She leaned her head against the back of the sofa, grateful for even this small reprieve from the constant vigil of watching over Fletcher. She did her best to entertain him, read to him, play childish games with him. But it wasn’t easy being a single parent. There was no break. There was constant concern for his welfare, bills to be paid. The worry of whether she would qualify as a foster mother and whether she was doing the right thing in trying.
Some evenings she wanted to climb the walls with boredom and loneliness before she fell into bed, exhausted by her own frustration.
Ray was an attractive distraction, but she was afraid of relying on him too much. She hated how much she looked forward to catching a glimpse of him. Even that could make her heart race. And if he was in close proximity to her? Forget it. She couldn’t control her reaction to him, and wondered if she even managed to hide it from him.
Ray made her want all the same things she’d once wanted with Trey. Hayley remembered everything she’d thought she had, and how easily she’d lost it all. How easily she’d been crushed by Trey’s abandonment. She’d fallen into a black hole, and it had taken her almost a year to climb back out. Fletcher, at least, gave her a reason to try. But there were too many days when she felt she was teetering on the brink of falling back into that black abyss.
Her cell phone rang, yanking her out of her potentially dismal thoughts. As a general rule, when her cell phone rang, it was one of her two close friends, Andre or Paige, or else it was one of her co-workers at the Y looking to switch classes. It was Paige. “What’s up, girlfriend?” she began in her usual upbeat style.
Hayley smiled, which was what she normally did whenever she talked to or spent time with Paige. Her enthusiasm for life and the people she cared about was infectious. No wonder she loved Paige.
“Not much, actually. We just finished dinner. Fletcher’s in the tub.”
There was a pause. “By himself? Girl, you can’t leave a little kid in a bathtub alone.”
“Uh, no. He’s not alone.” Hayley plunked herself back on the sofa, crossing her legs yoga-style.
Another pause, then Paige said, “Explain please.”
“It’s my neighbor. Fletcher seems to have taken to him.”
“Him? Explain please.”
“There isn’t anything to explain, Paige. He lives next door. In fact, he’s my landlord. A social worker showed up this afternoon before I got home, and he talked to her. He grilled some hamburgers. I made some truly disgusting macaroni and cheese. We ate, and now he’s giving Fletcher a bath. As soon as Fletcher’s in bed, he’s going to tell me what he and the social worker talked about.”
“You’re explaining a lot for someone who claims there’s nothing to explain,” Paige pointed out.
“That’s because I know you. Now that I’ve mentioned him, you won’t let it go.”
“Because someone has to look out for you. And even if I’m two thousand miles away, I do a pretty good job of it, if I do say so myself.”
“You do, Paige. I don’t know what I’d do without you and Andre.”
“We’ll talk about Andre later. Don’t try to change the subject. So this next-door neighbor? He’s…single?”
“Widowed.”
“Widowed? Does that mean he’s ancient?”
Hayley chuckled. “He’s a couple years older than me. I knew him from high school.”
During the brief silence that followed, Hayley could almost hear the wheels turning in Paige’s head before she spoke again. “Name please. I’ll Google him right now.”
“Paige, that isn’t necessary. I know him. He’s a good guy.”
“He was a good guy when you were in high school fifteen years ago. Name please.”
Hayley sighed. She knew Paige wouldn’t let it go. “It’s Ray Braddock.”
An even longer silence ensued before Paige spoke again. “Not ripple effect Ray Braddock?”
Having a BFF who knew all of your secrets was a double-edged sword at times. Paige had been there for the beginning and the end of her relationship with Trey. During one late night of girl talk their sophomore year, Hayley’d explained the ripple effect to Paige. She’d mentioned feeling it at a distance with Ray and up close with Trey. Paige filed it away in her memory bank like she did everything else.
“Yes,” Hayley answered softly. It sounded like bath time was winding down.
“Oh, girl. You better be careful.”
“I am. I will.”
“I’m going to Google him anyway,” Paige informed her.
“Google away,” Hayley replied.
