“I don’t remember much from my childhood,” I said in a low tone, and his lack of surprise at my admission told me he knew what I was talking about. “But I know Josh—I just don’t remember how.”
I searched Jeff’s profile as he turned back to Taylor when she tugged on his sleeve, amused by the pictures of potbellied pigs on her phone. Taylor wanted one in the worst way, but our landlord would only allow dogs. I tried to shake off the feeling of dread that gathered in my stomach when I replayed Jeff’s not-so-subtle hint. Was he just messing with me? Was there something I didn’t know? Is that why Josh wouldn’t answer me both times I’d asked him why he wanted to stay away from me when we first met?
I shook myself out of overthinking everything. Things had been rough lately, and I just wanted tonight not to be some tragic, heart-wrenching thing. I just wanted to be a normal college girl whose only concern is whether he’s going to ask to come over tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Wooooo!” Taylor was the first of our group to stand up and cheer, and we followed suit as Ash got the ball, only to be tackled by someone on the other team.
“Fuck.” Jeff grimaced. “This team is real bad.”
“Chicago style pizza kind of bad?” I smiled when he pretended to wretch.
“Deep dish, extra pineapple bad.” I genuinely laughed at his disgusted tone. He patted the top of my head in an affectionate gesture, showing a tenderness I hadn’t witnessed from him before. I suspected Jeff, despite his hardened loud-mouthed persona, had been an excellent role model for Josh.
Josh had only been in the game for a few minutes, but he already had the ball and was making his way down the pitch.
“Is it me, or is Ash bumping into Josh on purpose?” Taylor yelled to me as she leaned over Jeff. He lifted his arm, letting her crowd him, and rested it behind her back as she leaned her elbow on his thigh, seeming not to care if he was uncomfortable.
I focused back on the game, and sure enough, Ash bumped into him and then quickened his pace before Josh could retaliate.
“I bet he’s still pissed about Josh beating him up at the rugby house…” I said, mostly to myself. Josh kicked the ball, scoring an excellent drop goal, and I relaxed a little, thinking maybe Ash wasn’t antagonizing him and it was just a one-off. But then he whooshed by Josh again as they jogged to take their places on the halfway point of the field, and purposely kicked him in the back of the leg with a cleated foot.
“Can you imagine bein’ that stupid?” Jeff grinned at me, then elaborated when I gave him a confused look. “He’s begging for another ass-whoopin’. This time on the field. Unfuckingbelieveable.”
“You think this is over Addison?” Taylor asked, and we both shook our heads no, but Jeff answered her.
“It’s a pride thing. He’s mad Josh leveled him…” Jeff trailed off, standing back up to yell when Ash deliberately bumped into Josh again while they were in the scrum, knocking him off balance and allowing the opposing team to snatch the ball. “End him now, Travin, or I will!” Josh couldn’t hear him, but by the strained muscle in Jeff’s neck, I figured he needed to yell to let off some steam, or he really would go out there and punch Ash.
I shook my head as I imagined Jeff calmly strolling through the middle of the game, knocking Ash out and then, just as calmly, dragging his body off the field with one hand and the other one tucked casually in his track pants pocket. I could practically hear him saying, “Nothin’ to see here, folks,” around the cigarette that would invariably be hanging from his lips, while he waved dismissively for them to continue their game.
“Oh, I hope he gives him a concussion.” I heard Taylor say to Jeff. The other team cheered as they scored, and Ash bumped shoulders aggressively with Josh as if to rub it in that he lost the ball. “Why is he so dumb?” Taylor waved her hand out in exasperation.
“That’s my boy,” Jeff said as Josh shoved Ash back, and held his hands out as if to ask if the sweaty blonde really wanted to get his ass handed to him again. I smiled, but then nervously looked over at Laney when Nick walked up, shoving Ash hard and leaned over him after he fell to the ground. I was surprised, Nick and Ash both lived in the rugby house, but he was showing his alliance to Josh. Ash got up, glaring at both Nick and Josh who watched him intently.
Ash walked away that time, only to wait for Josh to get the ball again. Then he rammed into him, hard enough to make Josh trip and fall.
