“Miss me already, sunshine?” Jeff teased, causing Taylor to scowl as she moved over toward his bed. Josh sat up straighter in his chair, his eyes focusing on me, and I felt the urge to rush over to him and throw my arms around him.
Taylor’s voice brought me out of the daze I was in when she said, “Keep it up, and I’ll unplug you.” She pointed at the monitor next to his bed, causing him to grin up at her.
“Hey stranger,” Jeff said to me, and I flushed with embarrassment that I hadn’t come to see him sooner.
I approached Jeff’s bed, acutely aware of Josh’s eyes on me. He wasn’t saying anything, and I suspected that he was afraid if he pushed, I’d run off again. “How are you feeling? I’m so sorry I haven’t been by, I just…”
“You don’t owe me an apology,” Jeff said, and his tone was light as he glanced at Josh as if he were gauging the situation. He turned his attention back to me and continued, “I’m doing good for someone who got stabbed three times.” He shrugged. “But I think I’m going to need to be taken care of for at least a couple of months just to be on the safe side,” he added cheekily and winked at Taylor.
“You are out of your damn mind if you think I’m going to coddle your ass,” she retorted, and as they playfully bickered, I turned to see Josh standing, his sad eyes watching me intently.
“Can we talk?” I asked softly, and I was surprised when he didn’t speak. He nodded, then reached out for my hand and led me into the hallway. I shut Jeff’s door to drown out the sounds of Taylor threatening to stab him again if he didn’t knock it off.
“They make an ironically cute couple,” I said with a soft laugh, looking down at my feet, unsure of where to start. Josh led me over to a bank of chairs along the wall. I sat, expecting him to sit next to me, but instead, he got down on his knees in front of me and held my hands in his.
“I’m so sorry, Addison, I hope you know that. I never wanted to keep anything from you, especially something that would hurt you so badly.” He looked up into my eyes. “I just… I just need to try to explain myself, okay?” I nodded and squeezed his hands in silent support. He took a deep breath before he started to speak again.
“I’ve been so emotionally closed off from everyone my whole life. I never felt anything for anyone, but the moment I saw you at the boathouse, you made me feel everything all at once… it was overwhelming. Then when I saw Ash grab you that night, it was over. I knew I’d do anything to keep you safe and make sure no one ever hurt you again.”
Moisture pooled in my eyes at the hoarse, broken sound of his voice. I loosened my fingers from his then moved my hands to his shoulders, letting him know it was okay to touch me.
“I thought I was doing the right thing, to keep you safe, and I understand if you can’t…” he started, but when he got choked up, he stopped speaking for a moment. He breathed in deeply, his dark green eyes boring into mine, and I realized all of his walls were down with me. He was laying his soul bare as he told me everything he’d kept bottled up his entire life.
“The trial had me so conflicted. My dad… he was such a bastard when I was growing up, always beating on my mom and me. Always saying I’d turn out just like him. But I never thought he was capable of something so heinous.” I nodded, encouraging him to continue. “I felt guilty for feeling so angry about the way I grew up, because he took so much more from you. I’ve been a loner my whole life, always worried that someone would find out what he did and think I was the same. That’s why I legally changed my last name to Jeff’s—I couldn’t stand being associated with my dad anymore. Even though Jeff’s not that much older than me, he was the only positive male figure I had growing up. The only person I could rely on to be there for me. But you… you were the first person worth the risk of putting myself out there, you were worth everything. I’m sorry for—” I cut him off, cupping his face in my hands as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry too,” I said. “I’m sorry for keeping secrets from you, and I’m sorry I ran off without hearing you out. Most of all, I’m so sorry, Josh, for not answering you the last couple of days.” I felt the tension leave his body as his hands slid up my thighs and finally settled on my waist. He gathered me against him, pressing his face against my neck and hugging me so fiercely.
“I love you, Addie,” he whispered, and I could feel the wetness from his lashes against my neck. “I can’t fucking lose you again. I’ll do whatever I can to prove to you that I’ll never hurt you.”