“So what about this social worker? What’d she have to say?”
“Not much. She has to drop by a couple of times unannounced and check things out here. Make sure I’ve got food in the fridge, that I’m looking out for Fletch.”
“Funny, isn’t it, they never did that when he was with Steffie and that loser Carlos? Maybe they’d have rescued him sooner, and he’d be okay now.”
“Maybe. But I think Stef did the best she could for him. It’s not like I was around to help her, either.”
“Hay, when are you going to stop beating yourself up about that? You tried to help her more than once, and she wouldn’t go for it. It’s not like you didn’t have your own problems to deal with.”
Hayley sighed. “I know.” She heard the bathroom door open. “Paige, I’ve got to go. I love you.”
She disconnected and sat up straighter when Ray appeared with a clean, pajama-ed Fletcher in his arms.
“We have bathed,” Ray intoned. “We have fought in the mighty sea, and we have won. We’ve brushed our teeth. Let’s see the teeth, Fletch.” Fletcher obediently opened his mouth. “Yep. Looks good.
“Last but not least, we have chosen Green Eggs and Ham for our final reading of the evening.”
“And who will be reading that epic tonight?” Hayley inquired, steeling herself for the reply. She’d read Dr. Seuss books often, and this one in particular of late. She sometimes thought she’d go stark raving mad if she had to read it one more time. But she gritted her teeth and read it anyway, because Fletcher seemed to enjoy the silly rhyming stories.
Fletcher patted Ray’s shoulder and Hayley hopped up. She stood on tiptoe and kissed Fletcher’s soft little-boy cheek and ruffled his hair. “Okay, if Ray doesn’t mind, I’ll let him read to you this one time.” She held out her arms. “Do I get to tuck you in, though?” Fletcher leaned toward her and Ray let go. She loved the feel of Fletcher’s little arms tight around her neck. She carried him to his bed and pulled the covers over him. “Goodnight, sweetheart.” She kissed him once more. To Ray she mouthed a heartfelt, “Thank you.”
Back in the kitchen she set about making lunch for herself and Fletcher for tomorrow. She’d learned that the mornings slipped away, leaving her rushed and harried if she didn’t plan ahead. And bringing a lunch was much more economical than stepping out to buy one on her break.
Ray reappeared after a few minutes. “He’s out like a light. I didn’t even get to the good part before he fell asleep.”
“There is no good part after you’ve read it a hundred times, believe me.”
“Yeah, I can see how it would get old real quick.”
Hayley stowed the two paper lunch bags in the refrigerator then reached into the cabinet above. Ray watched in silence as she undid the rubber bands and the layers of wrapping to reveal a pack of cigarettes. She removed one of the extra long filter tips and offered the package to Ray. He shook his head, and she carefully rewrapped them and returned them to the cabinet.
“I know it’s stupid and unhealthy, but I can’t tell you how ready I am for Fletcher to fall asleep so I can get away with it.” She took a bottle of wine from the refrigerator and a corkscrew from a nearby drawer. Ray took the corkscrew from her and opened the bottle.
Hayley had her wineglass ready. “Would you like some? Or a beer, maybe?”
“A beer. I’m not much of a wine drinker, myself.”
&nb
sp; “Cheap white zin is not actually considered wine in many circles,” she informed him. After Ray filled her glass, Hayley stowed the bottle back in the refrigerator and handed Ray a beer.
In silent agreement, they made their way out to the front porch. Hayley lit what was left of the candle out there and settled into one of the chairs. She lit her cigarette and exhaled on a sigh, then took a sip of her wine. “Ah. Heaven,” she declared.
Ray lifted his beer bottle toward her, and she clinked her glass against it. “To simple pleasures,” he toasted. They both took a drink.
Hayley took another drag off her cigarette, finding her pleasure in her evening ritual increased with Ray nearby. She also found it increasingly easy to ignore those little warning bells in the back of her head that told her not to get too used to it, not to enjoy it too much.