Jeff threw his baseball hat on the ground, causing Taylor to squeal in surprise as he shouted at the referee, “Ah, come on, are ya blind?” “
Josh seemed to have had enough because as soon as Nick helped him up, he ran toward Ash and tackled him on the ground.
Josh delivered three definitive punches to Ash’s face, then shook his teammates off as they tried to pull him away from where Ash now lay on the grass. The ref blew his whistle with a shrill blast, and it was clear that the guy wasn’t sure if he should follow Josh off the field or check out Ash, who was on his hands and knees, trying to get up. My stomach clenched as I watched Josh stalk angrily across the pitch toward where his teammates were gathered near the touch-line.
“Will they let him play again?” Taylor asked Jeff, but her eyes didn’t leave the field. She seemed genuinely concerned, which was out of the norm for Taylor. She sincerely liked Josh, and that meant something, and it made me feel better in my decision to trust him.
“Nah.” He shook his head. “I mean, not tonight. They won’t kick him off the team, though. He’s too good. ” He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and fiddled with his lighter. He wouldn’t light it until we were out in the parking lot, and he could stand away from everyone.
Despite Ash’s dumbassery and Josh beating up his own teammate, our team had the lead in points, and the game was winding down. I noticed Jeff’s attention was on Matt, who was talking quietly with Laney. I hoped Matt would eventually get along with Josh and Jeff, and things could go back to the way they were before.
“Come on; we’re gonna go hang out by the parking lot and wait for the guys. I want to invite them over.” Laney stood up, pulling the blanket with her, then pushed past Taylor and Jeff to grab my hand.
“Tonight?” I heard Taylor moan, because we had class early in the morning. Laney rolled her big brown eyes as she pulled me toward the parking lot, waving her hand for the others to follow.
“No, this weekend. I need to show Nick that he’s not my only option and that he can’t just pick me up and drop me whenever he feels like it,” she huffed as we rushed through the crowd. I could vaguely hear Jeff cursing from somewhere behind me as he and Taylor followed in our wake. “We’ve gotta give them enough notice, or no one will show up,” she concluded. I cringed. I hated it when she did this. She would awkwardly flirt with any guys who would stand there and talk to her, and it was as if she never noticed the knowing glances everyone around her shared.
“Laney…” I started, then trailed off, not sure how to tell her that we’d had too much happen lately. That inviting people we didn’t really know into our house wasn’t the best idea right now—we still didn’t know who had broken in, and more importantly, who had brutalized her. Laney was resilient, but I was still surprised she was able to bounce back as quickly as she had. But that didn’t mean that it was time to start throwing parties at our house and inviting a bunch of strangers.
She spun around, letting my hand go and pointed her finger at me, the sparkly nail polish distracting me for a second. “Don’t ruin this for me. You’ve got Josh following you around like a dog. Find somewhere else to be if you don’t want to deal with a bunch of people, but don’t be a buzzkill.” Her harsh tone was like a slap to the face. She’d always been strong-willed and opinionated, but she was never quite this nasty. Between this and the jealous outburst after the attack, she was turning into someone I didn’t even recognize anymore. In the past, she could undoubtedly be moody, emotional, but never mean.
I started to tell her where she could shove ev
ery one of those rugby players that she was dying to impress, but instead, I swallowed my anger down. Her eye was still shadowed with dark purple bruises, and the cuts on her hands and arms from the glass looked painful. I tried to reframe the situation—obviously, she had been through something traumatic, and if she wanted to cut loose and enjoy some downtime, the least I could do was be supportive.
“You’re right,” I conceded, and I smiled at her surprised, quirked brow. “But I’m not cleaning up if anyone pukes.”
She didn’t apologize for her tone, but she patted my hand and ran over to Josh, waving at me urgently to join them. He was making his way out to the gravel lot beside the field with his teammates, wavy hair damp with sweat, just like the first time I’d seen him. And just like that first time, his green eyes practically lit me on fire with that steady, intense stare. Only now, my body knew what his lips and hands felt like against my skin and mouth. I knew the pleasure only he could give me, and I craved his touch.
