the windows.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Dhruv looked grim. Some nosy reporter followed me here. He found out who you are and put it on social media. It’s also in the news now.”
Shilpa was taken aback.
“That’s not it, babe. People are pissed at you. They think I might be cheating on Tina with you.”
Dhruv began to pace. “Shit. I knew they would find out about us eventually. I shouldn’t have been selfish and kept you as my secret for this long. I should have prepared a better way to tell the world about us.”
He stopped and took a deep breath. “Shiv is working with Neeru and my PR team, doing the damage control. This is going to be sorted soon. We’ll just have to stay inside until it does.”
“Damage control how?” Shilpa asked.
“Tina just gave a statement that she and I are just good friends and nothing more. She even mentioned that she and you are good friends, too, and that she referred your name to take advice for my upcoming movie.”
Although Tina’s statement would help the situation immensely, Dhruv still looked worried. And Shilpa knew he was worried for her rather than for himself. He was used to things like this. So it broke Shilpa’s heart for having to do what she was going to do next.
“I want you to leave, Dhruv.”
“That’ll not help, Shilpa. Those reporters will remain outside to get a picture of you.”
“I don’t care. I have had enough of this. Enough of us.”
“What?” He looked confused.
She let out a deep sigh. “We had our fun, but it has run its course now. This has gone too far, and it might even impact my career. I don’t think us having an affair is worth all this trouble.”
Dhruv had stilled as soon as he heard her use the word ‘fun’.
“What’s going on?” he asked in a grim tone.
“Apart from the circus outside?”
“I told you it’s going to be sorted soon.”
“And then what? We continue to meet in secret, just to satisfy our lusts and attraction? I think we should call it a day when we can before more such incidents happen.”
“So what if more such incidents happen? We’ll eventually be together anyway.”
She kept silent and didn’t indicate whether or not she agreed with him.
“What we have between us is not just attraction, Shilpa. You know very well I love you. And I know you love me, too.”
She shook her head firmly. “No. I already had my one big love before, Dhruv. I can’t love anyone again. I’m not capable of it.”
He kept his gaze locked on hers. “That’s bullshit. People have unlimited capacity to love once again. And I know you love me.”
His jaw was clenched. “Yes, I admit I had a lot of flings before meeting you.”
“Then why are you making this any different? I doubt if I have a golden vagina or am that good in bed or that special for a big celebrity like you.” She was being deliberately crude.
“Don’t put yourself down,” he gritted.
“I’m not. All I’m asking is why not end our fling like how you ended those others? Why ruin what we had by trying to make it seem like something meaningful?”
“Because it is meaningful, dammit!” he shouted. “I love you. And I want to build my life with you!”
She kept shaking her head as though that would help in not allowing his words to affect her resolve. “Just leave. Go back home, Dhruv.”
“You are my home.”
That softly uttered four-word sentence shook her so much she could barely stand straight. Because she knew it was the truth. Even though they were apart for most weeks over the past two months, each time she was with him, it felt like home. Like she belonged with him. Like they belonged together.
But she forced herself to remember how she felt when she thought she lost him. “I’m sorry. Just let me live in peace,” she whispered and walked away.
She went into another room and shut the door, locking it from the inside.
AN HOUR LATER, she heard the soft click of her main door opening and shutting. She knew Dhruv had left.
Shilpa held her emotions at bay until she made her usual nightly call. Nothing gave her away while Ma chatted about random things. When the call ended, Shilpa got up from the couch. She barely took a couple of steps when it all flooded. Her heartbreak. The fear. The pain of hurting the man she loved.
She bowled over and collapsed on her knees. When the first tear fell, it let everything loose. And once she began crying, she couldn’t stop. Big ugly sobs. The last time she had cried that way was when she came back from Pranit’s funeral and locked herself in the room for two days.
She had promised herself then that she would never love anyone again. But her heart had betrayed her.
Chapter 31
Another week passed. Shilpa was spending the day with Ma. It was Pranit’s birth anniversary. And just like Ma did over the past five years, she wanted to celebrate her son’s achievements rather than mourn his loss.
Shilpa and Ma donated homemade food at a children’s orphanage before heading back and having lunch together. After the heavy lunch, Shilpa settled on the couch while Ma surfed through the channels.
Shilpa’s heart skipped a beat when Ma stopped at a channel where Dhruv’s latest interview was being telecast.
Dhruv looked stunningly handsome, yet he looked different. Because he looked grim. His normal charming and cocky smile was missing throughout the interview. He was answering the interviewer’s questions as though he was simply going through the motions.
“DJ looks sad,” Ma remarked.
Shilpa felt her heart clench. God. Did she do that to that charming man? Take away his smile? The guilt and the intense yearning felt like a punch to her stomach.
Shilpa felt nervous. Ma was sitting right next to her. She was worried that she wouldn’t be able to control her feelings after seeing Dhruv on TV, and she would break down crying. Ma would then try to talk her into going back to Dhruv.