“You were going to tell me what Ms. Maxwell wanted with you.”
“Nothing much. She asked if I knew you. I said I did. She wanted to know what my impression of you was. I said I liked you and a few other complimentary things.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Typical woman. Fishing for compliments.”
“Come on, Ray, don’t hold out on me. I’m in desperate need of a decent compliment.”
“I told her I liked you, and I thought you were smart and tough.”
“Well, that’s better than saying I’m stupid and weak, even if it’s closer to the truth.”
“Stop it,” Ray admonished her gently.
Hayley ducked her head. “I know. I know. But when you feel like all the world’s done lately is kick dirt at you, it’s hard to believe there isn’t a reason for it.”
“Maybe the world’s jealous. Did you ever think of that?”
“Not hardly. Though it’d be nice if it were true.”
“Hell, Hayley, think about it. You’ve got a lot going for you. Aside from your obvious physical attributes.” Ray coughed. “You’re no dummy. Look what you’ve done for Fletcher, taking him in, making a home for him. You gotta be tough to take that on.”
“Yes, well, but back to the physical attributes.” Hayley giggled.
“Don’t get me started,” Ray warned. He tilted his beer bottle toward his lips.
“Was that all?”
“She asked if I’d met Fletcher. I said I had. Had I noticed anything unusual about him. I asked her like what. She brought up his not speaking. I told her maybe he didn’t have anything to say.”
Hayley giggled again. “You didn’t.”
“I did.”
“I bet she thought you were a smart ass.”
“Maybe. I’m no expert, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with him. I think he’ll start talking when he’s ready.”
“They made me take him and have him tested. But they couldn’t find anything wrong with him, either. Maybe you’re right. What else?”
“Uh, she asked if I thought you were a fit foster parent for him.”
Hayley sat up straighter and stared at Ray. “Oh no, what did you tell her? That you don’t think I am?”
“No, no. I told her I thought you were as good as anyone else. That you were doing your best and wasn’t that what counted?”
“Oh great. What’d she say? That my best didn’t even come close to being good enough?”
“No, she didn’t say that.”
“Ray…”
“Nothing. She said something about DCW having standards is all. That was pretty much it.”
Hayley relaxed back in her chair. The cigarette was gone. She cupped the globe of her wineglass in both hands and gazed out at the near darkness. “It probably doesn’t matter. Once they finish their background investigation, I’ll be shocked as hell if they let me keep Fletcher until he’s adopted anyway. I’m not even sure if I should.”
“Why?”
“Oh, lots of reasons. Initially I thought at least Fletcher knew me. He wouldn’t be surrounded by strangers. But maybe strangers would have had a better idea of how to take care of him.”
“Again, I’m no expert, but it looks to me like you take darn good care of him.”
A ripple of disagreement ran across Hayley’s shoulders. “Like you told Ms. Maxwell, I do my best, but I never realized how tough it would be to be responsible for him 24/7. This is all temporary anyway. The state will find a good home for Fletcher, and then I can go ahead with the plans I made.”
“The job in L.A., right?”
Chapter Seven
Just a few blocks from the Y where Hayley worked was a city park with a fenced-in section equipped with playground equipment just Fletcher’s size. He loved crawling around in the small fort and a mini-maze of tunnels, bridges, ladders and slides. Every other Friday after she got paid, she would stop at the nearby McDonald’s for ice cream, and then she’d turn Fletcher loose at the park for a little while.
Today the park was relatively quiet. Only a couple of mothers were there, keeping an eye on their small children. Several mature oak and sycamore trees shaded the area, and with the sun beginning its evening descent, it was almost pleasant to be outside.
Hayley took a seat on one of the benches in the shade, where she could watch Fletcher while she vegetated and dreamed of the future she envisioned once she escaped Perrish, Florida. As soon as Fletcher had a good home, she’d put her plan into action as she could have ten years ago.
It wasn’t too late to make the choice she should have made then. That’s what she kept telling herself. She could still succeed, still make something of her life.