Laney began chatting animatedly to one of Josh’s teammates, probably accosting him about the party at our house. He was built like a truck, all muscle, and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted him tackling me at any given moment. Glancing around, he seemed amused, but then his expression fell to one of embarrassment. I followed his eyes and saw Nick, standing a few feet away and watching the interaction unfold. Whatever he saw on Nick’s face clearly made the guy uncomfortable, and as he looked down at Laney, he gently pulled her pale hand from around the dark skin of his forearm.
“You didn’t want to wear my jersey, Addison?” Josh was trying to be playful, but I could hear the underlying seriousness in his tone. He was clearly disappointed I hadn’t put it on, and I could deal with a lot of things—anger, resentment, even loathing, but I hated to be a disappointment to anyone.
“I thought I would save it,” I said quietly as he pulled me into for a hug. I felt him hold his breath when I whispered against his ear. “I thought I might sleep in it tonight.”
He let out a husky chuckle and pulled me closer, and I breathed in his musky scent. He sighed against my ear before pulling away to cup my cheek and kiss me softly. “That sounds like a plan to me.”
“Addison!” I heard Taylor call, and I broke away from Josh to stand on my tiptoes, searching for her in the crowd. He clasped his hand with mine, pressed up next to my side, and I reveled in the comfort his touch brought me. Taylor was saying something I couldn’t make out over the noise of the crowd, but I did see Matt and the sour expression on his face as he stared at me. Then Jeff was there, pushing his way through the crowd of rugby fans to stand in front of us.
“We’re going over to the cars.” Jeff wasn’t looking at us, but instead was agitatedly looking around at all the people. “It’s getting a little too fuckey here, and I need a cigarette.” His hands were on his hips, and he looked at me incredulously when I let out a snort that should have been embarrassing.
“Something funny?” He knew exactly what was funny.
“You, Jeff.” I smiled sincerely. “You make me laugh.” “Yeah well…” he trailed off, and it occurred to me that Jeff didn’t take compliments well. “Oh, and that obnoxious little friend of yours.” He pointed over at Matt, who was still staring with no shame whatsoever. “Can we trade him off into another friend group? I’ve got this much patience left for his shit.” He held up his pointer and thumb close together, nearly touching.
I felt my chest swell with emotion that Jeff considered me part of his friend group. I wasn’t just the girl Josh was seeing, or whatever it was we were doing. I was Jeff’s friend, and I liked that. I’d come a long way in such a short period of time. I’d let my guard down with Josh, then Taylor, and even with Jeff and Laney to some extent. I wanted to tell Josh about my mom and my sister, and I would, I just needed to find the right time. I wanted us to be completely open with each other, and I could tell there were things he needed to reveal to me as well.
“I’ll meet with some other team owners and discuss trading options this week,” I grinned at Jeff, and I felt Josh’s ribs move with laughter as his arm came around me to tuck me to his side.
Jeff’s smirk always seemed a little intimidating, and his humor was so dry, it was hard to tell when he was kidding. He pointed at me while he looked at Josh. “Keep her around; she's goin’ places.” He’d already turned and was pushing through the crowd to find a place to smoke his much-needed cigarette. I didn’t see Matt and Taylor any longer, but I assumed that they’d already migrated toward where our cars were parked.
“You’re not going anywhere without me.” Josh pulled me in for another soft kiss and kept me close even after our lips parted.
“Is that a fact?”
He chewed his lower lip for a moment before confessing, “I don’t want to sleep without you next to me tonight.” He averted his eyes when he said, “I know this is intense and moving fast and you don’t trust easily and I’m just some…”
“Josh.” I touched his face and the way he looked at me; I felt like we were the only people in the room, that there was no crush of people around us. “It is moving fast, and you’re right, I don’t trust easily.” I felt his jaw clench, not in anger, but in anticipation of what I was about to say. “I’m all I’ve had for the last thirteen years, so I had to learn to trust my instincts, and I trust you.” I smiled up at him, but he didn’t return that smile; instead, he rubbed his hand over my ponytail, cupping the back of my head. “I don’t want to sleep without you either,” I added.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Later that night, when Josh made his way back into my room after taking a shower, he’d barely shut my door when he saw me kneeling on my bed wearing his jersey. His eyes zeroed in on my bare thighs, where the bottom of his baby blue jersey skimmed across my skin. He sucked in a breath of surprise as his hot gaze swept over my entire body. He stalked across the room toward me like he was a hunter and I was his prey, a towel wrapped low on his hips. In one swift movement, he captured me in his strong arms, scooping me off the bed and letting me slide down the length of his hard body until my feet touched the carpet.