Not that Dhruv would want her back anymore. She knew she had broken his heart and ego.
Taking a quick shuddering breath, Shilpa tried to recall her happy times with Pranit to distract herself. She smiled softly as she recalled some of the memories. Pranit was her friend first. In fact, when Pranit had confessed his love for her, she was taken aback. But she liked him and his company so much that she was more than happy to want to spend the rest of her life with someone like him.
Even as she recalled her memories with Pranit, suddenly other memories shoved their way into her head.
The memories of Dhruv getting her to agree to a date while she was tied in a warehouse… the moments leading up to their first kiss… the way he comforted her when Ma was hospitalized… him cherishing her while he made love… all those images rushed through her mind.
And finally, the most heartbreaking memory.
“Go home, Dhruv.”
“You are my home.”
Shilpa firmly pushed those memories away. Yet again.
It had only been a week, but she was worried it would become a full-time job to suppress the memories of Dhruv.
Chapter 32
Over the next few days, Shilpa submerged herself completely in her work. The next case hearing for the recent drugs bust was due in a week. Before that, she ensured all the witnesses were kept in a safe location away from the harmful influence of a few powerful people involved.
Shilpa herself had been receiving several threatening calls.
So when her phone rang and displayed an unknown number, she picked it up immediately. “Dasani,” she answered.
“Shilpa.”
As soon as she heard the familiar, deep masculine voice, her bravado disappeared. She could barely find her voice.
“Shilpa, I figured it out. I was a fool and drowned in self-pity all week, but I finally know and understand where you are coming from.”
Shilpa remained mute. Her throat was refusing to work without having to bawl her eyes out. And considering she was surrounded by her team and also her superior officers who were seated outside her office, she didn’t think crying would help her in any way.
“I’m really, really stupid,” he continued. “For all the boastful arguments I made of being able to read people easily, when it came to you, it took me ten bloody days to figure out what had happened.”
He was silent, probably waiting to hear something from her.
And then he sighed. “Baby, I know why you suddenly backed off,” he said. “It happened right after the accident.”
She found her voice somehow. “Dhruv… please don’t—”
He cut her off before she could complete her sentence. Maybe because he knew what she would say. “You were scared for my life. And I know it must have reminded you of losing Pranit, too,” he added softly.
“Dhruv, please.”
“It was a freak accident, Shilpa. It won’t happen again. They spend a lot of money taking care of my safety. Because there’s a lot of money riding on me because of my ongoing and future movies.”
She shook her head. “I can’t risk it again, Dhruv,” she whispered.
“Don’t say that. Please. I promise I won’t do my own stunts anymore. I’ll always use a double.”
Shilpa shook her head again, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I don’t want you to give up what you love, Dhruv. It’s not fair.”
“I don’t care whether or not it’s fair. I love you. I just want you in my life.”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. She brushed away the tear that escaped.
“Then what should I say, Shilpa?” he asked in anguish. “What can I say to have you back in my life?”
“There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind.”
She could feel the frustration and hurt from the silence that ensued.
“Do you think I never thought about how dangerous your job is?” he asked softly. “It would have been much easier for me to want to spend my life with someone who would cater to my needs and stayed home safe and secure.”
Shilpa knew he was absolutely right. She also knew she was an absolute hypocrite when it came to not accounting for her safety.
“You deal with dangerous people,” he stated. “You receive death threats. Hell, you were even shot at several times. But not even for a moment did I second-guess how deeply I
felt for you, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Shilpa’s resolve began to shake, but she clung to the shreds of it. “I know it doesn’t sound fair, Dhruv. But that’s how I feel,” she insisted.
“Feel what, Shilpa?” he snapped, his voice growing angry. “We love each other. The only thing that’s stopping us from being together is your fear.”
Shilpa knew he was right. When she became a police officer, she had promised to give up her life if needed in the line of duty. Because of which she never backed away from danger. But she couldn’t handle witnessing the person she loved being hurt. If that made her a coward, then she was one.
Shilpa remained silent as tears blurred her vision.
“I’m not saying it’s unwarranted,” he continued. “But I’m telling you that the likelihood of me getting hurt during any of my shoots is very low.”
Shilpa shook her head again. “I can’t.”
“Fight for us, dammit!” he shouted, finally losing his cool.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
She heard him inhale deeply. “So am I,” he said in a defeated tone. “And I hope you remember every bloody day for the rest of your life that I was the one for you, but you threw me away.” With those words which struck deeply into her heart, he ended the call.
Chapter 33
The rest of the days seemed to pass in a blur. Shilpa pushed herself even deeper into chasing the head kingpin. As she got closer and closer to catching him, the frequency of the threatening calls increased. It only made her that much more determined.
Currently, she and her team had stopped their vehicles in front of a seemingly normal mid-size factory. And despite seeing the police vehicles, the security at the factory entrance tried to stop them. But Shilpa ordered the police vehicle in the front to break through the gates.