Suddenly a man dropped onto the bench near her, yanking her out of her current fantasy, which included some nameless, faceless male escorting her out for the evening to a movie premiere or a charity event.
“How you doing, Hayley?”
That the man spoke to her and knew her name startled her even further out of her reverie. She recognized the voice, and that fact sent her into high alert mode. Panicked, she stared at the playground. Fletcher climbed out of one of the tunnels and stood up. He gazed across at her, his expression even more serious than usual when he saw the man next to her. She wondered if he remembered.
She raised her hand and waved to reassure him. She forced herself to smile. Everything’s okay. There’s nothing to fear. Go on and play.
“God, Niko, you scared the life out of me,” she said when Fletcher turned away and crossed the bridge. She watched him slide down to the next level and then climb the ladder to the fort.
Niko chuckled, his gaze on Fletcher. “He’s getting big.”
The last time she’d seen Niko was outside the funeral home after the service she’d arranged for Steffie. Carlos had been in her face, threatening her, cursing her, out of control, mindless with anger, hatred, grief or possibly a combination of all three. He and Andre had almost come to blows by the time Niko pulled Carlos back, and with a couple of the others from their gang, or posse, or whatever they called the group of tough guys they hung with, got him out of there.
Hayley knew his presence here had something to do with Carlos. Niko and Carlos were related, half-brothers or cousins, perhaps. Hayley’d never known the exact nature of their connection. But she’d met him more than once when she’d visited Steffie. Always there were a couple of guys hanging out in the apartment, with little to say and that suspicious gaze in their eyes when they looked at her.
Niko was the only one she’d ever actually met, the only one who seemed to have any manners at all, the only one who didn’t appear to hate her or resent her presence. He was also the only one who ever noticed Fletcher and took time to play with him or talk to him. But still, she never let herself forget he was a part of Carlos’s world with Carlos’s agenda to follow.
In fact, it was through Niko that she managed to see Steffie at all that last year or so before she died. After the day Carlos kicked her out of the apartment, hurling curses at her and practically shoving her toward her car, Niko put himself between them, and whatever he said to Carlos forced him to
back off. That day, Niko slid a piece of paper into her hand and gestured for her to get out of there.
On the paper was a phone number. Niko’s cell phone. He’d made himself a conduit between her and Steffie, circumventing Carlos’s watchful eye, at no small risk to himself, she was sure. She’d always wondered why he bothered, but she’d never asked.
“Yes, he is,” she agreed now, noticing Niko’s gaze fixed on Fletcher, following his progress in the play area.
After a few minutes, he turned toward her and said, “So how you doing?”
Hayley studied his face for a moment, deciding he could easily be Carlos’s half-brother. There was definitely a resemblance in their facial features and their eyes. Fletcher had the same dark eyes and similar bone structure.
Hayley knew Niko hadn’t shown up to find out how she was but she answered anyway. “I’m okay. How are you?”
Niko shrugged but said nothing. Hayley’s brow crinkled in thought as a memory suddenly surfaced. On one of her visits to Steffie, she’d seen him looking at Steffie just this way—wistful, defeated. Resigned. Her gaze had crossed his and he’d done the same thing then. Shrugged. Not with indifference, but with a kind of powerlessness to change what was.
“I got a message for you,” Niko said.
Ah, now they were getting to the reason for his visit. “From Carlos.”
“Yeah. He got some papers from the state. Want him to give up Fletcher.”
Callie Maxwell had mentioned this. If Carlos didn’t relinquish his parental rights, Fletcher couldn’t be adopted.
“He says he’ll think about it on one condition.”
Hayley already knew what the one condition was.
Niko turned to look at her. “You don’t be the one that adopts him.”
Still it came as a bit of a blow. Even though she’d told herself she wasn’t equipped to parent Fletcher, even though she had no intention of adopting him, the fact that his low-life father didn’t want her to didn’t set well.
A Forever Kind of Guy: The Braddock Brotherhood, Book 2 Page 7