“You have no idea what seeing you wearing this does to me,” he groaned, my breasts pressed hard against his chest, and my arms circled around his neck. He rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip, his eyes following the movement as he traced the soft skin. Before I could blink, his mouth was on mine, my hands in his hair. This wasn’t like the first time—it was hot, frenzied, both of us desperate for more. He wasn’t gentle, and I didn’t want him to be.
When he came up for air, I was gasping right along with him. I couldn't get enough of the feel of his smooth skin under my fingertips. My hands stroked the back of his neck where his dark hair curled, still damp from the shower, then trekked over his shoulders caressing his biceps. He was absolutely perfect, and I was sure he knew that by the way I was looking at him.
His gaze darted around my face, taking in every detail from my flushed cheeks to my swollen lips, parted as I gasped for air. Palms flattened, he ran his hands gently over my abdomen and back, feeling my body through the soft fabric of his jersey.
“I’ve never wanted anything so much.” His mouth parted on the words, and I could feel his warm breath on my heated skin. Now that he had finished his perusal of my face, his eyes couldn’t seem to focus anywhere but on my lips.
“I’ve waited all day for this,” I admitted, as he moved his hands down to my thighs, his fingers gliding under the jersey to take purchase on my hips. When he found nothing but skin waiting for him, he pressed his forehead to mine, cursing under his breath, then slid his hands up to cup my bare breasts.
I couldn’t speak; I could only breathe him in. So I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck so I could kiss him as passionately as he kissed me, in hopes that it might be enough to show him how much I wanted him. He groaned against my lips, pinching my nipples gently before fluidly sliding his hands down my body to grip my thighs, effortlessly lifting me and pulli
ng me into him in the most intimate way. I could feel just how much he wanted this, how much he wanted me even through the towel separating us.
Almost as if they were acting of their own accord, my legs wrapped around his narrow hips, and he cupped my bottom in one hand while the other tunneled through my long hair as his mouth devoured mine. Grinding his hips into me, he slid his tongue against mine. My fingertips dug into his shoulders as I tried to steady my body, which was practically trembling with anticipation. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I probably should’ve been, I was still sore from our first time together. But just the way he was looking at me had my entire body quivering with eagerness.
With one last hard thrust of his hips, he tossed me onto the bed and his hands made quick work of the towel around his hips, letting it pool at his feet. I tried not to stare at his impressive length, and when my eyes met his, I blushed, looking away in embarrassment. He was impossibly hard and positively aching with need.
“Hey,” he said as he crawled over me and tipped my chin to look up at him. “I like it when you look at me.” He peppered kisses along the column of my neck and trailed his lips up to the shell of my ear. I didn’t have a chance to respond because he ground his hips down on mine, and I felt him, all of him, against me and I moaned with desire. His lips were on mine again, and his five o’clock shadow scratched my cheek in the most delicious way.
Josh mumbled something unintelligible, quickly pulling himself up off the bed. For a moment, I was confused at his hasty departure and watched dumbly from the bed as he nearly tripped over his discarded towel in his haste to get across the room to his gym bag. I scooted up to a seated position, my arms wrapped around my middle as he rooted around in the bag, tossing things out. I only understood when he was back in front of me, ripping the little foil packet open with his teeth, expertly applying the condom. I tried not to think about exactly why he was so practiced at the maneuver, pushing the negative thoughts to the side, but I couldn’t help wondering how I compared to those other girls. He pulled me up off the bed and pressed his length against me in case I wasn’t fully aware of what we were about to do, but he must have noticed the change in my demeanor because he pulled back to look at my face.
Beautiful Legend: An Angsty College Romance Page 15