“I love you. I need you, Josh. I need us to work this out.” I wrapped my arms around him and he took the opportunity to stand, pulling me up with him. He held me close to his chest, letting me rest my head there as his hand cupped the back of my head.
“Look at me,” he said as his fingers sifted through my hair. When our eyes met, he leaned down, pressing his lips to mine. I could feel how much he cherished me. There was no heat or urgency, only love and desire. “I was losing my mind without you,” he said when we parted.
“I was afraid we’d be toxic for one another because of our pasts,” I admitted, reaching up to stroke my thumb across his stubbled cheek. “But now… after thinking about it for the last few days… I think we’re meant to heal each other, from everything we’ve been through. We can’t change the past or the choices other people made, but we can choose to move forward.” I smiled up at him, finally feeling like I’d gotten it right, like I understood why we were thrown back together all this time later. Like he was my sign from the universe that it was time to put it in the past, and move forward, to live my life without fear or regrets.
He kissed the top of my head, holding me so tenderly as if he wanted to keep me forever. “No more secrets. I mean it, this is it for me. You’re my life, Addison.” I knew no one else had experienced Josh Travin this way.
“No more secrets. I want to share every part of my life with you,” I agreed, looking up at him, my chin still against his chest. His eyes held nothing but adoration as he brushed the hair away from my face. There was something else I wanted to share with him that I’d never allowed anyone else to be a part of. “Will you come with me someplace?”
“Anywhere,” he confirmed.
“I got a call today about a dog. She’s twelve and terminal. Because of all of that, and the fact that she’s snapping at people, she’s slated to be euthanized,” I explained. “I’ve never brought anyone with me to pick up a dog before,” I smiled up at him. “It’s kind of something I do on my own.”
As he pressed a kiss to my lips, he linked our fingers and we started walking toward the elevator. “You’re just afraid she’s gonna like me more than you,” he teased, and I poked his chest as he stepped inside.
“She probably will, you’re annoying that way,” I joked. “Remi loved you.” He wrapped his arm around me and I leaned into him. He felt right, we felt right, and I was so hopeful of what our future would bring.
Epilogue
Senior year, Two weeks before graduation
“Ew. College boys are so gross,” Taylor said as two drunk students who were shotgunning beers nearly ran us over. Thankfully, we sidestepped them and quickly trekked across the grassy field to get a space up front to watch Josh’s last game before graduation. It was surprising how much my life had changed over the last year and a half. I no longer felt anxious or afraid, I’d finally found peace.
The trials had finally wrapped up, Matt ultimately pled guilty and received a life sentence. He wouldn’t be eligible for parole until he was over 70 years old. Laney caught a break and was sent to live in a maximum-security psychiatric facility. She’d never be released, and that was enough for me. Josh’s father died in prison not too long after Laney and Matt were sentenced. Josh didn’t acknowledge his death, but he did accompany me to my mother and sister’s graves. It was something we needed to do in order to heal, and even though we were still working at it, we’d made tremendous progress.
“You and Jeff live in anti-social bliss, other than when you come
over to our place,” I teased her as we laid our blanket down. At the beginning of last summer, Josh and I made the decision to move in together and rent the apartment above Dr. Alexander’s horse barn. Taylor and Jeff, despite her insistence that he was still a creep, moved into a fancy apartment near campus where they wouldn’t have to deal with yard upkeep.
Josh and Jeff spent the summer building a smaller, temperature-controlled barn where we set up kennels to be able to adopt and foster more than one or two dogs at a time. Dr. Alexander worked closely with the local animal shelter to raise money to fund the addition, and for the care of the dogs. While I still gravitated to the older dogs who needed a soft place to land in their final days, Josh found he had a knack for training the overly energetic ones who were often overlooked. Even though he complained the entire time, Jeff had been the one to design the runs off the back of the barn with doggie doors so they could come and go as they pleased. Dr. Alexander took such a liking to Jeff and his affinity for building things that she hired him to oversee the farm, with his one stipulation being that he would never be asked to touch manure of any kind.
Taylor had even found a way to contribute to our project. The shelter had really drab, unprofessional photos of the animals on their website, and Taylor suggested bringing them out to the farm and taking fun photos that captured their personalities. Her parents weren’t interested in seeing the work we were doing at the shelter, or even hearing about all the dogs we’d placed into forever homes, but they did pay for her to buy high-tech camera equipment. It turned out she was a natural, and what started as a hobby quickly turned into a passion. She gained a pretty large following on social media for the quirky photos she captured of the animals, but she remained anonymous, of course.
“Okay, but If even one frat boy so much as looks like he’s going to talk to me…” she trailed off, adjusting her blue hair that was styled in space buns. Taylor spun the cap on the lens of her camera and unpacked her bag.
“I will pepper spray anyone who dares speak in your direction,” I joked, sitting up on my knees and peering out on the field. I was hoping to see Josh before the game because we’d missed each other this morning. I had to go pick up an older doberman who’d been surrendered last night, and Josh said he had to meet up with Nick for some senior tradition before their last game. Nick ended up being a regular at our house, even helping us with the dogs from time to time. He was a sucker for the puppies, especially when that whole litter was dropped off on Dr. Alexander’s porch that were too young to eat on their own. He stayed up with us, bottle feeding them through the night.
“Hey, sunshine,” Jeff said, dropping a kiss to the side of Taylor’s head as she sorted through SD cards looking for the one she wanted to use for the game. He sat down on the blanket and wiped his hands on his jeans as his jaw worked nervously, chewing his gum. “How you holding up, kid? You all good?” he asked, and I eyed him suspiciously.
“Why wouldn’t I be good?” I quirked an eyebrow at him. As I tucked one side of Josh’s jersey into the band of my shorts, I reclined back on my elbows, relishing in the warmth of the sun.
“No reason, can’t I just check on you?” He looked away, and I started to question if he was okay, but just then the crowd started cheering as the boys made their way out onto the field.
As I watched the game, I felt my chest swell with pride. Josh really was too good to play club rugby, but I was so thankful he’d settled for it. I watched the way he moved with such confidence when he had the ball. Even when the ball was taken by the other team, he stood there, lifting his jersey up to wipe the perspiration from his face, showing his toned abdomen. But his eyes never left the ball, and I could see he was calculating his next move to recover the game.
As the game progressed toward the second half, something seemed off, like neither team was playing as hard or with as much conviction as they usually did. There was a nervous, excited energy as Josh huddled up with Nick and a few other teammates. He pointed down the field and then clapped Nick on the shoulder, who nodded before fist-bumping him as the huddle broke up.
Minutes after the game reconvened, I watched as Josh moved down the field toward us with the ball, Nick shadowing him. Taylor was down on her knees, snapping pictures as Josh seemed to run right into his opponent out of nowhere. There was an audible gasp from the crowd as they both fell, sliding into a heap at the edge of the field. I was used to Josh getting banged up during games, it was inevitable. But I stood when I realized that the guy from the other team was up, dusting himself off, but Josh wasn’t rising. Nick leaned over and tried to help him get up on his knees.
I bolted off the blanket and ran onto the field, pushing Nick out of the way and to kneel down in front of Josh. Onlookers were absolutely silent as I grabbed his face, making him look up at me. I began to frantically check his pupils to see if he had a concussion, but stopped as soon I noticed his expression.
He was smiling.
“Josh,” I whispered as he moved fluidly to rest on one knee, and took my left hand in his as I gawked at him. “What are you doing? Are you hurt?”
The crowd cheered, whistled, and I heard a loud “That’s my fuckin’ boy!” that could have only come from Jeff. Josh’s shy smile grew wider as I looked around us. Taylor was contorted on the ground, still snapping pictures of us, and Nick was a few feet away with the guy from the opposing team who’d wrecked Josh. They were grinning so wide, their cheeks would be hurting tomorrow.
“Addison,” Josh said, showing me the small black box he had tucked in his free hand. “I’ve fallen in love with you a thousand times over the last year and a half. I love the life we’ve built together, but there’s one thing missing.” He let go of my hand long enough to pop open the box to reveal the most beautiful halo cut diamond ring I’d ever seen. “Be my wife, let me give you my last name,” he said quietly, and my heart clenched. He knew how much it bothered me over the years, not having the same last name as my mother and sister, but not being able to change it back for obvious reasons. Happy tears rolled down my cheeks as he shakily took the ring out of the box and presented it to me. Taking my hand once again, he asked, “Will you marry me?”
I covered my mouth, nodding enthusiastically as he slipped the ring on my finger. I flung my arms around his neck, crashing into him.
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you. I want nothing more than to have your last name.” I breathed out the words, clinging to him as he stood up. He let me slide to my feet and leaned down, kissing me hard. When we parted, I looked up at him in amazement. “You got the other team to play into all of this?” I laughed, looking down at the ring for a moment and then back up at him. “How long have you been planning this?”
“A long time,” he kissed the side of my head, and I looked over to see Taylor and Jeff just a few feet away. Jeff looked like a proud father, and Taylor was still snapping away as we walked over to them.
“How’d I do?” Josh asked, bumping his fist with Jeff’s in a celebratory fashion.
Taylor appraised the ring that I suspected she helped Josh pick out before pulling me into a hug. “Sorry I didn’t tell you, but your last roommate tried to kill you, so I figure you can forgive me for this one,” she said so dryly that I snorted out a laugh. She looked up at Josh, poking him in the chest. “I told you to do something dramatic that would look good in pictures, I never approved whatever the hell that stunt was.”
Josh grinned at her widely as he pulled me to stand in front of him, his arm cocooning me. “You’re gonna be fun to plan a wedding with,” Josh teased her, and I covered my face to conceal my smile.
Jeff sloppily wrapped an arm around Taylor as she pointed a finger up Josh, who dwarfed her small frame. “Listen, buddy. I’m her best friend, which means I will be in her wedding regardless. You’re just the groom and those are replaceable.” My whole body shook with laughter.
“Okay, killer. How about we go get some food and celebrate?” Jeff said, steering her toward the blanket to col
lect her equipment.
“Ohh, cheese fries?” I heard her entire tone change as they moved away from us, and I turned in Josh’s arms.
“I love you, Josh Travin,” I said, beaming up at him. ”We’re really doing this.” He nodded, leaning down to pepper kisses on my face.
“I love you more, soon-to-be Mrs. Travin,” he whispered right before he crashed his lips to mine.
* * *
The End
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Are you ready to jump back into the binge-worthy world of The Darlington Elite?
Download Broken Elite (Book One) today!
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Damaged Elite (Book Two) will be released Summer 2020
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Waverly and T. Steele will be releasing several collabs, if you haven’t already, check out these releases by Author T. Steele.
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The Hitman’s Desire (Book one)
The Redemption of Nixon Thorne (Standalone)
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A special thank you to Mrs. Laff for letting me use your shop as inspiration for the one in the book. My Makes by Mary. Check her out, she’s so talented!
Acknowledgments
Mom, Thanks for letting me bring in all those old dogs and cats over the years and for pretending to believe me when I said they just “came up on the porch and wanted to come in on their own.” Also thanks for not reading the steamy parts in my books. Haha. I love you. Always.
Taydawg, We got bangs, and that’s still the funniest thing ever. Remember that time we put our pre-orders up before the books were even halfway done? Haha I can’t believe we’re already on our second release, and I’m so pumped for everything we have planned for the next couple years. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. Thank you for always telling me everything is fine, even when we should be panicking. Here’s to spending many more hours sending each other One Direction conspiracy videos instead of writing. Thanks for always reading my books fifty times to make sure I got it right. #chaosqueens
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